29. Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Maeve
Ishouldn’t have let Aidan buy me dinner the other night. I really shouldn’t.
I don’t care what he said: he’s blurring the lines.
I was just too weak to turn him down.
But I have to hand it to him: the fish and chips were some of the best I’ve ever had, so a part of me is glad that I accepted it.
The larger part, though, is still worried that we’re getting ourselves tangled up in more than we’re willing to own up to, and the last thing I need right now is more heartbreak.
I rest my hands on the sink and stare out the kitchen window.
What am I going to do with him?
Tell him that we need to take a step back?
Make the rules much clearer?
Stop seeing him?
A sharp pang settles in the centre of my chest, the fierce ache too close to my heart for comfort. I wipe my hands on the towel next to me and narrow my eyes, trying to decipher my feelings as if they’re letters scattered here and there in a crossword puzzle.
When did I start caring so much for Aidan?
My heart stutters, making me catch my breath whenever I think about the things we get up to. It shouldn’t be so effortless to be friends with him and use him for a mutual satisfaction at the same time. I’ve never had that kind of relationship with a man.
I’ve never known that I could let myself fall so blatantly under such a sexually charged spell. I just know that he brings out every wicked side of me that I never knew existed, and I’m not ready to stop exploring it.
I’m not ready to stop exploring him.
I’m so lost in my daydreaming that the cheery knock on my front door makes me jump, and I look down to check that I haven’t dropped any mayo or jam on my yoga clothes before I start for the front door.
While I don’t really feel up for any visitors, I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m getting a touch of cabin fever now that I haven’t been around people for almost a week.
I remove the latch on the door, and the moment I open it, the warm scents of cinnamon and sugar waft in the air, and I groan. Roísin smiles as she dangles a brown paper bag under my nose.
“Let me guess.” I breathe deeply and make a grab for it. “Cinnamon buns?”
“Yup. And a mini rhubarb crumble for one. Maybe two?” She cranes her neck, her smile falling from her lips. “Are you alone?”
“Don’t sound so disappointed.” I take a step back and jerk my head, showing her to come inside. “But yes, of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I just thought that maybe Aidan had stopped by to check on you, that’s all.”
I give her a look.
“You know things aren’t like that with us.”
She follows me through my little hallway and enters the kitchen. I round the marble kitchen island and put the bag of her baked goods on it. She hangs her coat on the back of the barstool and tilts her head at me.
“I know, but the fact that he stayed with you when you were sick? I just assumed…”
“Never assume.”
She rolls her eyes at me. “Fine, I hoped that things had changed between you.”
I purse my lips and pick up the coffee pot with one hand and my new favourite ceramics mug with strawberries scattered all over it that I bought from Niamh at the festival.
I choose a cup with lemons and small dots for Roísin and set everything down on the kitchen island.
I let the silence settle between us, not in a hurry to share that I don’t think my friend is entirely wrong.
But I can’t tell her that as long as I don’t even know what’s going on yet.
“Well?”
“He was very sweet.” I smile at her, pour us both coffee, and put the pot down between us. I drag my eyes up to meet hers, worried she won’t believe me. “But we’re still the same. We use each other for sex, and we’re still friends. Nothing’s changed.”
“Hmm.” She jumps up on one of the barstools and makes a grab for the coffee. I raise my eyebrows as she gulps it down.
“Not that I’m not glad to see you, but what made you stop by today?”
She thrums her yellow fingernails on the mug.
“Oh, I had some time on my hands before meeting up with the knitting club and thought I’d stop by, see how you’re doing. Have you had time to check the dates I sent you for our girl time?”
I reach for my calendar and pick up the pen next to it. “Yes, I did, and I have next Saturday off, so that works.”
“Great!” She wiggles in her seat. “Because I wanted to ask how you feel about making a weekend out of it. We can rent a room at one of the hotels near the spa, go to a club, or order room service if that’s what you prefer.”
Excitement bubbles to the surface, and I scribble down our date on the right page as I think her idea through.
“It has been ages since I treated myself.” I sigh wistfully. “Okay, why not? Let’s do it.”
Roísin raises her hand, and I give it a light high five. “Fantastic.” She pulls out her phone and swipes like a madwoman. “I’ll make sure to book us something cosy but comfortable with just a little bit of luxury thrown in.”
