Chapter 35
Kayla
I look out across the fields. “So, this mate thing. Talk to me about it. Are we like married now? Do Noah and I have to move to wherever you live? I don’t know where that is, by the way.
And what if I don’t want this? How does Renee fit into all this?
And with me being what I am, does that mean I have to do anything?
Or like, I don’t know, practice my healing?
What happens if we try this thing and decide we don’t want to do it?
What if you get to know me and decide you don’t like me?
What if we have like no chemistry? What if...
” my voice trails off as I suddenly run out of questions.
“Anything else?”
I wave a hand. “I know I’ve got a thousand other questions, but none are coming to mind at the moment.”
I don’t look over at him. Somehow, it’s easier to have this conversation without looking at him.
It's quiet between us, and I wonder if he’s not going to answer any of my questions.
Finally, he speaks. “I never wanted a mate, and my wolf agreed.” His words sting a little, and I feel the rejection deep.
It’s stupid because I’m still not sure I even want to pursue a relationship with him, but the words still hurt.
“My wolf is super dominant and very aggressive and never gives me a moment’s rest or peace.
Add to that, my father and mother were not a good example, and I didn’t want a mate to slow me down.
I’ve been fine with that thinking, fine for twenty-five years.
And then I smelled your scent on Ava.” I hear him take a deep breath.
“I’ve been chasing that scent, trying to find you for months.
It was driving me crazy not knowing where you were, if you were safe. And then I finally met you.”
“And you realized what a mess I was?” I offer, trying to laugh it off.
He puts a hand on my knee, shocking me so much my eyes jerk to his.
“I smelled your scent as soon as I stepped into the restaurant. But seeing you for the first time knocked the air from my lungs. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on, both inside and out.” I don’t know what to say, and I seem to have forgotten the concept of breathing.
I don’t know if he’s aware that he’s rubbing his thumb over my knee, but I am keenly aware of it.
“And then something amazing happened.” I can’t find any oxygen, but I continue to stare into his bright blue eyes.
“My wolf was calm. The entire time you were around, every time you’re around, my wolf is calm.
You’re my mate, Kayla. I can tell you right now; I will never change my mind about you.
My wolf and I have claimed you as yours.
It is similar to marriage in the human world, with the exception of getting a divorce.
Wolves never leave their mates. If you decided you didn’t want to be with me, I would let you go.
” He pauses a minute, and his eyes darken.
“I would try to let you go, but I would always make sure you were safe, Kayla. You’re mine, and that will never change.
” He rubs the back of his neck with his other hand.
“I will try to give you space and give you what you need. But I have to tell you. I have this need to make sure you’re safe, protected, happy; and it's not going to go anywhere. I’m not exactly a chill person.
” I smile at that; I can’t help it. “I’m sorry you weren’t given a choice; I will always regret having to claim you as my mate while you were unconscious.
But I don’t regret saving your life; I will never regret that.
I’m not sure if I answered all your questions, but I know this.
I choose you, Kayla. I choose you today; I choose you tomorrow, and I’ll choose you fifty years from now.
That will never change. But,” he bends his head, so his eyes meet mine.
“You have a choice. I won’t ever take that choice from you.
” He turns his head slightly and then turns back to me. “Noah’s asking about you.”
I sit up straight. “We’ve been gone a while.”
He stands to his feet and puts a hand out, pulling me to my feet effortlessly.
“We can get back.” He walks over to the end of the truck and hops down.
I follow him and plan to jump down, but he surprises me by putting his hands up and grasping me around the waist. He lowers me to the ground like I weigh nothing.
I expect him to step away, but he doesn’t.
Neither does he drop his hands from my waist. I look up at him, wondering what he’s thinking.
He stares down at me with intensity in his gaze.
He lifts a hand and cups the back of my neck and tugs me gently forward.
I barely breathe as he pulls me close. When he’s only a few centimeters away, he stops.
“I want to try something,” he says in a voice so low, I can barely hear him.
“Okay.” I whisper.
He pulls me the remaining centimeters towards him. “Is this okay?”
I nod, and he pulls me the rest of the way.
His lips meet mine so lightly, I almost don’t feel it.
Then he kisses me again. And again. Each touch is featherlight.
I pull back slightly. "Huh. That was my first kiss. I gotta say, Jackson. That was really a disappointment. I really thought it would be more—” I don’t get any more out.
He drops an arm around my back and pulls me towards him, while he pulls lightly on the back of my hair, angling me better.
Then he consumes me; that’s the only word I have to describe it.
Heat explodes through me, and my heart starts racing.
His body is wrapped around mine, and still, it’s not enough.
I put my hands on his chest, and he growls low in his chest. I wrap my fingers in his tank and pull him closer.
