Chapter Forty-Seven
EMERY
IT STAYS DARK in the cabin for a long time after the storm.
I sleep until eleven o’clock the next morning, and Reid shows no signs of getting out of bed.
It’s just as well. Yesterday was traumatic—a total mindfuck.
Reid didn’t say much on the way home. We said our goodbyes to Kayla and left as soon as the EMTs cleared me.
We took a silent shower when we got home—me to wash off the scent of smoke, and Reid to warm up.
Then we slipped into bed without even so much as a bowl of cereal for dinner.
I lie awake for a long time imagining Tate, the man I’ve come to know as a brother to Reid, lying on a hard cot in a jail cell.
It doesn’t make sense to me. Tate might’ve been tough sometimes, but a drug runner?
My stomach is in knots over the fact that I made this discovery in the marsh, and had I not, Reid would never have known what was going on.
He’d never have guessed Tate was being dishonest and putting everyone in danger.
I stirred the pot and look what happened.
Sometimes I wonder if it’s better to just let the bad guys get away with it. Let karma step in.
When I can’t lie still anymore, I slip out to the kitchen and start the coffee pot.
It’s still pitch black in the house. I probably can’t remove the plywood sheets on my own, but I can at least open the hurricane shutters.
I slip on some sneakers and step outside while the coffee brews.
When I return inside, he’s awake, sitting on the couch and staring into space.
“Hey,” I say softly, sitting next to him.
“Hi,” he rasps, but he doesn’t look at me.
“Want some coffee?”
Reid shakes his head. “No. I don’t think so.”
“Okay. Are you okay?” I shift closer, unsure if he wants the comfort of my touch or his space.
“Not really, Emery.” His tone is clipped and it startles me.
I move away, standing. “Okay, sorry. I’ll just…leave you alone.”
I start to walk away and he catches my hand. “I’m sorry. It’s not your fault. I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”
I sit back down and keep my distance. “Thank you. Yesterday was pretty terrible for me too, you know?”
At this, his face falls. “Of course it was. I’m so sorry.” He pulls me to him. “Are you okay?”
“Knowing Atlas is gone…yes. But I don’t know about staying here now. I doubt he was working alone. Maybe we should just start over somewhere new.” I shrug.
Reid’s gaze darts to mine. “I can’t. I’ll be here cleaning up Tate’s mess for a long while.” He sounds defeated and it pulls my chest tight.
I sigh and reach for his hand. “Then, I guess I’ll be here too.” I pause, debating how to bring up the next thing. Reid’s on edge. He’s not going to like it. I decide the best course of action is just to lay it out in the open. “I think… I need to go home for a while, though. To New Jersey.”
He turns sharply, devastation etched on his features. “Why? Because of all this? I guess I can’t blame you after last night.”
“Because if I’m going to make a big move, I need to tie things up there. I need to pack up my townhouse and resign from my job. Talk to my family. Now seems like a good time.”
Make sure this is really what I want.
I shrug helplessly.
“But your car isn’t fixed.” Reid moves closer to me.
“I was hoping you’d drive me to the airport,” I say softly, taking his hand in mine.
“You’ll be back though, right? This isn’t going to be one of those situations where you leave and change your mind?” His voice wavers, and I see how vulnerable he really is.
“I’ll be back, I promise. I want to do this right.”
Reid nods. “Okay. How long?”
I let out a puff of air. “I’m not sure. A few days? Maybe a week?”
“A week,” he repeats, rolling his lips over his teeth in thought. “Okay.”
“OH MY GOD, I missed you so much!” Lena shrieks when I slide into the passenger seat of her minivan. She throws her arms around me instead of pulling away from the curb, causing angry Philadelphia drivers to honk at her. She pulls away, holding a hand out her window. “I’m going, I’m going, okay?”
Once she successfully merges, I relax into my seat and sigh. “Home sweet home.”
Lena glances over, grinning wickedly. “Did you miss us?”
“You? Always. Everyone else? Meh,” I say, a smile tugging at my lips.
“So…what’s the reason for this visit? Sabbatical isn’t over yet. Are you done with South Carolina?” Lena merges onto I-95 with the practiced ease of a northerner in a metropolitan area, and I marvel. Just add that to the list of things I haven’t done in months that would probably scare me now.
“Quite the opposite actually.” I pause, dragging my lip between my teeth. “I guess Alan didn’t tell you?”
“Tell me what?” Lena frowns. “Don’t tell me you’re leaving me for good.”
“For now. Coastal Carolina offered me a full-time research position managing interns out of Tidehaven. It’s an opportunity I can’t pass up.” I hold my breath, waiting for her to reply.
