Chapter 32
The first thing Dina did on her way to the hospital was call Scott’s mums. And then Eric. They were all on their way, but it would take them another hour at least. She paced around the waiting room, casting every kind of spell and charm she could think of from a distance.
Guilt rotted its way through her body. This was her fault. She’d known the hex was still in effect; she’d seen the signs and chosen to ignore them. If anything happened to Scott, she was the one to blame.
He had to wake up. He had to be okay.
“Dina?” A nurse had popped her head into the waiting room. “He’s awake.”
She rushed to him.
“Hi, sweetheart,” Scott said, lying in the hospital bed, his cheeks pale, a bandage on the right side of his forehead. “I’m okay.”
“Fuck, Scott. I was so scared.” She kissed him, and buried her face in his neck.
“Me too. I woke up in the ER but they wouldn’t let me see you until I’d had the scan. I’m all clear, no internal bleeding. Apparently, cuts on the head can bleed a lot, which makes them look worse than they are. I reckon I terrified the librarian who found me.”
She shuddered to even think aboutit.
“Does it hurt?” she asked.
“It stings a little. They had to give me a couple of stitches. Do you reckon I’ll have a cool scar?”
She smacked his chest. “Don’t you dare make me laugh right now.”
“The paramedics said I was lucky that I hit my head where I did. A few more centimeters to the left and I might have done some serious damage.”
What if he’s not so lucky next time? Dina thought. The hex was escalating, working hard to see that Scott was hurt. If she didn’t leave now, it would surely kill him. She couldn’t live with that.
Dina cupped his face, doing her best to memorize every feature. She kissed his cheeks, his eyes, his lips. She ran her fingers through his beard. Tears fell freely down her cheeks.
“Sweetheart, what’s going on?”
She loved him so much—how was she supposed to do this?
“It’s all my fault,” she said, her voice muffled against his hospital gown.
“What is?”
“Why bad things keep happening to you. Why you keep getting hurt.”
“Dina, it was just a rickety old ladder that some maintenance person forgot to fix. You certainly aren’t to blame for any of that.”
She looked up at him, and Scott brushed the tears away with his thumb.
“Please just listen to what I have to say,” she whispered. Not willing to let go of him for a second, Dina tucked herself into his side, her arms curled tightly around his neck.
With a deep breath, she began speaking.
“When I was younger, someone hexed me. They didn’t mean to, but they did. They hexed me so that everyone who falls in love with me will get hurt. Do you understand? All of this is because of the hex. All the accidents you’ve had since you met me. Since you fell in love with me”—her voice broke with a sob—“and it’s never going to stop. It will only get worse from here.”
Scott shook his head. He looked like he didn’t want to believe her. She let him have a moment, watching as the truth of her words settled into his bones, his lips thinning.
“Can you reverse the hex? Or break it?”
“I’ve tried so many things. Nothing has worked.”
He took a deep breath.
“Christ, Dina. Why didn’t you tell me about this? How long does it last? Maybe it just runs out of power after a certain point. Did the others stay around long enough to find out?”
He was angry. He was mad at her for not telling him. She deserved that.
She hadn’t considered it might run out of power before. But no, it was too dangerous to risk it. Besides, if it had lasted all these years she doubted it would fade out of existence the moment it had a chance to really get to work.
“I don’t think so,” she said.
“Is there a way to counteract it somehow?”
“That’s what I tried, with the protection necklaces. And I’ve been reading your tea leaves. But it’s getting stronger.”
Scott’s eyes softened, and he pulled her close for a kiss.
“We can figure this out, Dina, please don’t give up. We’ll think of something. What if—”
“There is something we can do,” Dina broke in. She began to stand, pulling away from him.
“No. Come here,” Scott said, his arms open. She shook her head. “Do you want to go home? Or you can go to my flat for a bit, and bring Heebie?”
“I have to go, Scott. If I stay here, if I stay…with you, then you’ll get hurt.” Dina choked out a sob. “And I don’t want you to ever, ever get hurt again because of me.”
“Dina, sweetheart, what are you saying?”
“We can’t do this anymore. Us.”
“What do you mean? I don’t give a fuck what some hex wants to do to me. I’ll fight it, Dina. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I’m not letting you go.”
“You don’t get to make that choice, Scott. It’s my curse; it’s my burden to bear.”
Scott pulled her into a kiss. Her mouth opened eagerly, their lips crushing together, their bodies melting. Time stopped for a while, but when Dina pulled back, tears still shone in her eyes.
“I need you to know that I’m only doing this because I love you,” she said in a voice that was too quiet, too final.
“Dina—”
“Please don’t make this harder for me, Scott!” she cried. She moved back into the circle of his arms. “If you want,” she said, her voice shaking, “I can make you forget about me.”
Even the thought of it made him sick.
“Don’t you dare,” he growled.
“I love you,” Dina whispered, and then she fled the room.
—
Snow pelted him from every angle, but Scott didn’t even notice it. He’d checked himself out of hospital the moment the doctor had said he could, ignoring the calls from his mums and Eric. He didn’t notice the biting cold or the way his whole body was racked with shivers. His head ached, but he had to keep walking, had to drown out the roar inside him. Each step hurt. Nothing made sense; his mind and his heart were all jumbled, twisted, and broken. He loved her with every morsel of his being. How was he meant to live with this?
Scott placed one foot in front of another, not caring where he went, only that he went away from…from wherever he was. Nowhere could be far enough. These feelings would chase him everywhere.
She had even offered to make him forget her, and it had made him livid with anger. How dare she even consider removing herself from his memories? She was his person— he wanted no one else and would never want anyone else.
It was like he was back in the maze, only this time he was more lost than ever.
Scott rubbed at his cheeks, willing the tears that ran down them to disappear.
He was vaguely aware that people were staring at him—agrown man wiping tears from his eyes, marching down the pavement. He didn’t have it in him to care.
He had lost Dina—fuck, he’d lost her. The look in her eyes when she’d tried to…what? Explain why she had to leave? Well, he’d almost crumpled. He’d almost said, Let it kill me, I don’t care. The past weeks have been the best of my life, and if I only have days with you then that’s better than living without you.
A cold hard surface slammed into Scott, forcing the air out of his lungs. He blinked, looking down to find a metal railing just above waist height. Ahead of him, the Thames surged, waves chopping at each other like steel knives.
Scott realized it was snowing, the delicate flakes melting on his skin and catching in his hair. By the looks of it, he was near Battersea. He looked down at his watch; it was nearly seven in the evening. He’d been walking for hours, the sky had already darkened into its evening shade of murky gray, the snow clouds showing no sign of clearing.
Tomorrow didn’t feel real yet. How could he wake up without Dina in his arms tomorrow, or any morning after that? It all felt like a fathomless darkness. After what felt like hours staring into the darkening waves, his heart beating numbly in his chest, every thought of Dina’s face, Scott turned around and began the long walk home.