Chapter 51
Kayla
I whirl around. “Nothing.” He studies my face, and I really hope it’s blank. “Are you hungry?” He continues to study my face, and I know I’ll crack under that intense gaze that always sees too much. “I’ll warm up the enchiladas again; I’m sure they’re cold by now.”
A warm hand wraps around my elbow. “Kayla.” I close my eyes. He hasn’t called me that in weeks. “Talk to me,” he says in a gentle voice.
Tears threaten to build, and I inwardly scold myself.
There’s no reason to be emotional; except there is.
I know what time of the month it is. With my period just a few days away, I’m super emotional.
I hate that I get like this. “It’s nothing.
” But even I hear the catch in my voice.
It’s quiet between us, and he drops my arm a moment later and walks into the kitchen.
I give myself a moment to gather my composure before I walk into the kitchen with a smile on my face.
Noah takes his last bite and walks over to the sink, rinses his plate, and puts it in the dishwasher before bounding out of the kitchen. I watch him go in confusion.
“Ransom’s on his way to pick him up,” Jackson explains.
I frown. “Ransom’s here?”
He nods. “He and Martin got into town this afternoon for the meeting tomorrow.”
“Oh.” I’d forgotten about it, but tomorrow’s the meeting with several leaders from different packs. “Are they staying for dinner?” I ask, ready to set out more plates.
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t want them to,” he says simply.
“Jackson,” I start.
“Kayla,” he says right back, and I frown at him. But before I can say anything else, somebody knocks on the front door. I resist the urge to sigh in frustration. The front door feels like a revolving door today. Jackson walks over to the front door and opens it, admitting Ransom.
“Mmm. Smells good in here,” Ransom says with a wide grin as his eyes land on me.
His eyes skim the length of me. I raise my eyebrows, and Jackson growls low in his chest and steps in front of me, blocking Ransom’s view of me.
I hear Ransom laugh, and I move to stand beside Jackson. “I was just checking to see.”
“See what?” I blurt out.
His eyes dance. “The condition you were in. I mean Jackson had you to himself for a month here.”
“The condition?” I start, and then it hits me. He’s checking to see if I’m pregnant. I snort out a laugh. “Yeah, that’s a hard no.” My words come out a little harsher than I intend them to.
It gets very quiet in the room, and I feel Jackson’s eyes on me.
But I don’t meet his gaze. I realize I just slipped up.
Thankfully, Noah appears a moment later, saving me from this awkward conversation.
I walk over to him and pull him in for a hug.
“Have fun. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, and don’t do anything Ransom would do. ”
Ransom laughs. “Hey, now.”
Noah hugs me quickly. “See ya.” I follow him outside, and Jackson and Ransom walk out behind us.
“Hey, Martin,” I call out to the man standing near the car.
He smiles warmly at me. “Hey, Luna.” I frown at his words.
“Luna is the mate to the alpha of a pack,” Jackson says simply as he steps up behind me.
“Yeah, she’s kind of like the pack mother,” Ransom adds. “No pressure,” he adds with a grin before bounding down the steps towards the car. “We’ll bring him back in one piece.”
“See that you do,” Jackson says. Noah waves and then climbs into the backseat.
Ransom drives the three of them away a moment later.
I turn and walk back inside and head into the kitchen, hoping to avoid the questions I have a feeling are coming from Jackson.
I turn the oven back on, so I can reheat the enchiladas.
“What’s the old-fashioned way?” Jackson asks, not letting it go.
I groan and look over my shoulder and see him leaning against the wall, his arms across his broad chest. My eyes take in the way his biceps strain against the t-shirt he’s wearing before I force my gaze away.
“Hey,” he says, walking over to me. “What was that?” There’s genuine confusion in his voice and something that sounds like hurt.
“What was what?” I ask, looking no higher than his chest.
There’s a finger under my chin a moment later, and he lifts it gently.
His eyes are filled with confusion. “Why would you turn away like that?” There’s no looking away now.
“What's going on, Mate? You know that I love having your eyes on me, right? I love you desiring me. There’s nothing wrong with that. I’m yours, and you’re mine. You can look at me whenever you want.”
Something snaps inside me. “I can look, right? Just not touch.” I regret the words the instant they leave my mouth.
His eyes darken, and I see his confusion. “What are you talking about?” he growls. “Is this from Raechel? I know she upset you. If she said something,” he starts, and I cut him off.
