Chapter 28
twenty-eight
. . .
Stella
Blair's living room has been transformed into the ultimate girls' night setup with blankets everywhere, wine glasses scattered across the coffee table, and enough takeout containers to feed a small army.
But the real star of the show is baby Ruby, who's currently being passed around like the most precious item in existence.
“I can't get over how perfect she is,” I say, cradling the tiny bundle against my chest. Ruby's fingers curl around mine, and something in my chest goes soft and warm. “Look at those little fingernails.”
“She's got Wyatt's nose,” Jess observes, leaning over to stroke Ruby's cheek. “But Blair's stubborn chin.”
“She's going to be trouble,” Sophia adds with a grin. “I can already tell.”
Blair beams from her spot on the couch, looking tired but radiant. “She's been sleeping better this week, thank God. I was starting to forget what it felt like to be human.”
“You're doing amazing,” Natalie says warmly. “Single-handedly growing a human and then keeping it alive? That's superhero-level stuff.”
After Ruby goes down for the night, we settle back with fresh glasses of wine.
“So,” Jess says, leaning back into the couch and fixing me with that mischievous grin she gets when she's about to stir up trouble, “I think we all agree we want the update on your fake boyfriend.”
“Which part?” I groan, already knowing where this is going. “When I blurted it out in a panic or when I had to move in with him for a week?”
“All of it!” Jess laughs. “But especially Brandon's face when you asked him to pretend to be madly in love with you. That man does not half-ass anything, so I can only imagine his reaction.”
“He was surprisingly good at it,” I admit, taking a large sip of wine. “Too good, actually.”
Blair raises an eyebrow. “Too good how?”
“That's what I want to know,” Natalie says, leaning forward with obvious interest. “Because you've been telling us for months how you two are 'just friends,' but something clearly shifted.”
“Wait, back up,” Sophia says. “How did things actually go with your mom? Did she buy it?”
“Completely. She absolutely adored him.” I curl my legs up under me, getting comfortable for what I know is about to become a long story.
“She kept going on about how perfect we were together, how he was such a gentleman, how I'd better not mess it up because good men like Brandon don't stay single forever.”
“Smart woman,” Jess says with a grin.
“But,” I continue, and I can feel my cheeks warming, “some things didn't feel very fake.”
“Finally!” Natalie exclaims. “I've been waiting for this part.”
“There's nothing to wait for. We're just friends!” I protest.
“I told you not to jinx it. That shit creeps up on you when you least expect it,” Jess says.
“What shit?” Blair observes with amusement.
“Feelings,” Jess says, twisting her face in disgust, which is hilarious because those feelings are exactly what have her the happiest she's been in maybe ever.
“It's not my fault! The fake kissing was like a gateway drug. One minute, we're putting on a show for my mother; the next minute, we're making out on his couch like teenagers.”
“Shut up!” Natalie jumps up to pour more wine into all of our glasses. “I'm going to need more specifics.”
I bury my face in my hands. “It got complicated. Really complicated. By the end of the week, we were sharing a bed and waking up tangled together and…” I trail off, not sure how much detail to share.
“And?” Jess prompts, clearly not willing to let me off the hook.
“And let's just say we both needed cold showers afterward,” I mumble through my fingers, “before my mother knocked on the door.”
The room erupts in excited chatter as everyone talks at once.
“How was it?” Sophia asks with the kind of grin that suggests she already knows the answer.
“Mind blowing,” I admit, then immediately want to take it back. “But nothing penetrating. We kept our clothes on. Mostly.”
“Mostly?” Blair laughs. “Stella Rhodes, what exactly happened in that apartment?”
“A lot of heavy breathing and strategic positioning,” I say, my face burning. “And hands under shirts. And some very creative use of fabric friction.”
“Oh, my God,” Jess gasps. “Did you dry hump Brandon Grimaldi?”
