Chapter 24
Chapter Twenty-Four
Marcus
F or the first time ever, I don’t want to fight. I don’t want to fuck.
What I want is Hallie under me, over me, and beside me, absolutely and completely.
Those few hours without her—the break in routine that didn’t see our day revolving around one another—were too much. It’d pushed too far.
I hadn’t been jealous, not worried about the slew of men who no doubt looked at her and saw something that they, too, would enjoy. Instead, I’d spent the better part of my day and evening wanting her company, her touch, her smile, and apparently, I’m willing to break all the rules for it.
Hallie’s eyes soften as she looks up at me. She’s spread out on the white sheets of the bed as I drag my thumb over her lower lip. I’d asked her if she knew how long I’d waited for this, the question leaving my mouth without my full consent and attached to a meaning I knew she’d come looking for eventually.
Part of me had expected her to back out of her request for me to take her bare. Part of me maybe even wanted her to, because there’d be no coming back from this, not for me. I’d been her first all those years ago, and I’d found a way to let her go.
I don’t think I’d be able to do it twice.
There’s something in her gaze that wasn’t there before, a recognition that causes her to still beneath me for just a moment, and I want to consume it. So I bring my lips to hers. The gentle moan that leaves her as our kiss deepens reaches inside me, grabbing hold of a loose thread of my control and pulling ever so slightly.
Sliding my thumbs over the delicate skin of her hip bones, I grasp the sides of her panties, dragging them slowly down the seductive curves of her plush thighs. When I drop them on the floor, I catch a glimpse of how the lace glistens, and my mouth waters at the knowledge of just how wet and wanting she is. How soaked the thought of us together has made her. It’s filthy, but I have the urge to pick them up, to use the slick material to rub along the length of my cock, and to have her watch me do it.
I think she’d like it.
But I refrain. This time.
“Hallie?” I call her name gently. Her eyes are lust-filled, slightly dazed, and I need to make sure she’s still with me.
“Yeah?” she whispers back, dragging her fingers down the tightly wound muscles of my stomach.
“Do you know how sweet your skin tastes? Do you know how much time I spend thinking about being here between your thighs?” There’s no laughter in my voice; I’m not teasing. “I want my tongue here.” I press my thumb exactly where I know she needs it. “Are you ready for that?”
Her consent is a jerky nod.
I pull one of her hands into my hair, making sure her fingers are buried within the strands. “I like it when you pull, Hallie, but if you don’t like it, you pull me straight off. I’ll know the difference.”
I waste no time as I press kisses along the heated skin of her chest and stomach, her hips arching up toward my mouth in blatant want. It takes everything in me to not press my mouth straight to the core of her. Instead, I nip along the sensitive skin of her inner thighs.
Finally, realizing the power is in her hands, Hallie pulls on my hair, directing me exactly where she wants me. My lips are already on her sex when I laugh, and she shudders at the sensation.
But the pleasure is all mine as I take a firm, wet lick of her. The rolling of her hips does the work for me as I lose myself, moving between slow and languid, firmer and faster with my tongue.
“Oh god, more, please,” she whimpers, and I can’t help but comply.
I edge her, bringing her closer to release each time until her thighs squeeze around me, and I know she’s close. That she’s ready.
Coming to my knees, I lift her hips higher and closer to my mouth, giving me the access I need to press a finger to curl inside her. The dual stimulation has her wild beneath me, and I follow her lead as she presses me to her, not letting up until she’s gasping as she comes apart.
I press a final kiss to her and then pull myself back up her body to get a good look at her face. Releasing her fingers from their death grip on my hair, Hallie pushes the longer strands back and away from my face, a bright smile gracing her lips. It’s a sucker punch I wasn’t expecting, and it has me on my knees, head over heels for her all over again.
Except the more I think about it, the more I realize I didn’t need to fall for her again. I’d never stopped falling for her the first time.
I swallow at the realization, a tingly sensation spreading across my shoulders.
Regardless of my own turmoil, I smile down at Hallie, and she relaxes into the sheets.
“Just you and me, Hal. You still want this? Because if you don’t, babe, we stop right now, we order room service, and just chill.”
Her laugh comes out choked, but with it, the fear I’d been holding on to is released.
