Chapter 3 #2
Her face tightened. I eased the pressure immediately. “I’m sorry.”
Maia looked past me. Her eyes searched the doorway. “Irelia?”
My hands stopped. I couldn’t say it. I didn’t have to. Maia’s face collapsed. Her eyes closed.
“She was already gone when they found her.” A tear slipped silently into Maia’s hair.
“And Nara. The bakery came down on her.” Maia made a small sound.
That was all. No comforting words. No reassurance that Nara had chosen it or Irelia hadn’t suffered.
There was nothing to say that could make any of it less true.
I bowed my head over our joined hands. “I couldn’t save them. ”
Maia’s thumb moved weakly against my skin.
“I had all that power and I couldn’t—”
“Lyra.” I looked at her. “Not yours.”
Two words. That was all she had breath for. My face crumpled.
“Then whose is it?” Maia didn’t answer. Her eyes had closed again. “Maia?”
A shallow breath. Then another. I wiped the blood from the corner of her mouth. Her eyes opened. They dropped to my wrists. To the raw places where both protection cords had broken. “The light.”
“I don’t know what happened.” Her gaze moved toward the window. West. I followed it. The ridge was barely visible through the smoke. “There was something out there when it happened. I felt it.”
Maia’s hand tightened suddenly around mine. It was the strongest she had been since I entered the room.
“Hunger,” I whispered. “It felt like hunger.”
Fear entered her eyes.
“Maia?” She tried to speak. Nothing came. “Don’t. Save your strength.”
Her fingers dug weakly into mine. “Forest.”
I leaned closer. “What?”
Her lips barely moved. “I found you.”
My heartbeat stumbled. “What about when you found me?” Her eyes drifted shut. “Maia.” I touched her face. “Open your eyes.”
It took several seconds. When she did, they were unfocused. “Stars,” she breathed.
I stared at her. “What stars?”
“So many.”
My chest tightened. I bent until my ear was almost against her mouth. “The night you found me?” A tiny nod.
“The starriest night I’d ever seen.” The sentence cost her. I heard it in the wet hitch of her next breath.
“Don’t talk anymore.” But Maia was already somewhere else. Nineteen years ago. Her eyes remained fixed beyond me.
“Crying.”
I swallowed. “You heard me crying?” Another tiny nod.
“At the edge of the trees.” I knew that part. She had told me where she found me before. Never like this.
“Was anyone there?” Her head moved once. No. “Did you see who left me?” No. “Anything?” Her lips parted. “You were wrapped in cloth.”
“Was there anything with me?” Maia looked at me.
Maia’s eyelids fluttered. “Just the cloth you were wrapped in.”
“Did you know where I came from?” Her breathing had become frighteningly shallow. “Maia?” Her eyes moved toward the window again. West.
“Always knew.”
A chill crawled over my skin. “Knew what?” Her lips moved. I couldn’t hear her. I leaned closer. “What did you know?”
“Not from here.”
“I know. You found me outside Edenlo.”
Her fingers tightened. “No.”
My heart stopped. Maia looked toward the ridge. Understanding came slowly, then all at once. “Not Edenlo?”
Her eyes found mine. “No.”
My mouth went dry. “You mean…” I couldn’t finish. Maia didn’t need me to. Her gaze returned west. Toward the Veil.
A tiny nod. The room seemed to disappear around us. “How?” Maia’s eyes closed. “How did you know?”
“I always knew.”
“That doesn’t make any sense.”
“I know.” Her breath rattled. Fear went through me. But I had too many questions now. They crowded behind my teeth until they hurt. “Why didn’t you tell me before now?”
Maia’s eyes opened once more. “I wanted…” She stopped. Her chest struggled for another breath.
“You wanted what?”
Her fingers moved against mine. “Safe.”
My eyes burned. “You thought not knowing would keep me safe.” A tiny nod. I looked toward the broken window. Edenlo burned beyond it. Irelia lay dead in the next room. Nara was beneath what remained of her bakery. I looked back at Maia. “It didn’t.”
Pain moved across her face. I regretted it instantly. “I’m sorry.”
Her fingers slipped from mine. I caught them.
“No. Maia.” Her eyes were barely open now. “Stay with me.”
She pulled in a ragged breath.
“Please.”
Another.
Too long before the next.
“You are all I know,” I whispered. “You are all I have left. You don’t get to just leave.”
Maia’s lips moved. I leaned closer.
“Mine.”
I froze.
“What?” Her eyes found me. For one final moment, they were clear. “Always mine.”
A sob tore out of me. I pressed her hand against my cheek. Her thumb moved once beneath my eye. Then stopped.
“Maia?” Her chest rose. Fell one last time and did not rise again. “No.” I waited another second. “Maia.” Nothing. I put my fingers against her throat. Nothing. “No.” I pressed harder. Nothing. I knew. I still tore the soaked bandage away. I still put both hands over the wound. I still pressed.
“Pressure first.”
Blood seeped between my fingers.
“Pressure first.” Harder. “Maia.” Nothing.
“Please.” I bent until my forehead touched her chest. There was no heartbeat beneath it.
No breath. Only warmth already beginning to leave.
I stayed there anyway. Nara had died beneath her bakery.
Irelia had died before anyone could reach her.
Maia died beneath my hands. Hours earlier, I had refused to choose which person I loved would live.
The impossible had answered me. And the world had taken them anyway.
Eventually, I lifted my head. Through the broken window, I could see the western ridge.
Beyond it lay the Veil. I had spent my entire life asking Maia what was on the other side.
She had spent my entire life refusing to tell me that she believed the answer was me.
I looked down at her hand inside mine. Someone had carried me to the edge of that forest nineteen years ago.
Wrapped me in plain cloth. Left me beneath a sky drowning in stars. No crest. No letter. No explanation.
I didn’t know whether whoever left me had loved me.
I didn’t know whether they had been saving me.
I didn’t know whether they had abandoned me.
I didn’t know if Maia had been right about where I came from.
But I knew what I had felt when the light erupted from my body.
Beyond the western ridge, an awareness had turned toward me.
Ancient. Hungry. It had noticed me the moment my light touched the dark.
And now there was no Maia left to ask what any of it meant.