Chapter Twenty-One
“This was a stupid idea. What the hell was I thinking?” With a frown, Bethany pointed an accusing finger at Jaya. “You’re supposed to be my best friend? Why did you let me do this?”
The two of them were at the Lee homestead in Sunset Park, having decorated the backyard. She’d kicked her parents out of their own house by sending them to Rye. She’d had to bribe Alex and Allie with two weekends’ worth of free babysitting to get them on board. And now she was regretting everything. She’d taken Jeffrey’s (her own previous) advice and was hoping it wasn’t too late. At first, she’d been convinced her plan was genius but now she was a bundle of nerves.
Rolling her eyes, Jaya surveyed their handiwork. “Calm down. You’ll be fine.” She gave Bethany a reassuring pat on the back. However, Bethany was past the point of no return and needed more than a pat.
Preferably a strong anesthetic to knock her out and put her out of her misery for a day or two. Dr. Woodward from anesthesiology owed her a favor. Was it too late to text Talia?
“I will not be fine! I’m making a complete idiot of myself. Is it too late to pull the plug? I should’ve known this idea was stupid and wouldn’t work. Why didn’t I suck it up and just do the Saran Wrap thing?” Bethany muttered, pacing.
“As much as I hate to admit it, Saran Wrap was the wrong way to go. This is much better. You got this. Speaking of which, he should be on his way shortly so I’m outta here. Good luck, babe.” Jaya gave her a hard hug and before Bethany could beg her best friend to stay, she left.
Which left her with nothing to do but pace and worry and fixate on every way this plan of hers could blow up in her face.
Why did love have to involve stupid feelings and being vulnerable and opening yourself up to the hideous possibility of devastating rejection?
She went back inside the house to splash some water on her face and brace herself for epic failure.
“Remember, failure isn’t the end of the world. You’ll survive. The point is you screwed up the courage to humiliate yourself like this and confess your stupid feelings. No matter what happens, you can hold your head up high.”
And if she repeated that to herself a few more million times, she may actually start to believe it.
Bethany went to the fridge where she’d stored her latest masterpiece, opened the door, and inspected the contents one more time.
“I must be nuts. If this doesn’t prove I’m in love, I don’t know what the hell does,” she muttered.
Promptly at two p.m. because of course he’d be as punctual and accurate as the atomic clock, she heard his polite knock on the door.
Suddenly, her mouth went dry, her fists clenched, and an entire horde of butterflies were released in her stomach.
Enough of this nonsense. Bethany took a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and went to meet her doom.
Opening the door, she couldn’t help but drink in the sight of him like a dehydrated runner after a marathon. He was in his usual uniform of navy polo shirt, gray sports coat, trousers, and oxfords.
“Thank you for coming,” she said.
“I was tempted not to,” he said somberly. “But in the end, it would’ve been rude to refuse your parents’ offer of tea. And because I wasn’t given much choice. Jaya told me Priyanka has been very upset that you and I aren’t friends anymore and would be very disappointed in me if I’d refused. Then passed the phone over to Priyanka who confirmed her mother’s words. I couldn’t very well have that on my conscience, could I?”
She swallowed hard. “Yeah. About that…”
Ethan arched a brow. “Let me guess. Your parents aren’t here?”
“No, just me, I’m afraid.” She reached out and put her hands on his arm to stop him from leaving. “Five minutes, that’s all I ask.”
It was the longest fifteen seconds of her life as he tilted his head, then nodded. “Very well.”
Bethany led him to the backyard. There were streamers and lanterns hung up and a bunch of lanterns on a massive picnic table. Along with leftover mooncakes and a bottle of premium Remy XO cognac.
“What’s all this?”
“I found some leftover lanterns and mooncakes like the ones we saw at the Mid-Autumn Festival. And the cognac is to celebrate your win. I want you to know I’m happy for you. Truly.” It had taken her a little time, but she’d finally gotten there.
“I see.”
But first things first.
“I had a long-overdue talk with my parents a few weeks ago and I realized some things.”
Her heart pounding, Bethany gave the most important speech of her life to date.
“I’m overly competitive. I’m too stubborn, though that’s really more a Lee thing than me personally but I digress. I don’t take losing well. I’m an overachiever. I barely have a social life because I work so much. I think I have to work twice as hard to be thought half as good. I have a chip on my shoulder the size of a boulder. I kinda resent how easily you won my family over and they definitely like you more than me. In other words I’m a real pain in the ass.”
