Chapter Twenty-One
Bella watched George exit the house, his spine stiff and stride long. He did not look back. She wheeled to look at her Papa, who was regarding her sternly.
"Where is George going?" she asked, her hurt beginning to cool into anger. He had caused this, she was sure of it.
"I could not say, sweetheart. About his business, I expect." His tone softened and he took a step towards her. "I do not think you should be out of bed. You have had quite an ordeal."
Bella stared at him. There was something about the careful way he spoke that made her suspicions harden into certainty.
Her father had never been a convincing liar.
He was too honourable by half and became strangely formal whenever he attempted any sort of evasion.
He had said something to George to cause him to leave without looking.
He had called her Miss Darcy for heaven’s sake. Something was wrong, very, very wrong.
"What did you say to him?" she asked, her eyes narrowing as she strode towards him.
Her papa's eyebrows lifted and he took a small, hesitant step back. "I beg your pardon?"
"George. You spoke to him before he left. What did you say?"
"I had a conversation with Captain Harwood, which I think you will agree was entirely reasonable under the circumstances.
He has spent a considerable amount of time in your company these past days and was with you throughout this whole dreadful business.
I wished to understand exactly what had happened.
It is my prerogative to care for your wellbeing, Arabella. "
Bella folded her arms, and tried not to roll her eyes at the use of her full name.
She would get to the truth of this if it killed her.
"And what else did you wish to understand?
What instructions did the master of Pemberley give to the lowly naval captain?
An honourable and brave naval captain I might add. "
Her father averted his eyes and stared at the polished wood of the floor. When he looked up, his face was grave. "Perhaps we should continue this discussion in the study."
"I would have this discussion in the middle of Rotten Row at the height of the fashionable hour. For I am not ashamed of my behaviour, Papa."
She saw Mina's head pop out from behind the parlour door, her eyes wide, before slowly retreating again. Bella had little doubt that the whole household was attending to the conversation by now.
Her father was silent for several long seconds, every one of which made the frustration prickle more fiercely beneath Bella's skin.
At last he said, "Yesterday, that man engaged you in a very public display of affection which was most inappropriate.
As your father, it is my right and my duty to ascertain his intentions towards you. "
"I daresay after several days locked in a grimy cell we might be allowed a little leeway from the strictures of society."
Red spots had appeared high on her father's cheeks. He drew in a slow breath before grinding out, "And that is the only reason I have not called him out, as I informed him earlier. Now, for God’s sake, go and get some rest."
He had clearly determined the conversation was over and made to turn away from her.
She ran after him to match his long strides and caught him by the sleeves.
He turned to look at her, eyes wide. They had endured disagreements before, certainly.
But she never would have acted so boldly in the past. She found in this moment she could not give a single fig for propriety and respect.
"And what were his intentions exactly?"
"He said that he had no wish to cause you difficulty and that, given everything you have endured, he thought it best to remove himself for the present."
"Those were his words or yours?" The fierce burn of anger was starting to wane now and she felt tears begin to fill her eyes. Her father reached out as if to comfort her but she stepped back from him, pushing the heels of her hands into her eyes as if to stem the flow.
"And what did you tell him my intentions were?"
Darcy frowned. "I did not presume to tell him any such thing."
"No, only what his ought to be."
"Bella, do not twist my words. I merely made it clear that you have been through a grave ordeal and that your mother and I intend to take you home as soon as you are well enough to travel. I hardly think this is the moment for Captain Harwood to be filling your head with romantic declarations."
"Filling my head? Do you imagine I have no part whatsoever in any of this?"
"I imagine that you have spent several days in a horrifying situation and have scarcely slept. Forgive me if I do not think this is the ideal circumstance in which to make decisions that may affect the rest of your life."
"I have made no decision about the rest of my life!"
"Then we are in agreement."
"No, we are not!" Bella could hear her voice rising and did not care. "Because you have already decided that whatever might happen between George and me ought to stop before I have had the chance to decide anything at all."
Her father's expression tightened. "I have decided nothing of the sort. Captain Harwood is a grown man and perfectly capable of making his own choices."
"Oh, that is rich."
"I beg your pardon?"
Bella gave a short laugh that held very little humour. "George is apparently allowed to make his own choices. You are allowed to make yours. Everyone in this house may make choices except me."
For a moment her father simply stared at her.
Bella knew she was being unfair, at least in part.
She had made a series of rash choices during the previous fortnight and could hardly pretend they had been wise.
She had run away in the dead of night, lied about her identity, followed George into danger despite being warned not to and ultimately landed them both in the hands of men who might have killed them.
She was beginning to understand why her parents had feared allowing her too much independence.
But understanding that she had behaved foolishly did not mean she was prepared to hand every decision back to her father and return obediently to the life she had fled.
"I know what I did was wrong," she said, quieter now. "I know I frightened you and Mama, and I am sorry for that. More sorry than I can properly explain. But that does not mean I suddenly cease to have a mind of my own."
