Chapter Eighteen
Aidan
The woman has me tied up in knots.
What the fuck is it about her that makes it impossible to keep my hands to myself?
Fuck, I almost kissed her that night at the pub.
For a moment there I thought she wouldn’t have minded if I had.
I think back on the way her breathing picked up when I invaded her private space.
The ball of elation that filled my chest when she didn’t step away from me should have set off big, fat warning bells inside me, but the building lust only intensified my longing for her instead.
I kept chanting silently to step back, but my feet were like cement.
I can’t get the way her eyes darkened out of my mind, either. Was it the same desire I saw reflected back at me that I felt?
If only she didn’t live in the same bloody village as I do, it would be much easier to resist her.
But I shouldn’t keep daydreaming about her. I should stay far away from her. If I don’t, people will start gossiping, and I don’t want that.
I can’t say whether the catalyst was the altercation with Niall the other night or if I’m telling half-truths, but Maeve has had me wound up for so many nights that I wake up with a raging hard-on every morning now. And before the crack of dawn as well.
I groan on a long stretch when I check the time on my phone.
Being a farmer during harvest time means getting up and working before everybody else, but even though we’re getting closer to May, four a.m. is way too early. My throbbing cock says otherwise, but I ignore it.
I wipe my hands over my eyes to clear away the sleep and then reach for my phone again, checking it for messages.
I don’t know why, because who’d text me at this Godforsaken hour?
But as if they have a mind of their own, my fingers find my thread with Maeve.
The urge to send her a message is so strong that I tighten my grip on my phone.
But why would I text her? I don’t have a good excuse to contact her, and not at this time of day.
I dismiss the idea and toss the phone down on my bed, but the distinctive vibration makes me pause, and I flip it back up.
MAEVE: We need to talk.
My eyebrows shoot up in surprise. Quickly, I shoot back a text.
ME: Good morning to you, too.
I scoot up in my bed and tap my fingers on the phone display as I watch the text bubbles appear.
MAEVE: Good morning.
ME: Not that I don’t enjoy talking with my friends, but I get the feeling you need me for something very specific.
MAEVE: There is. I’m headed out for my morning walk. Can I stop by?
This is interesting. Odd, but interesting.
ME: Meet me at the stables in fifteen?
MAEVE: See you soon.
Frowning, I toss the duvet off and head into my ensuite bathroom. It has to be something extremely important that has Maeve sending me messages at the crack of dawn, but I push down the excitement in my gut and get ready to meet her.
Even though I don’t usually let Katie have a sleepover on a school night, I’m glad I caved this time when she asked to stay with her best friend last night.
The moment I step outside my home, the optimistic early morning light has disappeared, giving way to grey clouds and a whirling wind that makes me shiver.
I set off in a light jog and run towards the stables, trying to ignore that the incessant pounding in my chest has more to do with Maeve than the weather.
I’m resolved to push away the excitement, but her needing to see me has me more curious.
I promised her to be her friend, and that’s all I’m going to be.
Even if the sight of her waiting in the stables makes my cock grow hard in an instant, and I come to an abrupt stop.
Her back is to me, her long, wavy hair up in a high ponytail, and her profile turned halfway towards me.
Her eyes are closed while her mouth moves in silence, as if she’s talking to herself.
I scan her from head to toe while my lungs clog up.
I shouldn’t get affected by what she’s wearing, but a shot of lust hits me, and it hits me so fucking hard that I ball my hands into fists.
It strikes me that this is the first time I’ve seen Maeve wear anything besides jeans, a shirt, and a knitted cardigan.
The sight of her in a royal blue, one-piece running suit that clings to her delectable curves from the top of her thighs and up to the middle of her back, thin spaghetti straps on her strong shoulders holding the suit up, throws the wind right out of my lungs.
Her revealing creamier skin than I’ve seen yet is enough to throw my earlier resolve out the window, swept away by the angry wind and forgotten.
I lick my lips, suppressing the groan that I want to release.
I wish her skin was mine to kiss, mine to taste, mine to possess.
I hold myself back, yet all I want is to pull her to me and feel her heat all around me.
The curve of her slender neck and bare shoulders, a string of thin fabric the only thing hiding all of her from me, makes my mouth go dry.
Her arms are bare, revealing pale, toned muscles that are covered in freckles, and I clench my teeth.
I should say something to her instead of staying here, hidden away in the shadows.
