Chapter 8
8
When they finally arrived back at the villa, it was a big surprise to find Hector by the pool in the garden, chatting to none other than Katerina.
They were perched side by side on sun loungers and he looked more animated than Stella had seen him in a long while. What’s more, he was smiling! He quickly wiped the smile from his face when he spotted his mother, though.
‘I dropped by to make sure everything is in order,’ Katerina explained, rising and smoothing down her tailored navy trousers. ‘Hector seemed to think you have all you need? He said the girls are upstairs.’
Stella nodded. ‘Everything’s perfect, thank you.’ She was secretly marvelling at how quickly the old woman managed to get here. She can’t have left the village much before they did. She was like a mountain goat.
Stella was also in awe of Katerina’s ability to make Hector talk. What on earth could they have been chatting about? She’d love to know.
‘I gather you managed to rescue my friend, Jon, and Zenobia the dog from the man who runs the shoe shop?’ she said to the housekeeper with a grin. ‘Thank you.’
Katerina frowned. ‘Yiannis? Pah! He’s a silly old fool. He goes way over the top. He was talking about calling the police. Imagine! Because the dog was doing what dogs do when they smell food. They’d have laughed in his face.’
‘It must have been annoying for the poor woman who lost her chicken, though,’ Stella observed. ‘I hope she won’t have to go without supper.’
‘Very annoying,’ Katerina conceded. ‘It was right that Mrs Vasilakis’ son cleared up the mess. But you can’t go kidnapping other people’s pets. Yiannis went way too far!’ She clicked her tongue. ‘He always does.’
When Katerina left, Stella took her place by Hector’s side. She could hear Louise on the phone to someone in the kitchen. Her voice sounded different and she was laughing a lot and rather self-consciously, Stella thought. Josh, no doubt.
‘How long was Mrs Papadakis here?’ Stella asked, turning to Hector, hoping to draw him out.
He shrugged. ‘Not long.’
‘She’s nice, isn’t she?’
‘She’s okay.’
‘Did you have a good day?’ Stella persisted. ‘What did you get up to?’
He was twitching with irritation. She could sense it.
‘Nothing much.’ He rose quickly. ‘See ya later.’
‘Where are you going?’ Stella asked desperately, watching as he loped towards the door, his skinny black jeans hanging loosely from his hips, despite the studded leather belt that was supposed to hold them up.
Her whole body felt heavy and weary. Nowadays, he always had this effect on her.
‘My room. Too much fresh air. I’m a vampire.’ He laughed nastily and made a silly hissing noise. ‘I prefer the dark.’
A lump appeared in her throat and she felt like getting down on her knees and begging him to be nice, but what good would that do? He’d just say she was being over-dramatic and he hadn’t wanted to come on holiday in the first place.
Thank God for Louise, she thought as she got up and walked slowly towards the house. She was the only person Stella could talk openly to, even though she could be a bit too blunt at times.
Louise was still on the phone in the kitchen when Stella entered, and she disappeared upstairs to finish her chat. Meanwhile, Stella started to fetch plates and cutlery for supper and prepare a salad.
It was after 8.30p.m. and a long time since they’d had lunch in the taverna. The children must be ravenous, she thought. Even she felt hungry for once.
Glancing out of the kitchen window now and again, she watched the sun slowly turning from golden to orange, then pink to fiery red.
Apart from the rhythmical tz tz of the cicadas, the silence outside was so complete, she fancied she could hear herself think. It had been quite a day, what with Jon’s declaration of love, the stealthy octopus, the dog incident and Marina’s deadly warning. She’d be glad when it was over and she could go to sleep.
Louise returned while Stella was mixing a vinaigrette dressing for the salad.
‘Sorry, that was Josh.’ Surprise surprise. ‘He was in an unusually chatty mood.’
‘How is he?’ Stella wanted to know.
‘Fine. Going to the gym a lot. I think he’s missing me. He said he was, anyway.’
‘Good. Keep him on his toes,’ Stella said wryly. But she’d clocked the uncertainty in Louise’s voice. ‘Have you two got any holiday plans, with or without the children?’
They’d been on a few glamorous-sounding trips in the past, just the pair of them.
Louise shuffled her feet. ‘We might go to Mallorca in August, when the kids are away with their dad. It depends on Josh’s work. He says he can’t commit to anything till he’s finished his current job.’
‘That’s a pain. Remind me what the job is?’
‘This brand-new housing development in Camberwell, which he’s project managing. There have been loads of hiccups, mainly with the suppliers.’
Stella frowned. ‘Isn’t that par for the course? Surely he can take a week off to go away with you?’
