Chapter 5 Heidi #2
Releasing a deep sigh, I opened my car door, snatched up my purse, and exited the vehicle. Heading inside, each step I took made this adoption thing more real. Seeing the many parents fill the lobby, I could only help but wonder if they were a candidate for my child as well.
“Hi, how can I help you today?” the receptionist asked.
“Hi, I’m here for Erin Squinks. She called about an hour ago and asked me to come in,” I replied.
“Are you… Heidi Mitchell?” she questioned looking at a sticky note.
“I am.”
“She’s expecting you. Would you follow me please? I’ll take you to her.” Standing from her chair, she rounded her desk and nodded for me to follow behind.
She led the way, and my nerves bounced on every wall we passed.
I felt like my heart was beating a mile a minute, and my breathing was unstable.
The voices of small children laughing seemed to be the loudest thing around me.
I was great with kids. All of Royce’s children adored me and Maaz fell in line as well.
I didn’t understand what had me so shook up.
“Here we are.” She gave the door a light tap and Ms. Squinks voice came through loud and clear.
“Come in,” she sang.
The receptionist threw on a smile, opened the door, and walked away. I entered slowly peaking my head around the door. We locked eyes almost instantly.
“Ms. Squinks, it’s me,” I called out with a slight wave.
“Oh, Heidi, please join us,” she stated standing from her desk.
“Please excuse me. I just came from the gym,” I apologized stepping in and shutting the door behind me.
“No worries.”
As I entered her office completely, my eyes quickly fell on the little boy that sat across from her. His wild curly hair covered so much of his face. He reminded me of BeBe from the proud family, especially with his attire. My curiosity was sparked indeed.
“Come have a seat,” she said smiling from ear to ear. She’d pointed to the seat directly next to the boy.
Walking over, we shook hands briefly with my attention darting right back in his direction. “Ms. Squinks, what’s going on?” I questioned never letting my focus drop.
“Well, I called you here today for this little guy. Lincoln, do you mind lifting your head for me sweetie?”
He did like she asked flipping his hair up as well and my breath was snatched away.
He was the cutest little boy I’d ever seen.
Not to mention he had the prettiest set of hazel eyes on him.
If I had to guess, I’d say he looked to be about four, no older than six years old.
He was so tiny and wore such a terrified expression.
He probably used his hair to shelter himself from others.
I looked at Ms. Squinks and she went into the explanation I silently asked her for. My stipulation coming into this was clear. I asked her time and time again if that would be alright, and she assured me she’d fulfill my request to the best of her abilities.
“I tried to honor your request Heidi, I truly did. However, that category is very difficult to find. Seeing Lincoln, then learning what he’d been through, I thought you two would be perfect.
You’re looking to nurture a child, and he genuinely needs it.
The desperation comes from both him and the agency.
We’d love it if you took him in. He’s six and hasn’t been shown what a solid foundation looks like. Please, give him a chance,” she ranted.
“I don’t know how to…” I was at a loss for words simply because I had no excuses for her.
Lincoln was an adorable little boy, and he looked as if love hadn’t come his way at all in his lifetime. Those eyes were beautiful, but they were also lifeless. Nothing sat behind them, and I didn’t know if I was the right person to bring him happiness.
“Ms. Squinks, I wasn’t mentally prepared for a child his age,” I expressed.
The joy in her eyes were slowly but surely beginning to fade.
I heard the desperation in her voice while she tried explaining also.
Kids at this age were smart enough to know who their mother was.
Coming as a newborn, I would be all they knew.
This little boy had already seen too much and had probably accepted his outcome.
However, the longer I looked at him, the harder it was to just walk away. Sadness surrounded him causing a suffocation for me. Staring at me, I could tell he only wanted to be accepted. No six-year-old should’ve known anything other than being a child. I felt for him.
Extending my hands in his direction, he moved his out of reach. He was terrified and cautious of me. I knew the body language oh too well. Squatting down in front of him, I put on a smile to soften the mood. I was often told my smile was a warming one.
“Hi Lincoln, my name is Heidi. Can I tell you something about me?” He hesitantly nodded giving me the floor. “Cool beans. So, my favorite food is pizza. It doesn’t matter the toppings. I like it all. What’s yours?”
With a finger in his mouth, his words were barely heard. His shyness was dominant at the moment. “Chicken and ice cream,” he spoke softly.
“Want to know something else?” He nodded hesitantly again.
It was expected at this point. I was a stranger trying to hold conversation.
“I have a friend who owns her own ice cream shop. I bet there’s tons of flavors you haven’t even tried.
Maybe, if you give me a chance and come live with me, we can visit her shop.
She loves kids, especially the ones whose favorite food is ice cream. Would you like that?” I bargained.
“Yes,” he whispered.
“Cool. Do you remember my name?” He shook his head from side to side. “Can you say Heidi?”
“Heidi,” he repeated.
“Good job.” Standing, I looked at Ms. Squinks and nodded giving her the okay. It seemed as if the prayer I sent up in the car was in motion.
“Thank you, Heidi for doing this. You’re such a saint.
I just knew he would be accepted by you.
The paperwork will take about another week or two and then we will be good to go.
That leaves more than enough time for you to gather whatever you’ll need for him.
We’ll do an inspection one last time as well. ”
“That’s fine. I’ll be ready Ms. Squinks. Okay baby boy, it seems like we’re going to be a family. Would you like that?” I was back in a squatting position so he wouldn’t feel like he was being forced into this.
He offered another, “Yes,” before putting his head down.
“Alrighty. I’ll see you soon. Do you like ninja turtles or paw patrol?”
“Toy Story. Woody is my favorite,” he replied.
“Toy Story it is. I’ll have plenty of toys for you in your bedroom then. How does that sound?”
Nodding, his small smile greeted me causing me to return the gesture. I ruffled his curly hair and was back upright. This didn’t go as expected, but it ended on a positive note.
If it’s in your plans God, who am I to alter them?