Chapter Eleven. #2
The smell of fresh hay and cold rain fills my nostrils. I breathe it in and sink onto a haybale, savoring the feel of the alfalfa poking through my jeans. Right as I close my eyes and lean back, a loud boom sounds from behind me, making me squeal in surprise.
I whip around to see Ben walking through the side door that must have slammed open from the wind. My mouth gapes open, my body on fire as I behold his current state.
His hair’s drenched from the rain, lost strands stuck to his face, and laying perfectly against his sharp jaw.
Not to mention, his white T-shirt’s completely soaked through, highlighting each dip in his chiseled abs.
And God, stuck just above his pants that are weighed down perfectly enough to display his v-cut, are the rim of his boxers sliding on his olive skin.
His jeans are a deep, dark blue from the rain, his work boots littered with mud.
A throbbing heat sears between my thighs, making me tighten them and a ball settles in my chest.
What do I do? Do I hide? No. It would be even more embarrassing if he caught me trying to hide. How would I explain that? Sorry, you were so hot I had to hide because I couldn’t handle my body’s reaction to you?
He chucks an ax with a log stuck on it into the side of the barn and runs his fingers through his hair, clearing his face of the loose strands, and letting loose a deep sigh.
Luckily, he doesn’t notice me at first, giving me enough time to rid myself of the drooling expression I know I have plastered on.
His shirt’s half-way up in a sad effort to wipe his face dry when he finally notices me watching him.
“Char! Is it four already? It started raining out there right when I was finishing up cutting wood for the bonfire I was initially going to hold tonight. I’m fucking soaked.”
Hesitantly, I sit still, waiting for flashbacks of the fire to come into my brain, but none do. It’s quiet along with the rest of the world, the only sound being the pattering of rain on the aluminum roof of the barn. The only thing I see is Ben. Hot, soaked Ben.
It takes all my energy to fight the strong urge to look lower than his eyeline because I know he’ll notice and give me shit for it. He drops his shirt, which barely moves down, sticking to his wet skin and wipes his hands on his pants.
“Uh, no, I uh, came early. I mean arrived early.” Oh my God, be more obvious, Charlotte.
My cheeks singe with heat and my heart pitter patters in my chest, making me short of breath.
I want nothing more than for him to take his shirt off and come over and kiss me. I want to feel him against me, skin to skin to see if it feels different when he touches me instead of myself. He’s not the only one soaked now… I pray he doesn’t notice.
“Oh, yeah?” He smirks like he knows my current state.
Fuck.
He walks a few steps toward me, and winks, his tongue flicking out on his bottom lip.
“Do you want to help me get ready?”
My eyes betray me. Damn them. They trace down his stomach and linger on his pants, blatantly showing the dirty place my mind’s stuck in.
I bite my lip, barely holding myself back from being reckless and risking our entire friendship by placing my mouth on his and tasting him, experiencing him and his lush, full wet lips.
Wearing a cocky smirk, he closes the gap between us. He licks his lips and lifts my chin with his rough knuckle…sigh…farmer’s hands.
God, I love them.
The skin’s cracked and calloused on the outside but soft on the palms. Veins protrude on the back of his hands, going down his arm and into the part of his bicep not covered by his T-shirt.
I search each of his beautiful brown eyes, trying to figure out what he’s thinking. My attention moves back to his lips and then his eyes on repeat, searching each crinkle of skin and each minute change in expression to see if he’s feeling the same as me in this moment.
The rain’s a distant drumming on the barn, yet barely an echo of sound can cut through the tension between us.
The only thing I can clearly hear is him, his voice, his breathing and my own.
I lick my lips and bite the inside of the lower one to be subtle about what I want, giving him permission to take that step if he wants.
His breath hitches as his gaze dips to my mouth.
We lock eyes, his staring at me with intensity, mine begging him to make a move.
Do it, I will them to say. Kiss me.
A hint of a smile appears but then he backs away, his eyes softening. It feels like he broke a bond that was just forming between us but now has been ripped, catching my breath with it. The rain and wind appear again but slower than before. It must be about to clear up outside.
“How are you doing today, Char? You doing, okay?” he croaks, his throat bobbing. Is he breathless from the interaction between us like I am?
I lean back on the bale, the alfalfa sticking into my palms, grounding me.
“I don’t want to talk about what happened last night. I’m over it. I promised myself I wasn’t going to let that jack-ass ruin or control my mood and feelings. Fuck him and fuck that.”
“That’s my girl,” he says proudly.
Butterflies flutter wildly in my stomach at being called his girl. I curl my lips in to hold my smile back and look away. “By the way, did you get any sleep last night at all? When did you even leave?” I ask, changing the conversation.
He rubs the back of his neck and looks down at his boots.
“Uh, no I didn’t get any sleep. I left around four, I think?”
“Holy crap, four in the morning? And you didn’t sleep? Why?” I know he told me already in his note, but I want him to tell me in person. I need to know he won’t play games with me and will be direct and up front with his feelings. He shoves his hands in his pockets, visibly nervous.
“Well,” he says exhaling forcefully, “I was too nervous to sleep in your room in case I didn’t wake up in time and your parents found us.
After the night you had, you didn’t need any more drama.
Plus, I wanted to be there in case you woke up and needed some comfort.
I wasn’t sure if you’d have nightmares and get scared if you woke up and were alone.
I wanted to make sure you didn’t feel alone in any capacity because I know how scary it can be to wake up like that. ”
I’m shook. He’s had nights of feeling alone and scared? He’s had nightmares that’ve haunted him? Why’s he never told me any of this before?