‘I hope so,’ Louise replied with a shrug. ‘It’s difficult when you can’t plan anything till the last minute. I expect we’ll manage something.’
‘Fingers crossed. How do the children get on with him now?’
Stella knew this had been a problem in the past. Josh had no children of his own and didn’t seem particularly interested in Will or Amelia or make much of an effort. Not surprisingly, they weren’t that keen on him, either.
‘Oh, it’s fine now. Things are much easier on that score,’ Louise replied, a little too quickly. ‘They don’t see a lot of each other, to be honest. I mean, everyone’s so busy.’
Stella raised her eyebrows and was about to probe further, but Louise shut her down.
‘Anyway, they’ve got a dad. They don’t need another one. It’s simpler keeping the two sides of my life separate. Everyone’s happier.’
After that, they briefly discussed Marina again, and Stella promised not to ruminate. She had to cross her fingers behind her back, though.
Once Louise had confirmed that Jon was in his room, Stella quickly filled her in on his extraordinary outburst this morning. She knew he and the others might be down soon, so she wouldn’t have long.
Stella expected Louise to be shocked, but hadn’t predicted how furious she’d be, too.
‘How dare he put that on you when he knows how fragile you still are?’ she said hotly. ‘It’s incredibly selfish of him. It’s not fair on you or Jemima, for that matter. What if she finds out? And what about your kids? It would be so confusing for them. Their mum’s dead best friend’s husband? Horrific! Besides, you and Al aren’t even divorced yet.’
‘I keep thinking about him,’ Stella admitted, changing direction for a moment. ‘I know I only said that to Jon to put him off, but it’s actually the truth. I think I’d be a teeny bit jealous if I found out Al was seeing another woman.’
Louise frowned. ‘I’m sure that’s normal. You were together such a long time, after all. But for God’s sake, don’t do any toing and froing. It wouldn’t be fair on Al or the kids. You’ve got to stick to your guns and see this thing through. You’ll feel so much better once the divorce is sorted.’
Stella was doubtful, but didn’t say so. She could imagine how annoying it would be for Louise, who’d given her so much support through the separation, if she suddenly turned round and said she and Al were giving their marriage another try.
Besides, she didn’t think Al would be up for it. He seemed to be moving on.
‘Let’s have some music.’ Louise turned on the radio and they listened to some Greek folk songs while she divided up the lamb skewers.
The sharp, metallic, slightly nasal sound of the bouzouki instruments grated on Stella’s nerves, but she didn’t complain. Louise was jigging to the music and enjoying herself.
‘Do you want a drink?’
They both jumped at the sound of Jon’s voice. If he’d appeared five minutes earlier, he’d have overheard their conversation.
‘Good idea.’ Stella turned down the volume and tried to act casual. ‘There’s a bottle of rosé in the fridge. Shall we open that?’
He fetched three glasses from a cupboard and pulled out the bottle of rosé. While he unscrewed the lid and poured the wine, Stella noticed his hands were trembling.
‘ Yamas !’ she said fake-cheerfully once they all had a drink. She’d heard locals using the word when they chinked glasses.
After taking a sip, she glanced up to find Jon staring at her with damp, mournful eyes.
‘I’ll set the table,’ she said hurriedly, picking up the wooden tray she’d laid with cutlery, glasses and plates. She couldn’t wait to get away. He was making it hard for her to breathe.
‘I’ll help,’ he said, quick as a flash.
Her heart sank, but what could she do? She didn’t want to make a scene. Jon started to follow her outside.
‘Me too!’ Louise said, trailing after them both with a jug of iced water.
Stella was grateful to her friend for saving her from another awkward encounter, but wondered how long they could keep this up. Louise couldn’t be her minder for the rest of the trip. They’d just have to hope Jon would see sense.
Supper in fact turned out to be quite a jolly affair. Surrounded by people, Jon couldn’t moon after Stella or make reproachful digs. Instead, he sat quietly, playing around with his food and drinking more than his fair share of the wine.
Having recovered from the walk back to the villa, the girls talked animatedly about their daytrip and the snorkelling.
‘Can we go to a different beach tomorrow?’ Lily asked. ‘It’s so fun exploring new places.’
Louise suggested having a quiet day round the pool to recuperate instead, and visiting a gorge the day after.
‘It’s called the Aradena Gorge and it’s supposed to be stunning. There’s a beach at the end of the walk and a taverna. I suggest we set off early and have lunch there. It’s quite a tough hike – very steep in places. It’ll take us three to four hours.’ She looked pointedly at Hector. ‘I hope you’ll come this time? It’ll be worth it, I promise.’
