10
I arrived late.
By the time I entered the banquet hall, the tables were deserted and faint sounds of merriment floated from the ballroom in the adjacent wing. Servants were clearing porcelain dishes streaked with rich sauces and green specks of garnish, the remnants of an indulgent meal. I lingered for a moment, glad to see the hydrangea centerpieces and the extra table I had requested had served their purpose.
I turned back into the hallway, startling when a group of servants rushed past me. They were carrying a hefty structure covered in white cloth and what looked like pails of paint. One of the servants caught sight of me and curtsied.
“Milady! Have you just arrived?” she asked, her blue eyes wide.
I glanced over her shoulder at the mysterious cargo.
“I have,” I said. “I was on my way to the ball. Is there a renovation going on somewhere?”
“Oh, not at all, milady! Please, don’t let us keep you.” She curtsied again and scampered off with her companions, whispering furiously. “Hurry...told us to...wouldn’t be here at all!”
The group disappeared behind the corner.
THE BALL WAS WELL UNDERWAY when I entered through the top of the marble staircase.
The guests were dancing and mingling below, surrounded by white arches overflowing with the blues, pinks, and purples of Queen Cordelia’s hydrangeas. Loose petals floated down occasionally, carpeting the floor in delicate colors. The glittering golden chandeliers set everything aglow. The effect was as enchanting as I had imagined.
The royal herald drew in a breath to announce me as I began descending the long flight of steps, but I held up a hand to stop him. The last thing I wanted was attention. At least, not until I managed to muster up the smiles and civilities needed for the rest of the night.
When I reached the bottom I pulled on a polite smile. Some ambassadors were chattering near the refreshments, others were dancing. None of them were looking at me. I couldn’t decide if that was an insult or a blessing.
On the dance floor, a flash of lilac caught my eye. Bennett, whose waistcoat matched my gown, was dancing with Lady Kelsey, the granddaughter of Sir Oliver of Riverhollow. He was smiling at her. The expression made him twice as handsome.
My heart gave a twinge.
“Isn’t my Kelsey a vision?” came a too-loud voice from my right. I jumped as Sir Oliver himself appeared, a flute of champagne in one shaky hand and a puff pastry in the other. His graying hair was slicked back with far too much oil.
“Certainly,” I said.
“The crown prince is of marriageable age, is he not? He should be married soon,” Sir Oliver wheezed.
Surely the ambassador was not matchmaking .
“He will be,” I said curtly. “ To me .”
So much for smiles and civility.
“Oh yes, Kelsey is a vision,” Sir Oliver said, showing no signs of having heard me at all.
I had hoped to be strong enough to pass the night as if nothing had happened, but I wasn’t. I couldn’t stay and see Bennett be the perfect crown prince and entertain Kelsey the vision.
I picked up my skirts and whirled to the exit beneath the stairs, not stopping until I was away from the noise and light and chatter. No one tried to stop me. It was as if my lilac dress had blended in with the hydrangeas—I was just another stray petal that had fallen.
Down the hall, I approached a door that was ajar. This part of the palace held sitting rooms and storage closets, perhaps where the servants were heading off to earlier. I listened. No movement, save for the muffled sounds of the orchestra and the jubilant partygoers. I kicked off my heeled slippers and slipped inside.
The room was dark save for the blade of light that cut in from the hall. Within, white swaths of fabric covered odd angular forms. In the middle of the room was the strange structure the servants were carrying. I sat on the floor behind it, hugging my knees to my chest. I took a breath. Then another. The smell of paint was pungent in the air.
“Narcissa Greenwood, what have you become?” I whispered. Balls used to be easy under Mother’s guidance, but what a poor mistress I was to myself.
Here I was, hiding away like a little girl as I let Bennett handle both our duties. I tugged the jeweled comb out of my hair and threw it across the room. It clattered to the floor and slid to a stop.
Faint footsteps echoed outside. I tensed when the door creaked open, widening the blade of light and framing a familiar silhouette.
“Cissa? Are you in here?”
I sniffed and dabbed my face.
Bennett rounded the corner and stopped in front of me, his brow furrowed. He was no longer smiling. I could only imagine what he was thinking. He expected a princess, but all he saw was a girl with a tear-stained face.
“You came,” he said.
“It’s the Ambassadors Ball, isn’t it?”
Bennett knelt next to me, sweeping away my pool of skirts. “What’s wrong?” he asked.
I turned away, hugging my knees. “Nothing is wrong. I-I’ll be ready to go back in a minute,” I said.
“Cissa.”
“I’m fine.”
“You are not. You didn’t want to be announced, and then you left after you spoke to Sir Oliver. Was it something he said?”
