58. Mason
FIFTY-EIGHT
MASON
Car doors slam and my body jolts upright, my heart banging against my chest cavity, body tensed and itching to get close to Lily. I have no idea how she’s going to react to me being here. And maybe it was stupid. Maybe it was selfish to come when she’s been through so much. Especially since she most likely wants nothing to do with me.
But I couldn’t not come.
I’m up and out of my seat before the front door even opens. Alina—who has been the picture of southern hospitality—is on my heels as we move to the hallway that leads to the entry. My footsteps halt when the door opens and Chase walks in, his arm wrapped around Lily’s waist.
My stomach tenses as my eyes soak her in. Her right arm is in a sling, but it’s overshadowed by her face, which has been turned into a canvas of blacks, blues, and purples. The entire right side is swollen, a giant contusion sitting on top of her forehead. Both of her beautiful eyes are surrounded by rings of color, and my body rages at the need to find the motherfucker who did this. Show the stupid son of a bitch what happens to people who think they can touch her and not have any consequences.
Her eyes glance up and lock on mine, my chest pulling so tight, I feel faint. The blood vessels have ruptured in her right eye, bleeding into her iris, and I bite back the anger that’s sparking in my veins at seeing my little bird look so broken.
I can’t help but feel like part of the responsibility for her ending up like this falls on me. After all, it was me who ensured she’d come back here. It was me who was so lost in the threat of my father that I didn’t even consider the threat waiting for her in Tennessee.
It was me who was a coward and ran without talking, instead of letting her be a part of her decision. And it was me thinking I knew best, instead of consulting her on the safety of her own life and that of her son’s.
Regret is a hell of a thing. It’s heavy as it presses down, forcing me to my knees. I’m ashamed of myself for allowing Lily to leave my life so effortlessly. For not fighting to make her understand.
My heart twists as she steps out of Chase’s arms and walks slowly toward me. The air is silent, tension curling around us like a thick fog, pulling us together the way gravity moves the earth toward the sun. My hands clench at my sides to keep from ghosting along her face. I want to kiss every single part of her. Spread my apologies along her body and pray for forgiveness. But I hold back, allowing her to do whatever it is she needs. I’m at her mercy, and whatever she chooses will be my penance. I’ll accept it willingly. It’s nothing less than what I deserve.
She stops when she’s right in front of me, our connection flaring to life as our eyes lock. The tendons in my arms flex.
And then she collapses into me. My heart stutters, dragging her until she’s cradled completely in my arms. She breaks, guttural sobs leaving her body as she sinks to the floor, sliding down my torso. I follow, my arms never loosening their grip, trying to keep her battered parts from being jostled. My legs surround her crumpled form, her face in my chest, tears soaking through the fabric of my shirt.
“Little bird,” I murmur. “It’s okay, baby. I’ve got you.” My hand comes up and smooths down the back of her head gently, afraid of hitting a wound but knowing she needs the comfort.
My eyes glance up and lock on Chase, his eyes red-rimmed and glassy as he takes us in. He jerks his chin in a nod and then walks around us, grabbing Alina’s hand and leaving the room.
And this is where I stay, holding the other half of my soul, soaking up her pain and letting it settle on my skin. I’ll bear the weight for now and hope she lets me stay to help her weather the storm.
It isn’t until my legs are numb, and my shirt is soaked with tears that she calms down, her cries turning to hiccups and her breaths coming in even. I rock us back and forth gently, my mouth peppering kisses on her head, my heart fucking aching with the need to take it all away.
“You’re an asshole,” she mumbles against my shirt.
“I know.”
She sighs, turning her head to look up at me, her swollen cheek pressed against my middle. Even battered and bruised, she’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
“I should hate you.” Her voice cracks.
I bite the inside of my cheek and nod. “I know.”
“But I’m really, really , glad you’re here.” She hiccups again, her body shivering in my arms.
My arms squeeze her tighter and she yelps. “Sorry, sore ribs.”
Anger flares in my gut. “I’m going to kill that motherfucker.”
She yawns, her eyes fluttering. “Can you do it later? Right now, I just want you to hold me. I’ll be mad at you again tomorrow.”
A chuckle bubbles from my chest, and I press a kiss to the top of her head again, hope swelling my heart. “Where’s your room?”
She closes her eyes. “Second door on the right.”
I stand up carefully, one arm slipping under her legs and the other cradling her back as I carry her down the hall and into her room. She lies on the bed, her head propped up by pillows, watching as I untie her shoes and remove them.
“I’m gonna take off your clothes, okay? Tell me if I hurt you.”
She nods.
Slipping off her socks, I run my hands softly up her legs, along the outside of her thighs, unbuttoning her jeans and moving one of my hands underneath to slide them off her hips. They roll down easily, but I have to hold back the curse as I take inventory of the blood spatter on her jeans.
Once her pants are off, I lean forward, my hands slipping under the hem of her shirt and lifting. My chest pulls when her bruised side comes into view. My fingers ghost over the area, and Lily sucks in a breath.
My eyes flicker to her face. “Am I hurting you?”
She shakes her head, a pained smile spreading on her face. “Only my heart.”
My stomach twists and I lean down, pressing my mouth softly to the contusion on her side. “I didn’t mean to.”
Her breathing stutters and she raises her left hand to gingerly wipe under her eyes. “Didn’t you?”
I shake my head, my chest caving in on itself as I rise up to meet her gaze. “I never meant to fall in love with you. And I never meant to hurt you. I was going to tell you, Lily. I was trying to protect you.”
She turns her head to the side. “I don’t want to talk about this now.”
I nod, sucking my bottom lip into my mouth. “Okay.”
Gingerly, I move the straps of her tank top over her slinged arm, then lift her shirt the rest of the way off, my stomach tensing with worry that I’ll graze her hurt shoulder.
I reach behind her and unhook her bra, repeating the motion of the straps and letting it fall to the floor beside us. Unable to stop myself, I lean back in, pressing another kiss to her chest, right over her heart. “You can hate me, little bird. I can live with that. Just as long as you promise to stay alive.”
Glancing up, I expect a response, but her breathing has evened out, her eyes closed.
I allow myself a few minutes to soak her in, and then I lie down beside her, wrapping her in my arms and whispering that I’ll keep her safe.
Tonight, I’ll hold her.
Tomorrow, I’ll find that motherfucker and make him pay.