4. I Hadn’t Even Seen Him Naked
I HADN’T EVEN SEEN HIM NAKED
A spen
I was sitting at the bar in the middle of The Roadhouse, staring down at the text message that just came through to my phone—rereading it for the thirteenth time.
Rowan: Hey, Aspen. I’m glad you enjoyed the flowers. We should have dinner tonight. Together.
I told the man I wasn’t interested, and he asked me out?
There was absolutely no chance I could go out with him.
Not alone, at least...was I mentally trying to find a way to dignify saying yes to this man?
Truly? My internal compass was telling me it would most definitely be a massive mistake.
He technically didn’t even ask me. There was no question mark written in his text.
He essentially told me we were going to have dinner. Right?
Ivy walked over in the midst of my rereading the single text for the fourteenth time.
She was smiling at first glance, until she saw my frown.
“What’s wrong, boo?” I didn’t say a word and simply handed her my phone.
She read the message thread quickly, and I could tell when she read through it a second time.
“So, you turned him down? And he replied by asking you out? What are you going to say back?”
“Uh, no! Just like I did before,” I said, exasperated.
“Okay, hear me out.” I could already tell I was going to hate whatever she had to say about this situation.
“What if we meet him in neutral territory? Todd wants to head back over to The Raven tonight when I get off. Invite him to join us. No pressure. Just a couple of dances, maybe a beer with friends. See where it goes.”
I looked at her for a moment, anxiously chewing on my lower lip, weighing my options. It wasn’t a bad idea. Plus, she’d told me before that he was a no-commitment type of guy. Maybe this was my chance to just blow off some steam and let loose for once in my life.
“It isn’t a horrible idea,” I grumbled.
She let out a brief laugh. “Oh, lighten up, Aspen.” She took my hands in her own and looked me in the eyes, suddenly more serious.
“Listen, I know I don’t fully get it. I also know that Sam really, really fucked you up.
But you aren’t going to curl up and become a nun, right?
Rowan doesn’t do commitment, so this is an easy trial run for you to get back up in the swing of things, ya know.
He probably just thinks you’re gorgeous and wants to see what’s underneath.
” She glanced down toward my chest as she did a little shimmy and giggled. “And news flash! You are!”
I could tell by the look in her eyes she cared, and she was saying all this because she cared so deeply, but I still sort of wanted to punch her. “Fine, but if he ends up being a crazy stalker who tries to lock me up and keep me in his sex dungeon, it’s going to be your fault!”
“Oh, please. You could use some sex dungeon time. Find out if he has a friend with a matching sex dungeon for me. I may need it next time Todd pisses me off. But I’m texting him the new plan now! No backing out,” she said with a wink and laughed before walking away to check on her tables.
I looked down at my phone. No pressure. Simple night out with friends. I could totally do that.
Me: No dinner. But Ivy and I are meeting Todd over at The Raven later, if you want to tag along. Not a date. Just hanging out.
I flipped my phone over and took a sip of my drink. Maybe he’d say no thanks, and then I could go back to worrying about nothing more than my art. As soon as the thought passed through my head, my phone buzzed against the polished wood of the bar top.
Reaching down, I flipped it over to read the text.
Rowan: Let me know what time, and I’ll see you there, little angel.
Well, I guess this was happening. Might as well run home and get changed.
I’d run home with enough time to change out of my comfy “ I’m off work ” clothes, and into something more suitable for a night out with friends. Plus, I may or may not have run a straightener through my hair and put on a touch of mascara. Nothing crazy. I had no one to impress after all.
I spun in the mirror before heading back to Ivy and smiled softly at myself. Once again, taking a small moment in time to appreciate the lengths I’d gone through to make it this far.
The ripped-up dark skinny jeans would stick out at The Raven, but I didn’t care.
I’d worn fishnets underneath that came up just above my jeans and looked great with my cropped Iron Maiden t-shirt.
Plus, my Vans slip-ons, a few silver rings, and my signature red lipstick.
I felt amazing—like the Aspen I’d always longed to be.
