Chapter Fifteen.
It was hands-down the best night of my life. I keep fearing it’ll disappear, that it isn’t real.
I thought I knew Ben, but last night showed me I only knew a fraction of the man he is. I can’t believe he chose me, that he’s wanted me, let alone, wanted me for so long and was patient enough to wait to pursue me until he felt we’d be ready for each other.
He walks me to my car around four in the morning. I want to stay there with him all night, but he’s right, my parents will kill me if I don’t come home now, especially if I tell them I was with a boy all hours of the night.
He opens my car door, gives me a kiss and helps me in. I almost cry. It doesn’t feel right to leave him. I feel so close to him that without being right next to him, loneliness consumes me. The magnetism between us is something I’ve only read about in stories.
I love him. I know it and I’m not going to fight that feeling. I love him, and I want to be with him always.
The love I’ve always had for him as friends blossoms into a deeper one after last night. From the intimate physical moments to the intimate emotional moments. I feel seen, my soul bared naked before him which he accepts fully and reciprocates.
I force myself to look forward as I drive away, afraid that if I look back, I’ll stop and run back to him, begging him to let me stay.
My knuckles turn white from gripping the steering wheel with all the strength I have.
Get a grip.
I need to be an adult about this and not be crazy. I’m probably overdoing it if I can’t stand to be away from him at all. That can’t be normal, can it?
I certainly can’t tell him I love him this early. Not until he tells me he reciprocates my love. What if he doesn’t feel the same way? I worry that after everything he showed and told me last night that it’s just a phase.
I pull in at home and have no idea how I got there. Sleep finally comes knocking on the door of my mind, my eyelids barely staying open as I open the front door and stumble up the stairs. I succumb to it, laying down on my bed fully clothed and pass out.
My eyelids are so heavy I can barely open them. Where am I?
God, it’s so hot in here. My clothes are soaked.
I rub my eyelids, forcing them open. My vision, blurry at first, slowly clears until my room comes into view.
That’s right. I’m home.
I turn over, my jeans rubbing harshly on my sticky skin. No wonder I’m sweating like crazy. I forgot I’m still in my sweatshirt and jeans.
Ugh, I don’t want to move to take my sweatshirt off, but I have to or else I won’t be able to go back to sleep. I sit up and struggle to pull it off before laying back down, hitting my head on my phone.
“Ouch.”
I must’ve been holding it when I passed out. I turn it over to check the time and see a text from my man. Elation at his text instantly wakes me up. I click on the message sent two hours ago at ten in the morning.
“Eeek!” I fall back, kicking my legs in giddy fashion.
I miss him too. I’m so glad last night wasn’t a fluke. I’m so happy and surprised he texted me already to hangout again. I roll over and instantly text back.
My phone dings right away.
I smile down at my phone, so unbelievably happy, I don’t know how to hold it all in.
“Eeeekkkk!” I hop around my room and dance a nerdy jig, my hips and arms uncoordinatedly swinging side to side. How is the word baby when used as a pet name such a damn turn on? I can’t hide my joy when he calls me that. Every time he uses it, I fall harder for him.
Shrugging, I dart to the shower so I can get to his place as quickly as possible. I can’t stop thinking about Ben, can’t stop smiling, can’t stop wondering what we’re going to do tonight.
The memory of his fingers inside me and the tip of his length keeps getting me so hot that I have to masturbate in the shower just to curb it until I can get to him.
I throw on a deep red dress, one that I haven’t ever worn to school, curl my hair and make my way down to the kitchen to get something to eat. Mom and Dad sit at the kitchen table, writing and chatting with each other, but go silent as I enter the room.
“You were out late,” Dad says, perturbed, biting the inside of his cheek.
“Yeah, Ben’s graduation party was a lot of fun. Everyone hung out all night since we’re not sure when we’ll all be able to once graduation is over,” I nonchalantly lie through my teeth.
No guilt surfaces as I blatantly lie to my father’s face. I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad development.
“I see. And when Ben was in your room late the other night…were you two behaving?”
Don’t get hot in the face. Don’t get hot in the face. Think of sticking your head in an ice bucket, feel the cold rush of water stinging your skin.
“Yes, of course. We’re just friends.”
Not a complete lie, I suppose.
“Good. Just make sure you’re being smart, Charlotte,” he says sternly, looking back at his computer. Scolded once again… I hate it.
“I know, Dad. I will be. I’m an adult and you raised me right. I can take care of myself. Don’t worry.”
