Chapter 19 #2
I’d overheard my mother sharing with someone over the phone that she was just waiting for my father to drop dead so she could live her life the way she wanted.
I’d used her hatred of everything as another push to get the hell out.
While I had one more year to go in school, I was no fool.
I’d researched several universities in the United States I could transfer to if necessary.
If my father made no mention of family obligation during the week I was home, then I’d be more hopeful at being able to graduate.
Maybe that’s why I was so on edge, the anxiety of what I’d face disheartening. But in the years of being gone, I’d grown even more certain I could face whatever was necessary. I’d still get what I wanted no matter what I had to do.
I’d change my identity just like it was possible Kazimir had done. I’d gleaned certain information from my father. I’d track down people who could help me. What I wouldn’t do was to place my trust in anyone.
Not a single soul.
Not even if Kazimir jumped in front of me right here and right now.
A car zoomed by, going entirely too fast just as I made the turn onto the street of my apartment.
There was always some noise in the city from music coming from an apartment window to traffic sounds, laughter and even tears.
Paris was a city of angels and devils, all vying for their place in the world.
Good and evil meshed together from one street to another, people of all ages, languages and religions mixing.
There was so much to see and do that I could spend a lifetime exploring this one city alone and never grow bored.
And I’d done a great deal of exploring already, at least within a wide radius of my apartment.
I knew every sight and expected sound, which was why when I heard a coin being dropped onto the sidewalk behind me, my hackles were raised.
I didn’t stop nor did I turn around, and Golden was also on higher alert.
She pulled at the leash until I tugged only once, whispering to her in Italian to keep quiet.
Holding my breath and with my hearing keen enough, I noticed footsteps, albeit the person was trying to be as quiet as I was. I tugged my shoulder bag directly in front of me. The motherfucker wasn’t going to get everything that was dear to me.
With my nerves on edge, I whispered directions to my baby.
Thank God the sweet fur baby knew several languages. I passed the set of walk-up stairs leading to my apartment, rounding the corner of the building and jogging as silently as possible toward an alleyway a building down from the apartment where I knew there were several hiding places.
Golden Angel didn’t fight me, but her single growl drove me further on edge. She wasn’t a happy girl, but not only because we were being chased. She wanted to explore and make friends.
Now, of all times when a mugging was about to be committed. I ducked into the alleyway, immediately heading for a dumpster to hide behind. Crouching down, I wrapped my arm around Golden Angel and remained completely silent.
The footsteps became more prominent and wouldn’t you know it, the bastard stopped right in front of the opening to the alley.
With my finger across my lips, I made certain Golden knew what I was doing.
She was an amazing dog, her comprehension of not only the English languages but my self-taught sign language special.
And potentially lifesaving.
The bastard was on the phone, but I was unable to understand what he was saying given he was mumbling.
After giving my baby a quick look, I glanced around the edge of the dumpster.
The person was standing with his back to me.
I memorized what he was wearing, including clunky boots that had a silver toe.
Before I could pick up a single word, the call was suddenly ended and I jerked back, holding my breath.
Whoever had been stalking me lingered in the alleyway for a few more seconds before walking off with more briskness to his steps.
Exhaling, all I needed to do was head back the way I came or through the alley to the back steps of the apartment.
Instead, I wanted to get a single look to see if I could identify the possible assailant even from behind.
When I leaned my head past the corner of the building, I could no longer see him. Backing away, I knew it was important to get inside as soon as possible.
“Come on, baby. Let’s go.” We chose to go through the alley, running not jogging just in case the bastard was looking for me. I was careful before bounding onto the sidewalk, my keys already in my hand.
Once inside the secure building, I threw myself against the wall across from the mailboxes. The poor guy hadn’t done anything overt. Maybe I was just nervous from thinking Kazimir had popped back into my life.
Maybe there were spies chasing him. I laughed to myself before heading to the elevator. I’d had enough exercise for the day.
Golden sat on her haunches, staring up at me as she did often, but when she put her paw on my leg, I could sense she wanted to tell me something. “What is it, baby?”
Woof.
“Hmmm… I know, honey. You miss him too, but you know what? I’m angry with him.
Furious.” She pawed me again and I laughed.
If only things could be as easy in my life as it was in hers.
The lying about how I felt was also easier than suffering any longer.
I had to face the fact that Kazimir was gone.
This was my chance at a normal life and I refused to sabotage all my hard work.
Maybe I would go to the rave after all. Why not? In winning the competition, I’d aced the finals. I deserved a little break. Right?
The hallway in my building seemed darker than normal and I realized one of the bulbs in the light fixtures was out. The setting and the experience with the possible intruder were creating an ominous feeling where I’d never been prone to being dramatic before.
I walked in with no obstacles facing me, no creepy men jumping from the shadows, immediately removing Golden’s leash.
“Go get some water, baby. Mommy will be there in a minute.” After tossing my bag onto the couch, I moved to the window overlooking the same street.
I wasn’t worried. No one was scaling the building without using equipment.
The air was the perfect temperature, the light breeze allowing me to take a deep breath.
As midnight approached, the incredible tower had already been transformed into a towering spire of golden lace.
The entire structure seemed to be illuminated with mesmerizing, frantic sparkles, as if a thousand stars had appeared over the Seine.