I push my luck and press for more. “You’ve woken up scared before?”
“Mhmm…” He stops talking and forces a cough. “Oh, good the rain’s about stopped…which is convenient, because I have a surprise for you, and we need to go to the other barn to get it.”
My eyes widen. “A surprise? Y-you got me something? What is it?”
He grins broadly and grabs my hand, pulling me up and leading me out of the side door he came in through. His touch lights my whole body on fire until…
“Ouch.”
He pulled too hard on my hand which triggered pain in my wrist, and I vocalized the pain before I could stop it which unfortunately made me out myself.
He whips his head around so fast I’m not able to pull my hand back in time before he pulls up my sweatshirt sleeve to look at my arm.
“I’m going to kill that fucking bastard,” he snarls in a low guttural voice.
He drops my hand, allowing the sleeve to fall back down and angrily stalks to the barn where he keeps his motorcycles. I chase after him, panicked about what he might do.
“Ben! Ben, stop!” I grab his arm, but he angrily rips it away from me. “Ben! You can’t do this; you need to leave it alone. You showed him what he did was wrong last night, you don’t need to go back over there.”
Tears cloud my vision and trail down my cheeks. Damnit, I’m so weak now. He faces me, a crazed look in his eye, one of anger resembling last night’s only with more fire.
“He’s a fucking piece of shit. I cannot believe he left marks on you. He needs to have his ass handed to him properly, and he needs to be reported for assault.”
His chest heaves but he stays with me instead of turning back toward the barn. I need to buy more time and calm him down.
“Don’t leave me, please. I’m asking you, for me, not to do this.
Jared will get what’s coming to him, but you going over there is only going to make things worse.
I’ll file a police report against him and let the authorities handle it if you want, but I do not want you risking your future for me on a guy who is the scum of the earth.
Don’t let Jared win. You let him win if you let your anger control you and end up in jail because of his actions.
Plus…I—I need you right now. I don’t want you to leave me alone right now. ”
His eyes search mine for any sign that I’m not okay and for answers on what he can do to make any lingering pain go away. I grab his arm and boldly put it around my waist. His breath catches at my touch, but his hand relaxes against my hip.
I wrap my arms around his waist, wetting my sweatshirt from the residual rain and sweat on his clothes.
His shirt’s cool against my skin, the dip in his back perfect for me to rest my arms in.
I lay my cheek against his shirt and close my eyes, breathing him in.
He stiffens, not hugging me back, instead letting me lead.
“I’m going to be okay, Ben. Because of you, I’m going to be okay.
Please don’t leave me right now. Don’t leave and ruin your party.
Let’s celebrate you tonight and the wonderful life you’re going to have.
Let’s not give Jared another moment of our time.
We both know he’ll get what’s coming to him, eventually.
So, please. Stay with me. I need you.” My voice cracks at the end, sounding more like a whimper than a plea.
His body relaxes at these last words, his arms fully wrapping around me, his head resting on mine. He kisses the top of my head. Lightening shoots through to my toes, making me squeeze him tighter and nuzzle into him.
“I won’t leave you, I promise. I’ll let it go, but only because you’ve asked me to. But I swear, if anything like this happens again, I will kill him or whoever puts you in that situation and you won’t stop me next time.”
He kisses me again in the same spot and holds me tightly, smushing my face further into his chest. God, he smells so good. His sweat mixed with the rain melts together to create an earthy scent mixed with his usual leathery-mint cologne.
His protectiveness over me is turning me on, I’ll admit, but I don’t want him to follow through on any of those violent threats. I only want him to be safe.
“I need you too, Char,” he whispers into my hair. He pauses then says, “By the way, risking my future for you is worth it, you know.”
Butterflies fly into my breasts, tingling my nipples and almost exploding out of me. I lean back and meet his gaze.
“No, it’s not. Not over something stupid like that,” I scold him.
He nips my nose and gives me a kiss on the cheek. “We’ll agree to disagree then.”
“I do not agree to disagree,” I retort, loosening my grip and stepping away.
He pulls me back and holds me there, his wet hair slightly falling over his face as he gazes down at me with a soft smile, but it quickly fades into something different, something that lights my soul on fire.
Meeting his stare, I notice his focus moves down to my mouth.
He slowly leans in, his eyelids beginning to close and my body sighs against his in anticipation.
“Charlotte! Hey! I see you came early to help us set up, huh?”
We release each other at the same time and awkwardly stand side by side, hands behind our backs. My cheeks blush from being caught in whatever we were doing. I don’t know if he was actually going to kiss me this time, but I was hoping, praying he was.
His mom runs over, her pruning shears sticking out of the front of her jeans, dirt on her knees from whatever gardening she was doing and a long sleeve-flannel flowing in the breeze.
“Hi Joan! Yup, came over to help set up!” I say brightly, trying to act normal. I’m still attempting to catch my breath, my heart pounding from the adrenaline surging through me. Ben sheepishly shoves his hands into his back-pockets, his cheeks tinted a deep red.
“Good! Ben, did you finish cutting wood?”
“Nah, the rain washed me out, but since it’s stopping, I’m going to finish up here in a minute. I was actually about to show Charlotte her gift in the barn.”
“Oh! Well don’t let me interrupt. Give that to her and then you finish up the wood-cutting and have Charlotte come find me. She can help me start setting up tables under the canopy Koa and I put up in case it starts raining again.”
“Sure thing, Ma. Char, let’s go.”
Joan and I exchange smiles before she turns around and strolls back toward the house.