Chapter 14 #2
Even once she’d put the sweatshirt on, however, she still couldn’t stop shaking. She pulled her feet up onto the seat and hunched into a small, self-protective ball.
Ralph’s voice sliced through the silence.
‘We’ve all had too much to drink,’ he said, trying to take control of the situation. ‘We should get some sleep.’
He pushed back his chair, ready to rise, but Hannah hadn’t finished yet.
‘So, Mac,’ she said scornfully, ‘how shall… I mean, what do you suggest… hic… how exactly do I tell the kids their daddy’s killed someone?’
Despite feeling weak and exhausted, Edie managed to uncurl her legs, sit up straight and stare hard at Hannah. She was willing her friend to look her in the eye and calm down.
‘Hannah, I?—’
She wanted to say – stop now and go indoors before it’s too late – but Hannah was like a steam train hurtling towards its final destination.
‘You do realise this means our marriage is over?’ Hannah told her husband, lurching to one side as she spoke and only just managing to save herself.
Smiling grimly, she drew her right index finger slowly across her neck, from one side to the other, in a macabre cutting motion.
‘That’s it, we’re finished. Kaput!’
A loud crash made everyone turn and stare. Ralph had risen and accidentally knocked over his wooden chair.
‘I’m going to bed,’ he announced, bending down to pick the chair up. He fixed on Hannah, who stared at him blankly as if she had no idea who he was. ‘I think you should too.’
Edie was about to get up and join her husband when she was distracted by another sound, like someone tearing through thick fabric, followed by a series of rapid inhalations.
On glancing at Mac, her stomach twisted and her hands instinctively fluttered to her chest.
His head was bowed and he was sobbing. Proper, big, hot, salty tears were running down his cheeks and his thin body was shaking uncontrollably. He also seemed to be gasping for breath.
Her instinct was to run over and give him a hug and try to comfort him. But she felt as if someone or something had strapped her down, binding her arms and legs so tightly she could barely move.
She’d only seen Ralph cry once, after he’d admitted to cheating on her, and she’d been profoundly shocked, so rare was it for him to show any vulnerability.
Mac’s tears appeared to have melted away all his anger and sarcasm, and he looked as small and weak as a newborn baby.
‘Hey, Mac—’ Ralph said softly, but Hannah interrupted before he could finish the sentence.
‘Stop it! Stop crying!’
She was gripping the edge of the table so hard, her knuckles had gone white. By contrast, the skin on her face and neck was stained blood red.
Edie held her breath, uncertain now whether to stay or go and dreading what was coming next.
Mac looked up at his wife through wet, swollen eyes. ‘I haven’t hurt anyone, I swear,’ he said in a trembling voice. ‘Please don’t leave me. You’re everything to me. I’d be lost without you.’
He looked so abject and pitiful, Edie thought at any moment he might fall to his knees and beg. She wouldn’t be able to bear it.
Part of her wanted to shake him and tell him to get a grip; the other part wanted to take away his suffering. Whatever he might or might not have done, it was profoundly upsetting to see him in so much pain.
Ralph plonked down on his chair again, looking worn out and defeated. However this was going to play out, it seemed he and Edie were destined to stay till the bitter end.
Hannah, unmoved by her husband’s despair, gave him a look of such cold, hard contempt, it would have made a monster recoil.
‘I always knew this would happen,’ Mac said quietly. ‘I knew you’d leave me in the end. I’ve tried so fucking hard. I thought if I loved you enough, you’d eventually fall in love with me . But it didn’t work, did it?’
He gazed at her, pleading, but she turned her face away.
‘I was never good enough for you,’ he added, with a crack in his voice. ‘Not like all your other men…’
A howl, like a wild animal’s, filled the air, chilling Edie to her bones. It was a frightening, primeval sound that seemed to come not from him, but from someone or something else, way back when, at the very dawn of time.
Hannah’s glare set Edie’s nerves jangling.
‘I could never love you,’ she said, through gritted teeth. ‘Look at you! You’re so weak. Even the slightest sound makes you jump.’
Picking up her fork, she took a step towards her husband and he cringed, like a beaten dog, staring up at her with frightened eyes.
‘Don’t hit me.’
Hannah laughed. ‘See! You’re scared of your own shadow.’
