Chapter 35
Chapter Thirty-Five
Faith opened her eyes. She was in a hospital room. Something was beeping. It had to be night because there was darkness behind the window blinds.
Tanner sat in a chair, his elbows on his knees, head in his hands.
“Tanner?” Her voice cracked. She tried to sit up and reach for him, but her arm was attached to something. An IV. But even if it hadn’t been, she didn’t think she could move. Her limbs were heavy and aching, and her head pounded. She felt like she’d been hit by a truck.
Tanner looked up and rushed to the side of the hospital bed. “How are you feeling?”
“Terrible. But it’s so good to see you.”
He laughed, yet the sadness in the sound made the ache in her chest even worse. “Pretty sure that was my line.”
“What happened?” She remembered getting the delivery from Jon. Opening the box. “Oh, no. The package. It had drugs inside.”
He sat on the edge of the bed beside her. “We know. You overdosed. You could’ve—” Tanner cleared his throat.
“I don’t understand. How could I have overdosed?” She remembered something about the powder spilling. A bad taste in her mouth. It was still there, vile and metallic.
“Fentanyl powder. Even in small amounts, it’s potent enough to absorb through the skin. It could’ve been fatal.”
She rested her head against the pillows, feeling nauseous. “Can I have a drink of water?”
Tanner reached out for a glass on a nearby table.
Faith sipped the liquid. Her brain was starting to fit the missing pieces together.
How could she have been so stupid?
“I’m so sorry. I did this. It’s my fault.” The water almost slipped from her hands. Tanner took the glass.
“Don’t say that. I was supposed to be there with you. I’m the one who fucked up. If I’d been there, I could’ve called Sean like I was supposed to, and you never would’ve been in that position. There was no way you could’ve realized how dangerous it was to open that box.”
“It’s not your fault you weren’t there. You were at work.”
A nurse came into the room. “Look who’s up? A lot of people are going to be very happy. I’ll need a little room, though, if your boyfriend doesn’t mind?”
Tanner sat back to let the nurse check Faith’s vitals.
“This guy saved your life. Did you know that?” The nurse tilted her head toward Tanner. “Paramedics hardly had to do anything but get you here.”
He looked sheepish. “Sylvie had her first aid kit. Thank god for that. The Narcan did the rest.”
“But you thought fast, so good on you,” the nurse said. “Take credit when it’s offered.”
Tanner shrugged. Faith hated that she’d scared him. He’d been under enough stress already.
The nurse held Faith’s wrist. “You’re recovering nicely. I’ll let the doctor know you’re awake. But we’re going to keep you here a bit longer to monitor you. You had some very nasty stuff in your system.”
There was a question in the nurse’s tone, not quite an accusation. But Faith felt guilty all the same.
“Thanks.”
Tanner returned to her side, and Faith pressed her face into his chest. He wore the button-down shirt and tailored pants he’d dressed in that morning for work. It seemed like a lifetime ago that they’d woken up together, showered, dressed. Like this would be any other day.
“You saved me,” Faith said. “I didn’t even know.”
“Least I could do. Sylvie would’ve figured it out if I hadn’t.”
“But you were there when I needed you. You’re always there when I need you.” Words were inadequate to express the gratitude she felt for him. The tight, achy, overpowering sensations in her heart that had nothing to do with being sick.
“I just…” She struggled with how to explain it.
How to make sense of what an idiot she’d been.
“I was just so angry. Jon dropped off the box, and he said someone would be there to pick it up right away. He hinted that Kyle might come, even though Jon had promised I’d never have to see him again.
I had to do something.” Somehow, in the moment, it had seemed heroic to face the truth inside that box.
So she could call the police and point her finger and say, This is what they’ve done.
“It’s okay,” he said. “I understand. Sometimes, a mission goes sideways. Happens to the best of us.”
She’d convinced herself she was being brave.
But she just kept screwing up. She was tired of feeling like this.
Weak and powerless. Yet she kept ending up in the same place, over and over again.
Crushed by the weight of her own misjudgments and mistakes.
Stupid impulsive decisions. The way she’d gotten trapped with Jon in the first place.
She’d tried to convince herself she could break free of all that, but she hadn’t. She’d failed.
Tanner was the one bright spot in her life. But he was sitting in a hospital room right now because of her. If he’d been with her earlier, he might’ve been the one who’d overdosed.
He’d trusted her enough to go along with her ridiculous plan. She wished he hadn’t listened to her. She wished she’d left town when she had the chance so the people she cared about weren’t affected.
She felt a fresh surge of panic. “Is Sylvie okay? She was there, too. Wasn’t she?” Faith was fighting back the tears.
Tanner cupped her face in his hands. “Hey, look at me. Breathe, okay?”