Curse him for being so observant. “How would you know?” I said bitterly. “Weren’t you dancing with Lady Kelsey?”
I was not proud of those words, but the petty, jealous part of me didn’t care. Let Lady Kelsey enjoy his smiles. It was not as if I deserved them.
Bennett dragged a hand over his face. “Cissa. I wish you would be honest with me.”
“I am. I’m—”
“Do not say you are fine.”
Bennett never lost his patience, but there was an edge to his voice now that terrified me. Had I finally disappointed him?
He raised his hand. I flinched.
Bennett’s face drained of color. He sat back. “Cissa,” he said hoarsely. “Did you think I was going to...?”
His unsaid words pressed down upon us, stealing the breath from my lungs.
Slowly, Bennett lifted his hand again. With aching gentleness, he smoothed my hair away from my face and gathered me into a hug.
The tears I had been holding back finally fell. I sobbed into his shoulder.
“I’m sorry. Tell me what’s wrong, darling,” Bennett murmured, rubbing my back in comforting circles.
Guilt clawed at my throat as I clung to him.
What had I been thinking? Bennett was not Mother. He was safe. He had been nothing but sweet and gentle and everything good, but I had let him assume her role in my mind. Someone to please. Someone to obey and feel lesser than.
Someone to fear.
“I c-can’t,” I hiccupped.
“Try,” he said.
I took a shuddering breath.
“I don’t think I can be a princess,” I choked out.
Bennett was silent for a moment. “Is this about that gossip column?”
“You read it?” I said miserably.
“You gave it to me. When you returned my notes.”
I pulled away, humiliated. “I...I didn’t mean to. You weren’t supposed to read that!”
Bennett cupped my face, wiping away my tears with his thumbs. “Cissa. It’s just gossip.”
“There’s some truth to it.” I sniffed. “I’m not ready to be a crown princess. I can’t sit for hours at meetings or read reports or take endless pages of notes like you do. You’re so much better than me. I love my cats and I love Greenwood Abbey. A-and my crimson lips are leading you astray!”
A smile wavered at the corner of Bennett’s mouth. He coughed, then laughed. The sound rung clear and merry in the dark room.
“Cissa, nothing you did with me for the past month were your duties. They were mine . You asked to shadow me, so I thought you had a particular interest,” Bennett said. “Didn’t anyone tell you that your education as crown princess won’t start until after we’re wed?”
My lips parted. “I...no.”
“Then I must have a talk with Ulysses. You were free to spend your time before our wedding as you chose,” Bennett said. “And I am not better than you. You and me...we have different roles in this palace. They are equally important no matter what anyone else says. This ball is a success because you planned it. Didn’t you see how happy the ambassadors were?”
Decidedly not. I had been too busy being miserable.
“I love our cats too, Cissa. As for your crimson lips...” Bennett broke off into another laugh. “Good heavens. I can’t imagine what that means.”
Bennett hadn’t been disappointed in me. I had spent the past month crumbling under invisible expectations. A mixture of gratitude and love and relief swept over me. I managed a shaky smile.
“But that’s not all, is it?” Bennett asked, growing serious again. “You can talk to me, Cissa.”
“Well, when the ambassadors came, we were so busy,” I said. “ You were so busy and...and serious. I felt like a fool for wanting you.”
Last spring, I had promised to share his duties to Olderea. I knew half his heart belonged to the kingdom, even before I loved him. But it wasn’t until now did I realize I was so selfish as to want all of it.
Bennett was silent. I was afraid I had offended him, but he didn’t push me away.
“You’ve been so distant,” I said quietly. “Why wouldn’t you kiss me that night?”
Bennett withdrew his handkerchief from his waistcoat pocket and offered it to me. He looked away for a moment, as if embarrassed. “I wanted to kiss you. In truth, every moment I had to spend with those ambassadors I wanted to spend with you.”
“Really?”
“Really.” He sighed and ducked his head. “I know I’ve been distant. Father always treated our family like a distraction when he was working. I suppose I’ve begun to think of you as one too. It’s what he would’ve done.”
I cursed myself for being so self-centered, even as some of his words stung. I’d never thought Bennett would have his own struggles. He always seemed so calm, so confident in his role.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
Bennett shook his head. “I’m the one who should apologize, Cissa. Father was wrong. He hurt us. I don’t want to hurt you too. But I see I already have.” He looked down and entwined his fingers in mine. “I didn’t mean to treat you like I didn’t love you. It’s just that duty and intimacy is a hard balance for me to strike.”
I squeezed his hand. “Let me help.”