The sight was my inspiration for my art.
The city had always been the careful caress of my passion.
Now I was spiraling into stupid fantasies once again.
The almost sighting of the man had driven me into a ridiculous tizzy of emotions that needed to stop right now.
I had far too much to concentrate on to descend any further into the depths of my own private hell.
How long had it taken me to dig my way out?
Sighing, I still blew a kiss to the lady Eiffel.
Before I turned around, a strange series of sensations tickled the back of my neck.
Wham!
What the hell was that?
The sound was a brutal thud coming from somewhere outside. It had to be at least a couple of blocks away.
Perhaps a vehicle running into something like an animal? Or sadly, a person? I listened again. There was no rubber hitting the road or squealing of brakes.
Nothing but quiet.
Still, goosebumps tickled my arms.
Maybe someone had been tossed against a building. Like the jerk who’d followed me. That noise I knew as well. When I heard nothing else, I concentrated on another, even more sinister sound.
A very low and almost inaudible sound that wasn’t exactly a menacing growl, but something equally as nerve-racking.
My baby girl was in the kitchen.
“What are you doing in there?” I was dragged from the window, considering grabbing my weapon before moving behind her, instantly glad I didn’t. “Golden. Why are you staring at the trashcan?”
She tipped her furry head, staring at me with such soulful eyes they appeared sad.
She refused to budge, her tail sticking straight out.
There was no open window in my kitchen, yet a faint scent hit me, sensual and nostalgic, instantly pulling me to a dark night so very long ago.
I shuddered visibly, rubbing my arms while I glanced over my shoulder, certain I would find him there.
The silence and empty space were only interrupted by the sharp sound of a vehicle’s alarm. A faint aroma of warm leather and musk caressed the air, feeding the electric sensations. Even with the full minute that had passed, Golden wasn’t moving.
A lump had already formed in my throat, but I still refused to fall prey to the fear, taking two long strides toward the trashcan and pressing my foot on the lever.
When the lid flipped open, I swallowed before peering inside.
There were two empty water bottles and an orange juice carton along with a banana peel just like I’d left that morning.
But there was also a plum pit nestled on several crumpled pieces of paper towel. With my breath hitching, I glanced over my shoulder once again, the destination my fruit bowl.
I had to have everything just so. Others might call my twisted illness being anal retentive. Whatever the designation, towels had to be just so. Cans in the cabinet. Labels facing a certain way. Fruit just so inside a bowl.
A plum had been plucked from the bowl without rearranging the other fruits.
If that wasn’t strange enough, Golden Angel’s reaction was.
She was upset, as if she’d missed something while being gone for the day.
Or had missed someone.
I took another deep breath, slinking back into the living room. First, I made certain the front double lock was engaged before grabbing the weapon from my pack. Making certain it was armed, I held it in both hands as I moved around the apartment. My tiny apartment.
My fur baby’s picture caught my attention. The only one I had out in the open, I was drawn to where it was positioned on the bookshelf. In the same place that it had been since the last time I’d dusted, there was no reason to believe anyone had touched the frame.
But something told me a ghost had wanted to remember. “What are you doing, girl? He’s dead.”
While I sensed no one was hiding, I’d learned from my father to never take a single chance or not follow my instinct. That was how I would get myself killed.
There was no one in the space, including hiding in the crammed full closets. Yet I could feel him. His presence. The weight of his aftershave.
Or you’re losing your mind.
The scent was a different fragrance but still musky, the barely there hint of sandalwood bringing one too many memories.
Frustrated at not finding anything, I returned to the living room.
When I glanced toward my makeshift artist’s table, my pulse surged all over again.
The just-so requirements included the drawings.
They might look as if they were scattered everywhere, but I called the mess controlled chaos.
I knew exactly what order they were supposed to be in.
And they weren’t. I picked up the stack, gasping when a sketch floated free.
The single one I’d drawn from my memory of Kazimir.
Think. You need to think. What if someone else had been searching for Kazimir? That was possible, more so than bringing a dead man back to life.
I’d sketched his face a little over a year before. Until then, I’d tried very hard to forget him.
Yet there he was, his eyes reflecting the last time he’d looked into mine. With my body shaking, I looked away, unable to take the emotions surrounding the memories. This wasn’t enough, just like what I’d seen at the event wasn’t.
Now I was angry.
With him. With myself.
With my father.
With the fucking life I’d been born into, but rage was a luxury I couldn’t afford.
Whoever had been inside my apartment knew the connection had been stronger than I’d led anyone to believe.
I raced into my bedroom, glancing at the perimeter. I could swear the scent of him was even stronger. After searching the room and the closet and finding nothing missing, I turned in a full circle.
Still cursing at myself, I yanked open my dresser drawer.
If I wasn’t so anal, maybe I could fall asleep without thinking Kazimir was hiding somewhere in the apartment. Why? Because my favorite purple thong, the one I’d placed directly on top of my freshly washed lingerie so I wouldn’t forget to pack it was missing.
Golden had finally padded into my room and she was still on full alert, now sniffing like a hound dog. “You’re not helping.” I riffled through the drawer, not finding the panties, finishing by looking in my very empty laundry basket.
I slunk back into the room, forced to accept one tiny little thing.
The lacy undies were missing.