Chapter 31
SIMEON
Imust have lost my mind. Why do I possess this urgent need to bear my sinful soul to an angel? She will be horrified, disgusted even, but I am determined she sees the whole of me before we begin whatever this is.
I am second-guessing my decision as we step into hell, and as the door closes behind us, she whispers, “What is this place?”
“Sin.”
We move to a gallery that circles an area below us, and as I drag her over to the side, her gasp of horror crushes me inside.
“Are they?”
She stills as she witnesses the show, several spectators on the gallery along with us observing the couples performing sexual acts below.
“Yes, Alice. They are fucking strangers for fun. Anyone can join in; you merely have to pass a screening process before you are permitted to join in the fun.”
Her breath hitches as she stares at the scene in horror, and yet she moves to the side, her hand clutching the rail as she watches the scene.
“Is this illegal?”
“No”
“No?”
Her gaze flicks my way and I shrug. “I have a license and pay the authorities to turn a blind eye. In fact, many of the top people at City Hall are members and protect their hobby well.”
“That’s…” Her voice trails off as she regards the scene and stills as she stares at a couple of guys fucking one woman between them.
“Do you?” Her question hangs in mid-air, and I shake my head. “No, my hobby is more private.”
“Your hobby?”
She shakes her head in astonishment. “You call this a hobby? Why couldn’t you collect stamps or something like a normal guy, or go bowling?”
“I’ll show you my stamp collection later.”
I wink, causing her to giggle, and I’m unsure if it’s out of nerves or mere giddiness.
“Come.” I guide her to a vacant room set into the wall surrounding the gallery and wonder if I’m about to drive the final nail into the coffin of our marriage before the ink has even dried on the contract.
We enter the private room, and as I lock the door behind us, she raises her eyes. “Why?”
“Privacy. This room is now occupied and we won’t be disturbed.”
She tenses and I chuckle softly. “Don’t worry, angel, it’s merely to keep the customers out while you adjust to my world.”
“I can’t believe it.”
She gazes in disbelief at the practical room designed for pleasure, not comfort. There is a huge padded bench in the center, almost clinical, and on the wall are various sex toys that I’d be surprised if she knows the meaning of.
“Do people really come in here to, well–”
“Fuck.”
I shift off the wall and prowl toward her, extending my hand as I drag her to perch on the edge of the bench alongside me.
“Yes, they do. It’s liberating, really, because inside this room, you can be anyone or do anything. Nothing passes outside that locked door. Your darkest secrets remain here, and you walk away as strangers unless you wish otherwise.”
“So, you come here with–?”
The spike of hurt in her eyes cuts me deep, and I wonder about that.
“Women, yes, I do. I indulge my passion alongside theirs, and we walk away as strangers. There is no intimacy of minds, no hearts to crush, no feelings involved, just pure sexual gratification, and I believed that was all I ever needed until–”
I stop, and she turns to face me, her gaze soft and endearing, “Until?”
“Must I spell it out for you?”
I groan, raking my fingers through my hair as I struggle to use words that taste like acid on my tongue.
“I think you must.”
She strokes my face gently, smiling into my eyes, and I clutch her face between my fingers and say almost angrily, “Until I married a woman who infuriates the hell out of me, but I desire because of it. Because I met a woman who challenged everything I’ve built so hard to contain, to keep emotion out of my life.
Because I married a woman I am terrified that I will drive away, and a woman I would burn the world down to protect.
I didn’t ask to catch feelings, and now I’m terrified they will destroy me. Terrified this will destroy us.”
“Simeon.”
Her breath catches, and the shock on her face doesn’t give me anything to hold on to because I can’t read this woman at all. Have I shocked her with my declaration because I shocked the hell out of myself.
I don’t lay my emotions out to be trampled on. I hardly know her, and yet it’s as if I’ve known her all my life and as she crushes her lips to mine, it takes my breath away.
Her kiss is hard, fierce and desperate, and I groan as I tangle my fingers in her hair and hold her in place.
Kissing her deeply, ferociously even, and as she shifts closer, I hold her protectively, not wanting anything more than the connection we are sharing in this moment.
It’s hot, heavy and intimate and has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with commitment.
I want Alice to understand who I am because I promised not to lie to her.
She is an open book, and I love that about her.
That she surprises me with every turn of the page and reveals a plot twist I wasn’t expecting.
In bringing her here, I wanted to shock her, to test her boundaries, and to see if she really is my perfect match.
I believe she is.
I want her to be, because if she ever looks at me with anything less than adoration, I will consider that I have failed at life.