CHAPTER 20
*PAST*
“Searching for my rival”
Maya
Aaron was late. He was never late.
Well, over the years he had been late, but I could count with one hand how many times, and it has always been because he was sick.
I checked the clock again.
Checked the halls.
No trace of him.
He didn’t say anything about feeling bad.
I didn’t know why I was worrying so much. If he didn’t show, I was the one that was going to be the leader. I was ready for it. I wasn’t nervous about it. I might have been nervous for him. I might have cared a little for him. Just a tiny little bit. It was hard not to.
I decided to talk with Mrs. Sonia about Aaron. She hadn’t brought up the subject that he wasn’t coming. Maybe she did know more about it that she let on, or maybe she just had a lot of trust in him and his punctuality.
Before I could get to my teacher, Ben got in the way.
“Maya, it’s okay to be nervous. Don’t worry; you can let the professionals do the work while you step aside.”
I didn’t even reply to him. Ben was a pain in the ass.
Aaron and I both had reached the same conclusion about him. We were going to be the best or second best so this pompous egomaniac wasn’t the leader of the debate team.
In fact, Aaron was only the best because I wasn’t very good at maintaining my composure when dealing with posh-ass people. He always knew what to say and how to act so, no one treated him like he was crazy.
Obviously, it helped that he was a man. Filthy rich, and his family was like royalty.
Aaron always avoided those topics, acting almost shy and embarrassed about it.
His family was very down to earth, even if they sometimes surprised me not knowing about the everyday life of us poor mortals. But they were very cute and sweet, so I let it go.
“Earth calling Maya. You aren’t going to insult the jury this time, right?”
I rolled my eyes. I didn’t insult the jury. It was pretty clear that they were being unfair and I only told them so. Maybe not in the most polite way, but it worked. It helped that Aaron then sweet-talked them. I could recognize that Aaron was a vital part of our team, but we would be fine if he didn’t appear.
“Ben, you should go over the summaries that I made. You need them.”
I pushed him away.
“Because I’m going to be the leader?”
He was like a dog with a bone.
“Only in your dreams.”
“Maybe Aaron has finally realized that he’s sick of your temper or…”
He stopped and looked at me up and down, his gray eyes looking for something. His eyes widened. “Has something happened between you two? You seem worried. I didn’t know you had the setting of worrying.”
I laugh. Whatever. “We all know that you guys have a weird sexual tension.”
This guy. “Did he make a move on you and you tried to stab him? Did you try to seduce him with a satanic ritual, or worse, explaining the wars of—”
“Have you finished? If you’re nervous, do some laps or buy a Porsche. Whatever you rich folks do.”
“I wish I was that rich. Just because I don’t live in a trailer park, doesn’t mean I have money to spare, poor snob.”
“Reunion team! Come on guys, I need to tell you something.”
She clapped quickly and I ran to her side. “There have been some problems. Aaron won’t be able to come. He has a family emergency,”
our teacher declared in her diplomatic voice.
“Did he tell you what it is?”
I inquired.
“Well, Maya, that’s private. If you want to know, you have to ask him about it.”
“But he can’t tell me now,”
I declared, stating the obvious.
“You’ll have to wait then,”
she replied with a tense smile.
“But—”
I needed to know something. Anything. “Can I at least call his house?”
“They aren’t there.”
“No one is there?”
I asked, surprised.
“Maya,”
she breathed deep, “no, they all left for a family emergency. Maybe they’ll return tomorrow or in some days.”
Another pause to think. “More likely some days.”
“Can I call his parents?”
“Maya, sweetie, they’re very busy right now. Nothing happened to Aaron. He is safe and sound. Something happened to a loved one, and they had to leave town for some days.”
“To go to his hometown?”
“Yes,”
she replied, exasperated, clearly done with questions.
It had to be something big for all of them to leave town.
Has something happened to his grandpa?
It was the most rational thing. Aaron had tried to downplay it, but his grandpa was clearly sick.
Was he…?
That would destroy Aaron. He adored his grandpa. He considered him his role model. Praying that I was wrong but knowing something horrible had happened, I made a decision.
