15. Glue You Back Together
GLUE YOU BACK TOGETHER
R owan
I was so nervous, I was sure I could pull over and puke on command. Which was insane. I’d never been nervous about shit before. Getting on the back of a two-thousand-pound bull? No issues. Riding that bull in front of a thousand people, trying to stay on? Again—no anxiety. Just excitement.
But trying to impress Aspen? Trying to show her I was serious about this relationship, and I wanted this with her by my side? It was taking everything in me to be chill and relaxed.
Our date was carefully planned out, and I had all the things in the back seat.
I was just hoping she’d like it. I had no idea what her dating life had been like before me, aside from bits of her shitty ex, but it wasn’t anything fancy or over the top.
It was a bit of each of us meshed into an evening, so it felt sentimental.
My hope was that I could show her that we worked— we meshed.
As I turned off the main road and up the small dirt trail, I felt her eyes land on me. “Where exactly are you taking me? Do I need to remind you that Ivy knows where I am?” she laughed, but it was tinged with a nervous energy. Part of me was pleased she was clearly as nervous as I was.
“Don’t panic, little angel. I didn’t bring you all the way here for anything nefarious.
I mean—unless you want nefarious this evening, then just let me know.
” I winked with a smile and slid my eyes back to the trail as I drove us up toward where my family’s barn sat.
“We’re currently on my family’s ranch. I live on the opposite side.
This side is what we use more for most of the animals.
My brother, Oliver, lives not far from here.
” I nodded toward the building coming up in front of us.
“When my siblings and I got older, my mom decided to split up the land and give us each a couple of acres to live on. Since Oliver is the one who runs it full-time, he took the main house.”
I slid the truck into park and released a breath. I needed to just be honest, maybe she’d appreciate my honesty. Or she’d think I was pathetic and bail out on me, demanding I drive her back down the hill and into town.
“What’s on your mind, cowboy?” Aspen asked.
“I’m nervous as fuck…I’ve never done this before, which seems to be an upticking trend with you, I fear.”
“Wow. I’m getting all the firsts. You’ve never taken a girl to your family barn? Is this where you hide the bodies?” I looked over to find her smiling at me. She was making a joke, and I’d never been more thankful to see her smile.
I shook my head. “No, little angel. Although we’ll chat about that smart mouth of yours later. I’ve never planned a date and taken a woman out like this. I’ve never wanted something like this to work out, Aspen, and fuck, do I want this to work.”
She doesn't respond for a moment. “Well, let’s see the big grand plan then, cowboy.”
I smiled and nodded my head, pushing down the nerves. Opening my door, I grabbed my backpack from the back seat and then jogged over to open her door for her.
I looked up in just enough time to glimpse the light blush scatter across her cheeks. “I wasn’t sure if I should just get out myself, or if you were into the whole “ knight and shining armor ” routine.”
“Very much into the savior vibes with you, little angel,” I replied.
The blush deepened, and I mentally patted myself on the back. I tossed the backpack on my back and held her hand while she stepped down from the truck.
“So where to?” she asked.
I started guiding us toward the barn where a few of our horses resided. As we walked toward the back of the barn, I stopped at Cash’s stall. He was an Appaloosa horse—a stunning, solid white coat covered in small brown spots.
“This is Cash. We’ve had him almost my entire life.
He’s by far one of the sweetest horses you’ll ever meet.
” I reached over the stall door and rubbed his neck.
I had a very distinct feeling that Aspen had never been on a ranch before, let alone ridden a horse, so Cash felt like a safe bet.
She looked over at me, eyes wide, and I knew I was correct.
“I’m sorry…are we riding him?” she asked, the nerves clear in her voice.
“Well, where I want to take you would take far too long on foot, so yes.” My words didn’t seem to make her appear any less nervous.
“What’s wrong with right here? Or out there? The truck? In public? Where are we going exactly?” Aspen started rambling.
I set my hands on either side of her jaw. “Take a deep breath. Do you trust me?” She nodded her head. I leaned down, gently pressing my lips to hers as I felt her release a breath. “We’ll ride together. I won’t let you fall off. Don’t worry about it.”
She nodded her head and took a step backward while I opened Cash’s stall and saddled him up for the ride.