“I want this, Marcus. I want you. And then maybe room service.”
“Even if it breaks all the rules?” I know I’m double-checking, triple-checking, even, but it doesn’t seem too much considering our past.
“Fuck the rules.” They’re her words, but they sound like something I’d say.
I palm myself, stroking up and down in a firm grip, knowing there’s a good chance I might not last as long as I’d want to.
In a split-second decision, I decide to say, “You know, I haven’t done this before either.”
“You haven’t?” Hal asks, no judgment in her tone or questioning as to why I’ve just decided to share this now.
“No. I’ve done a lot, but not this. This is a first for me too.”
I don’t know why I share this with her, why I want her to know this about me. About us.
But I do.
Instead of saying anything else, she simply reaches up, wraps a hand around the nape of my neck, and pulls me down until her lips touch mine in the most featherlight of kisses.
My body over hers, she wraps a leg around my hips, and I press myself to her, feeling the heavenly heat of her against the tip of my cock.
I’m unable to look away as I move forward, muscles tense and hands firmly pressed into the mattress. The connection between us is a tangible thing, and I wonder, albeit briefly, if the sensation of being filled in this way is as intense for her as the sensation of filling her is for me—absolutely all-consuming.
It takes no time at all for our tempo to build, neither one of us is hesitant in reaching for the pleasure we crave. Hallie’s back arches, sweat slicking her skin, and I lift her hips, aiming to be deeper, to give more. Where there are normally cocky smiles and smart-ass comments between us, there’s now a reverent silence, our actions and touches speaking for us. We’re chest to chest, heart to heart, and I never want to be anywhere else, with anyone else. Ever again.
The change in angle has Hallie gasping, fingers gripping my biceps, her hips thrusting up and into mine as we pick up speed. Her mouth opens, my name leaving her lips as she comes apart.
My vision fuzzes along the edges with pleasure so acute it’s borderline discomfort.
Caught in a whirlwind of feeling, I slip my hands beneath Hallie’s back, taking hold of her shoulders and bringing her body even closer to mine. With hardly a breath of space between us, I thrust and buck a few final times before I release on a shout of my own.
I come down from my orgasmic high to the feel of Hallie’s hands stroking the lines of my back, and I mimic the action along her sides. Slowly, eyes open, I run my gaze over her face, taking in her expression and the warmth of her body beneath mine. A small smile pulls at the corner of her lips, and although I know this night has been a lot, she’s okay.
We’re okay.
Her lips are swollen, cheeks are flushed, and I know I’ll never forget this moment. That I’d do anything to have a lifetime of moments just like it.
Disentangling myself from her limbs and throwing my legs from the bed, I head to the bathroom. I don’t bother turning on the light and simply clean myself up before taking a hand towel, dousing it with warm water, and wringing it out.
I’m grateful to see Hallie’s exactly where I left her, crisp white sheets pulled up to her chin.
When she catches sight of the cloth in my hand, confusion filters over her face, but it clears quickly.
She reaches a hand out. “Thanks.”
“No, Hal, let me.” The words leave my mouth gruffer than I intended, and I give her a small smile to relieve any sting I might’ve caused.
She hesitates a moment before pulling the sheet away from her stunning body. I get her apprehension; this moment feels more intimate than the one we just shared. Gently, I bring my hands back to her thighs, moving the warm material up her soft skin and between her legs.
“Feel okay?” I ask, wanting to check in, needing to check in.
“Yeah.” The word is soft and full of air.
I think there might be a sheen to her eyes, a glistening, but I can’t tell for certain in the low light of the room. Once I’m sure she’s comfortable, I quickly return the towel to the bathroom before making my way back to the bed.
I slip beneath the sheets, plumping the pillow behind my head.
“Come here,” I say, gesturing to the space beside me.
I close my eyes, giving her the privacy to make up her own mind. The bed shifts, and my heart gives a sigh of relief as her hot body presses up against the length of mine.
My mind is a whirl of thought. I no longer want Hallie to think, under any circumstances, that I want her to leave, not when the opposite is true. I know I need to tell her what I want, how I feel, and how it’s changed. The time to do it, however, is not right now. If my brain’s going a hundred miles an hour on its way to creating chaos, I can only imagine the state of hers. There’ll be a better time than this.
