Chapter 14
Rori
END OF MAY
It’s six in the afternoon Paris time when I board the plane with Julie and the rest of my team, the French Open over. Well, it’s over for me.
My play at the Madrid warmup event was strong, and I made it to the semis.
That result meant a huge load of points to boost my ranking since I had no points in the clay court season last year.
The Rome tournament didn’t go as well, and I lost in a tiebreak during my second match.
Still a great experience heading into Paris.
But the two weeks of the French Open has ultimately meant only one week of playing for me, as earlier today I got knocked out in the round of 16.
Making it to the top 16 for the tournament is hardly a disaster on my worst surface though.
“I think you’ll climb up to eight in the rankings, depending on who wins next round,” Julie observes as she crunches the numbers.
Either way, I feel satisfied. I’ve shown that I deserve to be in the top 10, given clay’s my weakest surface. And I made it to the semis in Madrid by beating the #2 player in the quarterfinals.
The time away has included plenty of messages from Landon. Two months of “friend-zone” messages since the Miami tournament.
Some have expressed encouragement and excitement for my matches. “You dominated her.” “Two sets to zero.” “Awesome job making it to the semis .”
He’s still adjusting to tennis scoring. I’d explained that we use “love” instead of “zero,” to which he replied, “no comment.”
Some were funny memes or tiktoks, including an older one about Alex being pantsed at a pro football practice as a rookie. “Please tell me you have seen this? ” he asked.
Some were snapshots of his daily life—pictures of a meal, complaining about aches and pains after a tough workout, photos of his dog Grover on the beach.
And others involved more serious conversations.
He told me a lot more about his parents’ breakup and how the affairs had created a toxic situation for the whole family.
He shared how bad he felt that Connor was still dealing with that, without any of the other siblings around.
And how he worried about Rawley’s recklessness catching up with him before the draft.
None of the messages were overtly flirty or suggestive. Everything was as I asked—chill and lacking any pressure for more.
I appreciated that, I did. When I’m in the thick of a tournament, I’m so laser focused that I don’t get super needy in any way—emotionally or physically. My occasional times with Peter in the past were more for a convenient stress release instead of satisfying any intense longing.
But I won’t lie to myself. While I was in Europe, getting a message from Landon put me in a better mood, no matter what was going on that day. And his messages never messed with my head on the court.
I can’t deny that I feel my perspective shifting about him. The way he took care of me the night of our dinner already tore down some of the walls that I had up, the donation even more so. And then there has been his consistent support during my tournaments.
Even though our nights together have been spectacular, it's who he is as a person that’s dissolving my reserve about our obvious connection and chemistry, not his sexual prowess.
Though that isn’t too shabby either.
I’ve spent so long assuming guys are a distraction. But maybe that’s simplistic.
On the plane ride home, with plenty of time to think for the first time in weeks, I start to feel a tug of curiosity. Is Landon sleeping with other women? Did he go out on dates when I was in Europe? Is he not interested in anything more or just respecting my wishes?
I couldn’t have predicted the swell of jealousy that flows through me when I think of Landon with other women.
Whoa. That’s new.
I’ve never felt that way towards a guy before. Hmmm.
Nothing has changed right? I mean, we’ve become friends, which is great. We’ve slept together twice, sure, but it’s been over three months since the last time. Why do I feel this way?
I grab Maggie to chat, needing some girl advice. Having lost their doubles match the day before me, we invited her and Peter to share the plane home with us after Dad organized it.
“Hey, I need some friend time. I’m going to tell you something, but you can’t tell anyone,” I say after she sits down next to me.
“Okayyyy. What the heck, spill,” she responds.
I look around to check that no one else is close enough to hear if I whisper.
“So I hooked up with someone new. Actually twice, over a few months. We met at that New Year’s party I went to.”
“Ahem, you have been holding out on me!” Maggie says, in what is definitely not a whisper. “Who is it?”
I pause, considering whether I’m ready to share. I decide that I better, to get the best advice. “It’s Landon Battle,” I say quietly.
Maggie looks like she is going to jump out of her seat with the news. “What the actual eff, Rori,” she says, even louder than her previous comment.
“Shhhhhh,” I tell her, eyes wide. “This is not for consumption of everyone on this plane.”
“Okay, sorry, sorry. Go on,” she says, making a grand gesture with her arms.
“So anyway, I told him that I didn’t want anything more, even something casual,” I explain.
“And I’m nervous to think about it with the momentum I’ve got on the court right now.
