Chapter 5
Five
S he left again. Just like she had the first time.
Trevor sat on the bench, watching as Grace hurried around the bend and out of sight.
No explanation, no idea when they might see each other again, just a quick getaway, leaving him staring after her, wishing she would come back. He didn’t like that position; he’d spent too much time in it.
But she denied that her friend Claire had meant more to her than he had.
That made him feel good until he realized that it didn’t mean anything, because she’d broken up with him because of Claire.
He hadn’t realized. He’d known Claire liked him.
Known it before he and Grace got together, but Claire had never held any interest for him at all.
And he highly suspected that she saw him as a conquest and hadn’t been madly in love with him.
He could be wrong, but he knew how he acted when he really loved someone, and Claire had given off more of a competition vibe to him anyway.
But he didn’t know anything about women. Other than they broke your heart and left without caring .
It wasn’t that he put every woman in that position, but that was what had happened to him with Grace anyway.
She’s still beautiful to him. Her long hair blowing in the wind, her eyes just as clear blue as they had always been, and while she didn’t have the stick straightness of her teenage years, she looked like she was athletic and healthy.
Still not interested in him. That was the conclusion he came to. That she hadn’t wanted him anymore and hadn’t figured out how to tell him. One would think he would get the memo and be okay with it. Realize that some things just weren’t meant to be. And Grace and him were one of those things.
He pushed off the bench, no longer interested in enjoying the beauty of the garden, although he did take one last glance at the tulips as he walked away from them.
They were gorgeous, so pretty, and so faithful.
Year after year, they came up and bloomed with dependability no matter what was going on around them.
Whether the winter had been brutal or better than usual.
Whether the spring was rainy or sunny or something in between.
They were there. That’s what he had wanted.
Someone who was going to be there for him, no matter what.
He didn’t know why he’d always been so stuck on Grace.
It was obvious that she wasn’t going to be there for him.
She couldn’t stick around long enough to have a conversation with him.
Long enough for him to challenge her on her no, because she had thought more of Claire than she had Trevor.
Otherwise, she wouldn’t have broken up with him.
And he would have left it at that, except with all her faults, there was one fault that Grace did not have. She was not a liar.
He left the garden and walked by the first house on the street, where Homer and Skyler lived with their four children.
His mother had passed away the year before, and the whole town had taken it rather hard.
Everyone had good memories of Mrs. Aiken, but Skyler, Homer’s wife, was a sweet lady who slid into the role of the heart of Raspberry Ridge with little effort.
“Nice day.” He nodded as he passed their porch, where Skyler sat with three other ladies, open Bibles on their knees. Bible study must have commenced since he had walked to the garden.
“It sure is,” Skyler said, smiling at him and nodding. The other ladies greeted him as well, and he figured they were doing Bible study while her kids were in school. Interesting the things he didn’t know, for as much time as he spent around town.
They didn’t do more than say a few words to him about the weather, and he didn’t stop.
With this many unmarried women in Raspberry Ridge, he couldn’t believe his dad hadn’t been able to find someone.
Probably it was because of what Trevor had figured earlier, and that was that he was a one-woman man and would never love anyone but Trevor’s mother.
But none of that was what he really wanted to think about.
He’d seen Grace. For the first time in more than a decade, he’d seen the woman he couldn’t forget.
It was crazy, because he knew her as a teenager.
She was different. She had to change, just as he had.
He certainly wasn’t the boy that he used to be.
Still, he hadn’t felt that soul-deep rightness in more than a decade, and it was all he could do to not ask his dad about her immediately when he walked in the door.
But he was preoccupied and seemed to be tidying up.
Tidying up was something his mom had done. It was odd to see his dad with the broom and dustpan.
“I can help you with that,” he said, taking the dustpan and holding it so his dad could sweep the pile of dirt that he’d gathered up onto it.
“Thanks. Considering you made half of this, it’s only fitting that you should help clean it up.”
He had no idea when the last time his dad swept was, but he refrained from commenting.
Unfortunately, he didn’t refrain from saying the next thing. “You didn’t tell me that Grace Honea was back in town.”
“That’s not her last name anymore, and I didn’t know it.”
“You mean you didn’t hear it when you went to Bible study this morning?” That was where his dad got all of the juicy gossip.
He shouldn’t think that. He knew that they really did study the Bible, but they also shared what was going on in their lives, which was basically what was going on in Raspberry Ridge.
“Come to think of it, maybe I did,” his dad said, making Trevor want to strangle him. Surely his dad knew he would have been interested in that information. Maybe he had, but it wasn’t exactly something that came up easily in conversation.
“Pastor Irving said something about it.” His dad scratched his head and then held his hand out for the dustpan. Trevor gave it over without thinking about it.
“I can’t believe you didn’t think to tell me.”
“Why would I do that?” his dad asked, and Trevor couldn’t tell whether he was playing innocent, or whether he really didn’t know. After all, how many people spent twelve years mooning over their high school girlfriend?
“I guess… Just… If you hear anything else about her, I’d like to know.” There. He might have shown his hand to his dad, but it wasn’t like he was confessing undying love for her or anything. He really was curious. Where had she been? What was she doing? Would she have to stay?
He shook his head at that last one. She was married. Most likely happily married and living in Indianapolis. That was why he hadn’t tried to contact her.
“Never mind. I don’t need to hear anything.”
Maybe it was his tone, or maybe it was his words, but his dad paused with the dustpan hovering over the garbage can.
“Why not? You just said you did. That’s an awful short span to be changing your mind.”
“She’s married. And I don’t need to know.”
“Actually, I’m not sure she is.” His dad stared down at the garbage can before dumping the contents of the dustpan in and tapping it gently on the edge. He allowed the lid to the can to fall back down and then walked over to put the broom behind the pantry door where he kept it.
“Wait. What? You don’t think she’s married?
” Had he heard wrong? Had he been thinking she was married all these years when she actually wasn’t?
He couldn’t believe it. Surely he hadn’t been that wrong.
He was sure he had heard she was married.
He’d seen her in Indianapolis with a ring on her finger laughing with a man at an outside table at some swanky restaurant.
Not that he had been stalking her or anything, he just…asked a few qu estions, made a few inquiries here and there, and then got a little lucky when he was in Indianapolis.
She’d looked so happy. So beautiful. So completely on top of the world, and that wasn’t the way she had been when she was with him.
Or at least, maybe she had been happy, but she had seemed so…
successful. Whatever. He couldn’t push into that world and didn’t want to.
She was married; she was off limits. He had never tried to find her again.
“I don’t know. Just from what they were saying at Bible study today, I got the impression that she wasn’t.” His dad finally answered him after several minutes of silence.
“I see. I guess I could ask around.”
“I take it you’re interested?”
“No. I’m not.” That wasn’t a lie. He said it, feeling like he was telling the truth.
What they had was long over. Sure, he carried a torch in his heart for his high school flame, but the woman that the girl had become was not someone he knew.
And he definitely was not interested in someone who was married or someone who was separated.
There needed to be a finality, and even then, he wasn’t necessarily interested in someone who got divorced just because she wasn’t happy in her marriage.
The only reason God gave for divorce was adultery. Otherwise, it was wrong.
Plus, there were an awful lot of secrets and tragedy sitting between Grace and him.
Sometimes he forgot about it, because he pushed it out of his mind, but the fact remained that Grace most likely wanted to have nothing to do with him.
And if he was smart, he would feel the same.
He would want nothing to do with her either.
There were too many things that were buried that would get exposed, and that was not a wise trail.
Definitely not one he wanted to go down.