10. Alina
TEN
ALINA
SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD
It’s been six months since Chase left for ETU. I’m crazy proud of him, but it would be a lie to say it isn’t hard. When he was leaving, he swore he would be back every single weekend, but I don’t think either of us realized how unrealistic that is. Between him working to pay for his apartment, and me teaching dance to toddlers at the local rec on the weekends, time—and gas money—has been difficult to come by.
I was planning to hop in my little Kia and drive up there at least once a month, but my folks said no way, no how could I go without a chaperone.
That’s where Jax comes in, I guess. I don’t know what he said to Mama, but she melted like butter and convinced Daddy that if Jax came along, it was okay to go. I about keeled over and died right there when they told me. Jax? A chaperone? I can’t believe it, but I’m not about to look a gift horse in the mouth.
Jax and I don’t know each other all that well. After our first disastrous meeting when I was a fresh-faced fourteen-year-old, we didn’t really talk much. He became Chase’s best friend, and since Chase was set on ignoring my existence, we ran in different circles.
We’re friends now, but it’s purely superficial so it’s strange being in a car with him without a buffer.
Jax has one hand on the wood-rimmed steering wheel, and the other on the gearshift. He’s relaxed, totally in his element, and I can see why he says cars are his calling.
“What are you thinking about so hard over there, Alina May?”
“What kind of car is this?” I look around the interior.
It sure is pretty.
When it comes to cars, I’m as dumb as a doornail, but I can feel the labor of love pouring out of these details.
He caresses the dash with his hand, the sun glinting off the blond hair on his knuckles. “Sixty-seven Mustang Fastback. She was my dad’s.”
“Oh.” I get quiet, nervous to venture into this topic with him. Last time, it didn’t go so well.
He peeks over at me, smirking. “It’s okay to bring up my dad, I’ve had time to work through my anger.”
“Oh, good. That’s…good.” I nod, still unsure what to say. Honestly, I’m not sure if I believe him.
The conversation subsides, falling into a comfortable silence. My head rests against the window, staring at the billboards cruising by, Tim McGraw serenading us through the speakers.
Jax turns the radio down, glancing over. “Let’s play twenty questions.”
I lift my head off the glass, angling my body toward his. “Okay, I’ll bite. Who goes first?”
“Ladies first, of course.” He tips his head.
I tap my finger on my chin, pursing my lips. “What’s that necklace you’re always messin’ with?”
He grabs the chain around his neck and pulls, two pieces of metal clanking together as they fall on top of his shirt. “Dad’s dog tags. He was a marine.”
“Oh, wow. That’s amazin’. Do you always wear ’em?” I lean over, getting a closer look.
“Never take them off. It makes me feel like a piece of him is still with me…guiding me, you know?” He shakes his head, his shaggy hair falling from where it was tucked behind his ears. “Shit, that probably sounds stupid.”
I have the dog tags in my hand now, thumb brushing over the raised lettering of his daddy’s name.
RHOADES,
JAMES A.
“No, not stupid. I think it sounds real, and real is beautiful, Jax.”
Emotion swirls in his eyes as he glances down at me before focusing back on the road.
I drop the tags. “Okay, next question. What’s your favorite food?”
His eyebrow quirks. “Isn’t it my turn? This is your third question in a row. That’s cheating.”
“You took too long, which means you forfeit your turn.”
He barks out a laugh. “You didn’t even give me a chance, woman!”
I lift my shoulders. “That sounds like a personal problem.”
He’s grinning now, sneaking peeks at me from his peripheral vision. “Crab rangoon. All. Day. Long.” His tongue peeks out to lick his lips, and he moans like he’s in the throes of passion.
My nose scrunches. “What’s that?”
“Don’t tell me you’ve never had crab rangoon, Alina.”
“Okay, I won’t tell you that.”
“That is entirely unacceptable.” He tsks. “We were just becoming friends, too. It’s really a shame.”
I laugh. “Well, I don’t know what you expect me to do about it right now .”
“Next Chinese restaurant I see, we’re stopping. No matter the time or place. I’ll give your mouth the best experience of its life.”
“Please, it can’t be that good.”
“Oh, Lee…sweetheart, you just wait and see.”
His happiness is infectious, and I face forward in my seat, trying to suppress my smile. I think I quite like being around Jackson Rhoades.
It’s another hour before we make it to Chase’s apartment right on the edge of ETU campus, and there’s a giddiness in my chest at the thought of seeing him. This is the first time I’ve been to where he lives. I reach in the back seat to grab my jacket.
It’s too dang cold in February.
Jax walks around to open my car door, and he puts out his arm, winking when I take it. “You ready to go see your man, sweetheart?”
We don’t get farther than the front sidewalk before Chase’s door swings wide, and a blond girl steps out, pausing to speak with someone just inside.
I stop in my tracks, pulling on Jax’s arm, confused. Do we have the wrong place?
My stomach flips and deep-dives when Chase follows her out, and she throws her arms around his neck, pulling him into a hug.
Okay, not the wrong place.
Flashes of our past play behind my eyes and that jealousy I haven’t felt in so long comes roaring back to life. It’s unwelcome, but I can’t say it’s not familiar.
Chase doesn’t really hug her back, and his lack of response calms me, just a little.