She glances quickly at me then back to the road, since you can’t be too careful with Philly traffic, but she’s smiling. “That’s really great, Em. You’ve been so bored with academia. This is just what you need.”
I smile, reaching for her hand and giving it a quick squeeze. “Thank you.”
“I’m going to miss the hell out of you though,” she grumbles. “Our department is like all men.”
I laugh. “I’ll miss you too. And hey, you have Tina!” I remind her of our sweet secretary in her late forties with grown kids.
“It’s not the same,” Lena pouts. “But I guess I can’t blame you for leaving. I wouldn’t want to leave that hot ass rock of a man either.”
At the mention of Reid my stomach flutters. “There’s just a few things I have left to do.”
TELLING ALAN WAS the easy part—I knew it would be.
But being the professional that he is, he wouldn’t accept my formal resignation until I’ve had the opportunity to meet with Coastal Carolina.
In the craziness with the hurricane, we haven’t had a chance to get a meeting on the calendar yet.
I know he’s right—even though I’ve made the decision in my mind to stay, I need to make sure it makes professional sense for me.
I’m pretty sure it will. And even if it doesn’t, I am not leaving Reid.
I already miss him terribly and it’s been twenty-four hours. I’m holding onto that as I knock on the front door to the townhouse I once shared with Jason. I don’t feel right walking in on him on a Saturday morning without warning.
I knock softly, and as soon as I hear the pattern of footsteps, my heart jumps to my throat.
Then I hear voices—two of them. Before I can turn away, the door swings open.
There stands Jason, his hair disheveled from sleep, wearing a tight-fitting T-shirt and the pajama pants I got him last Christmas.
He’s not alone. A petite brunette stands at his side, her purse over her shoulder like she was just leaving.
“Emery.” Jason’s voice is hoarse but laced with surprise. “Hi.”
“Hi,” I say, waiting for him to say more.
“This is Brea.” He gestures to the woman sizing me up. She’s cute. Her brown hair is curly and wild, and she has large almond-shaped eyes and a dimple on her right cheek.
“Hi,” I murmur, flicking my gaze back to Jason.
“It’s nice to meet you, Emery.” Brea smiles, then standing on her tiptoes, she pecks Jason on the mouth. “I’ll see you tonight.” She scoots around me and waves. Together we watch her go.
“Do you want to come in?” Jason asks even though it’s obvious that’s why I’m here.
“Sure.” I step inside and I’m floored to see the place is spotless.
Not so much as a beer bottle or a takeout container.
A pair of women’s shoes that aren’t mine sit by the back door.
I vaguely wonder what she must think—staying here with the man she’s dating when his ex-girlfriend hasn’t yet cleared out her things.
“Do you want some coffee?” Jason asks, moving into the kitchen. Before I can answer he takes two mugs down. He hands it to me with a splash of cream, the way I like it. I’m surprised he remembers.
“So, Brea seems nice,” I say, sitting at the table.
“Yeah. She is. It’s new…” He lets his voice drop. “I can end it if that’s why you’re here.”
“What? No.” I shake my head. “Don’t do that.”
“Okay…” Jason pulls the chair out next to me and sits down. “Listen, Em, I was terrible to you. I’m so sorry.”
I nod, offering him a tight smile. “It’s okay.”
“It’s really not though. I should have come after you. Stopped you from giving up on us.” Jason tries to reach for my hand, but I pull it back, unwilling to give him false hope.
“Jason, you don’t need to feel bad. We aren’t right for each other.
I came here to apologize to you about the way I left but also to tell you that I won’t be back.
” I force air out of my lungs, giving him a chance to digest. The truth is, I didn’t expect Jason to be here with a woman.
In fact, at noon on a Saturday, I expected him to still be in bed, or at the very least, playing video games on the couch.
I never expected him to have moved on and the truth is, I’m glad he did.
I felt absolutely nothing when I saw Brea kiss him and leave.
Not an ounce of jealousy. If anything, it made me anxious to get home to Reid.
“You won’t be back…” Jason repeats. “Ever?”
I take a deep breath. “I was offered a full-time position down there and I love what I’m doing. I decided to take it.”
“Wow. Okay.” Jason runs a hand over his jaw. “So, this is it then?”
I nod, biting my lip. “I came to collect what’s left of my things.” I pause. “But hey, you look like you’re doing great. This is good.”
Jason nods, the corner of his mouth upturning slightly. “Yeah. You’re right. This is good.”
“The sad truth is, we outgrew each other a long time ago.” For the first time since I arrived, I allow myself to meet his chocolate brown eyes.
“We did,” he says softly. Silence passes for a beat before he says, “Want help packing?”