Chapter 24
TIVON
Three weeks.
That’s how long this Cryptic asshole has given us the slip.
Nolan and Holden had his first location less than twenty-four hours after they got the laptops.
We were on our way three minutes after we got the call.
We drove fifteen minutes to the location, and he was already gone.
He’s dodged us ever since. Nolan figured out that he probably had software that was alerting him, so I put in a call for the blocking software, and now we’re just waiting.
We’ve moved safe houses six times while we’ve been waiting, never staying somewhere too long.
The only good thing that has come of the wait is that it’s given Aryeh and Keon time to heal.
Aryeh isn’t a hundred percent, but he’s well enough to take back over the team.
I thought for sure that he would shut me out when he did, but if anything, he brought me in closer.
Which is proving to be nothing but confusing to me.
It shouldn’t be, since I’ve gotten to know this team.
Once they trust you, that’s it. You’re in for life.
I’ve spent a lot of one on one time with everyone, and it’s wreaking havoc on my mind.
I’ve gotten to see that Tyler is so much more than the clown he pretends to be.
He’s fucking smart, aware of everything and everyone around him, and he loves hard.
Keon is more than Aryeh’s second in command; he can switch between the man who melts around Kira and the man who can slit someone’s throat effortlessly.
He’d die for this team. Gavin isn’t as quiet and broody as I initially thought.
His true personality always comes out around Tyler, Kira, and Jason.
He jokes, laughs, loves without thought, and is the strength they all need.
Jason isn’t the weak man he believes himself to be.
He’s probably the strongest of us all, since he’s new to this life and has to watch us walk out that door, not knowing if we’ll come back.
He makes sure we’re fed and happy, and makes sure he tells us every time we leave to be careful.
Aryeh. Fucking Aryeh. He’s the mindfuck.
One second he’s barking orders and the next, I see this need in him.
A need to let go. A need I can help him with.
My little crush on the man has turned into a full blown obsession at this point.
I find myself watching him, no matter what he’s doing, especially now that he’s up and moving around, ready to go back in the field with us since Doc gave him the all clear yesterday.
I need this team more than I need air now, but I’m not sure what the plan is after we take down Aharon and Abraham. Will they want me to stay? Or ship me back to Israel? They have each other. They don’t need me, if I’m being honest with myself.
“Hey, T.” I look up at the sound of Jason’s voice, and find myself smiling. “What are you doing out here, all alone?”
I look over at the small backyard and lean back in my chair. “Just thinking.” I gesture to the seat beside me on the little patio couch. “Have a seat.”
Jason gets comfortable and turns to face me. “Is everything okay? You’ve been kind of off today.”
“I’m fine.”
“And you’re lying. Are you worried about Ari going back out with you guys?”
I shrug. “In a way. I know he’s capable, but this will be a big step.”
Jason lays his hand on my arm, and I meet his eyes.
“Ari can take care of himself. Am I worried? Of course. I worry every time you guys leave, but I know this is the job. But I’m not talking about Ari.
I’m talking about you, Tivon.” Jason surprises me by running his hand down my arm and lacing our fingers together.
He squeezes my hand in encouragement with a small smile.
I look out at the treeline and try to gather my thoughts.
How much can I tell Jason? We weren’t raised to share our feelings, we were raised to be killers.
Anything else made you weak. But did I really want to live like that?
Aryeh obviously got rid of the mindset, since I’ve heard how openly he tells people he loves them.
I run my fingers through my hair and with a sigh, I start talking.
“I guess I’m just worried about what happens after this is done. You guys are already established, the Saviors already have full teams, and I’m not sure where my place is.”
“With us,” Jason says without hesitation. “You’ve become an integral part of this team.”
I give Jason a sad smile. “You guys will be fine without me. My original team is already back in place in Israel.”
“You’re talking like you’ve already decided to go back.”
My mind made up that I won’t make this hard on them, I nod. “I am. Once I know you guys are safe, I’ll leave. I just make things harder for you guys.”
“Tivon, do you realize what you’ve done for this team?”
“I’m not talking about just the team, Nehedar. I’m talking about your relationship. I want more than I can have.” Jason’s mouth forms a cute little ‘O’. “Spending so much time with you guys has opened my eyes to what I really want.”
“And what’s that?”
“You. Everyone. This relationship.”
“Why can’t you have that? We’ve made it clear how we feel about you being with us. You’re the one fighting against it.”
“You don’t want someone like me. I’m broken, and you deserve better than what I bring to the table.”
“Bullshit,” Jason spits harshly, making me raise a brow at his tone. “We’re all fucking broken in our own ways, but we fix each of those broken pieces in each other. We aren’t whole if we aren’t together, and you are the missing piece for us all. You just need to open your eyes to see that.”
Before I can answer, Jason leans forward, and his lips are on mine.
I’m stunned for a split second before I turn in the seat and frame his face with my hands, taking over the kiss.
When I lick across his bottom lip, he sighs and opens for me while his hands clutch my shirt.
I deepen the kiss, and it feels like my entire world is on fire.
I move one hand to his hip and pull until he’s straddling my lap.
