Chapter 24
Bellini
When I got home, I wrapped myself up in a second coat and headed out to our back deck to stare at the Swan Mountains. They were hiding themselves in the darkness. Inside our home, the lights of our three Christmas trees shone in the darkness.
The kisses with Logan had been spectacular.
I’d almost lost control of myself. I was surprised I hadn’t yanked him underneath the town’s Christmas tree and straddled those hips to show him how much I missed him.
I should award myself a badge. The badge could read, “She Controlled Herself Around Logan for Once.”
Logan was a true man. Strong. Measured. Protective. Tough. Decisive. Smart. Serious. He was playful, too, flirty. Loyal. Funny. Confident enough to support his wife in whatever she wanted to do and be.
I needed to stay away from him. Not only for me, but for him, too. He did not need me to mess up his life again. I’d broken up with him with a ridiculous excuse that he never bought. I could not make love to him…and then leave him.
Again.
When I was younger, I’d thought we’d be married by now.
We’d have a house on his mother’s land, the land Logan so loved, away from his father.
We’d have a bunch of kids. He would be an architect, and I’d write children’s books.
We would have a wild sex life and a huge bed with a canopy, and we’d put the kids to bed early every night so we could take a tumble together.
I knew I wouldn’t marry again, and I wouldn’t have children. I tried not to let that sad, bitter realization knock me off my feet.
Bells.
I heard bells. Jingle bells. Then I heard the first lines of “Jingle Bells” until it faded into the trees, the words swirling up toward the top of the mountains.
This did not make sense. There was no one outside ringing jingle bells. I was exhausted, that was all it was. I did not hear “Jingle Bells,” did I?
I noticed there was a piece of lettuce in the middle of the kitchen table. My mother had written a note.
It said, “Well done, warrior.”