He picked something out of a tooth, which he examined, before putting it back in his mouth.
Stella winced but managed not to comment.
‘Dunno. Maybe,’ he said.
‘Great!’
Unlike Stella, Louise didn’t get angry or frustrated with him. Stella wished she could be as cool headed. His behaviour wound her up so much and left her utterly humiliated.
The others all agreed with Louise’s plan and the girls and Will decided to wake up early tomorrow and look round the shops in Porto Liakáda.
‘I want a hat,’ Lily announced. ‘A straw one. I saw a stall selling them.’
‘Will you be all right, Will?’ Louise asked with an amused smile. ‘Trailing round with the girls while they try on endless stuff?’
He grinned. ‘Yeah. I’ll probably end up sitting in a café. I need to call some people. I’ll be fine.’
Everyone helped clear the table. Even Hector carried out more than just his own plate and glass.
As Stella crouched down to stack the dishwasher, she was aware of Jon standing close behind her, just that bit too close for comfort. She almost stepped on him when she stood up and he backed away wordlessly.
He followed her again when she went outside to shake the tablecloth and blow out the candles. It was like having a tiresome puppy at her heels.
While he hovered nearby as she folded up the covering, she prayed he wouldn’t say anything. They were alone and she desperately wanted someone to join them.
Without any warning, he suddenly stepped forward and put his hand on hers, pinning it to the table.
She jumped – ‘Oh!’ – and her heart flew into her mouth.
‘Can we talk somewhere in private?’ He nodded at a shadowy area to their left with olive trees and bushy shrubs.
‘I don’t think—’ she began feebly, but she didn’t get to finish as a noise behind made them both turn and stare.
Hector had left the kitchen and was striding towards them. He glanced quickly at them and spotted Jon’s hand on Stella’s just before it was whipped away.
Stella’s stomach turned over and her legs felt wobbly.
‘What’s going on?’ Hector sounded angry and uncertain in equal measure. ‘Have I interrupted something?’
The air seemed to turn cold and he gave a fake laugh, which made it even chillier.
‘Not at all.’ Stella forced herself to straighten up and she clutched the tablecloth to her chest. ‘I was just going to put this in the washing machine.’
She knew she looked guilty, and Jon did nothing to help her out.
‘Goodnight, Stella,’ he said in a stiff, stern voice. ‘We’ll speak about this another time.’
And with that, he walked swiftly back to the villa, leaving an even frostier atmosphere behind.
Stella’s guts twisted and she wished the ground would open up and swallow her whole. The last thing she’d wanted was for Hector to find out about Jon’s infatuation. She’d hoped to protect both her children from that.
More to the point, Hector always thought the worst of her and would undoubtedly jump to the conclusion that this was somehow her fault. Whichever way she looked at it, her relationship with her son would become more difficult still.
‘What was that about?’ he asked coldly before she’d managed to gather her thoughts and think of an appropriate explanation.
She hesitated before speaking. ‘Jon’s in a really bad way.’
‘I know that.’
‘He wants to move on from Harriet’s death but doesn’t know how.’
Hector’s face warped into an ugly snarl.
‘So he’s hitting on you? He thinks you’ll mend his broken heart?’
Stella swallowed. She could deny it, but her son was so sharp, he’d know she was lying.
She racked her brains to come up with a palatable response. ‘He’s completely deluded,’ she replied at last. ‘I think it must be because of the trauma he’s gone through. I’ve told him there’s no way I’d ever have a relationship with him. It’s not going to happen. Hopefully, he’ll get the message soon.’
‘Jeez.’ Hector crossed his arms and gripped his biceps tightly, as if for self-protection.
The garden was only partially illuminated by lights from the house, and half his face was in shadows.
As Stella glanced at him warily, she thought he looked as if he were wearing a mask. The side that was showing was angry and inscrutable. But if you flipped the mask over, you’d see the full range of his emotions.
His brow was furrowed and his mouth was set in a grim, hard line. Behind the anger, however, she was sure sadness lurked, hidden from view.
‘What are you thinking?’ she asked gently. ‘You do believe me?’
He rubbed his eyes. Was he crying? She wanted to give him a hug but didn’t dare.
‘Dad…’ He started to speak but stopped again almost immediately.
‘Dad what?’ Stella asked encouragingly. ‘What about him?’
For a moment, it seemed Hector was going to tell her something, but he must have thought better of it and clamped his mouth shut.
