Chapter 81
***Casey***
I’m sitting on my back porch swing sipping lemonade, my head
on Daddy’s shoulder. My bandaged ankle is resting on a chair, cushioned by a
pillow. It feels as if it has its own heart beating inside it. My nose perks up
at a scent on the wind—a scent that elicits that strange flutter in my tummy
and sends shivers down my spine. I look to my left and watch as Ethan enters
the backyard from the side of the house. I haven’t seen him in two weeks, and
my eyes delight at the sight. My brain goes mushy and my pussy twitches. He’s
even more gorgeous than I remember. If the other dudes are demi-gods, then Zeus
himself is standing before me. He’s holding a bouquet of gorgeous purple dendrobium
orchids, and a cup that looks suspiciously like a strawberry-banana smoothie.
Daddy squeezes my knee gently and turns to me.
“I’ll give you two some privacy.”
He nods at Ethan and makes his way inside.
“Hello, Casey.”
His voice is like Heaven. I let it flow through me,
breathing life into my dying soul. When his gaze drops to my ankle, anger blazes
in his eyes.
“Hello.”
He walks up the steps, removes his hat, and leans on the
support post.
“For you,” he says, handing me the flowers and the cup.
I place the flowers on the swing next to me and suck on the
straw sticking out of the cup. Yup, I was right.
“Thank you.”
“Are you in pain?”
Yes. There’s a hole in my heart, and it’s killing me
slowly. “A little. I’m hopped up on painkillers, though.”
“Is there anything I can do?”
“No, but thank you.”
“I’m here for you… if you need me.”
I need you. I need you more than I need air to breathe!
Just hold me and tell me that everything’s going to be okay. “Thanks,” I
say instead.
“Do you want to file a report?”
“I didn’t really get a good look at him. I don’t see what
good that would do.”
He nods then focuses on my eyes. I look away, unable to
withstand the intensity of his stare.
“How’ve you been, Casey?”
Horrible. I miss you so much I don’t even want to get out
of bed. “Good. Rusty wants to promote me to manager.”
“That’s good. Isn’t it?” He raises a brow.
“I don’t know. I’ve been working part-time so I could be
here with Daddy most of the day. Management means full-time hours.”
“But your dad’s been doing well, and you have Clara.”
“Yeah, and Clara’s great, but she was meant to help, not
replace me.”
“No one can replace you.”
I hold his stare, knowing he’s not talking about my father.
The hurt I find in his chocolate eyes forces me to look away again. In the next
instant, he’s on his knees next to me. He takes my hand, his eyes imploring.
“Casey, stop this.”
“Stop what?”
“Torturing me. Come back to me.”
Oh, God. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry! “No. Look, I
told you in the beginning I wasn’t looking for a relationship.”
“What do you call what we had?”
“It’s my fault. I let it go too far but… I’m not right for
you.”
“I miss you,” he says, his voice wrought with pain. “I die a
little more each day that I have to endure without you.”
Fuck. He just turned on the water works. I pull my hand away
from his and swipe at my tears.
“Stop it, Ethan. Just stop it. You need to move on and
forget about me. We’re too different. It would have never worked.”
“What are you talking about? I love you! You said you love
me.”
“Just because two people love each other doesn’t mean they
should be together.”
“That’s exactly what it means! Casey… I can’t live
without you.”
Oh, dear God, my heart. I can’t take this.
“You have to. You deserve better.”
“There’s no one better than you.”
“Yes, there is. You’ll see it now that I’m not in the way.”
“I don’t want anyone else!”
“Well…” I prepare myself to tell the biggest lie of my life.
“I don’t want you.”
That wasn’t even close to sounding believable. Anger returns
to his eyes and he pushes to his feet.
“That’s bullshit. You know it, and so do I. Something
happened at that barbecue, and I won’t rest until I find out what.”
“You should concentrate your energy on more important things.”
“Like what?”
“Like… Shae.”
His brows furrow in bewilderment.
“What the hell does she have to do with this?”
Apparently, she’s what you need. “I just think that
someone like her would be more suited to your needs.”
“You’re all I need, Casey. You and only you.”
With that proclamation, he places his hat on his head and
stomps down the steps. When he disappears around the corner, I allow my tears
to flow freely. If this is all for the best, why do I feel like a herd of wild
horses just stomped all over my chest?
“Moonbeam?”
“Daddy!”
He sits next to me and wraps his arms around me tightly.
“What happened?”
“I hurt him, Daddy. I didn’t mean to, I swear.”
“It’s all going to be okay.”
No. It’s not. It will never be okay. In time, he’ll move on,
and I’ll still be miserable without him. His mother was right; I was being
selfish. His happiness is what matters so I need to push him in the right
direction, no matter how much it kills me.