Chapter 69
My eyes opened for the—how many times was it? Was it the hundredth? The thousandth?
Is this real? Or am I dreaming still?
I blinked once, twice. It felt very real, at least. But even the long series of false awakenings and lucid dreams felt real at first, until I realised that they were not dreams, but echoes from my past. I was certain they were; I knew it the moment I saw her face.
Before even taking in my surroundings, I took a moment for myself and risked closing my eyes.
I had just confirmed that both of my parents were dead, and despite wishing that the half-truth I was made to believe for the past ten years was a full-blown lie, I still found the sides of my lips curving upwards.
One might think of me as heartless—spineless—but I was not smiling because my parents were dead.
I was smiling because I remembered them. I remembered the love we had shared.
I felt stupid now to have had thoughts of my parents erasing my memories and leaving me at the orphanage after faking their own deaths because I was insupportable and they wanted to get rid of me.
What truly haunted me wasn’t solely their absence from my life, but their absence from my memories, too. So yes, now that I no longer viewed the world through frosted eyes, I smiled as I thought of them.
When I opened my eyes, I was still there.
This was real. The room I found myself in was unfamiliar, but I was certain I was somewhere in the Ice Castle of Nivaria.
The floor-to-ceiling white marble gave it away.
The bed I was buried in was excessively furry and unnecessarily large.
At my bedside was a chest of drawers on which stood a very tempting bowl of grapes.
Alongside it was a jar of water filled with slices of lemon and floating ice.
Ice. Is he here?
The twin axes strewn on the coffee table, the stuffed wolf I had made for him, and the crumpled blanket thrown carelessly on the chair next to my side of the bed were my answer.
My bladder, though.
I looked to my right and almost yelped at the sight of a small restroom, its door left ajar.
I wrapped one of the blankets around my naked body and hurried towards the commode, almost stumbling on Aegir’s boots. My feet made small, quick steps on the carpeted floor, then silent ones on the cool marble over which I tiptoed.
Oh, thank the gods.
My hand went to my breastbone and I smiled in relief. My necklace was there, and when I looked down, it was shimmering blue.
Blue—just like how I remembered my mother used to wear it. Just as it was on the eve of my tenth birthday, when she came into my room and gifted it to me. She said it would always keep me safe.
Before exiting the small room, I caught my reflection in a long mirror.
I stepped back, and moved so close to it, my nose almost hit the polished glass.
A misty circle grew larger with every breath I took.
I was ten again. Brought back to that moment when I had glimpsed the colour of my eyes on a spoon and jerked my hand away. This time, I did not flinch.
I tightened the blanket around me. The length of it trailed behind, following me wherever I went.
I brought the jar of lemon water to my lips and drank in gulps, then wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.
I swore it was the most refreshing thing to ever exist. I had been nestled in so many layers of fur and wool that I was at risk of burning up.
Not to mention the crackling hearth across from the bed, suffusing the room with warmth.
I looked to my left, noticing that the bedroom adjoined another two rooms. The blanket rustled against the carpet as I moved along the bed and entered the first room. I brought my fistful of grapes close to my mouth and chewed with widened eyes.
These rooms made Semuel’s room feel…tiny.
The sitting area consisted of two grand, velvety dark grey sofas that dominated the white room.
They faced each other, white fur tossed all over them.
Between the two was a rectangular coffee table made of hardwood.
It stood on top of a furry wine-red carpet that strikingly contrasted the pearly floor.
A map of Lyrantheia, or rather a mural of the continent, occupied the whole of the opposite wall.
I realised then that despite the constant fear of the unknown—the intrusive thoughts about so many things that I had no control over—looking at the map before me brought with it a sensation of bravery and freedom.
A connection between me and myself. A moment of pride, even, to have dared cross the continent and survived the many obstacles that were thrown my way.
I shifted my gaze to my left and smiled. Next to the wall-mounted weaponry armoire, a floor-to-ceiling library stood—tall and tempting. To my right was a dark brown wooden double door that I assumed was the exit.
I went back into the bedroom and made my way towards the remaining unexplored room.
My jaw dropped. The ceilings were impossibly high, and the thick glass at its centre made the room appear partially roofless.