“I need to go,”
I said to no one in particular.
“What are you talking about?”
Ben asked, surprised. I grabbed my bag and ran.
“You’re the leader, Ben!”
I screamed quickly while running away.
“Maya, is everything alright? Where are you going?”
Mrs. Sonia screamed.
“I forgot that I had something to do today,”
I said while passing through the exit doors.
The wind hit me.
Where was I going?
I knew the name of his hometown, but didn’t know where his house was. There were three options, really. He was at their familiar house, at the hospital, or at the—
I didn’t want to think about the last option, and for the hospital, it would be impossible to get information about him if I was not a family member. I didn’t have a phone, but I could call from the bus station.
I grabbed my bike and went to the bus station. I talked with Rita and explained what was happening. She told me that the fastest way was to grab two buses—one that brought me to another station and the other that would bring me to the main plaza of his hometown. After that, I could grab another bus or walk. I was lucky enough that the next bus was leaving soon, but it would take me almost five hours to get there. I paid for the tickets and waited until the bus arrived.
During the time that I was on the bus, my mind kept running through the same scenarios, many horrible scenes in my brain, but at least Aaron was alive in all of them. Extremely heartbroken and distressed, but alive.
It wasn’t until the sun started to set and we were coming closer to the main plaza that I realized that I hadn’t called the Willows to let them know that I was coming. I knew that they wouldn’t kick me out, but what if they didn’t want me there?
What if Aaron didn’t want me there?
I hopped off the bus and looked at the main plaza. They had talked about this hometown, but I had thought what they’d said was exaggerated, or they were looking at it with innocent eyes. I was wrong. It was beautiful.
The sunset painted the sky with orange and pink. The flowers that decorated the plaza looked like they were straight out of a painting. There was no trash on the ground.
“Maya!”
I turned around and saw Mrs. Willow. Her always-sparkling eyes were surrounded with dark circles, but her soft smile wasn’t faltering. She hugged me tight. “Rita told me that you were coming. I’m so happy that you’re here. How was the trip, darling?”
“Fine.”
I hesitated. “I don’t know exactly what happened, just that it was bad and you all left.”
“Oh. Well, Grandpa got sick some months ago, and the doctors have been trying to get him better, but he needed an emergency operation and we all came here as fast as we could. He’s still in the operating room. The kids are at home. Actually, I haven’t told them that you were coming. Is that alright? I wanted to surprise them. They could use a good surprise.”
“Is he going to be okay?”
“We don’t know. It’s a difficult operation. Many hours,”
she whispered, her smile faltering, “but we are hopeful.”
She passed her arm around my shoulder and guided me to her car. “Thanks for coming, Maya. Did you bring any luggage?”
I shook my head. She smiled softly. “Don’t worry, the kids will lend you some clothes.”
“I also need to call my mom. She doesn’t know I am here.”
She stopped in her tracks.
“I probably should scold you, but I’m so happy that you’re here that I’m not going to. You can call her with my phone.”
I rode shotgun; her big car smelled nice. I sniffed. Aaron’s scent could still be found here.
What am I doing?
Music started to sound and I focused on the ride.
Mrs. Willow was a positive, happy-go-lucky woman. She was extremely kind and with a big smile always, but I could notice that things were more serious than what she was letting on.
Neither of us tried to do small talk.
“Thank you so much for picking me up. It wasn’t necessary. I was going to catch a bus or go walking. I didn’t want to be a nuisance.”
“Don’t be silly; it was a pleasure to pick you up. To be the first face you see in our beautiful, small town. Our place is a bit farther away.”
The road was small but well paved, trees decorating both sides. The sun was almost out, and it gave a mystical dark vibe to it. If the small town looked straight out of a book, the forest looked like the ones in which the wicked villains lived. Except that in this one, the ones living on it were a sunny, kind clan.
She took a turn to the left, and the gravel road led to a small lane surrounded by pines. I could see a big black metal door around the property. At the end sat a white mansion with dark blue windows. There was a roundabout with a huge fountain.
She parked, and I followed her inside.
I had never heard a silence that could sound so loud.
