Chapter 30
Kayla
“So, you and Ransom lived by yourselves?”
“It was just the two of us at first. Not long ater, Lucien joined us.”
“Lucien?” I question.
“He came from our old pack. You’ll meet him at some point. He’s here.”
“Like in this hotel? Here?” He confirms with a nod. “So, it’s the three of you then.”
“Not exactly. After that, a few more members from our old pack and then a few other wolves found us and decided to join us. Then, we gained some more after the vampire compound.”
I blink. “What?” His face is closed off now, and he stays quiet. I figure that’s all I’m going to get from him. “That’s okay. You don’t have to tell me; I get it. Sometimes, our stories need to stay private; we need to be able to have secrets.”
His eyes meet mine, and I don’t look away. “I don’t have secrets from you. You’re my mate. I’ll tell you anything you want to know; it’s just a lot to take in all at once.”
“You know, put a pin in that mate thing. I want to come back to that.” A massive yawn comes out of nowhere and nearly swallows me whole.
Jackson stands up. “Sleep. We can talk more tomorrow.”
“Will you, though?”
“Will I what?” he asks.
“Actually talk again tomorrow. So far, you’ve been very much in the not-talking camp.”
“I’ll tell you anything you want to know, like I said. I’m just trying to not overwhelm you.”
“Too late,” I say with a laugh right before another yawn takes over.
I stand up and look at the bed and then back at him, trying not to show my panic.
“You know what? I think I’ll sleep with Noah.
There’s plenty of room. I’m just going to grab a pillow from this bed because there are so many.
You won’t even miss it. And I’ll just share a blanket with Noah.
” I take a step towards the sofa bed, but Jackson steps in front of me.
“Kayla.” I manage to look up as far as his shoulder; I can’t make myself look the rest of the way up. “You can have the bed; I’m not sleeping on it.”
“You’re not?” This time, I lift my eyes to his. “Are you sleeping in another room?”
“No. I'm sleeping in here, just not in the bed. You can have it to yourself.”
“Are you sure?” I try to sound nonchalant, but I know I fail miserably.
“Yeah.” His voice is more gentle now. I eye the door and then him. “If it makes you feel better, I can stay in the hallway,” he offers.
“Oh, no. No, it’s fine.” I take a breath. “I’m sorry; I know I’m making this awkward. I’ve just never—” I shake my head and start unbuttoning Jackson’s shirt. I’m suddenly really hot. “I don’t know how you wear these shirts even in the middle of summer. I would die.”
“I only wear them around town.”
“Why do you wear them at all?” I question.
“To cover my alpha marks.”
That catches my attention. “Alpha marks?”
“Alpha’s have alpha marks on their bodies. The stronger or more dominant the alpha, the more marks they have.”
I take in his words. “Do you have a lot?” He nods. “And you keep them covered because...” I’m trying to piece things together.
“I don’t like others knowing how many I have or don’t have.”
“So, by not showing them, they have to keep guessing.”
He nods. “Exactly.”
“That’s why the other guys keep eyeing you, isn’t it?”
He nods. “They’re a really powerful pack, the most powerful in the country. Their alpha is probably the most powerful alpha in the country.” He turns off one of the beside lamps. “I’m happy to answer all your questions, but you need sleep.”
His words remind me how tired I am, and I can’t help my yawn. “Aren’t you tired?”
“I’m fine; shifters don’t need as much sleep.” I hold his shirt out to him, and he eyes it and then me.
“Keep it in case you need it again.”
I’m too tired to argue with him, so I drape it over the end of the bed and climb under the covers. I sigh as soon as my head hits the pillow. I’m already starting to drift off when I remember Jackson doesn’t have a bed. “Do you want me to help you make a bed?” I ask in the darkness.
“I’m good; thanks. Just sleep, Kayla. I’ll watch over you and Noah both to make sure you’re safe.”
I want to argue, but I can’t find the words.
I’m so tired. I’m asleep before I fully form my next thought.
Something wakes me up sometime later, and I blink in the darkness.
I open my eyes, and it takes me a moment to remember we’re in the hotel room with Jackson.
I blink weary eyes and see it’s just after two in the morning.
I hear movement and turn to see a dark shape moving through the darkness.
My breathing speeds up, and the movement stops. “Jackson?” I whisper in the darkness.
“It’s me. Did I wake you?” His voice is quiet in the dark.
I blink, still trying to wake up. “How come you’re not sleeping?” I keep my voice quiet, like he did.
“My wolf doesn’t do well in enclosed spaces,” he admits after a long, silent moment. “Being up this high isn’t helping either.”
“How have you been sleeping the other nights?” I ask.
“Outside,” he admits. “In wolf form.”
“Oh. You can do that Jackson; we’re fine.”
“I’m not leaving you and Noah,” he pretty much growls at me. “I’ll be fine; my wolf will calm down eventually.”