I trail my fingertips from her cheekbone to her breastbone, skimming gently over her satin-like skin. I pause at the space between her breasts where her tattoo lives, making a quick spiral shape before moving on.
Finally, when I think Hallie must have fallen asleep, she says, “That was amazing.”
Her voice is tender, and I’m glad to have kept the moment peaceful, without the jarring nature of spilled truths.
“You’re amazing” are the only words I can think of to reply.
Hallie moves my hand so that it cups her breast, the warm weight filling my palm. It’s not sexual, and it’s oddly soothing to be able to hold her like this, to have her want me to hold her like this. It’s intimate, and I like it.
I’m surprised when Hallie lets out a little laugh. “But you didn’t push your fingers inside of me afterward to?—”
I cut her off with a tweak of her nipple at the reminder of what I’d said to her on the plane, how I was looking forward to feeling myself inside of her.
“You’re filthy,” I growl softly in her ear, not failing to forget I kind of love the fact.
“But…” she starts in a whisper.
“Next time,” I say, cutting her off, because there will be a next time. I’ll make sure of it.
I leave our hotel room as quietly as possible as Hallie sleeps. I hate leaving her, curled on her side and tangled between a mess of sheets; it’s where I’d rather be. We’d never had the chance to wake up together, but now it’s something I want. Something I’m looking forward to.
For the last few weeks, I might’ve reminded myself that this time between us had an end date, that she wasn’t mine. But it hasn’t mattered. The truth is, I’m infatuated with her. Always have been, always will be.
The casinos are pumping as I make my way to my hotel and the suite I’m sharing with Jules. The door clicks open quietly, the ever-present glow of the Strip casting shadows along the walls and floor. The living space is a mess of empty beer bottles and half packs of chips, which I consider tidying as I get myself a glass of water. But a glance at my brother’s bedroom, where he’s likely asleep, has me leaving it to become tomorrow’s problem.
That’s until his door creaks open, and Jules emerges, still in the same clothes he’d been out in. Not asleep, then. Lucky me. I down my glass of water before filling it again, wishing I would’ve thought to put a full glass on the bedside next to Hallie.
“What are you doing?” he asks, leaning against the frame of his room.
“Well, I’d planned on getting at least a few hours’ sleep before we go driving expensive cars tomorrow,” I reply, nonchalant, undoing the buttons of my shirt as I head toward my bedroom.
“Let me be more specific, then. What are you doing with Hallie?”
The question has me pulling up short, my stomach dropping.
“Excuse me?” I bite out as I turn back toward him.
“You heard me.”
“Well, I’m hoping I heard wrong.” I look a little closer, noticing the body language that’s slightly off, arms crossed, shoulders tense.
“Marcus, I’ve seen you.”
A kernel of panic blooms in my chest. I’ve been careful. We’ve been so incredibly careful, specifically around Jules. While I might not care for the rules Hallie and I had imposed upon ourselves, I’m not looking for either of us to be uninvited from my brother’s wedding.
“What do you think you’ve seen?” I run an overly warm hand through my hair, knowing my chances of being able to talk myself out of this are slim.
Jules had asked me to do one simple thing, and I’ve not been able to follow through—and have lied to him in the process. It seems I’m forever going to make the same mistakes.
Julian rolls his eyes, clearly unimpressed with my evasiveness. “You mean, did I see you with your tongue down Hallie’s throat on the plane? Yes. Actually, I did.”
Well, shit.
He shakes his head, stepping away from his door. “I thought I told you not to do this, not to scare her away.”
“Hallie’s a grown woman. She doesn’t need you or anyone else to pick which battles she wants to fight in her life, relationships, or otherwise.”
Julian’s stance changes then, his shoulders relaxing just a little. “Relationships? So this isn’t just a one-off, then?”
I decide then it’s time to drop the shit, at least with Jules. “Can this be off the record? I’m not about to run my mouth and then have you tell me I can’t attend your wedding.”
His smile is sly. “You’re asking for sibling privileges?”
“Always.”
Jules rolls his eyes, but his overly dramatic sigh lets me know I’ve got my brother listening. “Fine. But can I eat while you talk?”
