Chapter 38
Kayla
I head upstairs to Ransom’s room and knock on the door.
He opens it, and I catch the look on his face.
He must know something’s brewing outside.
He steps back and lets me in. “Hey, Noah.” I intentionally keep my voice upbeat.
“Did you have a good time?” He nods, his eyes looking between Ransom and me.
“We’re going to head back to our room now.
” He walks over to me, his face as solemn as ever.
“Thank you, Ransom,” I tell him at the door. He nods and holds the door for us.
“Did you have a good time?” Ransom asks.
I can’t resist smiling. “Yeah. We got to play with pygmy goats.”
His eyebrows nearly hit his hairline. “Jackson played with pygmy goats?”
“I’ve got proof; I’ll show you later.”
He smirks. “Please do.”
“Thank you,” I mutter to Noah, nodding my head towards Ransom.
“Thank you,” Noah manages to mumble as he joins me in the hall.
“You’re welcome.”
We walk back to our room, and Noah plops down on the sofa bed. “I’m hopping in the shower; I’ll be out in a few,” I tell him.
After taking a shower and taking some ibuprofen, I feel a little better; but I can’t relax.
The girls asked me if I wanted company, but I declined.
I really don’t at the moment. I pace the room and wait for Jackson.
I didn’t miss the tension that was building outside, and I’m not really sure I get it.
I’m trying to understand the dynamics. I get what Jackson said about rogue wolves, but Jackson’s not the bad guy.
Neither is Ransom. They’re both really good guys.
I look over at Noah, who’s currently preoccupied with his iPad.
I make the bed and then sit, wondering what’s going to happen next.
In the quiet, it’s impossible to not think all the thoughts I’ve been pushing away the last twenty-four hours.
Now, those thoughts are center stage. I look over at Noah, reassuring myself that he’s healthy.
Renee’s betrayal cuts deep, and I feel the hurt almost physically.
I worry she might have broken something fundamentally in me that I can’t fix.
I’ve always had issues trusting people; I’m sure it’s because of my childhood.
She took that trust problem I have and just compounded it and increased it a hundredfold.
I wonder if I’ll ever be able to trust anyone besides myself ever again.
I think about Jackson being able to turn into a wolf and stand up and start pacing again.
If I'm honest with myself, I’ve known since the very first time I met him that there was something different about him.
I just couldn’t put my finger on it; now, I can.
I think about how he changed into a wolf in merely seconds and wonder if that’s how it always is.
I take a shuddering breath. I’m not afraid of Jackson, exactly; I’m more...
uncertain. I don’t feel any danger coming from him in particular, but I can’t say the same for his wolf.
My stomach growls, but I ignore it. It seems like the least of my worries right now.
I feel guilty for coming up here; I should have stayed down there with Jackson.
It was obvious something was going down, and they didn’t want me down there for it.
The door opens, and I whirl around. I take in the sight of Jackson, and my breath catches in my throat.
It doesn’t matter that I spent all afternoon with him.
The sight of him in his tank and jeans with all those muscles on display short circuits my brain.
He locks eyes with me and walks straight to me.
“How are you feeling?” His words are gruff, but I don’t take them that way.
I wave off his concern. “I’m fine; what about you? What was that all about downstairs?”
“Are you in pain?”
I shake my head. “I’m fine. Now, what happened?”
Before he can answer, there’s a knock at our door. I watch in fascination as he sniffs and then growls low in his chest. His hands drop to my hips, surprising me. “The alpha and his mate are here.”
“You know it’s them just from sniffing the air?” He nods, his eyes intense. “Okay.” I glance over at the door. “Are you going to let them in?”
“Do I have to? I’d rather just keep them out.”
I shake my head and feel a smile coming on. “I’ll do it.”
I start towards the door, but he snags my hand.
“I’ve got it.” Before he walks to the door, I watch as he stops next to Noah.
“Hey, Bud, you good?” Noah nods at him. “Can you do me a favor? Can you put in headphones for a little bit?” Noah looks to me, and I give him a reassuring nod.
He pulls out his headphones and puts them on, and Jackson rubs the top of his head.
“Thanks.” Then he stands to his feet, glances at me once more, and then walks over to the door.
He opens the door and stands in front of it, so I can’t see what’s going on.
I’m not about to have that, so I walk over and put my hand on his back.
When he doesn’t move, I pinch his side. He turns so his eyes meet mine, and I expect to see frustration.
What I don’t expect to see is the look of heat he sends my way.
You want to play, Beautiful? We can play...
just as soon as they leave. He doesn’t look away when he says the words, and I feel my face heat.
I can’t even say anything back; it’s like my brain shuts down.
He smirks and then turns back to the door.
Done with this, I burrow my way under his arm.
Ha. I did it. I look up to give him a grin of satisfaction, and I realize just how close we are.