Watching her like a creep is not my kind of kink.
My eyes trail down her back, my cock throbbing as they land on her arse and the crack between her buttocks.
This is it. I’m gone. So fucking gone.
“Mae,” I call out low so as not to startle her.
She opens her eyes and turns around to face me.
But now I wish she hadn’t, because when she does, I get my first look of her breasts riding high behind her suit.
If I thought I was in trouble before, I was wrong. Because now, I’m absolutely going to have to fight hard to keep my hands off her.
Possibly the fight of my life.
“Hi.”
I swallow hard. “Hello.”
“Thank you for meeting me.” She shrugs. “I didn’t realise the time when I texted you. I hope I didn’t wake you.”
I shake my head. “You didn’t. I was awake already.”
She clasps her hands in front of her, and I examine her closely as the silence grows between us.
“You wanted me here,” I prompt. “Now, you have me.”
Her cheeks turn pink, and I realise the double meaning in my words, but it’s too late to take them back. A part of me doesn’t want to.
She squares her shoulders. “I did, yes. Roísin kept texting me last night, asking if there’s anything going on between us.”
“Nothing’s going on. I thought we agreed on that.”
She nods. “I know, and I said as much, but then she also said that the way we acted in the pub made people start talking. That’s not what we want, is it?”
She takes a step closer, and I retreat before I can stop myself.
She arches an eyebrow but doesn’t comment.
“Answer me, Aidan.”
“No, we don’t want that,” I rasp thickly.
“Then why do you keep acting as if you do?”
My gaze drops to her mouth. “I don’t mean to act like that, but…”
“But what?”
I shake my head. “I don’t know, but I can’t seem to stop. I like you. Do you like me?”
Her lips twitch, and there’s laughter dancing in her eyes, hypnotising me. But there’s something else, too. Something darker, though I can’t put my finger on it. But I can’t look away, either.
“Yes. I like you.” She nibbles on her lower lip, drawing my attention back to the need in my cock.
I clear my throat, trying to beat back the harsh scrape of it, but it’s bloody hard when all she has to do is breathe and I want to fall to my knees and worship her.
“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable the other night.”
She takes another step towards me. “You didn’t. Not really. But I think you’re blurring the lines, however unintentional. That’s partly the reason I wanted to come by.”
I tilt my head at her and mirror her movements. As we draw closer to each other like two magnets undeniably drawn together against our will, I force my hands to relax at my sides.
“Tell me.”
She mirrors my movements until we’re so close that our chests almost touch. The air hums with anticipation and want, and it’s a want that’s becoming difficult to ignore.
“I see something in your eyes when you look at me,” she murmurs.
I’m scared to ask, but I can’t hold the words back. “What do you see?”
She takes a deep breath, eyes searching my face for something. “You want me.”
Fuck.
“Who’s the direct one now?”
She shrugs. “I don’t want any misunderstandings between us. I think you want me. The question is, are you going to do anything about it?”
I huff out a laugh at her bluntness.
“Do you want me to?”
“I might.”
It’s my turn to release a juddering sigh. “I have a question for you.”
She raises her chin. “What question?”
“Do you think of me?”
I’m both scared and eager to know her answer.
“Yes.”
“How often do you think of me?”
She raises her hands to lie flat on my chest. “Often.” She cranes her neck, her eyes skittering across my face, and my heart rate picks up. It feels like I’m standing at the edge of a cliff. Do I jump or walk away from the stormy sea that’s bound to rock my existence to smithereens?
But it doesn’t feel like a choice anymore.
My fall is inevitable.
“In what way do you think of me?”
A soft sigh falls from her throat, so sweet and sexy that I shudder.
“In all the ways I shouldn’t when we’re just friends.”
I can’t resist touching her for another second. I raise my hands and slide them up her shoulders, then up to frame her face. Her skin is soft and warm, and her cheeks still burn that beautiful shade of pink. Her eyes darken to a deep moss green as she holds me captive.
“If you think of me as often as I think about you, we have a problem.”
The words scrape my throat, my voice a mere rasp.
Her gaze drops to my lips, and my breath stutters. “Why do we have a problem?”
“Because I want you more than I’ve wanted anyone in a really long time, Mae. Wanting you this much scares the fuck out of me. And I can’t have you.”
There. I’ve said the words that have been burning in my chest for weeks.
“What if I say I want you, too? That I dream of you every night and wake up so turned on that I ache for you?”