“Go for it,” I answer, gesturing to one of the bags of chips. But Jules ducks into his room, and I follow him in, only to find the asshole has ordered himself a small feast. On a table in line with his bed is a burger, with separate baskets of fries, onion rings, and tater tots.
The smell is grease-laden and divine.
“Sure you got enough?” I ask, dragging the chair from the room’s desk and sitting my ass on it.
“I’m sure it’s not my eating habits that are the topic of conversation here,” he says, picking up his burger and nodding at me to carry on . Well, all right, then.
“Hallie and I slept together,” I start bluntly, even as his face morphs into a no shit expression. “Fine. Have been sleeping together, and it’s not to fuck with her. It started out as a kiss, and then…” I pause, my eyes narrowing. “Hold on. Why am I hearing about you seeing us kiss just now? Why didn’t you mention it earlier?”
“I’d hoped it might’ve been a one-off, the two of you on the plane, but when you disappeared this evening, I figured this was more than a kiss.”
And he isn’t wrong; it’s more than just a kiss. It’s beginning to be the most complicated kiss.
I scrub a hand down my face, suddenly exhausted with it all. “I don’t want her to leave again.”
Something like surprise flitters across his face, softening his features. “You’re on the same page, then? You’ve been completely honest with her?”
I’m unable to stop the grimace from appearing on my face. “Not exactly.”
Whatever ease Julian had been feeling disappears as quickly as it’d arrived. “I don’t believe Hallie would’ve been okay with any part of her body touching yours if she didn’t trust you.”
I think back to our first kiss, how it’d consumed us in an instant, our bodies melding together, the disdain for one another forgotten. Or maybe our dislike made it hotter.
“Jules, trust didn’t have anything to do with it at the start.”
“Maybe. But what about now?”
Now, I’m still unworthy of the second chance I want.
“I’m not sure.” But my words are a lie.
There’s nothing I can say that doesn’t leave me screwed. I might want Hallie, but I’d gone into this agreement believing she wouldn’t want me again, not in any of the ways that mattered. I would’ve put money on it. And considering my current situation, I’m set to lose any way I look at it. As soon as I tell Hallie I’m in touch with her dad, regardless of my intentions, we’ll be done. Guilt churns even though she’s shut me down each time I’ve tried to bring up her dad.
“Will you tell Hallie you went after her once before?”
Julian’s question is one I don’t see coming, snapping me out of my thoughts. And I don’t move, don’t even breathe as I try to figure out just how he has that knowledge. I didn’t tell anyone my plans. Only…
“Oh, you think I didn’t know?” he asks, and I can’t work out how he feels about it as he dips an onion ring into ketchup.
“Erica?” I confirm, already knowing the answer.
I hadn’t asked her to keep it a secret from Jules when I’d called her for Hallie’s address, but I’d assumed she had when he never mentioned it.
“She told me you asked for her address, and you were going to Europe, after all—didn’t take a genius to put two and two together. But then you came home more surly and dedicated to work than ever, and Hallie, well, nothing about her was different. It seemed like you’d decided that you weren’t the best fit after all.”
That trip to Scotland wasn’t something I’d thought about for a long time. On a stoop a few yards down from Hallie’s address, I’d waited for her to return home. Finally, I’d caught sight of her coming down the street, but she hadn’t been alone, and I’d been glad to have been sitting a few doors down. The guy she was with was tall—the build of a rugby player—with dark auburn hair. A long-haired border collie had been running through their legs with each step, and whatever he’d been saying had Hallie in peals of laughter, her blond hair blowing around her face. The joy in the sound filled up the otherwise quiet street, and I’d known I couldn’t be the one to cause the sound to stop. All in all, I’d spent less than a day in Edinburgh, getting the last flight of the night back to London. Talking about my glimpse of her life upon my return hadn’t been an option, and so I’d told Erica I’d decided against the visit altogether. Obviously, Jules knew me well enough to know that wouldn’t have been the case. That I wouldn’t have been able to help myself.
“I saw her from a distance, and she looked happy. I didn’t think intruding on that was the right move.”
The look my little brother gives me is humbling, like he understands something that’s still just out of my reach.
“You should tell her. She might be my best friend, but you’re my brother. I want you both to be happy. Tell Hallie the truth, and let her decide what’s next with all the facts.”