She nodded, staring into his brown eyes.
“Sylvie is fine. She’s meeting with West Oaks police. I’ve been in touch with my friend Sean at the LAPD, and he’s working with the regional drug task force. They’re going to take care of everything. You don’t have to worry.”
Take care of everything I screwed up, you mean, she thought.
Tanner kissed her gently on the lips. She bet she must taste awful, but he didn’t complain.
“I’m just so thankful you’re here,” Faith said.
He grimaced like the words hurt him.
Tanner held her tightly against him. His breathing was ragged, as if he were the one barely holding together. “Faith, I—”
Someone knocked on the door, pushing it open slightly. “Flowers for a Faith Townsend?”
“Yes, that’s me.”
A woman with a sunburned face carried in an arrangement of daisies. She set it on a table, eyes darting everywhere.
“Need a signature or something?” Tanner asked.
The woman shook her head, slinking toward the door. Tanner frowned, seeming to study her narrow shoulders.
“Who sent the flowers?” Faith said.
Tanner stood up and checked the card. He handed it to Faith. The card said, Get well. No indication of who’d sent it, which seemed odd.
But then Sylvie appeared in the doorway, which the delivery woman had left open. “Hey, can I come in?”
Faith nodded, and Sylvie dashed over, pulling Faith into a hug. “That was awful. Never, ever do that again.
“Play with a box full of fentanyl? I don’t intend to.”
“Tanner,” Sylvie said, “Noah’s out in the waiting room, along with half the people we know. He seemed anxious to talk to you.”
Tanner bit his lip. “Shit. I should probably go find him, then.” He bent to give Faith a soft kiss. She pressed her palm to his cheek, smoothing it along his whiskers. Faith wondered why he was so tense about seeing his friend.
“See you later?” she asked.
“I’ll be back. You can’t get rid of me.” He winked, then stepped through the door, closing it behind him.
Sylvie was shaking her head. “You two. Just get married and have five kids and a dog, already.”
Faith looked down at her blanket, smiling sadly. If only it were that simple. “I’m so sorry, Sylvie. I really messed up.”
Sylvie sat beside her. “Come here.” They hugged again. Faith wiped her eyes, taking in a shaky breath.
“Any chance you know where my phone is?” Faith asked.
Sylvie picked it up from the nightstand. “This is it, right?”
Faith was relieved it hadn’t gotten lost in the chaos. She quickly tried to check her notifications. There were a few, but the display said No service.
Sylvie tilted her head, probably noticing Faith’s frustration. “I haven’t got service in here, either. But most everyone you know in West Oaks is out in the waiting room. Nic, Ethan, Luis. Some other bodyguards from Bennett Security. Myra, from your dental office.”
“Myra’s here?”
“Tanner had her number, and I called her. Figured you’d be out for work tomorrow and wanted to make sure your boss got word.”
Faith embraced her friend yet again. “Thank you.” Dr. Petrie wasn’t going to be happy about her missing work, but at least the office had notice. Faith hoped she wouldn’t miss more than tomorrow, though. She couldn’t afford to.
“Do you want me to ask Myra to come in?” Sylvie said.
“Would you?” That idea brightened her mood even further. Sylvie and Myra were her two closest friends in West Oaks, apart from Tanner. And the two women didn’t even know one another.
A few minutes later, Myra raced into the room with all the energy of a hurricane. “What the freaking heck, Faith? Oh-em-jeez.”
Faith laughed and accepted yet another hug. She didn’t think she’d ever gotten this many hugs from this many different people in a short period. Not even from her family. Myra sat on one side of the bed, Sylvie on the other.
“You know,” Myra said, “if I’m being honest? I thought you were paranoid about the drug stuff. Don’t get me wrong, I love drama. But I had no idea your ex was actually going all Breaking Bad.”
“Except it wasn’t meth,” Sylvie pointed out. “She wishes it was meth.”
Myra’s eyes narrowed. “Which sounds super weird taken out of context.”
Faith giggled.
Sylvie looked thoughtful. “Myra, I heard you may have been present at the infamous double date. Is that true? When this girl started out with one guy, then hooked up with another by the end of the night?”
“Um, you mean, hooked up with my date?”
“Can we not?” Faith was rolling her eyes.
“Already are,” Myra said. “This story is too good to keep to myself.”
Sylvie pointed across the bed at her. “Yes. I can tell this lady’s a keeper. Leave nothing out.”
Myra launched into an over-the-top retelling of that night. Faith’s friends snuggled into her, and she let her head fall back against the pillows.
Physically, she still felt like crap. But despite the awfulness of this day, there was a warm sensation building inside of her. A tiny flame that refused to go out.