21. Roxie
When I woke up, my head was pounding, and I felt an urgent need to throw up. But those physical discomforts were nothing compared to the wretched ache in my heart. Curling to my side, I squeezed my eyes shut, and the sorrow in Henry’s eyes formed in my vision.
But I needed to be strong. After seeing him at that party with his extravagant friends, I realized just how different our lives were. I could never see myself mixing with those people. They were in a different league, with different expectations. Henry deserved so much better than me.
My heart tore apart at that rotten decision, but I knew it was right. I would hold him back. No, it would be more like I’d drag him back. I wasn’t into fancy clothing or high heels. I’d felt every pair of eyes looking at me last night, and I’d never felt so frumpy in my life.
At first, I’d been caught up in the wonder of it all, but I thought I could do it. But what those women had said in the bathroom was so true.
Henry was special. He deserved special.
My heart squeezed so tight I could barely breathe. Tears stung my eyes, and I forced back the pain.
“Hey, sis, you awake?” Priscilla knocked once and then entered the room. “Happy new. . . hey, what’s wrong?”
I wiped my eyes and nudged aside so my sister could sit on the bed.
“Did he hurt you?”
“God, no! Why would you even think that?”
“Because you’re crying. And I’ve never met him. You know. . . Jack the Ripper and all that.”
I twisted my face up at my sister. “Jesus! He’s not like that.”
“What happened then?”
I groaned, and Priscilla waggled her head. “You know I’m not going away until you tell me everything.”
I rolled my eyes, knowing my sister meant it. She’d pulled this routine on me many times.
“Start with when he picked you up.”
“Can I at least have a coffee first? And I need the bathroom.”
“Right.” She whipped back the bed covers. “You go to the loo, and I’ll have your coffee ready by the time you get back.”
Again, I groaned but rolled out of bed. When Priscilla left the room, I changed from my nightwear into a slip dress. One glance in the mirror had me moaning. Dark smudges below my eyes were the remnants of mascara that I’d neglected to wipe off before falling into bed. I licked my finger and tried to wipe it away, but it was pointless.
I opened the door to see my sister standing in the kitchen. “Can I please use your makeup wipes?”
“Sure, hun.” Priscilla went into her room and returned with a large, bright pink makeup bag.
“Thanks.”
I wiped away the mess, but it didn’t make me look much better. Snapping my eyes away from my reflection, I left my room, stepped down to the annex, and managed to hold it together as I wished Todd and all the kids a happy new year.
I stepped outside. As I waddled up the street, my emotions began to fester. Soon I had difficulty breathing. I entered a cubicle and locked the door. It would have been so easy to hide in there and wallow in my sorrow for the next few hours. But Priscilla would be onto me in a flash.
Reluctantly, I headed back to my sister and the looming interrogation I knew was coming.
By the time I returned to the caravan, Priscilla had cranked up the air conditioning and evicted her family from the annex.
She sat at the inside table with two steaming coffee mugs and one chocolate muffin that she’d sliced in two. I half-grinned at my sister’s eagerness as I slipped into the booth seat opposite her. In the time it had taken me to go to the bathroom, Priscilla had applied her daily makeup and done her hair. As usual, she looked stunning.
I, on the other hand, felt like crap and looked like it too.
“Okay, start from the beginning.” Priscilla leaned over the table and rested her hand over mine.
I blew onto the coffee, then put the mug down. “Henry looked absolutely stunning. I’m pretty sure he was wearing designer clothing. He wore a stunning plum-colored long-sleeve shirt with silver cufflinks and a gray vest that had a lovely filigree pattern. Sis, you would’ve drooled.”
A thin smile formed on her lips, and I knew she was thinking that I was exaggerating.
“Anyway, he took me to his friend’s house at Paradise Waters. It’s a gated community on the canal. Nicholas was the one with the fancy yacht I told you about.”
“Oh wow, he must be absolutely loaded to live there.”
“His house was amazing. Anyway, there were at least a hundred and fifty people there. They had a band, and waiters were handing out drinks and trays of delicious canapés. It was all absolutely incredible.”
“So, what happened?”
