Chapter Nine #3
Draven turns his head and looks at me. I see his eyes soften for a fraction then they harden once more.
The king ignores me.
He puts down his fork and smooths the napkin in his lap as he clears his throat. “As I was saying, the wedding will take place on the summer solstice. I will be set to pass into the Afterealm after you are prepared to take over as king, shortly after the wedding.”
He points his fork at me. “Her peak fertility will dwindle as each month passes, do remember that as well. The longer you wait, the higher chance you risk remaining king.”
At some point in this conversation, I started to get extremely dizzy and now this dress starts to feel too tight. Vomit begins to work its way up my throat as the feeling that I am going to pass out gets stronger as the seconds tick by.
This is all too much. I do not want this.
I jolt upward, pushing my chair back so fast, it topples backwards and hits the floor with a bang. I do not look at Draven or the king as I step over the chair and run out of the room.
I still do not turn around as I snatch the door open and step out into the hall.
I start to run.
I don’t know where I’m going, but I run anyway. I collide with a worker in the hall, sending his tray crashing to the floor, but I don’t stop.
The door slams against the wall forcefully as I push through it. I look around and see that my legs took me straight to the garden, straight to fresh air.
I run as far into the garden as I can, stopping at a bench surrounded by flowers. I lean over and unzip the side of my dress, clutching the front so it does not fall open as I stop to catch my breath.
It seems that now is the time to admit that I am not coping well with any of this.
Looking around, I notice that I am standing by glowing flowers, swaying gently on their own. I close my eyes and listen to the bugs singing into the night air. It is peaceful out here. I take a deep breath, catching a familiar hint of jasmine.
When I open my eyes back up, I am surrounded by small bug-like creatures with wings. Except they are not bugs, they have very small bodies and big eyes. Similar to what I saw outside the carriage that day, but some of these are smaller.
One comes closer and lands on my shoulder, playing in my hair. Turning my head, I take a better look.
I have seen something like this before back at home in different story books and movies. They look like little pixies as they float in the air around me. They are an array of glowing colors with small wings that flutter almost faster than the eye can see.
More come up to me and start to play with my hair. They tickle me as they pass through it, making me laugh. I place my pointer finger into the air in front of me. One lands on my finger and I lift it up in front of my eyes.
“I wish I could grow wings like you so I can fly away from here.”
It just blinks back at me in response.
They all turn toward the darkness, letting out high-pitched screams as they fly away, leaving me alone. I sigh.
Shadows start to curl around my ankles, looking like they are almost caressing them. Draven steps out of the darkness, his hands in his pockets. He has a somber look settled over his features.
“They are scared of me. They always have been. People say the moon sprites come close to those they feel safe with. Those they know they can trust,” he says.
“They probably are just curious to see what I am,” I reply.
We stand there for a moment, staring at each other in the dark.
He moves toward me, reaching out his hand out like he wants to touch me, but he pulls it back to his side.
“I am sorry, little sun.”
“I just needed a moment. I felt like I was suffocating in there. Like I had no say in anything. Someone was talking about my entire life right in front of me and I had nothing to do with it.”
Draven nods in understanding.
“Why me? Why choose me, a human. I do not understand. You could have anyone in this kingdom that I am sure would love to be with you. Go choose one of them.”
I swear I see a flash of hurt in his eyes that leaves as quickly as it came.
“I do not want just anyone in the kingdom. Every female in Vryko only wants me for one thing and that is the crown I will eventually wear on my head. There is not a person around me who would not try to use me for their benefit.”
He shakes his head.
“Not one person that would want me just for me,” he admits.
A simple confession with enormous weight behind it. I would feel sorry for him if I was not so distraught right now.
He continues, changing the subject. “Everything my father does is a show of his hand. He has spent quite literally his entire lifetime creating a relationship with the humans. Creating peace between the two species that was once never there.”
“What a holy man he is,” I say sarcastically.
Draven steps closer to me. “I know my father well. He chose you as a symbol. A union between a vampire and a human turned vampire. A show of strength between the two species, to continue to keep peace among everyone. If the humans see that the Queen of Vryko was once a human herself, they will continue in their trust with us and uphold their end of the contracts my father has created.”
I take a step back from him. “So I am just a pawn in a game. Subjected to a life I have no control over.”
Draven steps forward. “I do not want you to feel this way and I am sorry. I will do whatever it takes for you to live a normal life.”
He brings his hand up to his chest, placing it over his heart.
“We do not have to actually be together. You can be with someone else, whoever you want. You can live the life you want and we can be together just for show when it is needed, if that will make you happy.”
I stand there and stare at him in disbelief. He would actually let me have a separate life from us if I wanted it.
But what he does not know is, I will never find love here. I cannot even love the person I have become.
“This will never be a normal life,” I say, staring at the ground.
He goes to speak again but I cut him off.
“I just need some space right now.”
He takes a step back, clearing his throat. “I understand. I will leave you alone. Let’s take a break from working on the case tonight. I would still like to see you tomorrow afternoon.” He pauses. “For training, of course.”
“Yes, of course. I will see you tomorrow.” I give him a tight smile.
He turns on his heels and walks back into the darkness, his shadows swallowing him completely.
I stand there in the garden clutching my dress up to my chest, utterly alone.