The Willows weren’t known for being the quietest. Whenever I went to their house, there were loud voices, and kids playing, and people getting in and out of their home, but now there was just silence.
“The kids are upstairs. They were—”
I stopped in my tracks. A very known figure was seated below an old, beautiful willow. His head was down, but I would have recognized those shoulders and hair anywhere.
I got out of the house and walked towards him.
He didn’t raise his head until my feet got in his periphery.
His eyes found mine. His eyes were red, like he had been crying for hours. A frown appeared, and he didn’t say a word.
“Aaron, I—”
“Are you really here?”
His voice sounded scratchy and small. I nodded. He continued to frown. “I think I’m losing my mind.”
“Aaron, Mrs. Sonia told me you had a family emergency and had to leave our town for some days. I just wanted to make sure that you—that everything was alright. If—”
Before I could finish, he got up and got close to me.
“You are here.”
“I am.”
His eyes were filled with tears. Some were spilling out. His checks were completely soaked. My heart was breaking. I hugged him. My arms surrounded his torso and my head was in his shoulder. He was rigid.
I wasn’t very good at hugging, but I knew this was not the reaction that one had, so I started to pull out. I had made a miscalculation of the situation, but it was fine. It didn’t matter.
I still needed to find a way to make him stop crying.
Before I could pull out, he hugged me back. It was a strong grip, like he was scared that I was going to slip from his fingers. His head was on my shoulder, and I could feel the tremors going through him and the tears that were wetting my shirt. I didn’t mind. It was what he needed. I didn’t say a word. There were none that could make all the worry, anxiety, and sadness go away.
After a while, he pulled away a little bit. At first I didn’t want him to. I realized when my fists were gripping his white shirt too hard, and he couldn’t get out of my arms.
His face was splotchy, and his eyes were the bluest teal. I touched his cheeks to wipe his tears. My touch made his eyes open widely. I waited for a sign that he wanted me to stop, but he didn’t. In fact, his face got closer, touching my fingers with his right cheek.
His skin was smooth and cold. It felt so good to touch him like this. Even if it was for something as sad as this.
It felt good to help him in any way, letting him know that I was here. I wasn’t the best at talking about my feelings or even with words in general, unless they were directed to harm, or annoy, or win. This was out of my league.
“Maya.”
I made a little sound in my throat. “It means the world that you are here.”
I felt my cheeks redden. I shook my head. It wasn’t anything big. It was the least I could do.
“Maya!”
Cassie screamed. I got out of Aaron’s arms as fast as I could. I could have sworn he made a sound of displeasure. “You’re here! In our hometown! Finally!”
She jumped into my arms and hugged me tightly. She looked at me happily, but I could see the sadness and anguish in her eyes. She was faking the smile. “How did you get here?”
“By bus.”
“Wow, that’s like, hours. You’re the best. Thanks for coming. Everything’ll be alright, and we all are going to be able to hang out and show you our favorite places. It’s going to be awesome. One of the best weekends of our lives. You’ll see.”
She was talking fast, and trying to make her smile bigger and bigger, but we all could see the shake of her lips, and the tears filling her eyes. “You’ll love it here. It’s going to be amazing, right Aaron?”
I looked at him. He was looking between her sister and I. He nodded slowly. “See, if know-it-all Aaron says it, it’s true.”
I grabbed her hand and pressed it firmly.
“That sounds amazing, Cassie. I would love that.”
I was thinking real hard what could help her but weren’t lies or things that were out of my control. “I saw the main plaza. It’s gorgeous. You weren’t exaggerating when you said that it was out of a fairytale. It must look even more pretty in winter.”
“It does! We make Winter Markets and everyone decorates their houses and when it snows it is otherworldly.”
The corners of her smile tried to lift up, but her lips were still shaking. “By the way, I passed my chemistry test.”
“That’s wonderful; I knew you would.”
She smiled, and then it was silent.
The rest of the Willow siblings came. Some were happier to see me; others were just curious. After some hugs, we entered the house. I stayed back until I was close to Aaron, and my hand touched his. He grabbed it and squeezed it just once before letting it go. I wanted him to know that I was there for him.