He gave me a grateful smile. “You’re helping by understanding. And letting me know when you’re upset...which you have every right to be. Heaven knows I felt the same way when you were making that potion. All I wanted was for you to stop looking at that recipe book and pet me again.”
I laughed. “Are you sure that wasn’t just because you were a cat?”
Bennett grinned. “No. I already knew I missed being close to you,” he said. “And I missed admiring you, too.”
He trailed a hand down the same feather-light path he had the other night—from my neck and down my back, leaving my nerves singing in his wake.
“I’ve never been so close to anybody,” Bennett whispered. “This is new for me and sometimes I get frustrated not knowing how to navigate us.” His brows scrunched. “But trust that you will always be safe with me, Narcissa Greenwood.”
I hugged him, tears pricking my eyes for the second time. “I do trust you,” I said against his chest. “I love you.”
Bennett stroked the back of my head. “And I love you.”
I shifted my cheek against the silken glide of his waistcoat. His warm scent of cedar and spices lingered there. I had sorely missed it.
“Last night,” Bennett said finally, sitting back. “You said the palace was the last place you wanted to be. I know this place seems too big to call home, but I want to make it better. I got you a gift.”
Bennett stood and pulled the sheet off of the odd object behind us, revealing a carpeted structure with small round platforms at various heights.
“It’s for the cats,” he said sheepishly. “This whole room is, actually. I wanted it to be a surprise...but you already found it.”
I looked around the room. A patch of light illuminated the far wall, where a small mural graced the spot underneath the wainscoting. It was a line of cats: one black, one ginger, and a trail of seven kittens behind them.
Tears welled up in my eyes again, this time for a different reason. Serious, dutiful Bennett was willing to convert an entire room in the palace into a cat nursery for me. It made me love him even more.
“I-I don’t know what to say,” I said.
“You don’t have to say anything,” Bennett said, helping me to my feet. “You can bring the cats or whatever or whomever you like to make yourself at home. Because I want you to feel at home when you’re with me.”
I could only nod, afraid that if I spoke, I would begin sobbing again. Bennett did feel like home. He was safe and steady and loyal. Despite my fears, my doubts, and my imperfections, he still loved me. A part of me couldn’t believe my luck.
He truly was mine, through and through.
Something on the floor clinked as Bennett stepped forward. My jeweled comb lay at his feet, glimmering in the light.
He picked it up. “What’s this?”
I touched the empty spot on my head. “It’s mine,” I murmured. “I didn’t feel like a princess earlier.”
He polished it on his coat, placed the comb carefully at my crown, and smoothed my hair back. “You’ll always be my princess.”
As I was about to tell him how sappy that was, Bennett swept me into his arms in a grand, princely gesture that startled a laugh out of me. He lowered his gaze, his lashes nearly brushing his cheeks.
“You may kiss me now, and whenever you like tonight,” he said in a low voice. “Though do refrain from doing so in front of my father. He might have a heart attack.”
“It’s a good thing he isn’t here then.” I looped my arms around Bennett’s neck and brought my lips to his. He tightened his arms around me and kissed me back, first softly, then with more insistence.
“I missed you, Cissa,” Bennett murmured against my mouth.
I only managed a sigh.
“Glad to see you two made up,” came a familiar matronly voice.
I jerked my head back.
“Aunt Marianna!” Bennett sputtered. He set me down clumsily, his face aflame. “Aren’t you supposed to be at the ball?”
Lady Marianna stood at the doorway in a lovely periwinkle chiffon gown that must have been Giselle’s work. Her eyes twinkled with amusement as Bennett discreetly wiped his lips.
I thought back to my talk with her and the sly, mysterious way she had looked. And she had asked after Giselle, who then admitted to...
“I wanted to see if my little scheme worked,” Lady Marianna said. “That potion was quite expensive.”
“That was you?” Bennett sounded both offended and incredulous. “How could you turn me into a cat ?”
Lady Marianna came forward and patted Bennett’s back. He looked more like a wounded child than a prince now. “There, there, my boy. I know you never liked my pranks. I’ve never done a magical prank before, but you were never in any danger. The potion would’ve worn off in twenty-four hours.”
Bennett and I exchanged incredulous glances.
“See? Everything worked out in the end! Your fiancée is back in your arms. Isn’t that right Narcissa?” Lady Marianna winked.
I blushed.
“I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone now,” she said. “But do hurry back. His Majesty is wondering where you have gone.”
Lady Marianna slipped through the door, her footsteps growing fainter until they disappeared entirely.
Bennett and I stood in silence for a beat. Then we both broke into laughter. The turmoil of the last month seemed to dissolve amidst our mirth.
Bennett wiped his eyes and offered me his arm, his smile radiant. “Shall we go back together?”
I took it. “Together.”