Chapter 23
Rafaela
He was alive.
My entire world shifted on its axis.
Again.
The kiss was a powerful moment, my entire body tingling like a ticking timebomb. A huge part of me didn’t want to kiss him back, but it would seem I was no longer in control of any aspect of my body.
Or my lips.
Or my mind, for God’s sake.
Kazimir pulled me closer; even standing, the crushing weight and heat created a tremendous pool of wetness between my legs. With my core throbbing, the temperature well over a thousand degrees, breathing was an impossibility.
His huge hand slipped under my hair, his muscular fingers tightening around my neck. I was going nowhere. Yes, a part of me wanted to push him away, to tell him I didn’t need him, but the attraction was real and raw, painful and amazing.
The way his tongue dominated mine was just as amazing as the moment itself.
He tasted of liquor and peppermint, the combination intoxicating.
I found myself enjoying his passion, even sliding my hand over his shoulder.
The first feel of his thick hair was another reminder of the intensity of what we’d shared.
He wasn’t interested in letting go, holding me as if he never planned on doing so. Finally, I pressed both hands against his chest, fighting with myself to shut down the crazy desire. When our lips parted, I felt a huge sense of loss. Struggling to breathe, I licked my bottom lip.
Trying to regain focus while he kept his head lowered, every rattled breath he took a reminder just how electric our connection was.
“Kazimir. We can’t.”
“Why?”
“Because you don’t know me any longer.”
His chuckle was laced with the same hunger. The same need to control me. “I know all I need.”
While he tilted his head, obviously unhappy I’d dared fight him, he took a step away, allowing me some breathing room.
There was no way to ignore him or the emotions running deep, the hunger turning my blood into molten lava.
I felt lightheaded, consumed by guilt for so many things. Plus, there was anger, so much rage that he’d suddenly made a reappearance in my life. Why now? To derail me? To stop me from moving forward?
With dozens of questions running through my mind and none of them finding enough coherence to leave my lips, all I could do was stand and stare at him while the entire club around me circled as if we were on a tilt-a-whirl ride.
My pulse had skyrocketed, tiny beads of perspiration tickling my upper lips and an entire string running down my back.
Kazimir also appeared smug, more so than before.
Perhaps because he’d returned to full control of his life.
The dangerous aura I’d experienced before was now on steroids.
From his clothes to his facial expressions, and even the scent of his expensive aftershave, wealth and power oozed from his pores.
“How? When? Why now?” I couldn’t even tell if he’d heard me because of the intensity of his dark stare.
His eyes were like pools of glass, much icier than before. He also appeared hardened, even angry with me. For what? I’d done nothing.
Not really.
Not because I’d wanted to.
Panic settled in, enough so Golden started whining. To ground myself, I pressed my hand against her head, but even the feel of her fur wasn’t helping in the least.
“We will talk, malen’kiy tselitel’.”
Little healer. “Don’t call me that, Kazimir. I’m not that girl any longer. I couldn’t even heal myself. I don’t know what I expected, but not you showing up out of the blue. Not hiding in plain sight at my spring fashion show. Why were you in my apartment?”
He was the master of many things, including hiding all his emotions. There was no twitch, no indication that my words bothered him in the least. He was the coldest man on the outside I knew and all the memories I’d had seemed to fade.
“I wanted to ensure you were alright.”
God, I wanted to scream at him. How could I be alright?
His answer meant he was still hiding things from me.
Plus, his expression said otherwise. “As you can see, I’m perfectly fine.
But I can’t do this. Not again. I was told you were dead.
I heard the gunshots. I was there after you left.
I overheard guards talking about what… About what they did. Yet here you are.”
I could feel my body swaying, beginning to overheat. I couldn’t take this. I had to find a way out, to get the hell away from him to figure this all out.
Claustrophobia clouded my vision as another wave of anger shut down my heart.
“I’m not dead.”
The three little words were said with no emotion.
Did the man actually think they would make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside?
I glanced at my fur baby and back to him.
“I’m glad you aren’t. Now do me a favor and get the hell out of my life.
” With a tight hold on the leash and no way to get past Kazimir’s huge hulking body, I turned toward the crowd and where I knew the bathrooms were located, pushing and shoving my way through.