His growl is much deeper this time, and my body ignites.
I run my hands over his shoulders and down his biceps, getting a feel of solid muscle that makes my heart race even more.
I reach up to the back of his head and pull his head down, wanting him closer.
Suddenly, I’m airborne. He puts a hand under my backside and lifts me, and I wrap my legs around his waist as he deepens the kiss.
I gasp at the sensation, and he takes full advantage.
He thrusts his tongue inside my mouth. His tongue chases mine, and I don’t know where he starts and I end.
I don’t know how long we kiss, but it feels like both forever and only for a few seconds.
He pulls back, and I resist groaning. I stare up at him and try to remember what my name is.
His eyes are so bright, they almost hurt to look at.
“I don’t think chemistry is going to be a problem.” He pretty much growls the words at me.
I throw my head back and laugh. I look at him, nearly eye to eye with how he’s holding me. “You’re a pretty good kisser, Jackson. Had lots of practice?”
“I haven’t had any practice. How about you, Baby? You’re wickedly talented with that tongue of yours.” He raises an eyebrow, and it’s so sexy.
I grin. “Wouldn't you like to know?”
He growls and doesn’t smile. “Yes. I want to know.”
“Why?” I ask, running my fingers through his hair on the back of his head.
“Because they’re all dead.” He doesn’t smile, and I’m pretty sure he’s not teasing.
I smile. I probably shouldn’t encourage this behavior, but it’s hard not to.
I’ve never been the center of someone’s universe before; it’s a pretty heady feeling.
I drop my smile, so he knows I’m serious.
“I’ve never been with anyone, Jackson. I’ve never even kissed another guy.
Like I said, that was my first kiss.” My words feel embarrassing to me, but he doesn’t seem to think so.
“Good. Because all of your kisses are mine.”
I can’t resist pushing his buttons; I think it’s becoming my new favorite pastime. “Are they now?” I ask.
“Yes.” His voice is harsh.
As good as this feels right now, I can’t help but ask. “What if you change your mind?”
“I won’t.”
“I know you say that now, but what if you do?” I can’t help my worry.
He looks me right in the eye. “That’s the thing about a shifter.
We don’t change our minds. Once our minds are made up; we are dead set.
I know you’re not from our world, and you don’t know this about wolves.
But we don’t ever change our minds about our mates.
We are obsessed with them. I used to think it wasn’t really true, but then I met you.
You’re it for me, Kayla.” He chuckles, and I can feel it vibrate through his chest. “I’m obsessed with you, with everything about you.
The more I get to know you, the more obsessed I become.
I realize it’s all just words, but I’ll show you.
Give me time; give me a chance. That’s all I’m asking for. ”
I stare up at him. “I want to get to know you better; I want to give this a chance.”
He blows out a breath and leans his forehead against mine.
“Thank you; that’s all I’m asking for.” He leans forward and kisses me again, but this one is gentle and tender.
It feels like more, like so much more. When he pulls back, I’m glad he’s holding me because I feel like mush. “We should probably get back.”
I nod. “You’re right.”
He gives me one more quick kiss and then sets me on my feet. He takes my hand in his, and I can’t hardly wrap my mind around what just went down between the two of us. “Where is home for you?” I ask when we’re settled in his truck.
“Alabama,” he says as he starts the truck and puts his flannel shirt back on.
“If you insist on wearing long-sleeved shirts when it’s this hot, I’m going to find you a better material.”
He glances over at me. “Okay.” He reaches out his hand, and I don’t think twice about it before I slip mine in his. “There is one thing we haven’t talked about yet, something you need to know about our connection, our bond.”
I look over at him. “Okay.”
“Because of the mate bond, we’re connected kind of like pack members are. Because of our bond, we can speak directly to each other, mind to mind.”
I blink. “Come again?”
We can do this. His voice in my head startles me so much, I jump in my seat. He squeezes my hand. “Sorry, I guess I should have warned you.”
“No kidding, but now I’m intrigued. Can I do it back to you?” He nods. “How?”
“Think of something you want to tell me, but think of—” he pauses.
“I guess think of telling only me. Maybe? I don’t really know; I’ve never had to explain it before.
Just try; I think it will work pretty easily.
” I try to think of something to say to him and come up blank.
After a minute, he smirks. “Don’t overthink it; just think of something you would say to me. ”
You smell good. He doesn’t say anything. “It didn’t work, did it? I can try again.”
He squeezes my hand gently, stopping me. “It worked.”
“Oh. Are you sure?”
He chuckles. “Yeah. You did good.” I watch him, and he finally turns to me. “Hearing your voice in my head is the second best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
My interest is piqued. “What’s the first best thing?”
He doesn’t skip a beat. “Meeting you.”