"No one has suggested that you do."
"Are they not? You tell me that one day I must manage an estate and make decisions that affect hundreds of people.
You tell me that I must learn to stand my ground because men will question my authority simply because I am a woman.
You want me to be capable and sensible and strong enough to take your place one day, but whenever I try to make a decision you dislike, I am suddenly your little girl again and you know better. "
Darcy dragged a hand over his face, and Bella could see his own temper beginning to rise. "There is an enormous difference between learning to manage Pemberley and running away from home before becoming embroiled in a smuggling operation."
"I know that. I am not an empty-headed dolt, Papa."
"Do you? Because I have spent years trying to make you understand that the world beyond Pemberley is not always kind, and in the space of a fortnight you seem to have encountered almost every danger I feared for you."
Bella opened her mouth to answer, but nothing came. Put that way, it was difficult to argue with him.
Her papa pressed on. "When we discovered you were gone, I did not know whether you were safe.
I did not know whether you were injured or frightened or lying dead somewhere in a ditch.
God willing, you will understand one day the joy and pain of having children of your own, and how from that moment your heart seems to live outside your own body.
" His voice cracked and he paused, visibly struggling to master himself.
"I was tormented by the thought that I might have lost you.
Then, just as we discovered where you were and believed you safe with Lydia, we arrived to find you had disappeared again and been taken by criminals.
So yes, Bella, I am feeling somewhat protective of you at present. "
She had thought of his fury and of the lecture that would inevitably follow their reunion, but not of him waking every morning without knowing whether she was alive.
The thought made shame creep through her, but then she glanced towards the door through which George had disappeared and another ache took its place.
"I understand why you are angry with me," she said. "But George was not the cause of any of those things. If anything, he spent most of his time trying to stop me. And he saved my life."
Bella pressed on, the words falling from her lips unbidden.
"He cared for me when he had every reason not to.
He was hurt because of me and still protected me.
" Bella swallowed a sob. "He knew me when I was only Bella.
George thought I was merely Miss Bennet, an irritating young woman who had arrived in Falmouth and kept interfering in his affairs. "
Her father’s expression softened. "I do understand what you are saying. But now he does know who you are, and that changes matters."
"Why should it?"
"Because it simply does. You are the future mistress of Pemberley. You have responsibilities here, and any man you marry must understand what that means. Captain Harwood has built a life in Cornwall. He has his work here. He has neither estate nor fortune of any great significance and..."
Bella stared at him and a sudden, almost hysterical laugh bubbled from her throat. "Oh, Papa."
His eyes narrowed. "What?"
"You cannot possibly be serious."
"I assure you I am."
"You are going to stand there and lecture me about making a sensible match?"
She watched understanding creep across his face and almost enjoyed it.
"Bella."
"You married Mama. How sensible did everyone think that was?"
Darcy drew himself up. "I am perfectly aware whom I married and this has nothing whatsoever to do with your mother."
"It has everything to do with her! Mama had no fortune.
Longbourn was entailed away. Grandmama Bennet was...
" Bella hesitated, for even in death there were certain things one ought not to say of one's grandmother.
"Well, she was hardly an example of gently-bred decorum.
And Aunt Lydia had already run away with Wickham.
She told me all about it," Bella continued.
"Your family must have thought you had run mad. "
"Well that is hardly here nor there. Your mother was and is my superior in every way that matters.
" Her father shook his head as if trying to settle some internal disagreement.
"I knew your mother's character. I had known her for many months by the time we became engaged.
I knew her intelligence, her principles and the goodness of her heart.
You have known Captain Harwood for scarcely more than a week. "
"A period of time in which I have spent many hours in his company and learnt a great deal about his character."
"Bella..."
Bella ignored him and went on. "You always told us that Mama made you a better man.
That you admired her because she challenged you and refused to be impressed by Pemberley or your consequence.
Why is it admirable when you choose someone for their character rather than their fortune, but foolish when I might wish to do the same? "
"I am not saying Captain Harwood is beneath you."
"You are doing a very fine impression of it."
"I am saying that marriage to you would require enormous changes to his life, just as marriage to him might require changes to yours. Those are matters that ought to be considered with rather more care than either of you appears capable of exercising at present."
They both turned at the sound of hurried footsteps beyond the corridor and a door opening and closing.
Her mother appeared a moment later, eyes wide and her mouth set in an unhappy line.
"And what, exactly, is going on here? It appears to me that you have both decided to conduct a private family conversation in the middle of a public part of the house, and by now every member of this household, from the scullery maid to my sister and her friends taking tea just there," she said, indicating the parlour with a tilt of her head, "has enjoyed a very fine show. "
"My love, I..."
Her mother held up one hand. "I think you have both said quite enough. Fitzwilliam, I shall attend you in the study in five minutes. Bella, you are to rest for the remainder of the day, and I shall accompany you to your room at once."