“She didn’t.”
His scowl deepens. “What was she talking about doing things the old-fashioned way?” I sigh because I know he’s not going to let this go. Jackson is like a dog on a bone when it comes to me, or I guess like a wolf? I know there’s no getting out of this conversation.
“I told her that you don’t want me, and she said it’s probably because I haven’t told you I’m ready.
She said I should go about it the old-fashioned way.
” I’m hoping he gets it without me having to spell it out for him.
But his face is utterly blank. I release a frustrated breath.
“She told me to strip and lay on the bed naked,” I say, ripping the band aid clean off.
“She said that would give you a clue.” I laugh, but it sounds wrong even to my own ears.
“She’s a little delusional...and hormonal because she’s preg—” I don’t get to finish the words before he sweeps my feet out from under me and pulls me to his chest and strides out of the kitchen.
I look over his shoulder. “Wait, I turned on the oven to reheat the enchiladas; and we need to eat.” He doesn’t say a word, but I feel the rumble in his chest. It starts out low and continues to grow.
He opens the door to his room and then kicks the door closed behind him.
The growling still hasn’t cut off. He sets me on my feet, and I take in the expression on his face.
“You’re mad,” I say flatly.
“I’m furious,” he growls at me, and his eyes flash dangerously.
“But not at you,” he quickly amends. He takes a breath, and I see that he’s trying to control himself.
He palms the back of his neck, and his chest rises and falls in quick succession.
I don’t know if I’ve ever seen him this close to losing control.
Worry fills me, and I step close. “Hey, are you okay?”
His eyes flash again. “No,” he growls at me.
“My mate doesn’t think I want her. Nothing about this is okay!
” His words shock me into silence, and he steps closer.
“I want you every moment of every day. I wake up wanting you, and I go to bed wanting you. I dream about you. When I’m not with you, I think about you constantly.
There’s not been a moment since I first smelled your intoxicating scent that I haven’t wanted you.
I wanted to give you time, to make sure you were ready.
I would never rush you into something you didn’t want or weren’t ready for.
I forced the bond on you, I didn’t want to force anything else on you.
I desire you every moment of the day.” His eyes are brighter now.
“I want you with every fiber of my being, Baby; and I’m so sorry you didn’t know that or feel that. ”
I’m so close to crying. Needing to lighten the moment, I say, “So, the naked thing would have worked?”
He growls low in his chest and steps closer. “The naked thing will always work.”
I lift a brow, challenging him as a side comes out of me that I didn’t even know I had. “How do you know?”
“Careful,” he says in a low voice that’s all wolf. “I’m barely in control, right now.” I take in the way his body is almost literally shaking, he’s holding himself so stiffly. Suddenly, I don’t want the control he’s known for. I take a step back from him, my eyes never leaving his.
“What if I don’t want you in control?” I ask in a low voice that doesn’t sound like my normal voice. I reach up and finger the strap of my tank top. He watches, his eyes glued to my hand. “I very much want you to lose control, Jackson.”
And then he does.
____________
The next morning, I finish my hair and step out of the bathroom.
Before I make it any further, Jackson snags me around the waist and pulls me into his chest, his bare chest, before kissing the breath right out of me.
When he finally pulls back, and I struggle to catch my breath, I stare up at him.
“If you keep doing that, we won’t make it to the meeting. ”
“Are you asking me to keep my hands off you, Mate?” he asks in a voice that’s all wolf. “Because that’s not going to happen.”
I smile as pure contentment flows through me. “No, I’m never going to ask you to keep your hands off me.” He growls in agreement. “I’m just reminding you that we have to get to that meeting.” He kisses me one more time and then rests his head against mine.
“As soon as the meeting is done, you and I are coming back here. Alone.”
“And doing what?” I ask in a hushed whisper.
“Just some things,” he says, pulling back. “The old-fashioned way.”
I laugh. “What about Noah?”
“I’ll ask Ransom to take him.”
I shake my head, still smiling. “Ransom already kept him last night for us.”
“And he’ll keep him again if he knows what’s good for him,” he all but growls at me.
I laugh and then reach up on my toes and press my lips to his, needing to one more time. He doesn’t disappoint. I love you, I send him through our bond, the bond I officially sealed when I bit him last night and we came together for the first time.
I love you more than life itself, he sends back. I had no idea life could be this good.