Chapter Thirty-Eight
Azazel
“Quinn told me that one of their servants slit their own throat in his kitchen. I can’t stop having nightmares about doing the same thing to myself.”
Sweat dripped down my temples, my body aching as we worked to salvage two cottages for the others.
Desi had brought us an assortment of supplies, but just clearing out the debris had been tough work, especially when Nova and I were too weak to do much with our magic. As we now worked to secure the structures, I could feel my bones protesting.
To keep my mind off the pain, I began catching everyone up on what was going on.
“The night you all visited me in my cell, I was approached by the leader of the rebel forces,” I said, sipping on water between sentences.
Nova watched me from the corner of her eye as she worked, Death twirling between her legs.
The others stared openly at me, pausing to listen.
“Her name is Maitoza. She has both eadi and shaytan within her ranks, including elites.”
“Elites?” Quinn asked, raising his brows as he leaned against a plank of wood.
I nodded, hammering the nail into the wood I was replacing on what would become Priya and Zura’s cottage.
“As far as I’m aware, not many of the rebels possess magic, but it is enough that it helps give them a fighting chance.
She wanted me specifically because she wanted her wards and cloaks strengthened.
That, and she also needed someone who could kill core family members. ”
I let my words sink in, six sets of eyes on me as I dropped the hammer and leaned against the nearly finished wall.
Why was it so hard for me to admit this truth?
Was it because I didn’t believe I deserved to be absolved?
My eyes flicked to Nova, who was already staring at me with a sad smile and half-lidded eyes.
“That night, I wasn’t honest with you all. I didn’t attack Castle Zade. I didn’t kill anyone other than Captain Zade. But…well, I think you know why I did that.”
Though Zura had no clue as to why I’d do such a thing, she didn’t seem to care, her head tilting as she listened and her eyes still soft. Priya, on the other hand, stared at me with her upper lip lifted. For his part, Cal ate a seventh sandwich as he leaned against a large rock.
“Talon was the one who attacked his and Nova’s families.” Nova flinched at my words, but it was Pri who burst.
“And you didn’t think to explain that to us?
You didn’t think we had a right to know who killed one of our best friends?
” She was furious, her cheeks red and her body shaking.
I waited to see if she’d throw a brick at me, or maybe charge my way.
All she did though was stare. Stare and stare and stare, her eyes slowly watering.
“I’m sorry. I wasn’t sure who did it at first, and I didn’t want you all getting dragged down with me. When I found out it was Talon, I already couldn’t speak to you all. Plus, what would it have helped? Would it bring Dove back? Would it bring Nova’s family back?”
Priya scoffed, rolling her entire head before pointing at Nova to her left. “Her family? She’s the entire reason all of this happened! She pushed Talon to his limit! She seduced him and tore him from his path while he was already vulnerable! It’s her fault Dove is fucking dead!”
Balling my fists, I took a step towards Priya, but Cal moved into my path. He faced Pri, his arms raised as he said, “You know that isn’t true. Nova was always at a disadvantage. We all watched as Talon chased her, and we can’t blame her for what he did when he got her.”
From my periphery, I caught sight of Zura wrapping her arms around Nova, the two of them sitting on the dry grass against Cal and Quinn’s cottage, Desi by their side.
“And why did he feel the need to slaughter their families? Huh?” Priya approached us, my teeth grinding with every one of her strides my way.
I stepped into Cal, his arm catching me and forcing me to still.
“Oh, probably for her! Of course it all comes back to her! If Az would have just let Dove and I kill her that first night in the barracks, then none of this would have happened!”
“You don’t know anything! Nova just saved your fucking life and you want to sit there and blame her for Talon’s actions? For the choices he made all on his own? Fuck you, Priya!” I was shouting, my chest shoving into Cal’s shoulder as I pointed at Priya.
“Fuck you, Az! Maybe if you thought with your head instead of your cock, you’d see what all of us do! She’s a poison!”
“Oh shut up, Pri!” Cal said.
I spoke over him, rage coating my words. “I swear to the stars, Priya, I will—”
“Enough!” Nova shouted, standing. We all went silent, our eyes flicking towards Nova as she slowly walked our way.
Priya looked like she might pounce, her jaw flexing and eyes glaring.
Quinn took up the space behind her, as if readying for a fight.
Zura and Desi did the same for Nova, tracking her from behind.
“Do you want to know the truth? Talon did do it for me. He said he needed to slaughter my family—the only people I loved—so that I could stop being held back and reach my potential. He killed his own sister and father so that I wouldn’t be alone in my grief.
Or so he said. Regardless, it makes no difference.
You want to blame me? Fine! I don’t care.
But do it silently, because I don’t have time to deal with your petty, pointless arguing.
We are about to be in a war, and if you have any sense at all, then you’ll join the rebellion and fight alongside your best friend so that we can all live in a better world.
So that everything doesn’t burn to ash around us! Now shut the fuck up and get to work!”
With that, Nova turned around, swept up a hammer, and walked around Caleb and Quinn’s cottage, effectively ending the conversation. Priya stared open-mouthed as Desi and Zura followed Nova, the three of them disappearing around the cottage.
“Well, damn. She told you,” Caleb said, chuckling.
Priya seemed to defrost, her face slackening as she looked our way. I could see it in her eyes, the exhaustion. The pain. Sighing, I patted Cal on the shoulder and walked towards Pri, grabbing her arms.
“I know it hurts. Trust me, I know. But blaming Nova won’t absolve any of us, and it definitely won’t somehow make sense of what Talon did. All we can do now is push forward.” Priya deflated, nodding softly before letting her forehead hit my chest. I patted her head, my anger simmering. “Pri?”
“What?”
“Don’t you ever talk about Nova like that again.
” With that, I passed her to Quinn, pivoting to follow Nova.
None of my friends said anything, though I heard the soft sound of Priya’s cries as rubble crunched beneath my boots.
As I rounded the corner, I heard the women’s voices, the conversation hushed.
“I’m scared for my family,” Zura said, her voice cracking.
“I know. I’m sorry I put you in this position,” Nova said, tone soft. I pressed my back to the wall, listening intently. “Do you want me to take you home before anyone realizes you’re gone?”
A few moments passed before Zura responded, though her words were firm when they came. “I believe in a world where my mom and dad could’ve been happy. I want to fight for that world.”
With that, I sagged, letting my back slowly slide down the wood until I hit the ground softly. We’d all fight for that world, and I feared most of us would never see it.