He looks up and spots us, a smile that’s only ever just for me lighting up his face. Stepping back from the blond, he briskly approaches. Excitement bounces around inside me, making it hard to stand still.
“Goldi,” he breathes, wrapping me in a hug, lifting me up and spinning me around. The jealousy recedes, replaced by the familiar warmth of being in Chase’s arms.
Jax waves his hand in front of our faces. “Oh hey, Chase. Nice to see you. Missed you, bro. Remember me? Jax. Chopped liver. Whatever name you prefer, really.”
Chase laughs, setting me down, keeping me tucked into his side as he gives Jax a chin nod.
The blond girl appears beside us, her light brown eyes focused on me. “Chase, these your friends from back home?”
“Yeah. This is my girlfriend, Lee, and my best friend, Jax. Guys, this is Lindsay, she’s in my Business and Professional Communications class. She was just dropping off some notes.”
Lindsay plasters a smile on her face—a little too wide to be genuine—and puts out her long, manicured fingers to shake my hand. “Nice to meet you. I didn’t know Chase had a girlfriend.”
My spine stiffens, but I hear Mama’s voice in my head telling me to be cordial, so somehow, I manage to keep the practiced grin on my face.
Jax must sense my irritation, because he chuckles, attempting to lighten the mood. “Typical Chase, keeping the best parts of his life all to himself. The greedy bastard.”
Chase pulls me closer into his side. “The best and biggest part of my life.” He drops a kiss on my forehead and gives Lindsay a look. “I’ve talked about Goldi. I mentioned last week she’d be coming up to stay the weekend.”
Lindsay puts a hand up to her forehead. “Oh, that’s right. It must’ve slipped my mind. We talk about so much, it’s hard to remember all the details.”
I know girls like this and can see her game from a mile away, but I’m not above marking my territory. I cup Chase’s face, his stubble scratching my fingers as I pull him down to meet my lips, teasing the tip of his tongue with mine before moving back.
“You’re the best and biggest part of me, too,” I whisper against his mouth.
He buries his face in my neck, his cold nose sending shivers down my back. “Goddamn, I’ve missed you.”
Jax glances over to Lindsay. “You coming with us on the ETU tour? Not really the best weather for it, but hey, ‘when in Rome,’ am I right?”
“No, no. I have things to do today. Like Chase said, I was just stopping by to give him a copy of my notes since he’s missing tonight’s study group.”
“Your study group meets on Friday nights?” Jax is incredulous, his face a picture of disbelief. “What the hell kind of college experience are you living, Chase? To say I’m disappointed would be a gross understatement.”
Chase lifts his head from my neck. “I’m not here to party, dumbass. I’m here to get a degree as fast as fucking possible so I can come home to what matters.” His hands creep down low on my back, fingertips slipping under the waistband of my jeans.
The air of confidence from Lindsay’s posture deflates, and satisfaction pours through me like wet concrete.
“All right, well, I’ll see you later, Chase,” she mutters.
Chase barely glances at her, mumbling a goodbye. His hand tangles with mine as he leads us up the sidewalk and to his apartment.
By the end of the weekend, I’ve already forgotten her.
I’ve been lost in the sights and sounds of the city, and the happiness that wraps my heart, making it beat out the rhythm of a love song.
“I don’t want you to go back,” Chase whispers into my hair.
I’m lying on top of him, our limbs entwined on his black leather couch, reveling in the peace that comes with his embrace. Jax is passed out in Chase’s bedroom, and this is the first time all weekend we’ve been alone. We managed to sneak in a few make-out sessions, but even though I told Chase I was ready to take that last step, he didn’t want to do it when Jax was in the other room. Said he wanted it to be special. Wanted to take his time.
“Bein’ away from you is harder than I expected.” I pout.
His arms tighten around me. “You aren’t second-guessing things, are you?”
“No way. You’re stuck with me for good, mister. I just miss you so much. We don’t get to see each other as often as I imagined.”
His fingers trail up and down my back, and he sighs. “It’s hard for me, too. Not being able to see you whenever I want is fucking torture.”
It is torture, but nothing compared to the torture of knowing he wasn’t mine. This is child’s play in comparison.
“Have you talked to Lily lately?” he asks.
My heart sinks. “Chase, she won’t even look at me when she passes me in the halls at school, and she dropped out of dance to avoid me.”
I’ve tried to talk to Lily a thousand different times. I thought after some space, she would have cooled off enough to hear my side of things, but there’s only so much verbal abuse a girl can take. Eventually, I stopped trying.
“She’s not answering my calls. Probably still pissed at me for leaving.” He sits up, bringing me with him, and runs a hand through his messy locks. “Can you try to get through to her again, for me? I need to know she’s okay, and I’ll feel better knowing you’re with her.”
I love Chase with every part of me, and that’s the only reason I agree.
For some reason, he’s blind when it comes to Lily. Too scared to see what’s right in front of him, maybe. He’s not willing to admit she treats me like trash, let alone that she’s off the rails and needs help. I just hope he doesn’t look back one day and regret how he’s handling things.
“Yeah, I’ll see about her when I get back home. But don’t get your hopes up, Chase, she really can’t stand the sight of me.”
He hums and smiles like I didn’t just tell him my best friend hates me because of us. “Thank you, baby.”
I kiss him, committing his touch to memory.
Who knows how long it will be until I get to feel it again.