By the time I made it to the restrooms, I was fighting tears. After throwing a look over my shoulder, I managed a deep breath.
He wasn’t following.
I pushed my way inside, horrified that I’d become so emotional.
The women inside stared at me as if I was losing my mind.
Maybe I was. When a girl came out of the handicapped stall, I rushed toward it, needing just a few minutes to myself.
My God. I’d prided myself that was so much stronger than this and one look and poof, I lost my resolve.
Once safely locked behind a closed door, I tried to keep from laughing. I’d never figured my life would suddenly take such a raw turn.
Golden sat on her haunches, staring up at me as if her mommy was losing her mind. That had already occurred a long time before.
At least when I put my hand on her head this time, the feeling was grounding.
Three, maybe four minutes passed without a single interruption. Thank God for small favors.
But a noise drew my attention. Women outside sounded miffed. I braced myself for Kazimir to come busting into the bathroom. I was ready to launch into him if he did.
Seconds passed.
A full minute.
Then another group of even louder women descended on the bathroom.
Okay. He wasn’t trying to come get me. That was unexpected. I thought he was a man of action, taking what he wanted.
Another laugh popped to the surface. Well, I guess it was good to know I didn’t mean anything after all. Maybe he was doing nothing more than tying up loose ends.
I cracked the door, peering out like some kid.
He wasn’t there.
Wait. Was I honestly disappointed that he hadn’t barged into the women’s restroom like some barbarian?
Another laugh caused the women to glance in my direction. At least as usual, huge smiles broke out on their faces in seeing Golden Angel.
“Oh, what a cutie. Am I allowed to touch him?” When the girl asked, I nodded.
“This is Golden Angel.” My emotional support animal. My poor baby would get a complex because right now she wasn’t able to help with the anxiety, and I had a feeling she knew it.
“What a sweetie,” another woman said.
“You didn’t happen to notice if there was a huge man standing outside. About six foot five, muscles to die for. In a gorgeous deep charcoal suit and vivid purple tie? Dark, wavy hair and a beard you just long to run your fingers through?”
The girls looked at each other. “No, but if you’re not interested, I’ll take him.”
While we all laughed, I knew I couldn’t stay in the bathroom forever. With a single peek outside the door, I realized I was all alone. Wait a minute. He’d gone to all the trouble to break into my apartment, then find me here, only to give up that easily? Not a chance in hell.
What was he up to? The man didn’t take no for an answer and at this point, I wasn’t able to push him away effectively.
Not without causing a scene.
Another sign caught my attention. Sortie.
Exit in French.
The door leading to the outside and away from him. Hmm… If he wanted to play games with me, why not turn the tables?
I had no doubt he’d been inside my apartment, but with being there, I stood a much better chance of facing him my way. Not inside a club.
So I made the decision, glancing over my shoulder once again before nonchalantly slipping the Beretta into my hand. After a deep breath, I pressed my hand on the latch, guiding Golden outside.
The pull on the leash was all the advance notice I needed to know what I was about to face.
Kazimir stood leaning against a dark vehicle, his arms folded and his legs crossed as if he was perfectly comfortable.
With the smug look on his face, I realized he wasn’t going to allow me to go without a fight. However, I wasn’t that girl any longer. The one who could fall madly in love. I’d realized the danger I’d placed myself in.
So instead of falling prey to his charm, I altered the situation. My way. I leveled the barrel of the gun in his direction, all the while wondering if I had the courage to pull the trigger.
He seemed thoroughly amused, even throwing his arms in the air as if a man like him would surrender. “I see you’ve graduated from a knife to a gun. To what do I owe this honor?”
“You lied to me. To everyone.”
“About?”
“You being dead. About you coming back for me.”
“Come now,” he said as he flashed what could only be called a million-dollar smile.
Why did he need to be so handsome? Why were my lips feeling the aftereffect of his rough kiss?
And why was my body craving even more? “I didn’t lie about being dead because here I am.
People assumed I was dead and I had no choice in the matter.
As far as coming back for you, I told you that you belonged to me.
I never lie. Here I am to lay claim to my possession. ”
I knew he was tossing out the words to annoy me and it worked. “I’m no one’s possession. I broke the tether years ago.”
“I’m glad you did. Now, we need to talk.”