6. Blended Into the Background
BLENDED INTO THE BACKGROUND
R owan
I was sitting on the back tailgate of my oldest brother's pickup truck, drinking from a bottle of water, deep in thought about what the hell I was going to do. We’d spent most of the day getting all the animals fed and out for their daily exercise before Oliver and I had started riding around fixing up the fencing posts around the edges of the property.
That had kept my mind pleasantly busy, but now I was sitting still, and my mind was taking full advantage of it.
Did I sneak out after Aspen and I had an earth-shattering night together? Absolutely. Did I feel guilty as hell? Absolutely. Was this very new for me? Abso-fucking-lutely.
Looking out over the rolling green fields and the snowcapped Rocky Mountains that our ranch rolled into, I couldn’t help but feel at peace despite the turmoil my brain was going through.
Yes, working the ranch with my brother was a great deal of work most days, but this place had been in our family for six generations, and I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else.
I glanced over at my brother as my mind pulled back to the one woman I could see doing this with me—forever.
I internally cursed myself, forcing a deep breath out through my nose.
I didn’t know why she affected me the way she did.
I had fully expected to go out with her last night, and decide she wasn’t right for me.
Maybe go home with her if she was interested and then be over it.
Onto the next task. Especially when she made it clear she was looking for something casual.
It all felt too perfect with her. Everything flowed a little too easily.
Did that happen, though? Did I feel sick or annoyed by anything she did last night? No. Not at all. If anything, last night had just intensified my need to get to know her better. To hold onto her as long as I could—as long as she’d let me.
“Do you ever think of dating again?” I asked my brother. He looked over at me, one eyebrow up, clearly baffled as to why this was my sudden line of questioning.
He looked down at his boots for a moment—lost in thought or maybe just gathering them.
“No. Since I lost Emily, I don’t know. I just don’t feel that pull toward sharing my life with anyone.
Would it be nice for Hudson to have a mother figure in his life again?
Of course. But it just hurts too much most days.
He’s got Mom and Payton, and I’ve got him, the ranch, and our family.
” He shrugged one shoulder and ran his fingers through his hair before placing his hat back on his head.
Oliver lost his wife when Hudson was three years old to breast cancer.
Hudson was nine now, and he hadn’t ever tried to date anyone since losing her that I was aware of—not even the casual hook up to blow off some steam.
I couldn’t fathom being with anyone long-term like that, just from watching Mom suffer after our dad passed away.
Watching Oliver do it all over again was another nail in the figurative coffin for me.
I couldn’t imagine how Oliver felt, losing the woman he loved and the mother of his child as quickly as he did.
“Why do you ask? Payton isn’t trying to set me up again, is she?” he groaned, dismay clear on his face at the idea of our sister and her never-ending need to play matchmaker with the four of us. She’d thankfully given up on me a long time ago.
I laughed. “Nah, man. Nothing like that. I was just thinking about it. The dating world, I guess. Love. Whatever,” I said with a shrug.
I shouldn’t say the dating world, really.
Just one girl. Aspen . I had to bribe Damien to tell me her name after that first night at The Raven.
Thankfully, she lived in the apartment building he owned, so it was easy enough to figure out her name and address.
A bit on the stalker side of things, but easy.
She probably thought I was insane with the flowers, but I couldn’t help it.
Something about her drew me in, and I was utterly bewitched.
Maybe it was those baby blue eyes or her cute button nose.
I didn’t know, but I did know that when she invited me back out with Ivy and Todd, I couldn’t stand the thought of saying no to her—of potentially letting her down.
Last night had been nothing short of phenomenal in my opinion. The conversation, the dancing, and most definitely the rest of the night spent wrapped up with her in her bed.
I shook my head, trying to bring my thoughts back to the conversation and not how she looked with my cock down her throat or her leg up on my shoulder.
Taking another drink of my water, I looked over at Oliver.