With every statement, she wrote it down on a card with a Sharpie.
“I always thought I always had to be the best, to show my parents I was worth all the work and sacrifices they made for me, and to show everyone at the hospital I was as good as everyone else and had earned my place there. But mostly, I wanted to prove to myself I had what it takes.”
Bethany gave a rueful laugh. “You know the kicker? The thing that chafes my ass more than anything else? I was the only one who thought I had something to prove. My parents didn’t put those expectations on me—I did. And I’m certain everyone at the hospital is too exhausted and busy worrying about themselves to think about me. Or if they are jealous that’s their problem, not mine.”
Ethan still stood there, silent and impassive as stone.
In for a penny, in for a pound. Bethany went back into the kitchen, took out her creation, and walked back out with it.
“And in further evidence of how imperfect I am, I am a lousy baker. This is for you.” It was a lopsided chocolate fudge cake with sprinkles all over and sloppy, lumpy vanilla frosting. I’m Sorry was messily piped in purple and there was a unicorn stuck on top.
He looked at her, brows wrinkled in confusion.
Bethany flushed. “Priyanka made me promise to add the sprinkles and unicorn. And it was her idea to use purple, her favorite color. She says sprinkles and unicorns make everyone happy and would help us make up,” she mumbled.
“For future reference, my favorite cake is Black Forest gateau. And look at that piping. The least you can do is not fall into that tired cliché of doctors having horrendous handwriting. You’ll have to do better next time.”
She let out a breath she hadn’t known she’d been holding. Finally, she saw some cracks in that impenetrable armor. Maybe, just maybe she had a shot if he was softening.
“I’ll make a note. But I’m not finished.”
“Of course.”
“I’m also hardworking. I can relate to people and make friends easily. I’m dedicated to my work, and I’m damn good at what I do. I’m tenacious and don’t give up until I achieve what I set out to do. Loyal to my friends and family. I’m amazing at karaoke. I kick ass at pub quiz trivia. I know how to work situations to my advantage. I’m the world’s best auntie to my nieces and nephews. And…I’m amazing in bed.”
“No arguments on that.” Amusement gleamed in his eyes as he sat down on the picnic table bench and pulled her down so she was sitting on his lap.
She turned to him and framed his face with her hands. “I’m so sorry about how we left things in San Francisco. Please know that it really had nothing to do with you.” Hopefully she’d have a lifetime to make it up to him.
“It’s all right. No one is at their best while going through an existential crisis.”
“No need to brag about how you aced your psych rotation.” Bethany rolled her eyes. “But close enough. I just didn’t want you or anyone seeing me in such a low place. There I was, my world had fallen apart, and you were there to witness the worst of it. Being that vulnerable is about the scariest thing I can think of.”
“You’re doing great so far,” Ethan encouraged. “Next time you’ll remember that if your world falls apart, you have people who’ll help you put it back together. And I’ll be at the front of the line.”
“In that case, how can I lose?”
“Exactly. Apology accepted,” he said with a smile.
“Okay. So I have one more thing.”
Had she felt vulnerable in San Francisco? That was nothing compared to what she was about to do. She thought about the new roll of Saran Wrap in her parents’ kitchen drawer. Maybe it wasn’t too late.
No, she had come too far now and had no choice but to plow on.
“Like I said, I’ve spent so much of my life thinking I had to achieve every goal, win at all costs, check things off this imaginary list in order to show I was worthy. It’s been a hell of a revelation that I don’t need to constantly prove myself. That I’m enough just as I am. Flaws and all. So I’m going to tell you I’m in love with you and probably have been for a long time. Maybe even from the moment we met four years ago, even if I didn’t know it. You’ve helped make me a better doctor and a better person. And I’m hoping that I haven’t ruined everything and that you still feel the same way about me. That I finally found the person who I will never have to prove myself to, who already thinks I’m enough just as I am. Who won’t think less of me if I fail to measure up to some unrealistic invisible yardstick. You’ve seen me at my best and my worst so, so no more hiding. I’d love to give what’s between us a real chance. And…”
The rest of her words disappeared as he crushed her to him and kissed her breathless. When they broke apart, he looked at her tenderly.
