Chapter 15 #2
"I'm not just her granddaughter. I'm me."
"I know. But in Timber Falls, that's who you'll always be first. Here, you're just Lucy. Chef-in-training Lucy. Lucy who makes friends with French people and British bankers-turned-pastry-chefs. Lucy who navigates the Paris metro without getting lost."
"I get lost all the time."
"You know what I mean."
They walked in silence for a while, both processing.
"I don't want to lose you," Lucy finally said.
"I don't want to lose you either. But I also don't want to be the reason you don't pursue your dreams."
"Coming home isn't giving up on my dreams. It's part of them."
"Is it? Or is it just the plan you made before you knew what Paris could offer?"
Lucy stopped walking. "I need to think."
"Okay."
"Can we—can we not talk about this right now? Can we just enjoy the rest of your visit?"
"Yeah. Of course."
But the conversation had opened something between them. A crack that couldn't be closed.
The rest of Jake's visit was tinged with unspoken tension.
They did tourist things—the Eiffel Tower, the Louvre, a day trip to Versailles. They ate incredible food and took photos and held hands. But underneath it all was the question neither of them wanted to answer:
What happens in four months when Lucy's program ends?
On Jake's last night in Paris, they went to a Michelin-starred restaurant that Jake insisted on paying for despite Lucy's protests.
"It's too expensive—"
"It's our last night together for three months. Let me do this."
The meal was incredible—seven courses, each one a work of art. Lucy tried to pay attention, to appreciate the technique and presentation. But her mind kept drifting to tomorrow. To Jake leaving. To four more months apart.
"Tell me what you're thinking," Jake said over dessert.
"I'm thinking about what you said. About maybe staying in Paris."
"And?"
"And part of me knows you're right. I am happy here.
I am learning and growing and becoming someone I couldn't be in Timber Falls.
" Lucy set down her fork. "But I also miss home.
I miss Uncle Walter and Rei and Mae. I miss the bakery—even though it's not mine anymore.
I miss Wednesday mornings and snow in Vermont and knowing everyone's name. "
"You can have both. Visit Timber Falls a few times a year. Build your life here but keep connections there."
"That's not the same as coming home."
"I know."
"Jake—do you want me to stay in Paris? Is that what this is about?"
"I want you to choose what makes you happy. Without guilt, without feeling obligated to me or Timber Falls or any plan you made six months ago."
"But what about us?"
Jake reached across the table and took her hand. "I love you. That's not changing. But Lucy—I can't be the reason you limit your life. I can't be the guy who guilted you into coming home when you should have stayed. I care about you too much for that."
"So what? We just—what? Break up? Do long distance indefinitely? What are you suggesting?"
"I'm suggesting we give you space to figure out what you really want. Without the pressure of me waiting in Vermont."
Lucy felt tears start. "That sounds like a breakup."
"It's not a breakup. It's just—" Jake paused. "It's acknowledging that maybe our timeline needs to be flexible. That maybe four months isn't enough to know what you want to do with the rest of your life."
"I thought I knew."
"You thought you knew six months ago. But you've changed. It's okay to acknowledge that."
They finished dinner in heavy silence. Back at Jake's hotel, they made love slowly, savoring every touch, both knowing this might be the last time for a long while.
Afterwards, lying in the darkness, Lucy whispered, "I don't want to lose you."
"You won't lose me. But Lucy—you need to figure out what you want. Really want. Not what you think you should want. Not what makes me or Uncle Walter or anyone else happy. What makes you happy."
"What if I don't know?"
"Then take the time to figure it out. You have four months. Use them."
In the morning, Lucy went with Jake to the airport.
They stood at the security checkpoint, holding each other, both trying not to cry.
"I love you," Lucy said.
"I love you too. So much."
"What happens now?"
"Now you finish your program. You figure out what you want. And we see where we both are in four months."
"That's so vague."
"I know. But I think we need vague right now. We need space to grow without feeling like we're failing each other."
Lucy pulled back to look at him. "Are we breaking up?"
"I don't know. Maybe we're just—pausing. Taking a breath. Giving you room to become whoever you're supposed to be."
"What if who I'm supposed to be doesn't include you?"
Jake's face crumpled slightly. "Then I'll survive. And I'll be happy you figured it out. But Lucy—I hope it does include me. I really hope it does."
They kissed one more time, and then Jake was walking through security, and Lucy was watching him go.
She stood at the airport long after his flight departed, staring at the departure boards, trying to process what had just happened.
Had they broken up? Were they still together? She genuinely didn't know.
Lucy pulled out her phone and texted Uncle Walter.
Lucy: I think Jake and I just broke up. Maybe. I'm not sure.
Uncle Walter: What happened?
Lucy: He said I need space to figure out what I want. That I shouldn't feel obligated to come home in four months if Paris is where I should be.
Uncle Walter: And what do you want?
Lucy: I don't know anymore.
Uncle Walter: Then take the time to figure it out. Jake loves you enough to give you that space. That's a gift.
Lucy: It doesn't feel like a gift. It feels like losing him.
Uncle Walter: You can't lose something that's meant to be yours. If you and Jake are meant to be together, you will be. But first you need to know who you are. Separate from him, separate from Timber Falls, separate from all of us.
Lucy: I'm scared.
Uncle Walter: Good. That means it matters.
Lucy put away her phone and took the metro back to her apartment.
Paris looked different now. Not like a temporary stop. But like a potential future.
She had four months to decide. Four months to figure out who Lucy Chen was when she wasn't defined by her grandmother's legacy or her relationship or her hometown.
Four months to choose herself.
It should have felt liberating.
Instead, it just felt lonely.