He was, of course, still staring at me, probably expecting some sort of explanation, as if I had one to offer him, yet at the same time, maybe he could help me sort out my thoughts.
He was the only person in my life who was in a committed relationship during this lifetime.
“Look, I met this girl at the bar the other night when I was out with Theo and Wyatt. I got some asshole guy off of her, and she bought me a beer. I kinda…sent her flowers and then we went out last night.” I rubbed the back of my neck and shrugged, deciding to leave out the part about sex and me being insanely obsessed already.
Trying to come off as nonchalant wasn’t exactly my thing.
Really, I would just sound like a basket case who was stalking this chick if he had all the details.
And yes, maybe I followed her and Ivy back to Ivy’s place that first night.
Maybe I delivered her flowers myself instead of paying the delivery fee because I was desperate to see exactly where she lived with my own eyes.
But not in a stalking way—more in a “ just had to make sure you made it home safe ” kind of way.
In a “ just wanted to know for future reference where your apartment was ” sort of way.
I sighed, looking over again. He was still just staring at me. “Are you going to say something?” I asked, my voice rife with impatience.
Oliver just shook his head at first and then finally spoke.
“I’ve decided I’m not going to touch this one with a ten-foot pole.
This is all you. But I will say, if you really want info on someone before you get in too deep, we have another brother for that.
” He gave me a strange look and then took a drink of his beer before walking away to continue cleaning up from the day.
“Oh, Oliver. You are a goddamn genius!” I hollered back to him.
Pulling out my phone, I sent Wyatt a quick text.
Me: I need a favor.
Wyatt: You need a favor from me? Oh, this should be good.
I could hear the sarcasm in his tone and see the smirk on his face in my mind, clear as a summer morning on the ranch.
Me: Remember the girl from the other night? I need everything you can find on her. ASAP.
Wyatt: Everything everything??
Me: …
Me: Uhm…yes? Whatever you can find.
Wyatt: Ok. I’ll have it all brought over in about an hour.
I sent him a thumbs up and went to put my phone away, but then it beeped again. Looking down, I realized it was a text from my girl.
Aspen: Hey! I just wanted to say thanks for last night. I had a lot of fun, and I appreciate you not pressing the whole ‘serious’ vibes on me. I needed the casual fun more than I realized.
I smiled as I read the message a third time. Oh, there was that casual thing again, but that was fine. She’d find out soon—I’d show her.
We were just getting started, my little angel and I.
Oliver and I had dropped a few bulls off for the rodeo in town, handing the reins, so to speak, over to a few of our ranch hands for the evening.
We’d sent them to deal with the animals tonight, so we were free from the normal rodeo work obligations.
My body was tired, but I walked up the steps into my home, eager to see Wyatt and find out what he’d learned about my little angel.
My family had split up our land on the ranch, giving each of us a handful of acres to build on when we were old enough.
Everyone had built a house on their portion of land except Payton, who stayed in town to be closer to her work at the hospital.
The rest of us were all close, but not so close that we were on top of each other.
Everyone’s house varied from a few minutes’ walk to a few minutes’ drive from the main house where Oliver and Hudson lived.
My house was a two-story craftsman-style log cabin tucked back into the trees.
It had stone accents on the pillars around the front porch and the fireplace, and plenty of windows around the entire place to let in tons of natural light.
I loved being outdoors, but in the Colorado mountains, it eventually was too damn cold to be out there longer than necessary.
So, natural light, most of the year, was the next best thing I could do.
The first level was the living room, an open kitchen, a bathroom, and one bedroom I used more as a gym.
While the second level had the master bedroom and bath, a third bedroom, and another bathroom.
When I had it built, having this many bedrooms seemed like a good plan, but now it just seemed big since I stayed alone and didn’t bring anyone but family here.
Wyatt was already inside, lounging on my brown leather sofa with a manila folder sitting on my coffee table and a beer in his hand. He glanced over at me as I walked in and kicked my boots off.