I’m literally trapped between his arm and his body.
I did not think this through, I think to myself.
He gives me one more heated look and then faces the hall.
I force myself to look that way too. I don’t look at Garrett, because he’s just plain scary.
But I do meet Emma’s eyes. She gives me a knowing smile.
“Come on in,” I tell them, stepping back and forcing Jackson to back up with me.
I grin at getting the upper hand, but it’s a moment too soon because a hand drops across my stomach.
Jackson pulls me against him, and I catch my breath and stay quiet as Garrett and Emma walk past us and into the room.
Mate, Jackson practically purrs in my head.
Are you sure you know what you’re doing?
Somehow, his thumb finds my skin, and he strokes it gently.
The feel of his calloused thumb on my stomach sends a bolt of heat through me.
I step away from him, and I hear a chuckle through our bond.
I know my face is red, but I can’t ignore our company any more.
I start towards Garrett and Emma, but Jackson tugs on my hand and slips his fingers through mine.
Emma smiles at Noah. “Hey, Noah.” Noah gives her a nod of acknowledgment.
I look towards the two of them and see that Garrett is standing with his feet planted, but he has his hand on Emma’s back.
He makes a pretty imposing figure, and I can feel myself start to tense.
That is until I look up at Jackson. Something about just looking at him soothes me, and I step closer to him.
“So,” I start. “This isn’t a social visit. ”
“No, it’s not,” Garrett says. He looks at Jackson, with a look that I can only guess means he’s sizing him up. “What’s your plan?”
I can tell Jackson is surprised by the question, but he still answers right away. “We’re going after the vampires.”
Garrett doesn’t look very surprised, but I am. “Wait, what?”
Jackson glances down at me and runs his gaze over my face. “We’re going to find the ones that are after you and end them.”
“Renee?” I ask. He doesn’t answer out loud, but the answer is all over his face. “Jackson,” I breathe.
“She left you to die.” His voice is a rumble.
“You can’t go alone,” Garrett says, studying him.
Jackson stares right back. “I won’t. My group will be at my back.”
Garrett’s quiet a moment. “You sure they’re not pack?”
Jackson’s voice is hard when he answers. “That’s the second time you’ve asked. The answer is still no.”
“Why?” Garrett asks quietly. “You’re dominant enough to be the leader.”
“I’m not going to do that to them. Most of them barely escaped with their lives; I won’t lord over them and control them.”
Emma glances up at Garrett but stays quiet.
Garrett studies Jackson again. Jackson doesn’t move a muscle.
“I’m going to go out on a limb and say you didn’t grow up in a good pack.
If you did, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.
” I can tell Jackson is irritated, but he stays quiet.
“I don’t lord over my pack, and I certainly don’t control them. ”
Jackson scoffs. “You’re one of the most powerful alphas in the country.”
Garrett doesn’t miss a beat. “Yes, and I don’t need my people to cower in fear before me to prove that.
I know my strength; I don’t have to prove it, except for the occasional challenge.
I love my pack, and I use my strength for the good of the pack.
Because I’m so strong, I keep our pack in line.
I keep them safe; I handle problems. I deal with the wolves that get out of line because I love them and want what’s best for them.
By not taking control of your people, you leave them without a leader. ”
“I can lead without being their alpha,” Jackson responds gruffly.
“You can, but you can’t truly keep them safe.
” Jackson growls at that, and I squeeze his hand.
I don’t know anything about packs, but I know Jackson is struggling with this right now.
“You can’t let the entire pack know instantly when there’s a threat to their safety.
You can’t use your alpha power to stop a teen or someone who’s going to hurt themself or someone in your pack.
I use my dominance to protect and take care of my pack.
Ask any one of my wolves if they’re happy in my pack.
For the general majority, they are. I’m not dominating and controlling them; I’m protecting them. ”
“That’s what you say,” Jackson tosses back to him.
Garrett’s eyes flash. “You think any one of the dominants with me couldn’t be the alpha of their own pack?
You think I control Max or Liam? Not a chance.
But by coming under my authority, we work together for the betterment of the pack.
” His voice gentles the littlest bit. “Somebody has to lead. Look at any institution; look at nature. If I were to guess, those closest to you want you to lead. They would follow you if you did; they’re simply waiting for you to make your move.
” He wraps an arm around Emma and pulls her close.
“I love my mate more than anything in this world, and because of that, I protect her. I’m not better than her, and she’s not beneath me. ”
“But I need Garrett to lead,” Emma interjects quietly. “I don’t want to. I stand beside him and support him a hundred percent, but I don’t want to be the leader. Your people probably feel the same way,” she says gently.
“Lead the right way,” Garrett adds. “Lead the way you didn’t see it done. Lead by doing the hard things nobody else wants to do. That’s not dominance; that’s love.”