Chapter Fourteen
“Okay, I admit it. You can throw down in the kitchen. You weren’t exaggerating your talents in that area.” Her belly stuffed and satisfied, Bethany sat back and marveled at Ethan. A wonderful meal she didn’t have to make herself—that was always a win. And decent company who had excellent taste in wine.
At the moment she was tucking into some delectable macarons in his living room while Ethan was dealing with the dishes. Store-bought thank goodness. Ethan whipping up expert-level patisseries would have left her no choice but to accuse him of witchcraft.
“Ready whenever you are,” she called out. Bethany had to admit she was looking forward to this prep session. There was nothing like putting herself against the best of the best—iron sharpening iron.
Ethan walked into the room, his head down, absorbed with his phone. His brow was furrowed, his lips thinned.
“Everything okay? Something I can help with?”
He frowned. “Thank you, but no. This isn’t work-related so you wouldn’t be able to help anyway.”
Now determined to help if it was the last thing she did, Bethany pushed. “Tell me anyway. How do you know I can’t help until you tell me what it is you need? Besides, you shouldn’t discount me. I give excellent advice. Ask anyone.”
“I suppose it couldn’t hurt to ask for an outside perspective.” Ethan pushed his phone over to Bethany. “I’m trying to deal with this message I received from my mother.”
Bethany grabbed the phone, eager for the scoop. Curiosity had always been one of her best qualities and she couldn’t wait to find out what was vexing the usually composed Dr. Wu. But she was forced to hand back the phone seconds later with a sheepish look. “Sorry, my Mandarin reading comprehension isn’t quite up to par for this.”
“Long story short, she’s asking me what neighborhoods I want to live in when I move back. She wants to start apartment hunting for me. She’s strongly suggesting apartments near her. Mother even made a point of mentioning there’s a unit available in her building, two floors down. She thinks it could be fun. And convenient for her to come babysit when I finally get married and give her grandchildren. It ends with her saying she doesn’t want to put pressure on me but who knows how much longer she’ll be around or in good enough health to babysit.”
Bethany let out a soft laugh. She had to admit, the level of parental guilt and passive-aggressiveness in that message was truly impressive, even for an Asian parent. His mother must be a master in the artform. But she took a minute to consider her response. Amusement and curiosity aside, she was going to take this seriously. Ethan had volunteered a problem, and that deserved a real answer. She had one thing to clear up first though.
“Why is she apartment hunting for you in Taipei when you’re planning to stay here in New York? I mean, I know the stereotype of mothers who have a hard time letting go of their sons and cutting the umbilical cord, but this is taking it a bit far, don’t you think. What? Does she expect you to fly back and forth? How does she think this is going to work?”
At that, Ethan had the grace to look a bit sheepish himself. “I haven’t exactly told her about my plans.”
“Why haven’t you?”
“It’s complicated.”
“What’s complicated about it? ‘Mom, I’ve decided to stay in New York and pursue my career here, and not move back to Taiwan like we originally planned.’”
“You make it sound so easy.”
“Because it is.” Obviously.
“Standing up to my mother is no mean feat.”
“Then no time like the present.”
“Perhaps.”
Wait a minute.“Don’t tell me you’re afraid of your mother.”
“You saw that message. Can you blame me?”
He had a point there. Then a flash of inspiration hit. “I think I know how to fix this?”
“How?”
She decided she wasn’t going to be offended by his skeptical tone. “Practice. We can role-play.” At the look on his face, she rolled her eyes. “Get your mind out of the gutter. I meant we can rehearse what to say when you break the news to her. That way you’ll be prepared. It’s the perfect solution.”
After a minute’s consideration, Ethan gave a small nod. “You make a compelling case. This might actually be a good idea.”
“Of course it’s a good idea—I came up with it.”
“I may live to regret this, but fine.” He took her hand, and they shook. “You weren’t going to relent until I spilled the beans.”
“That is The Bethany Way after all,” she said with a wink. “Let’s get started. Have you thought about what you wanted to say?”
Ethan produced some note cards from his desk. “I did jot down some notes, but it probably needs to be streamlined and organized so it sounds coherent.”
“Can I see them?” Bethany held out her hands and promptly ripped them up when he gave her the cards.
“What do you think you’re doing? I worked hard on those!” he protested.
“You can’t use these,” she insisted. “If your mother sees you reading off cards, you give up any strategic advantage. You need to project confidence and conviction. No cards.”
“Now what am I supposed to do?”
“Tell me in your own words why you want to live here.
“I’m building a life here and—”
“You already have a life in Taiwan. Why do you have to waste time building a life halfway around the world in New York?”
He furrowed his brow in confusion. “Is this an interrogation?”
“No, this is prep, remember? I’m pretending to be your mother.”
“That may be the most disturbing sentence I’ve ever heard,” Ethan murmured.
“Sorry, I’m not doing this right, am I?” Bethany sat ramrod straight and put her hands primly in her lap. “Do continue. And take your time, it is always good to hear from you. It’s such a shame you are so busy you don’t seem to have time to talk to your poor mother but that’s fine. I understand.” She made sure to make her voice as prissy as possible.