We all sat in a room at the top floor of the house that had a big projector on. Some kids were playing, but no one was paying much attention. It reminded me of the cinema that they had in their home, but this one was older, with some well-used couches. The style was less colorful and more old.
Aaron was seeing without looking at the screen. His older brother was sitting in the corner with Ayla, the youngest. She was in his arms, probably not knowing what was happening, but old enough to understand something was going on.
I hadn’t seen Niko much during the years. He was out most of the time. He’d started college then dropped out because he hated it, and apparently he was looking for what to do next. Meanwhile, he was working in a garage fixing cars.
While Aaron was the golden boy, Niko was the bad boy.
I looked at Aaron. He was next to me, so it was pretty noticeable when I did. He made eye contact with me, a tiny, sweet smile on his lips, his eyes showing he was happy that I was here. I held his hand. We both were covered by two different blankets. And they were covering what we were doing.
It wasn’t something bad. Just two friends holding hands, showing the other that she was here for him. I hated seeing him suffer, but it felt good that he showed that he liked that I was here, that in some way I was helping him.
“Wait, Ben is the leader of our team today?” I nodded.
I waited for him to ask me what I was doing here, letting that pompous boy rule, but he just laughed. My body tingled and my hairs stood up. It felt amazing to hear him laugh. He shook his head multiple times with a smile.
“A small sacrifice,” I joked.
“A big one,”
he said softly, and I felt my cheeks redden.
I was doing all that I could to be able to have a scholarship for college and trying to make my resume as good as possible, but it would have to be fine that I didn’t participate in this debate.
Hopefully.
We never talked about it, but I supposed that he knew that I needed the scholarship to be able to afford college. Even though I had been working for some years, and I had some money saved, that money was not going to be enough for it. A part of my salary was to help pay for our home and all expenses like food and rent.
My mom was working like crazy, and the least I could do was to help. My dad was not helpful. He and I didn’t have the best relationship. He wasn’t like Mr. Willow at all. He thought feelings and tears were trash. He also had a temper and laziness that made him jobless every few months. In a small town, rumors were like gasoline, and not many wanted to give him a try at another job.
Usually, it was my mom that had to beg and ask for some favors so he could get a job—not that my dad realized the sacrifices of my mom. In some weeks, some months at the most, he was being kicked out.
My mom said that my dad was her true love, and that sometimes life was hard and not like the fairy tales that I loved to read when I was younger. That love required effort and forgiveness and hard work.
At first, I thought it was almost romantic what she was saying, but year after year, he didn’t change.
In fact, he was getting worse. He was more drunk than sober, and he didn’t have a driver’s license because of it.
A couple of years back, he spent all our savings in some bet and then we couldn’t move out of our trailer. I thought Mom was going to kick him after that, but after crying for a week, she seemed to have forgotten about it.
I was furious. I felt betrayed by him. He didn’t seem to care. My mom, either. She told me it was done, to get over it.
But that was the wake-up call that I needed to save some money for myself. They thought I was gaining less than I was. I realized that if I didn’t have my savings and goals, and did it all myself, people wouldn’t come to save me.
My mom was more worried about my dad getting better. I thought it helped her that he never hit her. Never cheated—that we knew of. In her brain, she might be able to get past his addiction with alcohol and gambling.
Also, he was attentive with her and romantic sometimes. To be honest, it was a whole rollercoaster in their relationship. The highest highs and the lowest lows.
Now, I get you everything, and it looks like I learned my lesson. Two days later, I hit some man at a bar while I was so drunk that I forget everything the next day.
Then, I ask for forgiveness and make it seem like it wasn’t my fault, then disappear for days because I was arrested for stealing a car while under the influence. e
It happened in another town, so we didn’t know until someone called, wanting us to pay the bail. We were worried that he was dead somewhere else while he was in a cell, too ashamed to call.
Then people asked why I was single. Not only did I not have time, but it also scared me to get into a relationship and end up being my mom—or worse, my dad.
Aaron’s family had helped in that regard, seeing other happy couples getting through life, and even though I knew that I had never lived with any of these couples, it looked like they were in a healthier relationship.