White marble with light grey veins covered every inch of the walls, including two twin colossal columns at the back of it.
They stood proud and tall as if the foundation of the whole castle depended on them.
Between the twin columns was a uniform line of marbled spouts forming delicate streams of water that fell silently onto a slanting marbled slate, carrying it into a horizontal opening in the floor.
I took a few small steps, noticing that the centre of the floor was made entirely of ice. I took another two and realised that it was not an icy floor I was staring at, but a pool-sized bath, frozen through its core, something dark curled in its centre.
I moved closer.
The sound of ice cracking and snapping filled the room, and I was fairly certain that the icy earth beneath me shook. In the blink of an eye, Aegir stood at the pool’s centre. His chest heaved. My eyes fell to his side, lingered on the discoloured scar tissue, a reminder of what he had done for me.
We’ve been through this before.
But this time—this time, it was different.
This time, I did not freeze and stumble the opposite way. No, this time my steps were directed his way. And this time, it was not the melted ice spear that splashed and tumbled into water, but it was Lord Aegir Hailin, dropping to his knees.
“Please, I—I can explain myself, I swear.” His voice was so damned broken.
I kept my pace until I reached the landing, then dipped my right foot. I wasn’t sure why I was surprised to find that the water was not cold at all. The swift change in temperature thanks to Aegir’s powers, of course.
I took it as an invitation.
And as soon as I lifted my face, our eyes met and we both decided not to leave each other’s gaze.
He stilled at my approach, giving me a look that made me question his hope.
I clenched my hands around the blanket—one at the front of my chest, the other at my lower belly—and descended each step until I stood before him. The water reached just below my navel.
He lifted those gorgeous, glassy green eyes from beneath his thick lashes and said, “I swear to you, Cordelia, Princess Maryam was already with child when I made the bargain with King Belzari. The father is Sendor, the Sand Wielder who saved our lives. I hoped that we could spare the honour of the princess and her child, for Sendor. And in turn, we would ally with Ramel, because believe me, we need this alliance, we need the Sand Wielders on our side. I thought since it was common practice in Ramel, that it wouldn’t bring shame upon you.
I swear, Cordelia, every night, while Maryam slept soundly next to Sendor, I stayed in the farthest bedroom of the tall house, wishing that you were with me.
Instead, I spent my nights uneasy, lying awake in bed thinking about no one else but you.
I hated myself. You left me and I couldn’t be any more useless.
The only Fae in godsdamned Lyrantheia that could not track the scent of his own woman, because you smelled too much of me.
I—I don’t know what I can do to make you believe me, but I swear it to Boreas on my mother’s soul. ”
“Hush, you do not have to swear it, and do not swear like that. I heard you, Aegir. I heard every word you said, and I believe you. I believe you, because I know it is the truth.” He did not manage to hide his shivering sigh, or perhaps he did not try to.
“Aegir, when I heard you say her name, the whole world stopped. My heart stopped. The voice in the back of my head told me it was obvious that you would choose a princess over a servant, and when the Seer told me—”
“The Seer? You spoke to the Seer!?”
“Yes, but that’s not important. What she said—she made me believe that you were meant to be with her, that our paths were not the same. And when I saw the ring, I just—”
“Well, the Seer is wrong. She’s wrong!” Aegir bellowed, his fist tapping against his chest. “I know it in my heart, in my soul, that we share the same path.” Still on his knees, Aegir moved his hands to my hips.
“The ring was meant for you. I want you. I don’t care if you are the servant of the lowest servants or the empress of the universe, you are mine, and I very badly want to be yours. ”
My eyes flickered as they searched for his own. He continued, and I did hear what he was saying, but I didn’t fully listen. I just stared at him, blank-eyed, my mind still not done with his earlier words. His own woman. I know it in my soul. You are mine.
My soulbound, he had claimed—gods, the way it pulled me back to life…it unchained me.
His next words came muffled, distant, as they fell on distracted ears. “Your eyes, they—they’re blue. They’re as blue as the sea. And your scent, I can finally scent you—you truly smell like flowers by the sea, just as I had imagined, better. And you—”
“You’re mine.” It came out of my mouth so assertively, it sounded more like a demand than anything else.