Watching in silent horror, Edie felt as if cloudy films, like cataracts, were being removed from both her eyes. All of a sudden, she had twenty-twenty vision, and the light was almost blinding.
In a flash, she was certain she could see the truth. It was as if she’d been struck by lightning and nothing would ever be the same again.
‘Mac?’ she said, scarcely recognising her own voice, which had become surprisingly strong and steady. ‘Did you throw that mirror in your bedroom the other night – or was it Hannah?’
He swallowed and his eyes darted this way and that. He was in a quandary; she could imagine the cogs in his brain working overtime to figure out the right response.
‘It was her, wasn’t it?’ Edie gently pressed.
She was aware of Hannah, who’d sat down again, shifting noisily, scraping her chair on the paving stones beneath.
‘You’re wrong!’ she hissed, but Edie remained fixed on Mac; she was willing him to open up, to allow light to enter the darkness, possibly for the first time.
‘Mac?’ she repeated.
He licked his lips. He’d stopped crying but his hands were trembling and his body shook, like a building in an earthquake.
At last, he opened his mouth and the word that came out was so quiet, she could barely hear it. But she knew, without a shadow of doubt, from the shape his lips had made, what that word was.
‘Yes.’
‘Enough!’
They all turned to look at Hannah, who was standing again, clutching onto the back of her chair for support.
‘I’m not listening to this. It’s a lie. He’s a liar.’
She stooped down to pick up her bag from the ground and began to stagger towards the villa. Once or twice, she stumbled, but no one ran to help. They couldn’t seem to move.
Once she’d gone, Edie, feeling sick as hell yet emboldened, too, straightened up and spoke again.
‘It’s not the first time she’s hurt, or tried to hurt you, is it?’
Slowly and reluctantly, Mac shook his head.
Edie glanced at Ralph, whose jaw was clenched and his face had turned white with anger.
‘Those cuts and bruises I’ve seen on you – were they her, too?’ he asked urgently, and Mac nodded.
Edie didn’t know anything about them; Ralph hadn’t told her.
Her husband’s face crumpled and he let out a small cry of anguish, which made her heart hurt.
‘I’m so sorry, mate,’ he said, putting his head in his hands. ‘I should have realised something wasn’t right. I should have asked more questions. It just never occurred to me.’
‘You don’t have to put up with this any more,’ Edie added gently, shuffling closer to Mac. ‘Why didn’t you say anything? You should have spoken to us, or rung the police. Or preferably, both.’
Mac sniffed and wiped his red, puffy eyes with the corner of his napkin.
‘I don’t know. Fear, I suppose.’ He laughed bitterly.
‘Hannah’s right, I am weak and pathetic.
She tells me that all the time. And she says if I leave, I’ll never see the kids again.
Plus, I’ll have nowhere to live and nothing to live on.
She’s threatened to ring my clients and tell them I’m a wife beater.
She says no one will believe it’s the other way round and I’ll lose my business and she’ll make sure I don’t get a penny from her.
I know she’s right; she always wins. I wouldn’t stand a chance against her in court. ’
Edie took a deep breath. She’d read about women who abused their husbands, but had never been able to imagine how the situation could arise in reality, given that men are physically so much stronger.
Now, here was the evidence, sitting right beside her, and suddenly she understood completely. Mac was no different, really, from women who suffered domestic abuse; he’d been broken down, bit by bit, until he had no self-esteem and couldn’t see a way out. He felt trapped.
A sudden thought crossed her mind.
‘Don’t you ever fight back? I mean, don’t you want to hurt her after she’s hurt you?’
‘No.’ Mac was emphatic. ‘I’ve never laid a finger on her. I couldn’t. I wouldn’t hit any woman; it’s been ingrained in me virtually since birth.’
He seemed truthful and Edie wanted to believe him. But she had one more question.
‘Do you know anything about Jessica? You can tell us, you know. We’re friends and we’ll do everything we can to help.’
She watched him carefully and to her immense relief, his expression didn’t change.
‘The last time I saw her was just before she left the house to go to Knossos,’ he replied.
‘While I was running I was all alone. I didn’t see her at all – I really did go off-piste.
There was a lot on my mind and I completely forgot about the shopping.
Jessica thinks I’m the devil and I dislike her intensely, but I wouldn’t want anything bad to have happened to her. Like you, I’m desperately afraid.’