“It’s about time you admitted it,” he said solemnly. “For the record, I fell in love with you first.”
“It’s not a competition,” Bethany insisted. At Ethan’s look, she huffed. “Fine, you win this round.”
“Is this what we call growth?”
“Shut up.” Deciding she needed to regain the upper hand, Bethany kissed him to end the argument.
When they broke apart, his eyes gleamed. “Well, that should have burned enough calories so we can dig into the cake.”
“Later. First we have to do this.” With his help, Bethany attached all the cards to the lanterns and let them float away like wishes.
Bethany watched all her hopes, dreams and disappointments disappear into the sky and never felt more at peace. How could she be anything else when Ethan’s arms were wrapped around her?
“Okay. Cake time,” she announced.
Five minutes later they were seated in the kitchen, and both had generous slices of cake in front of them and attacked them with gusto.
“Good God, how can this be burned and raw in the middle at the same time?” Only the table manners drilled into her by her mother prevented Bethany from spitting it back out. She grabbed Ethan’s plate away, who was gamely eating another slice.
“Oh don’t be such a martyr. I already know you love me—no point in you spending the next thirty-six hours hunched over the toilet because the raw batter gave you food poisoning.”
“Thanks for that lovely image. Didn’t you follow the recipe?”
“I did,” Bethany insisted. “The only thing I changed was the oven temp. I was supposed to preheat it to 350 but I bumped it up to 450 because I was afraid it wouldn’t be done by the time you arrived.
“I think we found the source of the problem,” he said dryly.
She threw the whole thing into the trash can and shot him an apologetic look. “Next time I’ll use a box mix and follow the instructions, I promise. Less risky that way.”
“Excellent idea.”
“I already said I wasn’t perfect,” she reminded him. “Looks like baking is on the list of things I’m not perfect at. And I’m okay with it.” In fact, she had a feeling someday this would be something she’d look back on and laugh her head off about.
“Don’t you think that’s a bit of an understatement?”
Bethany gave him a small whack. “Hey, admitting that was a huge step for me. Respect the process and my journey.”
Ethan just shook his head and smiled. That smile of his never failed to warm her all over.
She checked the fridge and, thank heavens, there was half a leftover raspberry cheesecake, so she served that instead.
“May I ask a question?”
Bethany made a go-ahead gesture.
“What would you have done if this ploy today hadn’t worked?”
Bethany scrunched her nose. “My nuclear option was to show up at your place in a trench coat, Saran Wrap, and nothing else. It was Jaya’s idea. Let’s be grateful it didn’t come to that.”
“Indeed,” he said in a choked voice. The look on his face told Bethany the trick would have a thousand percent worked.
Men.
After they were done with the cheesecake they made out on her parents’ couch like a couple of horny teenagers for a bit. But luckily, they both had enough presence of mind to not take it any further.
Promising herself they’d pick up where they left off later, Bethany reached for her phone.
“What are you doing?”
“Calling Jaya so we can FaceTime Pri. She’ll be so happy to know we’ve made up and aren’t mad at each other anymore.”
She’d been expecting him to easily acquiesce but instead Ethan’s eyes narrowed.
“By any chance, did you and Jaya coach her on what to say to guilt me into coming here today?”
“Maybe, maybe not.”
He could see right through her. If that wasn’t proof they were perfect for each other, she didn’t know what was.
Bethany gave her best winning smile and Ethan eventually relented, with an eye roll and rueful chuckle.
“Unbelievable.”
“It worked, didn’t it?”
“To my chagrin. Let’s call her.”
“Seriously, it’s not Priyanka’s fault. Jaya bribed her with some new Bluey merch. And ice cream.”
“Of course I don’t blame her. I only hold one person responsible. And I’ll be exacting vengeance in due course.”
“You’re all talk and no bite. I’m not afraid of you.”
“Are you sure about that?”
Bethany laughed. “Okay, I’m quaking in my boots. There. Does that make you feel better?”
“One more thing before we call the Mehras.”
“What?”
“About that Saran Wrap idea…”
Bethany raised a brow, trying to appear severe but ruined the effect because her lips were twitching.
“I didn’t buy any. Maybe for your birthday.”
“Shame.”