‘Nothing,’ he said bitterly. ‘It doesn’t matter. Go and fuck Jon if you want; I don’t care.’
Her jaw dropped and tears of fury, hurt and disbelief pooled in her eyes.
‘Don’t speak to me like that!’ she cried, her face and neck bursting into flames. ‘I’m your mother! Maybe that doesn’t mean anything to you any more. I’ve told you, nothing’s happened with Jon and never will.’
Hector pushed his face into Stella’s, making her recoil, and his dark eyes flashed in the gloom.
‘You lost the right to be my mum when you kicked my dad out. You almost broke him. How do you think that makes me feel?’
His cheeks were burning, too, and his body trembled with rage.
She let out a sob and buried her face in her hands. ‘I can’t stand it. I can’t cope with your hate any more.’
Her legs buckled and she felt close to collapse. She was about to try to stagger indoors when Hector spoke again, but gently this time.
‘Mum?’ Was that concern in his voice?
She peeked at him timidly through her fingers and, behind the mask, she thought she spied a faint glimmer of the Hector she used to know: kind, caring, loving, thoughtful Hector. The one who used to give her the best hugs.
A seed of hope buried itself deep in her chest.
‘Yes?’ she said cautiously.
He hesitated, swaying to and fro for a moment, before shaking his head. ‘Nothing.’
The seed dislodged itself and her heart froze over.
He turned on his heel and was gone.
* * *
Back in the house, Stella didn’t want to talk about what had just taken place, but it was obvious she’d been crying and she felt she owed Louise some sort of explanation.
‘Hector and I had a row. He said some terrible things,’ she whispered when the others were out of hearing.
Jon and Hector had gone to their rooms while the girls and Will were playing cards at the grand marble dining table next door.
Louise led her outside again and suggested a stroll round the moonlit garden. The cicadas’ singing was quieter now the air was cool. They were at their noisiest in the hottest part of the day.
A distant, low hoot, which seemed to echo round the mountain, made them stop in their tracks.
‘An owl,’ Louise observed. ‘What a lovely sound!’
Stella glanced up to Jon’s bedroom on the second floor. His shutters were closed but the light was on, and she guessed the window was open.
‘This way,’ Louise said, nodding in the direction of a narrow, paved path that led away from the villa to the edge of the property. Most of the fruit trees had been planted here against the wall, where they’d be somewhat sheltered from the strong Cretan wind that could suddenly whip up and take you by surprise.
Louise shook her head in disgust when Stella told her about Jon’s ambush, and then again when she repeated some of the language Hector had used.
‘He shouldn’t speak to you like that,’ she muttered. ‘Whatever happened to “Honour thy father and thy mother”?’
‘But what can I do about it? He’s an adult now; I can’t stop his pocket money or ground him.’
Louise paused for a moment. ‘It must have been a huge shock for him, seeing you and Jon like that. I can understand why he jumped to the wrong conclusion.’
‘Yes, but what I don’t get is why he wouldn’t believe me when I told him the truth.’
Louise took a deep breath. ‘I think he’s extremely lost and confused. Obviously, Harriet’s death was traumatic for him, too. On top of that, he’s had to cope with your low moods as well as his dad’s misery. And it can’t be easy for him, with you spending so much time with Jon and Jemima. I imagine he feels rather abandoned and left to his own devices.’
Stella was stung. She knew Louise could be direct, but implying she was falling short as a mother was a step too far. It hurt like hell.
‘I’ve asked him loads of times if he wants counselling,’ she said defensively. ‘Obviously, I’d pay. But he insists he doesn’t need it. I don’t know what else I can do for him. And clearly, I have to look after Jon and Jemima…’
‘You could ask Jon to leave?’
Both women pulled up short and Louise’s words seemed to hang, suspended in the air between them.
It was Stella who broke the silence.
‘Are you serious?’
Louise nodded. ‘It would send a strong message to Hector about how you really feel about Jon. To be honest, it’d be a relief for the rest of us as well. He’s not exactly good company. No one wanted him to come except you.’
Stella’s pulse started racing and her head hurt.
‘I can’t possibly send him home.’
‘Why not?’
‘It might tip him over the edge. I promised Harriet I’d look after him.’
Louise made a clicking sound with her tongue, which made Stella’s teeth jangle.
‘Always Harriet,’ she said. ‘Nothing’s changed, has it? You hero-worshipped her when she was alive, and she’s still running your life now she’s dead. When are you going to grow up and stand on your own two feet?’
