Chapter 26 #3
For a moment, neither of us spoke. Then I remembered the Queen. “You recognized her.”
A beat passed before he answered. There. Barely anything. But I caught it. “The Queen.”
He stood.
Of course he did.
Whenever a conversation wandered too close to whatever he kept locked inside himself, Kieran moved as though distance could solve the problem. He started toward the door. “Kieran.”
He kept walking.
“Tell me what you know.”
I pushed myself from the bed.
Bad decision.
My injured thigh gave almost immediately. Kieran turned, crossed the space between us, and caught me before I reached the floor. One arm went around my waist. The other closed around my elbow. My palms landed against his chest.
Again.
Always touching when we were trying hardest not to. “Careful.”
“Answer me.”
“You can barely stand.”
“I’m standing.”
“Because I’m holding you.”
I ignored that. “Those women. You knew what they were.”
“I suspected.”
“Which is?”
His jaw tightened.
“Kieran.”
“The Crucible didn’t create them.” His green-gray eyes held mine. “You did.”
“I know.”
His gaze sharpened. “How?”
“The Codex.”
His grip tightened slightly. Not enough to hurt. Enough that I noticed. “What did it say?”
I went completely still.
He stared back.
My heartbeat gave one hard thud. “You didn’t ask.”
His brows drew together. “What?”
“What the Codex was.” I waited. “You didn’t ask what I meant. You asked what it said.”
Cold moved through me. “How do you know about the Codex?”
“Lyra—”
“How?”
He released me slowly. “I know what it is.”
The answer hit harder than it should have. Of course he did. I stepped away from him, ignoring the pain in my thigh. “Of course you do.”
“Lyra.”
“No.” I shook my head. “You don’t get to do this.”
“Do what?”
“Ask me for every answer I have while giving me pieces of yours whenever you decide I’ve earned one.”
His jaw tightened.
“You know things.”
Silence.
That was answer enough. I turned away. “Get out.”
“Lyra.”
“I said get out.”
I made it one step before my leg buckled again. Kieran caught my arm before I hit the floor. I tore it away the second I was steady. “At some point, you’re going to have to stop catching me and answer a fucking question.”
“At some point, you’re going to have to stop trying to walk on a leg that’s bleeding through its bandage.”
“That has nothing to do with this.”
“It has quite a lot to do with the fact that you’re about to fall over.”
“I’m capable of standing.”
“You just proved otherwise.”
I glared at him. He stared back. The argument sat between us for a second before the real one returned. “Do you know what Starborn means?”
For the first time, his composure slipped. Not recognition exactly. A flash of reaction vanished before I could name it.
“Kieran.”
“I know the word.”
My stomach tightened. “That isn’t what I asked.”
“It’s the answer I’m giving you.”
Anger flared again. “Why?”
“Because I don’t know enough to give you another one.”
I stopped.
That answer I hadn’t expected.
He looked toward the door.
“What do you know?”
“Enough to know the Codex doesn’t speak without purpose.”
“That sounds like more than nothing.”
“It is.”
“Then tell me.”
His eyes returned to mine. “No.”
There it was. The refusal. Clean and simple. My hands curled. “You are unbelievable.”
“I’ve been told.”
“Get out.”
This time he listened. He reached the door and rested one hand on the latch.
“Kieran.”
He paused.
“You’re going to tell me eventually.”
Slowly, he looked back. “So are you.”
I frowned. “Tell you what?”
“What the Codex said.”
“Maybe.”
His mouth almost curved. “Terrible liar.”
He opened the door, then his gaze betrayed him once more. Down. Bare legs. Back to my face. His jaw tightened. “Lock the door after me.”
I stared at him. “That’s what you’re going with?”
“Yes.”
Coward.
He stepped into the corridor.
I called after him, “You know Vareena has the key.”
“I know.”
Then the door shut.
For several seconds, I stood there staring at it. “Asshole.”
You wanted him to kiss you.
My entire body went rigid. “Oh, fuck off.”
Silence.
Smug silence, somehow.
I limped back toward the bed, muttering things that would have made Maia deeply disappointed in me.
My ribs hurt. My thigh hurt. My mouth hurt.
Apparently my dignity had also sustained permanent damage somewhere between the Crucible and Kieran Nyxara kneeling between my knees.
I climbed beneath the blankets and stared at the ceiling, but it wasn’t Halos I thought about.
Not the projection. Not even Kieran’s hand against my Shadow rune or the way his voice changed when his magic touched mine.
It was the fraction of a heartbeat after I said the Codex. The complete absence of surprise on his face.
He knew. Not everything. Maybe not nearly enough. But more than he had ever admitted.
Since Kieran started training me, I had slowly convinced myself that he was the only person inside the Sanctum helping me find answers instead of trying to turn me into one. Tonight, for the first time, I wondered how many of those answers he had been standing beside all along.