“Even if you can take care of yourself, I don’t want you to ruin your future,” he says, avoiding my gaze. My mother glances anxiously from him to me, her mouth opening and closing, obviously debating whether to intervene or not.
“I’m not dumb. I promise I’m being smart in all my choices. Why do you not trust me? What have I ever done to break your trust?”
He doesn’t respond, but continues typing, his mouth twitching as if biting his tongue, holding back what he really wants to say.
I scoff and turn to the kitchen. I grab a protein bar and a sandwich out of the refrigerator and strut toward the front door.
“Where you going now?” he yells into the hallway.
“Ben’s,” I say shortly and slam the door behind me, not waiting for his response.
Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.
I fight the tears burning my eyes. Don’t ruin my makeup or the excitement of going to Ben’s. Everything’s fine. Dad and I are just adjusting to our new way of life. Things will be okay.
After a deep breath, I get in my car. I take my sandwich out of the Ziploc bag and bite into the crust. I’m too hungry to wait until Ben’s to eat, but I refuse to eat it in the house with my parents.
If I ate inside, more questions would surface causing further anger, crying and shouting and I don’t want to deal with it.
Not right now. Not with the happiness I’m feeling with Ben.
I shove down the rest of the cold cut turkey sandwich and protein bar and leave for my man’s house.
Ben is outside the barn, working on his red Ducati when I pull in. His shirt’s off, his skin dripping with sweat, and his jeans are held up by his belt that’s glimmering in the sunlight.
Fuck, he’s so hot.
And he’s all mine.
I park my car by his and walk over, playfully walking on my toes and casually approaching him. He doesn’t notice me, too ingrained in what he’s doing.
How do I want to play this? Do I sneak up on him and hug him? Give him a kiss? Will that be too obvious with his parents around? I opt for giving him a swift quick kick in the butt, almost knocking him forward into his motorcycle where he squats.
“Hey, you!”
He jumps up, grabs my chin and tilts it up to kiss me.
Swoon.
“Hi,” I say out of breath from being swept off my feet. “What’re you doing to your bike?”
“Ah,” he says, wiping his brow, smearing black fluid on his forehead. “Just maintenance. She needed an oil change, and the chains needed lubricating and all that. Just basic stuff you have to do every once in a while, to keep her purring.”
“Her?” I giggle.
“Yes. You must adhere to calling her by her name if you're going to ride her.”
I laugh but his expression’s dead serious.
“So, you’re getting her ready for me to ride her?” Oof, that sounds dirty. “What’s her name then?” I chuckle, nervously playing with the folds in my dress.
“Yes, I am. She’s got to be in top shape for my first backpack. And by the way, her name’s Dalia.”
“Huh. Dalia. I like it.” I affectionately stroke the shiny red plastic on the tank.
“How’d you come up with that name?”
“She was my first adult bike, so I called her Dalia since she was a version of my first flower.” He lovingly gazes at the bike currently held up on jacks.
“Should I leave you two alone?” I joke, crossing my arms.
“Such a sassy attitude from my girl today. I love it.”
I stick my tongue out. He goes to grab it, but I jump back out of range.
“Ew! Your hand has oil all over it, don’t touch my tongue!”
“Don’t stick your tongue out at me and I won’t.” He winks.
Our laughs mesh together, echoing into the fields. The sun shines brightly outside and in my heart as well, the fight with my father long gone from the forefront of my mind.
Footsteps crunch on the stone driveway behind us. I turn around to be greeted by his parents. Do they know about us already? I hope they didn’t hear us last night or have any idea of what we were up to on their property...
“It’s about time you two started dating,” Joan says cheerfully, hugging me.
Koa, unable to help himself, chimes in his two cents. “Yeah, we’ve been betting on this for years. If you guys waited much longer, I’d have lost the bet, and no one wants that.”
Relief sweeps over me. They’re being so cool about it. Which also means there’s no way they know how physical we were last night.
Phew.
Ben drapes his arm around my shoulder and kisses my forehead. I blush, nervous about being so open with our PDA in front of his parents and fold my hands in front of me.
My brain replays Koa’s comment. They thought we should’ve gotten together for years, and they actually bet on it? How am I the only one who had no idea how Ben felt about me all this time?
Probably because he was screwing another girl.
I clench my jaw together and tighten my lips at the thought of him and Tree. To distract my mind, I ask his dad what he would’ve had to do if he lost the bet.
“I’d have to wear Joan’s dress for an entire day while we ran all sorts of errands to the other farmers.”