We weren’t going far, but it would be quite a hike on foot.
Especially if I wanted to get there before it was dark.
Hiking back down while it was dark wasn’t on my list of fun things to do this evening.
Especially when I knew Aspen wasn’t an experienced hiker either.
Once Cash was ready and out of the barn, I helped Aspen up in the saddle.
Little squeaks of panic from her pretty lips, and both of us were safely atop the horse.
I reached around her, holding onto the reins, and directed Cash to the spot I had planned, deep in my thoughts, hoping everything went the way I wanted it to.
“Okay, tell me something about you to get my mind off falling to my death below,” Aspen muttered.
Her hands were holding onto the horn of Cash’s saddle, her knuckles white from how hard she was gripping.
I bit back a smile, not because she was nervous, but because of the outlandish belief I would ever let her get hurt.
“I rode my first horse when I was four years old,” I said after a thought.
“My dad taught me as soon as Mom started to waver on letting me in the saddle. He took me out on Cash, actually. Sat me like we are now, and we rode all throughout the trails of this mountain.” I swallowed back the emotions threatening to bombard me like they always did when I thought about my father.
Aspen looked back over her shoulder at me, as if she could feel the emotions rolling off of me. “He sounds like he was an amazing dad.”
I nodded. “He was the absolute best. Kind, gentle, but strong. He was the head of our family, and it was a role he said was the most important job in his life. But he never made us feel like we were a job, ya know? You’d think with Mom and him having five of us, someone would get lost or feel left out somehow, but we never did.
He knew how to love all of us exactly how we needed to be loved. ”
She settled back against my chest, and I tightened my arms around her hips as I gripped the reins. “I’m glad you had him, Rowan. I think he’d be proud of you.”
I didn’t respond. Not because I didn’t have anything to say, but because it didn’t feel as if a response was needed. I knew talking about my dad like that brought up her father in her mind, and if she wanted to talk about him, we would. But I wouldn’t push her.
Roughly thirty minutes into the ride, I realized one small detail I had never thought about.
What it would be like to have Aspen pressed against me throughout this entire ride.
She had slowly started to relax as we talked about random things, but for the most part, she was still nervous.
Which meant she had a habit of pressing herself back into my arms, and every bump on this goddamn trail had her backside rubbing against my crotch.
“How are you feeling?” I asked, trying to force my brain into thinking about anything other than how amazing she’d look while I took her from behind.
This was supposed to be about wooing her.
Showing her I was real and not fucking with her feelings.
I needed my brain to catch up on the game plan and my dick to stand the fuck down—literally.
“Well, the horse part doesn’t scare me as much anymore. But that could also be because I’ve got your hard-on pressed against my back to distract me,” she replied.
I released a cough to try to cover up the audible gasp that somehow managed to slip from my lips. “Was trying to be less obvious about it. I apologize.”
She looked back at me, a smile gracing her lips. “I’m not offended, Rowan. I just can’t imagine it’s all that comfortable back there for you right now.”
I rubbed the back of my neck and shrugged.
Thankfully, we were finally at the spot I had everything planned out in my head for her.
I no longer needed to continue this train of thought aloud with her.
The last thing I wanted was to push these thoughts any further.
I navigated Cash over to a nearby tree and hopped down, tying the reins onto a nearby branch.
Helping Aspen down, I gently pulled her towards the nearby overlook.
“So, is this the part where I get to hear the plan of action for tonight, or is it still all a mystery?” Aspen asked once I finally stopped.
Dropping her hand, I pulled off my backpack and unzipped it. “I thought it could be fun to have some snacks and enjoy the view.”
“I’m not getting naked out here, Rowan Carragan,” she said, her tone very matter-of-fact.
Now it was my turn to blush as I cleared my throat.
“While I’m not against you getting naked out in the woods with me, that wasn’t exactly what I meant.
” I pulled out a blanket, spreading it evenly on the ground, and then emptied the rest of my bag.
“I believe these are called charcuterie boards? No idea why. It seems like a big kid Lunchable to me, but if the fancy name makes us feel better about snacking, why not?” She laughed as I pulled out the other part of our date.
“Are those…paint supplies?” she asked, her eyes wide.