Chapter 43
I held my phone up and turned in a full circle, giving one last view of the finished lobby of the new Ashbourne Investments office.
“So…what did you think?”
“It looks amazing, Morgan,” Lucas said from the other side of the screen—I just finished walking through the building to show him via video call. “I can’t wait to see it in person.”
“And I can’t wait for you to come home!” Callie’s voice chimed in as she popped her head into view.
I smiled. “You and me both. Don’t get me wrong, Miami has been great, but I miss sleeping in my own bed.”
“I bet.” Callie chuckled. “When is your flight?”
“Noon on Saturday.”
“Perfect. You’ll be up for going out, right?”
“Yeah,” I answered.
“Good. Because we’re turning Saturday night out into a welcome home celebration with everyone.”
My heart stuttered. “Everyone?”
“Yeah, well, like the usual gang,” Callie said. “And Suzie said your first round will be on the house.”
I nodded. “Can’t wait…”
When I returned to my hotel later that afternoon, I grabbed my suitcases from the closet and started packing a little.
I had one full day left in Miami, but tomorrow was pretty packed with going over final details with Brian, a meeting with Grace via video call, and Naomi and Marcelo taking me out for a goodbye dinner and drinks with their friends that night.
I found myself wishing it was Saturday already. I was ready to be home, but it was so much more than that now.
I wanted to see Wes.
I spent the last few weeks since my epiphany trying to figure out what the hell I was going to do.
I’d spent so long ignoring what was right in front of my face that it took me a few more days to truly wrap my head around my feelings for Wes.
Not just feelings—this wasn’t just some schoolgirl crush.
The last two years had been a progression of me slowly falling in love with him without even realizing it was happening. I came up with every excuse, stacking them on top of each other one by one to create this wall and not allow myself to see or feel it.
It was just a release.
It was because of our agreement.
It was because of us holding this secret.
We didn’t even like each other.
It was Wes.
That wall crumbled the moment I allowed myself to acknowledge that I missed him and why. I was accosted by all of the feelings I’d disregarded all at once. It was an overwhelming onslaught of realization.
I thought about reaching out once I finally grasped the depth of what I felt for him because I wanted to tell him.
I pulled up our message thread and typed out a greeting twenty different ways, but I never sent one.
We hadn’t spoken in two months. And this wasn’t a conversation I wanted to have via text message, no matter how appealing it sounded—I’d never been good with feelings of any kind and was someone who could articulate myself and what I was thinking better with written words.
I didn’t want to have this conversation over the phone at all, though.
If I was going to do this, it needed to be face-to-face… even if I was terrified.
My plan was to reach out once I got home to meet up, but now that Callie mentioned Saturday night, I supposed I could talk to him then. No, I didn’t verify that he would be there when she said “everyone,” but he was always there on Saturday nights.
I spent my Friday going through the building one more time with Brian, had my meeting with Grace, and then met up with Naomi and Marcelo that night.
When Saturday rolled around, I was more on edge than I ever remember being before. I was anxious to get home, but at the same time, I suddenly wanted to throw up at the idea.
On the flight from Miami to Charleston, I managed to talk myself out and back into having this conversation with Wes no less than three times. I did it again, at least twice, on the ferry ride back to Halloran.
By the time I made it back to my apartment, I needed to lie down.
I stepped into my room with my suitcases and shoved them to the side before walking to my bed and flopping down with a soft moan.
I missed my bed. I reached for one of my pillows and curled my arm around it, tucking it close as I closed my eyes.
When I took in a deep breath, I felt a flutter in my chest when the faint lingering scent of smoky amber and citrus that clung to my pillowcase tickled my senses.
Wes.
I nuzzled my face more into the pillow, feeling my nerves spike again.
I didn’t know what Wes felt, if anything at all.
When I thought back to all of the moments between us, to the moments when things felt like they began to shift, they felt different because of him.
He looked at me differently. He kissed me differently.
He touched me differently. At least…I think he did.
Now, I was drowning in all of the what-ifs.
What if I’d just conjured all of that up in my head?
What if I was looking back on things and only seeing what I wanted to see?
What if my confession was met with rejection?
What if he laughed in my face and told me I was crazy to think he would or could ever feel the same?
My stomach began to roil.
I needed to keep myself busy, so I didn’t get too lost in my overthinking, so I got up and started to unpack. It didn’t help, but at least I was being somewhat productive, I supposed.
Later, I got in the shower, did my hair and makeup, then agonized over what to wear out that night. I settled on a simple pair of jeans and a black off-the-shoulder sweater—there was every possibility I was heading to the funeral of my dignity, so black felt fitting.
My stomach was still roiling when I left my apartment, and it only got worse the further into town I drove. When I pulled into the Pierson & Callahan parking lot, I didn’t look to see who’s cars were there, afraid of psyching myself out even more if I saw a certain black Audi.
I got out of my car and started walking the couple of blocks to The Sandbar, giving myself a pep talk on the way.
It’s fine. This is fine. You can do this.
I was hoping that once I saw Wes, I wouldn’t feel as nervous and that finally seeing him for the first time would somehow put me at ease and give me a little more confidence to have this conversation.
When I walked into The Sandbar, I was met with the usual music and chatter. I glanced around, my eyes instantly looking for him.
“You’re here!” Callie squealed as she launched herself at me.
I chuckled as I returned her embrace. “I am.” But even as I hugged her, I looked around the bar for Wes. I wanted to find him before I found a way to talk myself out of doing this.
He was always here for Saturday nights out, but suddenly I panicked. What if the one time he decided not to show up was when I had something like this to talk to him about? That would be just my luck. Then I’d have to spend God knows how long talking myself into doing it again.
“Hey, kid.”
I looked over to see Wyatt, Avery, Brody, and Leah, and I smiled. “Hey!” I stepped away from Callie to give them each a hug. “What are you guys doing here?”
“Callie invited us to come out to welcome you home,” Wyatt said.
Brody nodded, gesturing between him and Leah. “And it gave us an excuse to come into town.”
“Come on.” Callie took my hand with a grin. “Everyone’s in the back room, and Wes is grabbing all of us drinks.”
My heart thumped as she pulled me toward the back area of the bar where Susan had a room for larger gatherings of sorts. He’s here. Wyatt, Avery, Brody, and Leah walked ahead and slipped into the room, and I spotted Gabe and Lucas through the entryway talking with Blake.
“Blake came.”
“Yeah…” Callie halfheartedly smiled. “Gabe thought it would be good for him to get out of the house for a little while but told him if he wanted to go home, just to say the word, and they would leave.”
“How’s he been?”
“Quiet. He started therapy this week, so hopefully that will help.”
Gabe told me about Blake coming home early due to his PTSD. My heart hurt for him and what he’d been through, but maybe being home with his friends and family was best for him now.
As we neared closer, I watched Gabe turn to speak to a blonde woman I didn’t recognize. “Who’s that Gabe’s talking to?”
“Oh…” Callie dropped her voice as she linked her arm with mine. “That would be Loralei…Wes’s girlfriend.”