Now it was his turn to throw her a look. “That’s what you think my mother sounds like? And talks like?”
Bethany raised a brow. “I made some inferences. Are you telling me I’m wrong?”
“Never mind.”
“That’s what I thought.”
After a soft cough he continued. “As I was saying, I know the plan was for me to move back to Taiwan after I finish here but things have changed. But if you’ll hear me out, I hope you’ll come to understand why I made this decision and won’t be too disappointed. I’ve been here for over four years and during that time I’ve discovered a few things—”
“Nope. Don’t do that.” Bethany shook her head emphatically.
“Do what?”
“Stop dancing around it. Get straight to the point.”
“Won’t that be too blunt?”
“In my experience, best to just rip off the Band-Aid and get it over with. Easier that way.” Bethany tilted her head. “Who is going to be paying for you to live here?”
“Me, obviously.”
“Who is going to do the paperwork and pay for it so that you can stay here?”
“Me.”
“Will you be relying on your mother at all?”
“No.”
“There you go. Assert your independence and move on. Haven’t you ever heard the expression it’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission? And in this case, you have nothing to apologize for and you don’t have to ask for permission. It’s not like you’re asking her to pay for you to stay here. You’re going to be standing on your own two feet. That strengthens your position. Own it.”
“But I’d be disappointing her.”
Bethany took a breath and tried to explain. “Her feelings are not your responsibility. Remember when we talked about the Marie Barone thing? Her identity may have been wrapped up in being your mother but that doesn’t mean she can’t forge a new path. Besides, going on and on just gives her an opportunity to find ammunition to use your arguments against you and weaken your resolve.”
“That sounds rather heartless. Everyone has the right to express their opinions.”
“Listen, buddy, I am a huge proponent of the Serenity Prayer.”
His brow wrinkled in confusion. “What’s that now?”
“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
“Something tells me you don’t believe there is anything you can’t change.”
Bethany paused for a moment. “Pretty much. But my point is, you have no control over how someone else is going to feel so why worry about it? Now, let’s practice.”
But then she saw the look on Ethan’s face and knew she had to take a step back. Clearly, she was missing something and this wasn’t just about how to tell Mom something she didn’t want to hear.
“What?” she demanded, probably a little more forcefully than she should have. She had to remind herself to cut him some slack and be patient. Not everyone was as decisive as she was, she reminded herself.
“Your arguments make sense, but I just keep picturing the look on my mother’s face when I tell her.”
“But that’s the point of this rehearsal,” Bethany pointed out. “To prepare you.”
“And just picturing her alone. It feels like I’ve abandoned her.”
“Does your mother not have friends? Her own hobbies? If you’re afraid she’s lonely I’m going to go back to what I said earlier. You have no control over what she does with her time. If she decides to shut down and be a hermit, that’s her choice. You are not responsible for her happiness or loneliness or lack thereof. Being alone is a choice.”
“Maybe you’re right.”
“I’m going to choose not to take offense to that. Of course I’m right.”
“My mother’s probably going to accuse me of becoming too American when I do this,” he said half-heartedly.
“So what? There’s nothing wrong with being American. And what the hell does that even mean? Standing up for yourself is American?”
“More just doing what you want instead of considering other people.”
“In that case guilty as charged. I’m American through and through. Anyway this is ridiculous. Being selfish is American, so does that mean being self-sacrificing makes you more Taiwanese? Makes you a better person?”
He just shrugged.
Now Bethany was getting worked up. “How far does this go anyway? What exactly does filial piety and that crap require? Your happiness doesn’t matter? It’s fine if you’re miserable as long as your parents are happy?”
“They are responsible for giving us life. We wouldn’t be here if not for them. We owe them for that,” Ethan pointed out matter-of-factly.
“I disagree.”
“What a surprise.”
“I’m serious. And I’m not just being obstinate and contrary. I think telling a child that sort of thing is emotionally manipulative and wrong.”
“But it’s true.”
“How? We didn’t ask to be born, did we? They were the ones who decided they wanted to become parents and take on the responsibilities and obligations of parenthood. Did you coerce your parents into having sex and conceiving you?”
“You are so wrong for saying that,” Ethan muttered, his face going beet red.
“Did you?”
“No. Good God, no.”
“Then you don’t owe them the rest of your life. They made the decision to have you and raise you, period. In return, show them gratitude, love, respect, appreciation, yes. But this obligation crap needs to go. Why make yourself miserable when you don’t have to? You got it?”
At the look on Ethan’s face, she raised a brow. “I just blew your mind, didn’t I?”
“I have to admit, yes. I never thought of it that way before.”
Bethany shrugged. “Always happy to help. Tough love is definitely part of The Bethany Way.”
“This is quite an attitude adjustment, but I like it.”
“Are you ready for more practice?” Bethany had to admit, his praise warmed her heart. It always felt good to have her skills appreciated.
“Can you give me a minute? Your impersonation of my mother is really disturbing. Not to mention you bringing up my parents having sex.”
“Get over it.”
“I don’t think I like tough love all that much after all.”
“Let’s practice a few more times, then we need to practice the fellowship questions. I’m still determined to leave you in the dust, don’t forget. Just want to give you a fighting chance.”
“Of course.”