Chapter 24 #2
Jake was quiet for a moment. "Yeah. I am. I want to build a life with you, Lucy. Not just share an apartment. Build an actual life. Home, future, everything."
"That's—Jake, that's basically proposing."
"Maybe it is."
Lucy's heart was pounding. "We haven't talked about marriage. We haven't talked about forever. We've barely talked about next month."
"I know. And I'm not proposing. Not officially. I'm just—saying that I'm ready for all of it. Whenever you are. House, marriage, forever. All of it."
Lucy felt overwhelmed. "Can I think about the house? About all of it?"
"Of course. Take all the time you need."
But Lucy could see something in Jake's eyes. Not hurt, exactly. But maybe—resignation? Like he'd put himself out there and she'd pulled back. Again.
Jake tried not to feel disappointed.
He'd told Lucy he was ready for everything—house, marriage, future. And she'd said she needed to think about it.
Which was fair. They'd only been officially living together for six weeks. It was fast.
But Jake was tired of slow. Tired of waiting. Tired of feeling like Lucy always had one foot out the door, ready to run if things got too serious.
"She's scared," Marcus said when Jake told him about it. "That's all this is. Fear."
"I know she's scared. But Marcus—at what point does fear become an excuse? At what point do I stop being patient and start being a doormat?"
"You're not being a doormat. You're being understanding."
"Or I'm being stupid. Waiting around for someone who's never going to fully commit."
"That's not fair. Lucy came back from Paris. She moved in with you. She's building a life here. That's commitment."
"But is it? Or is she just—here until the next thing scares her and she runs again?"
Marcus was quiet. "You need to talk to her. Tell her what you're feeling. Not in an accusatory way, but honest. She needs to know this uncertainty is hurting you."
That night, Jake came home to find Lucy cooking dinner. She looked nervous.
"Hey," she said. "I made your favorite. Trying to butter you up."
"Butter me up for what?"
"For a conversation. About the house. About us. About—everything."
They sat down with dinner, and Lucy took a breath.
"I've been thinking about what you said. About being ready for everything. And Jake—I'm not ready. Not for a house, not for marriage, not for forever. Not yet."
Jake felt his heart sink. "Okay."
"But—and this is important—not being ready isn't the same as not wanting it. I do want all of that. With you. I'm just—I'm still scared. Still worried I'll mess it up. Still learning to trust myself to stay committed."
"How much longer do you need to learn that? Because Lucy—I've been patient. I've been understanding. But I can't wait forever for you to believe that you're not going to run again."
"I'm not asking you to wait forever. I'm asking for more time. Maybe—maybe another six months. By the end of the year, I'll know. I'll be ready to make real decisions about our future."
"Six months."
"Is that too long?"
Jake wanted to say yes. Wanted to say that he was ready now, that six more months of limbo felt impossible. But he also loved Lucy. And if six months was what she needed—
"Okay," Jake said. "Six months. But Lucy—at the end of those six months, we need to make decisions. About the house, about our future, about whether we're building toward something permanent or just—treading water."
"I understand. And Jake—I promise. Six months from now, I'll give you an answer. About all of it."
They finished dinner in tense silence, and Jake couldn't shake the feeling that he'd just agreed to something he'd regret.
Six more months of waiting. Six more months of uncertainty.
He loved Lucy. But how long could love survive without commitment?
Lucy knew Jake was hurt.
He'd put himself out there—said he was ready for everything—and she'd asked for more time. Again.
She was being the same person she'd always been. Scared of commitment, scared of vulnerability, scared of trusting herself to stay.
"You're self-sabotaging," Rei said bluntly when Lucy told her about it. "Again."
"I'm not self-sabotaging. I'm being realistic."
"You're being scared. Lucy, Jake is ready to build a life with you. Real, permanent, forever life. And you're stalling because you're afraid of messing it up. But guess what? Stalling IS messing it up."
"I just need more time—"
"You've had time! You've been back from Paris for eight months. You've been living with Jake for two months. At some point, you have to stop waiting to feel ready and just be brave enough to commit anyway."
"What if I'm not brave enough?"
"Then you'll lose him. Because Jake's not going to wait forever."
Lucy knew Rei was right. She could feel Jake pulling away. Not dramatically, not obviously. But in small ways—less affectionate, more distant, like he was protecting himself from her inevitable abandonment.
The magazine feature happened in early July.