“What does your wolf do? Like right now, when he doesn’t want to be here. What does he do?”
“Tries to get free, force the shift.”
“The shift, as in you turning into a wolf?” I ask.
“Yeah. Don’t worry; I’ve got him fully under control.”
I’m quiet a moment. “Would it help?” I finally ask.
“Would what help?”
I take a breath. “If you let him out. Would it help?”
“If I shifted?” he repeats in surprise.
“Yeah. That’s what I meant. If you shifted, would it help?”
“I don’t know,” he says honestly. “But shifting is the last thing I’ll let him do right now; I’m keeping him fully locked down.”
“Okay, but if you need to let him out, that would be okay.” I pause and try to find him in the darkness. “I mean, he wouldn’t hurt us, right?”
“No. Never.” He’s adamant.
“Okay.”
“Thanks, Kayla,” he says softly. It’s quiet again, and I move my pillows into a more comfortable position.
He moves away; I can only tell because I don’t really feel him nearby anymore.
I roll over and try to go to sleep, but I can’t.
I debate what I’m about to do a hundred times before I finally commit. “Jackson?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ve got something that might help you.” I pat the bed next to me and then remember it’s dark. “I’m patting the bed next to me.”
“I know; I can see in the dark.”
“Well, that’s a nifty trick.”
“Part of being a shifter,” he says, but I swear I can hear humor in his voice.
“Okay, well since you can see, get over here.”
“Why?” he questions.
“I’m going to try something on you that I used to do for Noah.”
“Should I be offended that you want to try something that you used to do on your brother who’s only seven?”
“No. Now, come on. I’m tired and want to go back to sleep.”
“What do you want me to do?” His voice is much closer now.
“Lay on this side of the bed.”
It’s quiet a moment. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
“Oh, for Pete’s sake, it’s not like I’m going to force myself on you or something. Come lay down.” A minute later, I feel the bed dip. “Now, was that so hard?” I ask him.
“You have no idea.” His voice is low and growly again. I move towards him carefully and then frown and listen to him for a moment.
“Why are you breathing funny?”
“You wouldn’t understand,” he says.
I scowl in the dark at him. “Try me.”
“I’m trying not to breathe in your scent.”
I freeze, and panic fills me. “Do I smell?” I ask in a horrified whisper.
“No. It’s worse than that.”
“What could be worse than stinking?” I ask, my horror growing.
“You smell incredible; I can’t think about anything else and that’s dangerous.” I suck in a shaky breath at his words. “Too much?” he asks.
“No, not at all.” My voice is breathless.
“Too much,” he growls.
I blow out a breath. “Okay, maybe a little. Now, let’s put all that aside and focus. This is something I used to do for Noah when he couldn’t sleep.”
“So, you’ve mentioned,” he grumbles.
“Roll away from me,” I tell him.
Thankfully he does; I can feel it. I take in a deep breath, feeling like I’m able to breathe a little easier with him facing away from me now. “I’m going to touch you now.” I feel the warning is necessary.
“Okay.” His voice is deeper now. I move a little closer, so I can reach him. Then I run my fingers through his hair on the back of his head and massage the back of his head lightly.
“How does that feel?” I ask.
“Really good.”
I smile. “Good.” I continue, switching hands when one gets tired.
It’s absolutely quiet in the room, and I keep massaging the back of his head.
I thought it would be weird, but it’s not.
Of course, it’s also the middle of the night and pitch black.
I don’t think it would work near as well if I could see him; I know I would lose my nerve.
After a little while, I stop. “Does that still feel good?”
“Yeah.”
I smile at the sleepy tone to his voice and continue what I’m doing.
After a little while, exhaustion plagues me; and I can’t hold my arms up anymore.
I doubt that he’s asleep, but he doesn’t say anything.
I don’t either. I simply lay back on my pillows and close my eyes; sleep claims me minutes later.
When I open my eyes again, it’s morning.
The sun shines through the cracks around the curtains.
I look over at the other side of the bed and see it’s empty.
I wonder how long Jackson stayed in bed last night.
Did he get up right away? Did he sleep there all night?
Did he jump out of bed as soon as he saw me this morning?
I push those questions from my mind and sit up and stretch.
I look over at Noah’s bed and see it’s empty.
I freeze, looking around the room. “Noah?” I’m out of bed a moment later.
“Noah?” I pad over to the bathroom, but he’s not in there.
I try to keep my panic at bay and remind myself there can be so many plausible explanations as to where he’s at.
But I need to find him. I hurry over to the door and throw it open and come face-to-face with Jackson.
I jump a foot in the air. “What are you doing?” I ask, putting a hand over my heart.
He shows me the key card. “I was just getting ready to open the door; I felt your panic. What’s wrong?” He says all this while somehow managing to maneuver me back into our room.
“I can’t find Noah.”
“Oh.” His entire face relaxes. “He’s with us.”