Chapter 8 - Emily
I have never lost my temper with anyone from the team, so it shocks me that I feel irritated when Arianna and Delilah follow me into the kitchen. My glass is full, but my fingers tremble as my thirst dies as soon as they find me, their approaching footsteps dramatically thunderous in my wary ears.
Taking a deep breath, I set the glass down beside the sink, turning to them and trying not to scowl, because I know I shouldn’t be angry with them, but I can’t help it. I’m still upset with myself, still angry with Sean.
I’m a mess, and I just made an even bigger fool of myself outside. Embarrassed, I hang my head, hiding behind my palms that still tingle with the remnants of the magic I wielded.
It’s all too overwhelming for me, and a sob rips from my throat.
“Oh, honey!” Delilah cries out, her voice carrying over my sobs before her arms close in around me. Another pair of arms is added—Arianna’s—and I’m just a weeping mess being held by my sisters as they console me with encouraging words.
“I-I don’t know what’s going on with m-me,” I sniffle, lifting my head and looking at them through tear-blurred vision.
Arianna wipes the tears from my cheeks while Delilah goes to the sink. She comes back with water, and this time, I find the courage to drink.
“You’re just overwhelmed, Em,” Arianna says with a soft, consoling smile. “A lot has happened in the span of three days. I don’t blame you.”
“It’s not that, Ari,” I pout, lifting the glass to my lips with a trembling hand. “I just…I don’t wanna be tied to Sean. I don’t want to depend on him for my powers like this.”
“Why?” Delilah asks, and I see the skepticism in her eyes, and my heart lurches.
I can’t tell them the truth.
“I-I don’t wanna be tied to anyone,” I lie. “If I wasn’t stupid—”
“No. You’re not doing that,” Delilah says firmly. “You’re not talking down to yourself because of a mistake you made. We all make mistakes, but we don’t let it bring us down.”
“Delilah is right, Em,” Arianna adds, cupping my cheek. “And you need to remember that you’re not alone in any of this. We’re here to support you,” she says as she points from her to Delilah. “The team is here to support you. And Sean is part of that team.”
“He’s a friend, and he cares about you,” Delilah says gently. “Don’t look at it through a personal lens, but rather, look at how it can serve you.”
“How?” I ask, my interest piqued, and Delilah and Arianna gently lead me to the kitchen table.
“It could have been worse,” Delilah proposes, and Arianna agrees with a nod.
“Yeah, the spell could have worked on someone else,” Arianna offers. “It could have been someone you don’t know, someone you don’t like.”
I bite my tongue when she says that, because she has no idea…
“At least it happened with someone you do know,” Delilah adds.
“So, you’re saying I need to look on the bright side of things?” I scoff. “I’ve been struggling with being positive through all of this.”
“You’re our Little Miss Sunshine,” Delilah states proudly, her chin raised, a glint in her hazel eyes as she smirks. “You joined black ops and brought sunshine into our darkest days. I don’t even know how I’d survive without you.”
“You helped me through the birthing process with Tyson,” Arianna reminds me with a soft smile. “I don’t know how I could have gone through that painlessly if it wasn’t for you. It was your smile, your hopefulness, that got me through that, Em. You’ve always been there for everyone.”
“So it’s time you let us be there for you.”
I blink back the tears in my eyes, discovering the true meaning of sisterhood with the two witches, and realizing how wrong it was of me to try and figure this out on my own.
“Thank you,” I murmur, glancing between them.
“Don’t thank us, Em,” Arianna whispers.
“Just let us in. Let us help you. Sean included,” Delilah says as she folds me into another warm, inviting embrace that softens my heart and extinguishes any lingering irritation I might have felt just now.
I realize I’d been feeling more irritated with myself than them, or even Sean.
They’ve all been trying to help me through this, and I’ve just been resistant to getting help.
Little Miss Sunshine?
More like Miss Hyper-Independent!
“I’m sorry, D…Ari…” I sigh as I glance between them.
Like anchors to keep me grounded, they wear smiles so sincere as they allow me to express myself.