The flight back to Vermont was the longest of Jake's life.
He replayed the week in Paris over and over. Seeing Lucy thrive. Watching her with her friends. Realizing that she'd built a life that didn't include him.
He'd told her to take space, to figure out what she wanted. Had practically given her permission to stay in Paris permanently.
And he'd meant it. He didn't want to be the person who held Lucy back.
But that didn't mean it didn't hurt like hell.
Marcus picked him up from the airport, took one look at Jake's face, and said: "What happened?"
"I think Lucy and I broke up."
"What? Why?"
Jake told him everything as Marcus drove back to Timber Falls. About Lucy's life in Paris. About her friends and her happiness and how Jake felt like an outsider. About suggesting that maybe she should stay in Paris. About their mutual agreement to take space.
"So you broke up," Marcus concluded.
"I don't know. Maybe? We didn't say the words. We just—agreed to give her space to figure out what she wants."
"That's a breakup, man."
"Is it? I still love her. She still loves me."
"But you're not together."
Jake was quiet. Because Marcus was right. They weren't together. Not really. They were in limbo—not broken up but not together either.
"I thought I was doing the right thing," Jake said. "Giving her space. Not making her feel guilty about wanting to stay in Paris."
"You probably were doing the right thing. That doesn't mean it doesn't suck."
Back in Timber Falls, Jake's apartment felt emptier than ever. Lucy's toothbrush was gone from the bathroom—she'd taken it to Paris. Her coffee mug was still on the counter, but it was dusty from disuse. Signs that she'd been here. That they'd been together.
But were they still?
Jake pulled out his phone and texted Lucy.
Jake: Landed safely. Hope you're okay.
Three dots appeared. Then disappeared. Then appeared again.
Lucy: I'm okay. Glad you made it home safe.
Jake: I love you. That hasn't changed.
Lucy: I love you too. Talk soon?
Jake: Yeah. Talk soon.
Jake set down his phone and looked around his apartment. Four months. He had four months to wait and see if Lucy chose to come home.
Four months to wonder if he'd just lost the love of his life by being too noble.
Four months to figure out how to live with the uncertainty.
Marcus had said that not knowing was the hardest part. That at least a clean breakup gave you closure.
But Jake didn't want closure. He wanted Lucy.
And maybe—maybe—in four months, he'd have her.
Or maybe he'd just have the memory of what they'd been before Paris changed everything.
Jake went to bed at 8 PM (2 AM Paris time) and didn't sleep.
Through the wall, he could hear sounds from Lucy's apartment—a new tenant had moved in last week, someone Mae had found to sublet for the months Lucy was gone.
Someone else was living Lucy's life in Timber Falls.
Just like someone else (Amelie, James, Yuki) was living Jake's place in Lucy's Paris life.
Everything had shifted. Changed. Become uncertain.
And Jake had no idea how to find his way back to solid ground.
After Jake left, Lucy threw herself into school.
She arrived early, stayed late, volunteered for every extra assignment Chef Laurent offered. She worked until her hands cramped and her feet ached and she was too exhausted to think about Jake.
"You're going to burn out," Amelie warned one afternoon.
"I'm fine."
"You're working like someone running from something."
"I'm just focused."
"You're avoiding. What happened with Jake?"
Lucy hadn't told anyone about their semi-breakup. Hadn't known how to explain something she didn't understand herself.
"We're taking space," Lucy finally said. "Figuring out what we want."
"Space is code for breakup, non?"
"Maybe. I don't know."
Amelie studied her. "Do you want to stay in Paris? After the program ends?"
"I don't know that either."
"You must decide. Chef Laurent told me today—he thinks you have real talent. He said if you want, he can help you find placement in a Michelin kitchen. That's very rare, Lucy. He doesn't offer that to many students."
Lucy felt her stomach flip. "He said that?"
"Oui. He thinks you could work anywhere in Paris. Maybe anywhere in Europe." Amelie paused. "But you have to want it. You have to choose it."
That night, Lucy walked along the Seine and thought about choices.
She could stay in Paris. Take the placement Chef Laurent was offering. Build a career in French cuisine. Visit Timber Falls occasionally but make Paris her home.
Or she could go back to Vermont in four months like she'd planned. Open her restaurant. Rebuild her relationship with Jake. Stay close to Uncle Walter and Rei and everyone she loved.
Both futures were possible. Both had merit.
But which one did she actually want?
Lucy pulled out her phone and started a voice memo.
"I'm in Paris. It's beautiful and terrifying and I'm learning more than I ever thought possible. Chef Laurent thinks I have real talent—he wants to help me find placement in a Michelin kitchen. That's incredible. That's a dream I didn't even know I had."
Lucy paused, watching the boats pass on the Seine.
"But I miss home. I miss Timber Falls and Wednesday mornings and snow. I miss knowing everyone's name. I miss Uncle Walter's bad coffee and Rei's tough love and Mae's optimism. I miss the bakery—even though it's not mine anymore. I miss belonging somewhere."
Another pause.
"And I miss Jake. God, I miss him so much. But maybe Jake was right. Maybe I need to figure out who I am without him. Without Timber Falls defining me. Without anyone's expectations but my own."
Lucy stopped the recording and saved it. Maybe she'd send it to someone eventually. Or maybe she'd just keep making these voice memos—documenting her thoughts as she tried to figure out this impossible choice.
Four months. She had four months to decide.
It felt like forever and no time at all.
Lucy walked back to her apartment, climbed the four flights of stairs, and looked out at the Paris skyline.
This could be home. This could be her life.
Or Timber Falls could be home. That could be her life.
Both futures were possible.
She just had to be brave enough to choose.