Jason lets his entire weight down on my hard cock and moans into my mouth.
I slide my hands under his shirt to feel him skin on skin, and he grinds against me.
It reminds me of the other day when I walked into the living room to find him and Aryeh in the same position, and it’s like a bucket of ice cold water has been dumped over my head.
That was one of the hottest things I’ve seen since being around them, and I refuse to be the one who comes between them.
I slow the kiss down and lay my forehead against Jason’s.
“We can’t do this.”
“Tivon…”
I peck his lips one last time before gently easing him back into his seat. “I’m sorry.”
I get up from the couch to head back inside, trying to ignore the hurt look on his face, but I can feel my heart being ripped apart.
I feel like I kicked a fucking puppy.
I managed to hide for the rest of the morning until I got the call that my software had arrived at the set drop off. I couldn’t have it brought straight to me, so Nolan found an empty warehouse to have it delivered to. I’m putting on my boots to leave when Aryeh walks into the living room.
“Where are you going?”
I tighten the laces harder than necessary, avoiding his eyes. “Software has been delivered. I’m going to go pick it up and meet Axel.”
“Alone? I think the fuck not. Let me get my boots.”
Aryeh’s gone before I can argue, and I have the insane urge to run like a fucking coward.
Out of all the people who could have walked in, why Aryeh?
That kiss with Jason is burned into my brain, along with the shame and the look on his face.
I don’t regret the kiss. Not even close. I want more, but that’s the problem.
“Let’s go,” Aryeh says, walking back into the room. I can’t make my mind believe that this is the same man I saw lying in bed with a tube down his throat. This is the Aryeh that I remember.
With a nod, I follow him outside, and he surprises me by tossing me the keys and sliding into the passenger side of the SUV Keon acquired for us. We’ve been swapping vehicles more often than we have been swapping safe houses.
I get in, fire the car up, and start driving down the long driveway. I pull onto the main road, my entire body wired to fight. Did Jason tell Aryeh about the kiss? I’m just waiting for the blow to come that Aryeh doesn’t want me here anymore, or for the bullet to pierce my skull.
“I know about the kiss.” Well, that answers that question. I brace myself for Aryeh’s anger, but it never comes. I quickly glance at him, but he doesn’t look mad, just worried. “You just left him fucking sitting there?” What? That’s what he’s worried about? “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“What did you want me to do?”
“Not make him feel like shit would be the first thing. He’s worried that he did something wrong.”
“What?”
“He thinks he made you uncomfortable. That you didn’t want it.”
“That’s all I’ve been fucking wanting,” I bark, then clamp my lips shut before I can say more.
“Okay. Then what happened? According to Jason you were into it, until you weren’t. Then you walked away, leaving him sitting there thinking he fucked up. I should shoot you for that alone.”
“Because I won’t be the one who comes between any of you.”
To my shock, Aryeh starts laughing. “For being so damn smart, you’re really fucking stupid.
Look, I know we didn’t have the best upbringing to read social cues, but goddamn, you’re clueless.
How many more ways can you be told we want you in with us?
Not just the Saviors, but with us. I’ve spent the last three weeks watching you.
I see the longing there, Tivon. Why fight against it? ”
“Why? You guys already have this amazing thing, and I refuse to fuck it up. I’m not an easy man. I have certain…needs… in different situations.”
“Certain needs? What the fuck does that even mean?”
I whip into the warehouse parking lot, drive to the back, and slam the car into park.
I turn to face Aryeh. “For one, I’m dying to put you on your knees for me and make you just feel, not think.
I want to ease that stress that I see in your shoulders, and carry it myself.
I want to take control over you. But you aren’t that person, Aryeh. ”
I turn and reach for the door handle, but Aryeh’s hand lands on my arm to stop me. I look at his hand, then at his face. “Who says I’m not?”
I raise a brow. “You can honestly say that you’ll give me total control of your pleasure? I already know I can have Tyler barking for my cock if I wanted, but what about you?”
Aryeh laughs, and it breaks some of the tension in the car. “Okay. I just got a visual of Tyler doing just that, and you aren’t wrong, but it also means you’ve been spending too much time with him if that’s how you describe it. But that’s beside the point. How do you know if you don’t even try?”
“I’m fucking confused, okay? I still see you as the guy that trained me, but I also see how bad you need someone to take care of you. Not just making sure you were taking your meds or changing your bandages, I see a man who’s dying to let someone take care of his mind.”
Aryeh’s hand slides off my arm, and I already miss his touch. “This conversation is too deep to be having out in the open. Let’s get this software and go back to the house. We’ll grab some beers, go outside, and talk this shit out because Tivon, we want you here. No, we need you here.”
Aryeh’s out of the car, leaving me in stunned silence.
My brain comes back online when he walks to my door.
I grab my AK from the back floorboard and shove out of the car.
We survey our surroundings and go inside to find the package exactly where it’s supposed to be.
Within minutes, we’re back in the car and going to Axel’s, then on our way home.
What does it say about my mental state that I’d rather be in a shootout than going to have this conversation?