I’d spent years listening to my ex try to dictate what type of clothes I wore, especially when we went out with his friends. Anything that showed “ extra skin ” as he’d said wasn’t allowed. He’d accuse me of trying to “ impress ” his friends and get them into our bed.
I rolled my eyes just thinking about the absolutely moronic idea of getting his idiot friends in bed with me.
So no, I didn’t care if I stood out with the typical crowd of The Raven.
I just wanted to feel good about myself, and I did.
Truly. I’d discovered more about myself in the last six months settling in Raven Creek than I had in the previous twenty-three years of my life surrounded by people who lived to tear me down.
Tucking my apartment key in my front pocket with my ID and my cell phone in my back pocket, I was ready to go.
The plan was to meet Ivy over at The Roadhouse first, and then Todd was going to pick us up and drive us over to The Raven.
Most of the time, I was so thankful that The Roadhouse was only two blocks from my apartment.
When I got to Raven Creek, one of the first things I did was sell my car.
It didn’t make sense when my apartment, work, and the small grocery store were in a four-block radius of each other.
So, I’d put the money in my savings account just in case anything happened.
But days like today, when I relied on other people, like Todd, for rides, it made me want to kick something.
The sky was edging on the tip of darkness, but the sun was still hanging on with small streaks of purple through the Colorado sky.
It was only the middle of July, so the weather was still beautiful, and the breeze off the mountains that surrounded our small town was refreshing.
All ingredients for a nice walk back to work to meet Ivy.
Walking up to The Roadhouse, she was walking out of the restaurant and smiled the moment she saw me. “Keeping it casual and unimpressive, I see.” A knowing smirk curved along her face, causing me to return a quick eye roll her way.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Ivy.
Where’s Todd?” I asked quickly to change the subject off the fact that I definitely wasn’t keeping it casual, and we both knew it.
No need to draw more attention to how hard I was actually trying, though.
The guy was hot as fuck—what was I supposed to do?
She snickered under her breath as if she could read my internal thoughts and knew the road they’d taken all on their own.
“He’s pulling up now.” She pointed over as Todd’s red Honda sedan pulled up to the curb. He unlocked the doors, and Ivy hopped in the front while I took the backseat.
“Ready to go dancing, ladies?” Todd seemed like he’d already had a few, but I rolled my eyes to myself. He really irked me, and thankfully, The Raven was only a few minutes’ drive. With my luck, it may not be just a few beers he’d already had.
Ivy smiled at him. “Ready to dance!!”
Todd put the car in drive and took off down the quiet streets—my anxiety doing its best to remind me that I was keeping it casual and not trying my hardest to impress the tall, dark, and handsome cowboy.
We thankfully arrived at The Raven in one piece, but Rowan wasn’t there yet, so I snagged a seat at the bar and ordered some drinks.
Ivy and Todd were already warming up on the dance floor.
Apparently, on Friday’s they had couples dancing contests.
I shook my head at the thought—internally cringing.
Ivy clearly left out that tidbit of information when telling me to come with them tonight.
With my luck, I’d get stood up and end up third wheeling it while they made lovey-dovey eyes on the dance floor. Honestly, the four-mile walk to my apartment may not be that bad.
However, before I could get too deep into my pity party and planning how I’d get back, I heard the stool next to me slide across the floor and felt someone sit down on it.
I knew it was him without even looking. The man had an aura about him that screamed masculine intensity.
You’d think after everything in my past, that would set me off and I’d feel anxious around him, but really, I just felt safe.
Which, once again, made little sense to me logically.
I finally conjured up the nerve and looked over at him.
He was dressed similarly to last night: dark jeans, black t-shirt, black cowboy boots, and light scruff.
Only instead of the backward baseball cap, he had on a black cowboy hat tonight.
A few silver rings adorned his fingers, and I noticed the tattoos down his arm actually continued to his hand.
I could make out what looked like trees and mountains along his forearm, but that was it between his shirt and the dim lighting.
“So, little angel, couldn’t wait to see me, huh?” He was leaning in toward me, speaking quietly, as if the words were just for the two of us. Maybe they were. Was that romantic, or was it a play out of his book of “Don’t Do Commitment?”