Aaron was not like my father. He was always kind and caring. Doing the good thing. Being dependable. Empathetic. Not ashamed to show his emotions. He was more like my mom.
And I wanted him for me. I was selfish. I was temperamental. Grumpy.
I was also a hard worker, not like my father, but I was scared of becoming like him when I was with someone as selfless as Aaron. Even if only as a friend.
It was easier when I thought he hated me. It was more painful, but I didn’t have the fear of hurting him or the hope of being able to have someone as special as him in my corner. Aaron squeezed my hand and brought me back from my thoughts.
I looked around, and some of his siblings were almost out. I couldn’t imagine the weariness that they had after a day like today. I didn’t want to ask why no one knew more about their grandpa, or what had really happened. It seemed like they didn’t want to talk about it, so I tried to send it to the back of my mind and be a good distraction for them.
A gasp left my mouth, and Aaron looked at me, worried. I looked around. Luckily, I hadn’t woken up any of his siblings.
I hadn’t called my mom yet, and I couldn’t go to work tomorrow. At least for the first few hours. I had never asked for vacation days. I always asked for more hours to gain some extra money. I supposed my boss would be fine with it if I explained what had happened.
“I need to make some calls,”
I whispered to Aaron. He got up and pulled my hand, directing us towards the door. Cassie was looking at our hands with a smirk, her eyebrows high and her eyes wide open. It wasn’t what it looked like. My cheeks must have been red. I didn’t know what type of sorcery Aaron had that I was always blushing around him. I wasn’t the blushing or giggling type.
I followed him until we got into a blue room that had a single bed and a shelf filled with books. Some photos were framed and there was a poster of our first chess tournament.
“My room,”
he said sheepishly. Our hands disconnected and he touched his hair, making it more messy. It looked so soft I wanted to touch it.
It’s just hair, I reminded to myself. Nothing fancy. Just normal human hair that looked so black it was almost blueish.
“You would have more privacy here. I will be outside when you finish.”
I looked around his room again. “I’m going to regret letting you into my room, aren’t I?”
He was smiling.
“It would be your fault if I found some embarrassing stuff.”
“I suppose it would.”
He gave me his phone. After leaving and closing his door, I dialed my boss’ number. I was a tiny bit nervous about her reply.
“Hello, Diana speaking.”
“Hi, it’s Maya. I had a family emergency and I’m not going to be able to come tomorrow. At least the first few hours.”
“What has your dad done now?”
She sounded angry.
“N-Nothing. The Willows had an emergency, and I’m with them in their hometown.”
“Oh, that explains everything.”
“What does it explain?”
“Nothing, kiddo.”
“Well…”
I paused. “We don’t know exactly how things are going. Their grandpa is sick and the doctors don’t know what’s going to happen. I know I’m supposed to be covering tomorrow’s breakfast, and this is last minute, and that you gave me today to be able to go to the debate, but I will cover as many shifts as you want. All the weekends—”
“Poor family. Don’t worry about work; I’ll make sure that your shift is covered. Let me know when you know more about it, alright? Give them a big hug from me, and let them know that they will have a free milkshake when they come, huh?”
I was speechless. This was easier than I thought.
“Thank you so much, Diana. It means so much.”
“Don’t worry, girl. You’re working too much, anyway. A breather will help. Tell them I send them my prayers.”
“I will. Thanks again.”
She disconnected, and I was elated. That went so well.
Now to call my mom. She didn’t reply. She was working. I decided to wait a little before calling again, and I knew the perfect way to spend that time.
The walls were blueish, and the bed had a quilt on it with some rocket drawings on it. He had a bookshelf that took up almost one wall with many colorful copies on it. I knew his likes in books. I supposed these were the ones that he read in summer or when he came here to visit his family.
I focused on the pictures that were on the shelf as well. One with his grandpa on his birthday. He was smiling proudly next to him with a book in his hands. I knew this book. It was the one that he’d thought I stolen from him. My mood soured.
It had been the downfall of our childhood friendship. He thought I’d stolen it from him, and I’d thought he was being an ass for even assuming I would do something as bad as stealing. We hadn’t talked about it, even now. It was like we both had decided to leave it in the past, but I’d wondered over the years if he continued to think that I stole it. And, until recently, I would bet that he did, but now, I didn’t know anymore. It would hurt if he still thought that I would cause that pain to him on purpose, so it was better if I didn’t.