I lean a hip on the counter, and we chat for a while longer until she has to leave for her meeting.
“Oh, before I forget,” I muse as I walk her to the door, “how’s your club coming along?”
“I’m just waiting for some brochures to arrive, and then I’m ready to start spreading the word about our first meeting.”
I grin down at her. “I can’t wait to see how many women turn up.”
“Hopefully, a great many think the same as you.” She reaches up to hug me. “By the way, the rhubarb mini cake can easily hold itself over until you meet up with Aidan again tomorrow.”
I shake my head at her exaggerated wink and swat at her arm. “Bye, sweetie.”
She gives me one last grin, and then she’s off.
My eyes automatically fall on the spot on my pathway where the beheaded chicken was laid out in the open, as it so often does, but then I shake my head and shut the door.
Nothing’s turned up in the investigation. Not even the smallest hint. I might not be running the case, but the station’s so small that it’s been easy for me to pick up my colleagues talking about it when I pass them in the corridors. At least it hasn’t ruined how I feel about living here.
I won’t let it do that to me. I can’t let one act ruin how I feel about my temporary home, so I push the thought out of my mind and lock the door, then I head down to the basement.
Even though I hate it with every fibre of my being, I have a date with the home gym.
“Mae?”
I puff, forcing my already trembling abs to lift me to a sitting position on the mat.
“In the basement!”
Sweat courses down my forehead, and I gulp down water while I try to ignore the strain in my arms. I cock my head at the sound of running feet on the stairs, and my heart does that familiar belly flip at the sight of Aidan when he walks through the door.
I blink at him, my already parched throat growing as dry as sandpaper.
He looks good enough to eat in his white T-shirt that clings to his muscles like a second skin, and the black jeans covering his muscled legs are my new favourite.
Whatever he’s wearing is my favourite. Full stop.
“What are you doing here?”
His lips spread in a wide smile, revealing the dimples, and it shoots straight like an arrow. “Just wanted to see you.”
I raise my eyes, cocking my head in suspicion. “How did you get in?”
He crouches down in front of me, his eyes darkening as he rakes them over me.
The low tug in my belly moves even further south to settle between my legs, and the air crackles between us.
It’s impossible to ignore the simmering tension between us.
I don’t even want to pretend I don’t want him every time I set my eyes on him.
“The same way as last time. I climbed through your window.” He bites down on his lower lip. “Should I be worried that you don’t take your own safety more seriously?”
I shake my head.
“No, but it sounds like I need to check my windows before I leave one of the rooms. And…” I sigh and raise my hand to his face, rubbing it over the stubble on his cheek. “You need to ring the doorbell instead of breaking into my cottage.”
He trails his fingers softly over my cheeks, his thumb lingering so close to my lips I have to battle the urge to kiss it.
His eyes linger on mine for the longest time, studying me carefully.
His lips part before pressing together again, and the charged energy between us crackles in the room.
The longer the silence stretches between us, the more my skin prickles.
Finally, Aidan opens his mouth to speak. “I think I need a key and the code to your alarm.”
I widen my eyes, momentarily winded by his suggestion. “What?” I whisper.
“I think I’ve earned it. Besides,” he leans closer and frames my face, “that way, I can surprise you when you least expect to see me. Might urge me to get a bit creative with you if I want to.”
He leans closer and settles his lips on top of mine, keeping his eyes open.
Even though the kiss is soft, I feel his touch everywhere.
Goosebumps race across my skin as it zings me, and tingles erupt in my scalp.
He leans away but keeps his fingers on my skin, his thumbs tracing patterns on my cheeks in the softest of touches.
“What do you say?”
I take a deep breath and release it slowly.
“Let me think about it. Please?” I wet my lips, needing him to give me the time I need.
Deep down, I feel the telltale sign of my instincts waking up.
There’s no doubt in my mind that this moment is pivotal to us both.
That we’re headed into territory that falls out of the safe box we’ve kept our relationship locked inside so far.
Am I really ready for this?
Aidan seems to sense the need for control, because although his gaze remains fierce, the slow smile softens, and my belly erupts with butterflies.
“Sure. I can do that, Mae.”
“Thank you.” I loop my arms around his neck and smile at him, aiming to lighten the mood. “I’m glad you stopped by. Gives me the perfect excuse to stop the hell I’m in and treat myself to a bubble bath.”