Chapter 8
Chapter Eight
“I’m still upset?” she said to the empty car as she drove home. “Damn right, I’m still upset.”
Sex with Max had been the most erotic, satisfying experience of her life. No one else had come close. But that wasn’t his fault.
It was his fault he’d dropped her afterwards faster than she’d dropped her panties in the first place. That had just been cruel.
“Oh, but we agreed to that beforehand. Remember?” she repeated in a mocking tone. He’d reminded her of that fact in the parking garage.
Yes, she remembered. But Max’s excuses were bullshit. He hadn’t wanted to keep seeing her because he hadn’t believed she was worth the effort. Lana was pissed off at him for never admitting it. Even though she’d probably clock him if he said it out loud. She could be unreasonable like that.
She honked at someone changing lanes.
The thing was, even if she and Max had tried to date—and even though she loved him—she knew they would’ve broken up eventually.
They were way too much alike. She and Max had an equal workaholic streak.
They were both fiercely individualistic.
There was a reason she’d never had a relationship longer than a month, and it wasn’t just the long-lingering shadow of Max Bennett over her love life.
With the sole exception of Aurora, Lana didn’t like sharing her space or answering to anyone. She got annoyed quickly at a man’s ticks or quirks. She wasn’t an easy-going girlfriend, and she didn’t hold back during arguments, either. Lana refused to dumb herself down to soothe any man’s ego.
But she couldn’t help thinking that, just maybe, Max could’ve handled her brains and her body. Meeting her as an equal in every way.
Stop, she told herself. You’re going to get sad. And you don’t have time for that.
Lana parked in front of her townhome and stormed inside. She poured an extra-generous glass of Pinot Grigio, then flopped onto her couch and checked her messages on her phone.
Trevor had called and texted, wanting an update on what happened at the hearing. But Lana couldn’t think about that anymore right now.
Instead, she opened her favorites and hit the name at the top of the list.
Aurora answered, and then switched to video. Her smiling face appeared. “Wow, that’s some glass of wine. Hard day?”
Lana sighed. “Hard enough that I don’t want to talk about it. How is L.A.? Are you ready for the wedding brunch?”
Aurora was an event planner. Like her older brother, she had an entrepreneurial streak.
She was still getting her business off the ground, and she’d secured several clients already after a slightly bumpy start.
Aurora was spending the night in Los Angeles for a wedding tomorrow morning, which she had planned for sunrise at the Griffith Observatory.
“I’m ready, but I’m having doubts about the bride. Today, she alternated between screaming at everyone and lying down with her head in her mother’s lap. But I don’t have that much experience with weddings, or even with healthy marriages. Maybe that’s normal?”
Lana sipped her wine and giggled. “Beats me.”
While Lana’s parents were still together, they weren’t exactly models of the ideal marriage.
They didn’t fight, but they still didn’t respect each other.
Instead, they made snide comments behind one another’s backs.
By the time Lana was in law school, they lived mostly separate lives.
They’d both been great parents individually, for her and for Aurora, once they’d gained legal guardianship over the younger girl.
But spending time with Lana’s mom and dad together was a pretty miserable experience.
And Aurora’s parents hadn’t fared well, though in different ways. Once again, they’d stayed married. But probably only because they gave up their daughter to get by.
So, neither she nor Aurora had the best examples growing up. But at least Aurora had Devon now. For Lana, it was reassuring to know that her friend, and younger sister in all but name, had found a soft place to land.
Once Aurora had reached high school, Lana had realized her friend didn’t need a mother hen. She didn’t even need a big sister, exactly. Instead, she needed a confidante. Someone she could talk to about everything that was really going on in her life.
Despite their age difference, they quickly became best friends. Aurora was hilarious, always coming up with new ways to make Lana laugh. She wore her heart on her sleeve, which Lana admired, because she’d never been able to do that with anyone but Aurora herself.
