Chapter Five.
The last few weeks of school go by in a blur, everything feeling the same yet different, like what I’ve always known is slowly fading and the school no longer feels like a place I belong.
With graduation next week, the buzz through our senior class is electric, albeit mixed with hesitation about the new world we’re about to enter into.
Rumors flow around the school that Ben and Tree aren’t officially dating, but they’ve been seen together randomly, acting like they’re a couple anyways.
I don’t understand it but at least Ben and I are friends again, regardless of his situation with her.
Turns out, he never texted me back that night because his phone died, dispelling my fears that I’d been blocked.
It took two weeks, but I finally mustered up the courage to re-ask him in person what his relationship with Tree was and he answered the question without all the jealousy jokes.
“We’re not officially dating because I’m sick of her boundaries…
but we are friends with benefits.” Then, he awkwardly shrugged his shoulders and walked away.
I had no idea what that meant until I ran into Shirley after school, and she told me what friends with benefits entails.
It really upset me that he’s not even dating her but continues to sleep with her.
I don’t understand the point. Why mess around with someone if you don’t intend on being with them?
There’s no way a situation like that ends well, and Shirley agreed with me.
She also said Ben’s a typical guy and just wants to satisfy his sexual cravings, but I can’t see him like that. He’s always been my sweet, caring guy friend who would never need something like that.
We’ve been back to our old selves besides these few random incidents that made me question how I felt about him.
He’s flirted more openly with me on a few occasions, as well as other girls around school.
I don’t know if I like this new side of him.
His constant flirting shows he’s changed.
Ben seems to be two different people. I rarely know which one I'll encounter each day.
I know he always has women after him, but he’s never played into that playboy type until lately.
Tree, on multiple occasions, has threatened the other girls he’s flirted with.
Not with anything crazy, but with empty threats such as, “look at him again and I’ll cut your eyes out with the scissors in my backpack”, or my personal favorite, “if you talk to him again, you won’t make it to graduation”.
She hasn’t pointed any threats at me so far, but I’m assuming it’s because she knows if she does it’ll risk any chance she has at fully getting back together with Ben. Although that doesn’t dissuade her from staring daggers at me any time I enter her line of sight.
We never all hang out together, but if I’m sitting with Ben at lunch or in class, her lips will tense into a thin line and her eyes will blacken from anger in the distance. It’s quite off-putting.
I don’t egg her on, but I definitely don’t hide from her anymore either. She’s never followed through on any of her threats on any of the random girls he’s flirted with, so I assume I’m safe. If she actually does do something to someone one of these days, then I'll reassess, and tell Ben.
“Hey, Charlotte!”
I turn around in the parking lot to see Jared, one of the relay runners on our track team, running up to me.
“Oh, hey Jared. What’s up?”
His long blonde hair is in a tied-up bun, the sides stuck to his tan, clean shaven face from sweat.
He’s still training because he’s going to Jenkins University after graduation, the school notorious for pumping out pro-athletes for Track and Field.
You can always find him at the track after school.
“Nothing much! I wanted to give you this while I was thinking about it,” he beams brightly handing me his graduation party invite.
“Oh! Thanks Jared, that’s so nice of you. I’ll try to stop by.”
“Is that an actual I’ll try to stop by, or an ‘I’m just being polite Charlotte’ response where you don’t show up,” he confidently states, giving me a wink.
My neck twitches back, taken aback by his upfront honesty, especially since we’ve barely talked over the years.
He was right though; I’ve been invited to track and cross-country parties each year since the seventh grade but never went because I didn’t want to and my automatic response when invited has always been “I’ll try to stop by”.
“Sorry, Jared. I promise I'll be there,” I chuckle awkwardly, shifting on my feet with my previous true intentions hanging in the air.
Guess it won’t kill me to go. Plus, I’ll likely never see him again after his party anyways, and he’s always been an all-around nice guy. What could it hurt?
“Good! Are you having a graduation party or anything? I’d love to come!”
My shoulders turtle up. No one’s asked me if I was going to have one let alone if they could come.
“Um, no I’m not, actually,” I awkwardly mumble, staring down at my feet.