“Don't say it like that!” I protest, though that's exactly what happened. “It was intense. And confusing. And we've managed to avoid each other all week with dumb excuses about work being busy. And now everything's weird, and I don't know what any of it means.”
“It means you have feelings for each other,” Blair says matter-of-factly.
“But what if Brandon doesn't feel the same way? What if he was just caught up in the moment because we were playing house for a week?” The fear I've been carrying around all week finally comes spilling out. “What if I'm reading too much into everything?”
“Stella,” Jess says, leaning forward with the kind of serious expression she usually reserves for investigative journalism, “I've known Brandon for years.
I've watched him with women at parties, on dates, in casual hookup situations.
He's charming, he's a gentleman, but he's also guarded. He doesn't let people get close.”
“He's close with all of us,” I point out.
“Not the same way he is with you,” Blair says immediately.
The other women nod in agreement, and I look around at their faces, feeling like I'm missing something obvious.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, he brings you actual meals when you're working late, not just coffee,” Sophia says, as she counts off on her fingers.
“He remembers which client meetings stress you out and texts you good luck before them.
He automatically saves you the seat next to him at group dinners, and when you're talking, he turns his whole body toward you like nothing else in the room matters.”
“Plus,” Jess adds, “you two have your own language. All those inside jokes and looks across the room. And Stella, you fix his collar without thinking about it, you steal food off his plate like it's yours, and when he's telling a story, you finish his sentences.”
“He has a key to your apartment,” Blair mentions.
“Well, he's my neighbor. That's more of an emergency thing.”
“He drops everything when you need help,” Natalie adds.
“That's just friendship,” I protest, but something in my chest is fluttering.
“No, honey,” Blair says softly. “That's not just friendship. That's a man who's completely gone for someone and doesn't know how to say it.”
“I don't know if you've noticed, Stella, but he's not dating,” Sophia points out. “He hasn't been on a real date with anyone else since you two became close. And until your mother started laying on the pressure, neither of you have seemed interested in meeting other people anymore.”
“That's not true. I went to trivia night with Mason. And I had asked Brandon to give me lessons on how to catch a guy's attention.”
“Did Mason ever text you?” Natalie asks.
“He did.”
“And?” Natalie pushes for more.
“It's complicated.”
“Complicated how?” Sophia asks.
“Well,” I say as I look around the room, all eyes on me. “His text came in while I was kissing Brandon. And it felt weird to reply. And then I may have told him I'd get back to him because I wasn't sure what was going on with Brandon.”
“So, other than Mason, any other guys on the watch list?” Jess asks.
The room falls quiet for a moment, and the weight of realization settles over me.
“So, what do I do?” I finally ask, feeling lost, hopeful, and terrified all at once.
“You talk to him,” Sophia says firmly. “When he gets back from his boys' weekend, you sit him down and have an honest conversation about what you both want.”
“What if it ruins our friendship?”
“What if it doesn't?” Natalie counters. “What if it makes everything better?”
“Look,” Jess says, reaching over to squeeze my hand. “You all but admitted that being fake-intimate with Brandon felt more real than anything you've ever experienced. That should tell you something.”
As the evening winds down and we start cleaning up, I find myself thinking about Brandon somewhere in La Jolla with the guys. Wondering if he's thinking about me, too. Wondering if this time apart will give us both the clarity we need to figure out what comes next.
“You know what the best part is?” I say as we're gathering our purses to leave. “Even with all the confusion and weirdness, I miss him. It's been a few days, and I actually miss having him around.”
“That's love, honey,” Blair says softly. “When missing someone becomes as natural as breathing.”
“I'm not ready to call it that,” I say quickly.
“You don't have to call it anything,” Sophia says, giving me a hug goodbye. “Just don't let fear make the decision for you.”
As I Uber home to my empty apartment, their words echo in my head. One thing has become crystal clear tonight: whatever this thing is between Brandon and me, it's not going away. And maybe it's time to stop pretending it should.