“Well, that’s just it. Henry looked so comfortable. He fit in, and everybody seemed to know him. Gorgeous women were hanging off every word he said. But I looked like a total imposter.”
“No, you wouldn’t have.”
“Everyone was looking at me like I was the housemaid who’d snuck into the party. It made me realize Henry was so far out of my league, and I was fooling myself. One woman I met in the bathroom. . . you should have seen her. She was dressed up like she was going to a movie premier in Hollywood or something. Anyway, she told me Henry had taken her to the opera.”
“Really?” Her eyes lit up like it was the best idea ever.
“Priscilla, I’d be miserable if I had to live like that. But if that’s the type of lifestyle Henry is used to, then. . . we. . . I. . . can’t—” I choked on a sob.
“Hey.” Priscilla rubbed my arm. “At least you found out now before things got too serious.”
My heart squeezed, and I fought the urge to tell her that I’d already let it get serious.
We chatted a bit more, but it was mostly Priscilla who wanted to know all about the party. It didn’t take much to recognize that my sister would give anything to attend a function like that. I loved going out and putting on a nice frock, but not to that extent.
I couldn’t imagine the effort those women went to in preparation for last night. The longest I’d ever taken to get ready was when Priscilla demanded to do my hair and makeup for her engagement party. I can still recall looking in the mirror and thinking that I didn’t even look like myself.
I couldn’t live like that.
“Now,” Priscilla’s eyes lit up. “Don’t forget we’re going to see mom today.”
I groaned. “What time?”
“I told her we’d be there at ten o’clock.”
I glanced at the clock and groaned again. I had just one hour to prepare myself for that horrible meeting.
“You need to eat, get showered, and get your head in the game. I’m not going to let Mom walk all over us this time, and neither are you.”
I flopped my head down on the table. The new year that had looked so promising had turned to shit.
Priscilla dragged me upright, and while I made myself peanut butter on toast and another cup of coffee, she went in search of her family.
Before I’d had time to mentally prepare myself for this confrontation, Priscilla was weaving her SUV through the Gold Coast traffic. Then again, I was certain nothing would prepare me for what was coming.
Thirty minutes after leaving the caravan, Priscilla pulled into our parents’ driveway and parked the car. She leaned over and touched my hand. “Stay strong. This is our chance to get all the shit out in the open.”
“Yeah, I know. It’s time.”
“You betcha it is.”
Our mother greeted us with a huge smile and hugs for both of us. “It’s so lovely of you to come together. Happy New Year!”
If she had any inkling of what was coming, she’d have run a thousand miles. My mother did everything possible to avoid conflict. I’d seen her walk out in the middle of a heated discussion many times. I had no idea where she went each time, and if my father knew, he didn’t seem worried.
I was not going to let her get away this time.
Our mother led us to the sunroom. She’d already placed a tea cake onto a stand in the middle of the small round table, set with a floral tablecloth and her best gold-trimmed crockery set.
“Where’s dad?” Priscilla asked.
“Oh, he’s tinkering out in the shed.” She waved a hand. “You know how he is.”
“Well, he needs to hear this.”
Mother bunched her lips together, and her eyes darted from one daughter to the next. “Hear what?”
“Roxie, do you want to get him?” Priscilla didn’t answer our mother’s question.
“Sure.” I stepped out onto the patio and heard my father hammering away in the shed.
“Hey, Dad,” I said as I entered the darkened space.
“Roxie, Happy New Year. How are you?” He put the hammer down, squeezed my shoulders, and leaned forward to kiss my cheek.
“I’m okay. Can you please come inside? Priscilla and I need to talk to you and Mom about something.”
“Oh, that sounds ominous.”
“Yeah.” I didn’t elaborate. Instead, I turned on my heel and headed back inside.
Priscilla and Mother were both seated, and our mother already looked so fearful I wondered what Priscilla had said.
“Hey, Dad,” Priscilla said, “take a seat.”
He tugged out a chair and sat without a word.
I cleared my throat, but as I had no idea where to start, I waited to see if Priscilla would speak first. I didn’t have to wait long.
Priscilla turned to our mother, and I knew her opening comment was going to sting. “Roxie told me about the abortion you forced her to take when she was sixteen.”