“Why not? I mean, I know you’re not a partier, but this is a once in a lifetime thing to celebrate with people. You should totally have one.”
Avoiding his gaze, I now focus on my fingers fiddling with my car keys.
“Well, uh, I don’t really have any family that I’d invite other than my parents, and I’m not super close with tons of people so I just figured I’d go to other people’s parties and that’d be good enough.”
His smile falters, his voice switching into a warmer, more compassionate tone.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend. I was only curious. Well, you had better go to everyone’s parties who’ve invited you. You’ll never have this chance again, and who knows when we’ll all see each other next. Plus, being social is important.”
He playfully fist bumps my arm, pulling a small twitch of my lips upwards.
The only grad party I initially planned on going to was Ben’s since he’s my best friend. I’ve been invited to five others, well six including Jared’s, but now I feel more pressured to go.
Ugh.
“Hey,” Ben says walking up to us.
Jared’s smile drops instantly into a tight line.
Huh, that’s weird. Does he not like Ben?
Regardless, I’m relieved to see him. Hopefully he can get me out of this conversation.
“Hey, Ben, what’s up?” I say brightly.
“Hey,” Jared replies shortly to Ben before quickly turning to me, ignoring Ben and resuming his bright demeanor.
“I gotta get back to training, but Charlotte, I’ll see you next weekend, okay?”
He waves goodbye at the same time he runs off toward the track. I wave back with a smile and turn back to Ben who furiously stares Jared down.
“You, okay? You seem upset.”
“What did he want?” he retorts in an unnecessarily aggressive manner, brows furrowed and mouth downturned.
“Jared? He’s on the track team with me, remember? He was inviting me to his graduation party.”
Ben continues to stare daggers at the track where Jared’s working out.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” I playfully touch him on the arm to see how he responds.
His face relaxes at my touch. “Oh, right, right. Yeah, I’m fine. I was just wondering what you two were talking about.” He pauses for a minute then grins. “So, you’re coming to mine too, right?” He winks.
Aaand I see we’re back to Ben’s flirty side. I roll my eyes, shoulder bumping him lightly.
“Of course, I am. Duh. You’re my best friend.”
He smiles, brushing my arm with his hand. A quick burning prickle instantly creeps up the back of my neck and into my cheeks at his touch, making me move away from him out of instinct. His brows furrow again as he catches me distancing myself from his touch, his smile dropping.
I instinctively clutch my left elbow in embarrassment at the awkward situation my body made by moving away on its’ own. He’s touched my arm plenty of times throughout our friendship, including hugs and play fighting, but we’ve changed since then. It’s…different now.
Is this what happens when you move into adulthood? I suppose it’s inevitable we’d change if I ever thought realistically about it. It just never occurred to me it would change like this.
He kindly backs away a step to give me some space and plasters on a strained smile.
Yawning, he stretches his arms, pulling his shirt up with them and tightening his white shirt on the rest of his torso.
Now given a front row view of his deep v-cut that dips into his leather pants, my mouth waters and my tongue and teeth scrape the inside of my cheek as I fixate on his now exposed olive skin.
That tingling sensation below fiercely returns, giving me an aggressive urge to run my fingers over his abs.
His shirt, in seemingly slow motion, ruffles back down, covering his stomach fully again.
“Eyes up here, Char,” he whispers, winking.
Oh my God, I want to die.
He caught me staring? What is wrong with me?
“Don’t flatter yourself. I was stuck in a stare and your abs just happened to be there,” I retort, playfully sticking out my tongue.
It’s the best excuse I can come up with.
I hope he buys it, but since my cheeks are on fire, I’m guessing he won’t.
The last time they felt this hot was when I accidentally walked in on two girls hooking up in our locker room last year and ran into the door because I tried to escape with my eyes shut while profusely shouting “sorry!”.
At least his smile is back and a calmness settles between us instead of the previous tension there seconds before.
The v-cut into his leather jeans emerges in my head again. If only I had an internal AC system to cool my cheeks and hide my true reactions. Being so easy to read is super inconvenient.