Lana had missed Aurora when the younger woman went off to college in St. Louis. But Lana understood. Aurora hadn’t really left her. She’d needed distance from her family’s troubles and her brother’s intense presence, once he’d left the military.
But now Aurora was back, and Lana’s days had become much brighter. Definitely. She and Aurora had still talked all the time when they’d lived in different states, but now they got together whenever they wanted.
Part of her even considered jumping back into the car and driving to Los Angeles right now, just to share this night with her friend instead of sitting alone with her fishbowl of wine.
But surely Aurora would need to go to bed early to prep for her morning.
She had her own responsibilities to think about.
My girl’s all grown up.
“You’re doing some serious brooding over there,” Aurora said. “Sure you don’t want to tell me what’s wrong?”
Lana took a gulp of wine. “Remember that trial I was telling you about? The one that’s coming up?”
“That terrible murder from back in the nineties? Yeah, of course. Did something happen in the case?”
Lana lay down on the couch, pulling a pillow under her head.
“The defense attorney is at it again. He filed this ridiculous motion, and the judge made me go through an entire hearing about it today. Probably because opposing counsel is this big-shot L.A. lawyer, so of course people automatically take him seriously. Meanwhile, his entire purpose was to humiliate me publicly, not to mention try to slut shame me. And why not? I’m a woman litigator. That’s what I should expect, right?”
She couldn’t keep the bitterness out of her tone. She hated that Wayfair had rattled her so much.
“Lana, I am so sorry. That’s horrible. It’s disgusting that he can get away with it.”
“And Max was there to witness it all. You can see why my day sucked.” She lifted onto her elbow and took another large sip of wine. Her stomach was empty, so the alcohol was going straight to her head.
“Max?” Aurora’s nose wrinkled. “Oh, because he investigated the case. I remember. But how on earth was that lawyer slut shaming you? What was this hearing even about?”
Lana blinked her eyes closed, cursing herself for not holding back some of those details. Of course Aurora was asking. It was only natural.
She should probably tell Aurora the rest, anyway. Even though she didn’t want to. The hearing was public record, so it might get back to Aurora eventually.
Lana sat up. “So, I guess I’ve been keeping something from you. It involves Max. And me.”
“Okay.” Aurora leaned forward toward the camera. “This is getting weird.”
You have no idea, Lana thought.
“Way back when Max was in the army and I was in college… We slept together.”
Aurora squeezed her eyes shut, then opened them again. “You what? You and Max? Was this like a drunken incident or something? You slipped and fell onto his crotch?”
“Nobody was drunk. Or slipped. And it was…more than once.”
“More than once?” She covered her face. “This is like when I first realized that my parents had sex.”
Actually, Aurora could’ve drawn a worse comparison. Parents were supposed to have sex, after all.
“I mean, did you like it?” Aurora cringed, squinting.
“I don’t think you want me to answer that question.”
“You totally liked it! This is Max we’re talking about? My brother Max?”
“That’s the one.”
“As his sister, I’m horrified at the very idea he’s ever had sex. Especially with you. But as your best friend, I guess I’m…vaguely high-fiving you? In a very non-specific, generalized kind of way.”
Lana figured she shouldn’t add details, like the fact that Max had taken her virginity.
“You’re not mad, though?” Lana asked.
Aurora made a face. “Of course not. Unlike my brother, I understand that some things are not my business. And I definitely get why you didn’t tell me this before. Because I didn’t want to know. Maybe we can just pretend that I still don’t?”
“That, I can do. Happily.”
Aurora’s expression changed again, as if a new idea had just occurred to her. An idea that frightened her. “Wait, you don’t think it’ll happen ever again, do you?”
Lana barked out a nervous laugh. “Not a chance.”
“Thank god.” Aurora shook her head, blonde hair falling across her cheek.
“Unbelievable. All those times he scared off my boyfriends senior year of high school, and meanwhile, he’d already screwed my best friend?
Talk about a hypocrite.” Then Aurora’s eyes bulged again.