He seemed to accept that and has been texting me things during this trip, but nothing that felt inappropriate for just being friends. ”
“I’ve got a feeling I know where this is headed,” Maggie says, taking a sip of her drink.
“So I started thinking just now, what if he is going out with other women, sleeping with them, etc. And I felt jealous. Jealous, Mags! Me! You know me, I never care what a guy does.”
Maggie makes a fake crying face and puts her hand on her heart. “My little Rori is growing up. I feel so proud.”
“Oh stop it,” I say, laughing. “Seriously, what should I do? Do you think it’s about wanting something I can’t have?”
“Not really. You never felt that way about Peter when he had a girlfriend, right?”
I shake my head. “Nope. I didn’t feel anything at all.”
“Well, there you go,” Maggie replies. “Although that doesn’t surprise me. Those poor boys didn’t stand a chance when we were growing up.”
“Oh please,” I say, laughing. “I was just very single-minded, wanting to win tennis matches.”
“Single-minded and hot, breaking all the boys’ hearts at the academy when you wouldn’t give them the time of day,” Maggie jokes. “Okay, back to Landon. So you’ve been talking to him regularly? On text?”
“Yes, we text a lot. I’ve been surprised, he’s so easy to talk to, and we have a ton in common. He really gets the intensity of our world, you know? And he sends me funny stuff too.”
“Rori,” Maggie says, looking like she is about to stage an intervention. “So, you’re friends with Landon Battle. Like real friends.”
I can’t disagree with that. “Yeah.”
“Uh, huh,” she says. “And it was good when y’all hooked up? Like he knew what he was doing?”
“Maggie, I had multiples both nights,” I whisper. “Best ever for me.”
“Enough said,” she says, grinning at my words.
“My aunt gave me a bit of a lecture when she visited in March,” I say. “Can I ask you another question?”
“Of course.”
“Do you think I should be more open to something? I mean, with anyone, not necessarily Landon.”
Maggie hums. “But we’re talking about Landon really, right?”
Trust your bestie to see right through you.
“Okay, yes. I mean, I don’t think he is a commitment guy, but I haven’t even been open to keeping the door open to hooking up again. I’ve been trying to keep locked in on my tennis.”
“Sure, I get it.” Maggie nods. “It’s relentlessly needy, tennis. Stage five clinger.”
I laugh at that. “So true. But anyway, I’ve been sitting here thinking how much talking with Landon has made me feel better, more relaxed, during the last few weeks—not distracted. It isn’t hurting my tennis at all. I don’t know why I thought it would.”
“Yeah, me neither,” Maggie says. She watches me digest our conversation for a moment and then asks, “So are you going to see Landon again sometime soon?”
I shake my head. “No, that was part of the things we weren’t going to do. Make plans. Last time was supposed to be another one night only situation.”
“And what do you want, sitting here today?” she asks in a leading tone.
“I want to make plans? To try to see him while we’re in Florida?”
“Well, there you go,” she repeats.
Okay. Now this is very new.
We’re both silent for a moment, and then Maggie cannot resist embarrassing me.
“Rori likes a boyyyyy, RO-REE likes a boyyyyy,” she sings.
Seven hours later, I walk into my house, leaving my bags in the entryway to deal with later. Since it’s still late afternoon here, the Florida sunshine is bursting through the windows in every direction. A welcome return from Europe.
Having run out of steam from the trip, I crash down on my living room sofa, which is next level comfortable despite the small size of the space. Reflecting on the chat with Maggie, I play with my phone. Landon’s last message was from right after my loss yesterday.
NEW YEARS: You gave it your best. Be proud.
I fiddle my fingers around on the keys, considering my options. I want to make plans.
That is not what I text him.
RORI: Hi.
About ten seconds go by and then I get a reply.
NEW YEARS: Hi, you heading back to the states?
RORI: I’m already here. Just got to my house. The one in Tampa.
He puts a heart emoji on that statement but doesn’t say anything back.
I want to make plans. I message him again.
RORI: What’re you up to?
NEW YEARS: Just got home from working with my trainer. Hitting the shower and may meet up with a friend.
Oh. A “friend.” Okay.
NEW YEARS: My friend Johnson. The one who was supposed to do the Triumph ad with you? He just got back from being with his family for a few months.
My anxiety tapers down to a more normal level. He isn’t going on a date. But that emotional swing reinforces that I need to move forward with asking for what I want.
They always call me fearless, right? Time to prove it in a new way.
RORI: Can I see you?