Then, there was a picture of all the siblings. Aaron with baby Ayla in his arms. He looked like a professional big brother. After so many siblings, one knew how to hold a baby.
I remembered when I first went to their house that there were so many kids running around, and they made it look so effortless. It was a completely different world for me, but it seemed picturesque in the sweetest, craziest way. A full house filled with laughter and kids.
I continued to check the shelf. There were some trinkets on it.
A baseball ball.
A red ribbon from some competition.
A small trophy for being the best at spelling.
A figurine.
Some cars.
And another picture.
The frame was pink with fairies on it, and a picture of Aaron and me was in it. His mouth was covered with chocolate, and my hair looked insane, both smiling with hands around each other’s shoulders. It was the first time that I’d gone to their house.
Then, on a wooden board, there were some more pictures with me on it.
A chess competition.
A debate one.
Our school graduation.
We both had grown up with each other in our lives, even if part of that time was competing with each other.
Still, Aaron had been a constant in my life, and it was scary to think that he and his family would not be one after we left for college. I didn’t care about leaving our small town, or my parents, or missing my coworkers, but I knew that not seeing them would be hard. Especially Aaron.
Him forgetting about me, and me just being a footnote in the story of his life hurt.
I shook the thoughts and called my mom again. She picked up this time.
“Hi, Mom.”
“Hey, Maya. How was the debate?”
“Well, I was there, and then I heard that the Willows left town because their grandpa was having an emergency operation, and now I’m at their house in their hometown.”
“What? Isn’t that, like, three hours by car?”
“It is.”
More than five in the bus, but who’s counting? “I called my boss and she told me that it was okay. I’m going to spend the night here and probably will come back tomorrow.”
“Maya—”
“It’s alright. I’ll do extra hours.”
“That’s not what I was going to say.”
She sighed. “Are you sure that you are not intruding? It’s a family moment, Maya. What if instead of helping you are being a liability?”
“I asked them, and they told me that it was fine.”
“For them, fine is like hell no to us.”
“That’s not—”
“You’re only another mouth to feed right now.”
“Mom, that’s not what’s happening. I’ll help them in any way. I’ll cook for them.”
“They probably have a cook.”
“They don’t.”
“Are you sure?”
“At least in their home, they don’t.”
“Well, I have to hang up. Some customers just entered. Let me know when you’re coming back.”
“I will.”
She hung up.
I got out of the room. I didn’t see Aaron, but I could hear some loud voices from the cinema room.
Did they know what had happened to their grandpa?
I ran towards the room. I opened the door completely and braced for what I would find. They were jumping up and down, hugging each other and crying.
“He’s alive!”
Evelyn yelled.
“He just got out of the operation, and the doctor said that it went well,”
supplied Niko. He still had the phone in his arms and was trying to cover the tears that were falling freely. He had Ayla in his arms and was twirling her around. They were smiling like crazy. I looked for Aaron and found him hugging Henry.
His eyes were the most gorgeous blue I had ever seen. His smile was contagious. I jumped into his arms and we went to the ground. I was worried that I’d hurt him, but he was laughing loudly. I looked into his eyes. Then, someone jumped on top of us, and the rest followed.
I could feel the vibration of Aaron’s laugh in my hands. Being there, surrounded by the Willows, sharing laughter while my hands were on Aaron felt glorious. I was the luckiest person in the world.
“Let’s get some ice cream,”
Niko said. “All in the truck in five, four, three, two, one, go.”
They all ran downstairs.
“Be careful on the stairs!”
Aaron said loudly, then sighed. Niko grabbed his shoulder. “I will take care of them. You can stay if you want.”
Then, he messed up his hair. “Are you coming or staying, Maya?”
I looked at Aaron. He nodded softly.
“Staying.”
He nodded and left. Niko didn’t make any faces, so I couldn’t read his thoughts. “Well, my lovely nemesis, what do you have in mind?”
He smirked.