“Max wasn’t a jerk to you, was he? Do he and I need to have words? ”
“No, not at all. It was ten years ago. It’s fine.” There was a limit to how much Lana needed to share. No way was she confessing her decade-long flame for Aurora’s brother.
“Is it awkward, though? Having a history with him? I thought you guys spent so much time together all these years. You know, for work and stuff.”
“It didn’t used to be awkward. We just acted like it never happened.” At least he did, and she pretended that it didn’t hurt. “But this hearing in the Hearst case has brought it all to the surface. Maybe it’s for the best. We can put it behind us and be friends now.” That’s what Max seemed to want.
“But I thought that you were friends.”
“There are friends who get along well enough to hang out occasionally in groups or work together on a project. And then there are real friends. Like you and me.”
“And you’re saying that you and Max are the first kind?”
“Exactly.”
“Do you want to be real friends with him? He’s my brother, so I’m kind of stuck with him. But you don’t have to be nice to him on my account.”
Lana got up, walking aimlessly across for living room. “Honestly? I don’t know.”
She’d thought that she knew how to handle her feelings for Max. She’d worked out a way to have him around without letting it get to her too much.
But could she finally put the past in its place and have a legitimate friendship with him? Was it even worth a try?
She was so confused.
“You can think about it,” Aurora said. “If this fling of yours happened ten years ago, then you don’t have to figure it all out tonight.”
“You’re right. Look how wise and mature you are.”
Aurora smiled, her eyes twinkling. “I know, I’m impressive, aren’t I? I should have a podcast or something. ‘Love Lessons, with Aurora Bennett.’”
They got off the phone so that Aurora could get to bed, and Lana wolfed down some cheese slices to help absorb the alcohol in her stomach. She set her wine glass in the sink and wandered into her bedroom.
Lana unzipped her dress and let it fall to the floor.
And just like that, she was thinking of Max again. Not about her conflicted feelings or their years of awkward, almost-friendship.
No, her mind had gone back to the well-worn memories of their first night together. Regardless of how she felt about him otherwise—infatuated or infuriated—the searing after-image of their naked, tangled bodies had never ceased to turn her on.
Lana put on an oversized T-shirt and slipped beneath her covers. She pushed her underwear aside, pretending that her fingers were Max’s. He’d made her come so easily, probably because he’d been with a lot of other women before. And since.
With no warning, her body went dry. Damn it.
She couldn’t even have a proper fantasy about him anymore without it getting over-complicated.
Lana rolled over, burying her face in her pillow. “I’m such a mess.”
Her home phone rang, breaking the silence of her townhouse. The landline that her mother insisted she keep, though hardly anyone ever called that number except the gas company or telemarketers. And it was way too late for either.
Immediately, acid surged in her belly.
The ringing seemed to go on and on. She stared at the handset on her nightstand.
The caller ID said, Unknown number.
Finally, the ringing stopped. But then it immediately started up again.
Furious, she threw the covers aside and jumped out of bed. She grabbed the cordless handset and lifted it to her ear.
She didn’t say a word. But the other person breathed heavily into the phone.
He knew she was there.
And unlike the last time, she couldn’t find the words to tell him off. An invisible fist had closed around her throat, her lungs not moving.
Then, a voice spoke in a harsh whisper.
“I know you’re in your bedroom. Alone. I’m always watching. And when I’m ready, I’m going to make you mine.”
She spun around, eyes going to the window. The curtain was closed. But she still had the awful, sick feeling that the man was right outside. Looking in.
“Sleep tight, Lana. I’ll be with you soon.”
The phone dropped onto the carpet at her feet. She backed away from it like it was a bomb.
Who the hell was he? What did he want?
His voice answered in her memory. I’m going to make you mine.
She ran into the living room, desperate to find someplace to escape. To feel safe. But everywhere she saw windows. Everywhere, she was exposed.
He could be right outside her door, even now. Waiting for her.
Watching.