‘What?’ Stella could hardly believe her ears. This sudden, inexplicable burst of malice took her breath away. ‘I didn’t hero-worship her,’ she said hotly. ‘I don’t know why you think that. She was a dear friend. We’d grown up together, remember. We were like sisters. We understood each other,’ she added pointedly. ‘She’d do anything for me and vice-versa.’
Even in the darkness, she could sense Louise’s skin prickling with annoyance.
‘Really? I know you’d do anything for her . You’ve shown that a hundred times over. But what about the other way round?’
‘What do you mean?’ Stella was stunned.
‘Well, where was Harriet when Robin died, for instance? And I don’t remember her looking after Hector much when you were trying to get your business off the ground.’
It was true, Harriet hadn’t been there when Stella had heard the news about Hector’s real dad; she’d been away on a work trip. She’d kept in touch by phone, though. And Louise was between jobs and didn’t have children when Stella had been setting up Deliciously Yours, whereas Harriet was working full-time with a two-year-old.
‘I was really grateful for your help; you were amazing,’ Stella said quietly, as it slowly dawned on her Louise must have disliked Harriet far more than she’d ever realised. ‘Were you jealous of Harriet?’ she asked suddenly, genuinely wanting to understand where the anger was coming from.
‘Not in the least.’ Louise gave a humourless laugh, which made Stella think she must have hit a raw nerve. ‘Why would I be jealous of her ?’
A real nastiness had crept into her tone, which made Stella’s pulse race. It was as if a switch had been flipped and she suddenly saw red.
‘I think you were. I think you envied our closeness,’ she blurted. Now she’d started, she couldn’t stop. ‘You’ve always been critical of her. You never made much effort to be friends. I often wondered why. I was quite surprised you didn’t do more to help when she was dying, actually. I didn’t say anything at the time, but I noticed you didn’t visit much; you were always too busy. And now you’re telling me to do less for her family. At last, I understand why.’
There was a silence again for a moment and the atmosphere surrounding the two women felt heavy and sinister. Even the air they were breathing seemed toxic.
Stella could hear her heart hammering and her fists were clenched. She squeezed her eyes closed, gearing up for another verbal onslaught, but instead, Louise inhaled deeply.
‘Look, there’s no point arguing like this. We’re both upset and we’ll only say things we’ll regret. I do think you need focus more on Hector and Lily, though. They need you just as much – probably even more than Jemima and Jon.’
Heat rose up through Stella’s body and her cheeks caught fire for the second time that evening.
‘Do you think I don’t know what my kids have been through? They’re my main priority. Their needs are always uppermost in my mind.’
‘Hey!’ Louise touched Stella lightly on the arm, which made her jump and instinctively pull back.
‘I’m sorry for what I said. I know you loved Harriet and I didn’t not like her, if you see what I mean. And you’re a good mum. I just think Jon’s affecting the atmosphere, especially now he’s told you he’s in love with you. It must be really awkward for you, too.’
They’d reached the perimeter wall and began to skirt round the edge of the garden. It was a clear night and the way was lit by the silvery moon and stars.
This sudden, surprise apology made Stella cool down a bit. She wasn’t wearing shoes and the grass felt pleasantly chilly beneath her feet.
It was clear Louise wanted to smooth things over, which wasn’t a bad thing. It was late and Stella needed a decent night’s sleep, not more of an ugly, deeply upsetting confrontation. She couldn’t forget Louise’s words, though. Out of the blue, she’d gone for the jugular, and it really hurt.
‘I’ve taken on board your comments about Jon,’ Stella said carefully, after pondering for a few moments. ‘I do understand where you’re coming from, but I can’t do what you ask. I’ll see what he’s like tomorrow. If he’s still acting weird around me, I’ll tell him he’s making everyone uncomfortable and it’s got to stop.’
‘Fine.’ Louise sounded frustrated, but resigned.
‘Thanks,’ said Stella, scratching a bite on her arm with her fingernails. Relief from the itching only came when the bite started to bleed.
By now, they’d circled round the whole villa and come back to their original spot. A burst of laughter came from inside; the girls and Will were probably still playing cards.
Stella glanced up to Jon’s window again and saw light still shining through the shutters. She shivered, and hoped Harriet would appreciate what she was doing for him; Harriet wouldn’t want Stella turning her back on Jon, no matter what. It had put her in a very difficult position, though.
‘Just so you know, I’m going to keep my distance from Jon as much as possible tomorrow,’ Louise said firmly.
Stella nodded, wishing she could do the same.
Goosebumps ran up and down her arms when she remembered his hand on hers, him standing so close to her at times, there was barely a sliver of breathing space between them.
‘Good idea. Me too,’ she added without conviction.