The writer and photographer came to Margaret's, interviewed Lucy and Daniel, took photos of the kitchen and dining room. It was exciting and terrifying and everything Lucy had dreamed about when she opened the restaurant.
But Jake wasn't there. He was at a coaching clinic planning meeting with Tommy. Building his own dream.
They were both building dreams. Just—separately. Like two parallel lines that looked close but never actually touched.
After the magazine people left, Lucy sat in her empty restaurant and cried.
She'd done it. Built the restaurant she'd always wanted. Had glowing reviews, a full reservation book, recognition from major publications.
But she was losing Jake. She could feel it. Could feel him deciding that waiting for her to be ready wasn't worth it anymore.
Lucy pulled out her phone and called Uncle Walter.
"Lulu? Everything okay?"
"I'm losing him. I'm losing Jake because I'm too scared to commit and I don't know how to stop being scared."
"Come over. Let's talk."
At Uncle Walter's house, Lucy broke down completely.
"I love him. I really love him. But every time he asks for more commitment, I panic. I ask for more time. And I can see him getting tired of waiting. What's wrong with me?"
Uncle Walter pulled her into a hug. "Nothing's wrong with you. You're scared. That's normal."
"But it's not normal to keep pushing away someone who loves you just because you're scared!"
"No. It's not. So Lucy—what are you scared of? Really?"
"I'm scared of promising forever and then changing my mind. I'm scared of committing to a life here and then wanting something different. I'm scared of being the person who left for Paris all over again."
"But Lucy—you're not that person anymore. You came back. You built Margaret's. You've stayed for eight months without running. You've proven you're committed to this life."
"To the restaurant, yes. But to Jake? I keep asking for more time because I'm terrified that if I commit fully, I'll discover I made the wrong choice again."
"And what if you commit fully and discover you made the right choice?"
Lucy was quiet.
"Here's what I think," Uncle Walter said gently. "I think you're waiting to feel certain before you commit. But certainty doesn't come before commitment. It comes after. You commit, you choose, you build a life. And then, years later, you look back and realize it was the right choice all along."
"But what if it's not the right choice?"
"Then you adjust. You communicate. You work through it. That's what partnerships are—two people choosing each other over and over, even when it's hard."
"I don't know if I'm capable of that."
"You are. You already have been. Lucy, you chose Jake every day for eight months. You chose Timber Falls. You chose this life. You just haven't said the words yet. Haven't made it official."
"What if I say the words and then change my mind?"
"Then you'll deal with it. But Lulu—you can't let fear of what might happen keep you from what's happening now. Jake loves you. You love him. That's all you need to know."
Lucy drove home thinking about what Uncle Walter had said.
She'd been waiting for certainty. Waiting to feel ready. Waiting for some sign that committing to Jake was the right choice.
But maybe certainty didn't work that way. Maybe you just had to choose and trust that the choice would become right through the choosing.
At their apartment, Jake was watching film. He looked up when Lucy came in.
"Hey. How did it go with the magazine?"
"Good. They'll run the feature in September." Lucy sat down next to him. "Jake, we need to talk."
"Okay."
"I've been thinking about what you said. About being ready for everything. And I realized—I've been waiting to feel ready. Waiting for some perfect moment when I'm not scared anymore. But that moment isn't coming. I'm always going to be a little scared. That's just who I am."
"Okay."
"But I don't want to lose you because I'm too scared to commit. So here's what I'm saying: I want to buy the house. I want to build a life with you. I want—all of it. Whatever all of it means. I'm still scared, but I'm choosing it anyway. Choosing you anyway."
Jake was quiet for a long moment. Then: "Are you sure? Because Lucy—I can't do this again. I can't have you commit and then change your mind six months from now. I need to know you're all in."
"I'm all in. I promise. No more asking for time, no more hedging. I'm choosing this. I'm choosing you."
Jake pulled her close. "Okay. Then let's buy the house. Let's build a life. Let's do all of it."
Lucy kissed him, relief flooding through her. She'd said it. She'd committed. She'd chosen brave over scared.
And it felt right. Terrifying, but right.
"Jake?" Lucy whispered.
"Yeah?"
"Thank you. For waiting. For being patient. For not giving up on me."
"Thank you for being brave enough to choose. That's all I needed."
They sat on the couch, holding each other, and Lucy felt something settle in her chest.
This was it. This was commitment. Not perfect, not without fear, but real.
And that was enough.
More than enough.
It was everything.