11. ELEVEN
ELEVEN
Fastening his britches, Gunther—now in his own shape—comes out from behind the same large rock where they stopped to cast the spell on their ascent.
“My, that was something. Phew! It was a thrill to watch! And I must say, Sigurd, your performance was stupendous!”
Sigurd shakes his head. “Gunther, I like this even less now that we’ve done it. I do not think you should come back for her.”
“Oh don’t be ridiculous, Sigurd. It’s too late for that now!”
“No it isn’t. You haven’t married her yet.
It’s just—and I mean no offence to your masculinity or your competence as a warrior—but I have just felt the force of that woman’s might.
She could you pull you apart with her bare hands quicker than four horses could, and with no greater effort than if she tearing up a leaf. ”
“It’s going to be fine. You’re worrying too much.”
“And you’re not worrying enough! You’d be in less peril going to bed with a mother grizzly and her cubs!”
“Only if she finds out. And even then, I’m optimistic of the outcome.”
“She thinks you’re me! ‘A rival to Achilles and Samson,’ that’s what she said. How long do you think it will take for her to discover she’s been duped? I’ll wager you don't even make it back to Worms! And then what? She’ll mince you! Along with any other poor soul standing in your vicinity!”
“Oh really? Well, how about this, Sigurd? In my name, you put Rowena’s ring on her finger and promised to come back and marry her.
What’s going to happen if I don't keep my word? I’ll tell you: The months will slip by, maybe even a year or two will pass, and then, when I least expect it, I’ll look out the window of my palace and see Icelandic warships coming up the Rhine with that scorned woman at the prow.
No thank you, Sigurd, I’m not interested. ”
“You’re right,” says Sigurd, shrugging Balmung off his shoulder, “It’s best to put an end to this right now and save ourselves any unwelcome surprises.”
“Have you lost your mind?” cries Gunther, “On the way up here you were afraid to drink a potion and say a few magic words, and now you want to go back up there and kill a woman in cold blood just as a pre-emptive measure?”
“I’ve made it clear from the beginning that I never wanted any of this!” Sigurd says, starting back up toward the temple with the six-foot blade in his grasp.
“Even so Sigurd,” says Gunther, rushing after him, “you can’t just kill Brünhilda! She’s the Queen of Iceland! You’ll start a war, and we can't afford to wage another one!”
Sigurd stops.
“Not to even mention that King Gudmund won’t stay neutral for very long once he hears you’ve cleaved his favourite niece in half.
And not even you can out-muscle Prince H?fund and all the giants of Glassisvellir!
Listen to me. It’s as simple as this: you kill her, war with Iceland; I don’t come back for her, war with Iceland.
But, if I do come back for her, and marry her, then we get her and her troops to bolster our forces against Stilicho and this rising threat from the Huns, along with all the other tribes who will join our coalition due to the fame of this feat we’ve engineered. ”
“Yes, Gunther, I know. It’s the perfect plan—until she discovers this evil trick we're playing on her and she rips your legs off of your body.”
“No—”
“Gunther!”
“No, listen to me. That isn’t going to happen, and I’ll tell you why.
For several hundred years that woman has been craving the day her husband will come for her.
Don’t you see Sigurd? She's been hoping to lose! She’s a Valkyrie and a great and noble queen, so of course she wouldn’t lose on purpose.
She’s been striving to win with all her might, but she's been longing for a man to come beat her in the contest, marry her, and take her away from this blasted volcano! Now you think if she finds out the truth she’ll fly into a green rage and pluck off all my appendages; but I don’t.
I think she’ll be upset, yes, but I don't think she’ll have the slightest inclination of harming me.
After all, I am what she’s been pining away for all this time.
Do you really think she’ll be that hung up on the details?
No! She’ll be feverish with the passion of a newly entered marriage! I doubt she’ll even care!”
“I hope for your sake that you’re right.”
“Look, Sigurd, you’ve done your part, and you were magnificent. But the time for brute strength is over. It is now time for the cunning machinations of the sharp-minded courtier!”
“Fine! Do whatever seems best to you. I think that woman will bring you to ruin.”
“We shall see about that, Sigurd,” says Gunther. He smiles exuberantly and starts to whistle through his teeth as they resume their hike back down to the port of Str?ndheim.