Chapter Eight #2
“When the world expects you to be a monster, they won’t accept your innocence—your softness.
” It was by far the most honest I’d been with anyone in quite some time.
It turned out that nearly three quarters of a century being taught not to show weakness could really affect someone.
“Plus, I would have had to face the fact that someone was letting me take the fall. Someone I was close to. I’d assumed it was my father, especially with how little he seemed to care when he came to see me after you.
I think a part of me thought of Talon too.
Maybe that was the real reason I said what I did to you. ”
Murder jumped up on the bed then, a soft purr emanating from her as she walked slowly up my back. Clearly, she wasn’t as smart as I thought. I hissed out in pain as one of her tiny paws pressed into the skin near the wound, and Tershetta quickly shooed her away.
“I stole this from your cupboard earlier. Take a drink.”
I watched curiously as she uncorked my last bottle of whiskey, the amber liquid swishing against the clear glass.
Her dark eyes landed on my lips, watching as she pressed the bottle to my mouth.
Curious, I parted my lips and slipped out my tongue, feeling immediately disappointed when she didn’t show any noticeable reaction.
I took two heavy pulls, feeling it drip from my mouth, making a mess of my sheets.
“Now be a good boy and stay still.” I chuckled, watching as her smile came and went.
Then, as if to make up for our oddly comfortable moment, she fucking stabbed me.
I shrieked, not ready for the deep prick and strange pull of my skin.
Tershetta brought her hand down, smacking me upside the head and stunning me into stillness. “I said don’t move!”
“What in the stars are you doing to me?”
“I’m stitching your skin back together! Do you want to die from blood loss or infection?”
“No!”
“Then shut up and sit still!”
I remained silent after that, willing myself not to be bothered by the way she yanked on the edges of my wound.
It burned and ached, making my body shake and nausea crawl up my throat, but I’d been through worse.
Slowly, she tugged out the leaves, each new stitch sealing up my skin.
I thought of Talon, how he’d fought me as if I was what had been standing in his way of Tershetta.
Pinching my eyes closed, I let myself ruin the moment.
“We’re a broken group, Tershetta.”
Her fingers stilled, nails gently grazing my back. I nearly hummed in pleasure at the feel. Instead, I focused.
“Core families aren’t like yours. I’m sure you know that.
Talon…he was forced to suffer for seventy years.
You can’t possibly imagine what it’s like to never feel love.
To know without a doubt that your parents loathe you entirely.
We aren’t given space to act like children and mock our siblings.
Our compliance is a requirement. None of us are awarded the peace of making our own choices.
We don’t even speak at dinner most of the time. ”
I thought of how Celeste had once explained the mocking to me.
How she had felt like it allowed her to get her frustration out while still holding onto the feeling of when nothing had gone wrong in their family.
She’d said they did it before their father was hurt, and it began again as she grew more and more angry at the system that held her hostage.
Perhaps it did hold eadi hostage—it undoubtedly kept them poor, starving, and sick.
But, in a strange way, it held us in chains too.
“I’m not justifying what Talon did. I’m not stupid enough to believe he deserves any bit of redemption after killing both of your families. But…well, I do want to ask you to spare him.”
Interestingly enough, she didn’t immediately yell. Instead, she let her breathing grow loud, her fingers slowly curving into a fist against my back. I knew she’d be angry, but couldn’t she see what I meant? Didn’t she somewhat understand my thoughts?
Maybe I was asking for too much. She’d suffered far worse than I had in many ways. Who was I to beg her for forgiveness for the man who had caused quite a bit of that suffering?
But it was Talon. Talon, who—despite hating me for reasons unknown—was like a brother to me. We’d grown up side by side, laughing and drinking and avoiding our fathers. How could I give up on him?
“You’re an idiot if you think I won’t kill Talon Zade the moment I see him next.
” I could tell there was more she wanted to say, but her words already sounded as if they came from between clenched teeth, and I wasn’t willing to push.
It seemed she wouldn’t need the shove though.
“You are selfish and spoiled and you can’t possibly understand what the world is like outside of the bubble you were raised in. ”
Again, she began stitching, being firmer this time. I wished I could say something that would help her understand, but maybe we’d never really get one another. We were too different. Opposite in every way.
Just when I resigned myself to giving up—so unlike me—Tershetta spoke again.
“I won’t pretend like your lives were easy.
I’m not that stubborn. Growing up like you did had to have been heinous, and I don’t envy your upbringing.
Sometimes, even in academy, I’d think about how awful it must have been to never be shown love and affection.
But what Talon did? That’s unspeakable. Forgiveness and second chances aren’t an option.
One would assume that you’d agree after all that he did to you. ”
She poured more of the whiskey on my back, but I held in the groan from the burn, if only to not let her win.
“What, exactly, did he do to me? Blame me? I’m pretty sure he thinks I did far worse. And it’s not like I didn’t do part of what he was accusing me of.” My voice was a deep, guttural growl, pain lacing each word until I choked on it.