“I’ve been pushing you guys away. I realize that now.
I should have come to you from the get-go, and I would have avoided the binding spell in the first place.
” I roll my eyes, and both women giggle.
“It’s fine, Em,” Delilah assures me. “You have nothing to apologize for.”
“Maybe we should take a break from training,” Arianna suggests, and Delilah nods.
“I don’t wanna take a break. I need to—”
“You need a break, Em,” Delilah insists, holding up a hand. “I think you should just take a few days off, and we’ll resume training next week.”
I nod slowly, noting that they’re just looking out for my best interests, and that I probably do need a break since I’ve been too overwhelmed by everything.
***
Days have passed, and my excitement about being the fifth witch that’s needed to defeat Merlin Grimes steadily returns, proving that the rest was needed.
Staring at my reflection in the mirror as the morning sun filters through the lace curtains, I tilt my head to one side and open my palms so that I can see in the mirror.
An invisible glow of gold surrounds them, a tingling sensation growing slowly the longer I stare at my reflection. I guess the witches were right—I just need to stay detached from my personal feelings and see Sean as a friend who will catapult me toward using my powers fully.
“Don’t look at it through a personal lens, but rather, look at how it can serve you.”
Sean hasn’t been serving me much when it comes to using my magic, ever since that day in his backyard. Actually, he’s been more distant than ever, gone before I head to the kitchen, returning only once I’ve retreated to my bedroom at night.
I lift one hand to my chest when I feel a pang of something I don’t recognize.
Guilt?
Regret?
I’m not sure what it is, but I know this feeling comes every time my mind drifts to what happened that day, the look on Sean’s face, the sadness glowing in his eyes. There’s a part of me that wants to gloat about making him feel even a semblance of what he made me feel when he rejected me.
But there’s also a part of me—perhaps my inner wolf—that feels remorseful.
No.
This won’t do.
I straighten up and stare into the bright blue eyes of my reflection, Delilah’s voice echoing in my mind like an affirmation, a mantra to keep me sane.
“Don’t look at it through a personal lens, but rather, look at how it can serve you.”
I need to detach from how I feel about Sean, remove myself from the hatred that’s been festering in my heart for the past five years. It can’t be so bad, can it?
After all, I was able to stick around in the black ops squad while he was there and act as if his existence didn’t affect me. Now, it’s no different. Not even with the lunar binding spell active.
I can do this. I can let his presence serve me rather than despise him for breathing near me. It’s not like it’s his fault that my magic is tied to him now. And there’s something I’m ready to test, a theory about my powers being most active when we make physical contact.
Perhaps I need to prove to myself that I can be fully detached before I resume training, and that’s why I walk out of the bedroom, still in my nightgown, and head to the kitchen to catch him before he leaves.
I know he’s avoiding me after what happened the other day, but being around each other is bigger than the past hanging between us.
“Hey…” I greet him calmly as I step into the kitchen, finding him zipping up his lunch bag to take with him to the office.
He looks up and greets me first with wary eyes, a frown flitting across his brows as if he’s gauging a life-or-death situation. “H-hey.”
I walk further into the kitchen with cautious steps on my bare feet, approaching him carefully as he watches me skeptically. The air between us is thick with tension, with words unspoken, and I know I have to rip the band-aid off.
“I’m resuming my training tomorrow,” I say matter-of-factly. “Will you be here?”
“If you need me to be here, I will be,” he responds, straightening up with his hands braced flat on the marble surface.
My eyes flicker to his arms, and I notice the prominent veins mapping thick muscles, internally whimpering and biting my bottom lip. But then Delilah’s voice rings out to remind me to detach, and I shake off the heinous, intrusive thought before it consumes me like it did in the past.
Lifting my eyes to his face doesn’t help much when the sun catches his sculpted features in a way that makes his hardened expression one to die for. But it only gives me more determination to be detached from my personal feelings.
This is a test of will, and I have to pass if I have any hope of fulfilling my destiny as a witch.
“I think it’s imperative that you are here,” I confirm with a stiff nod. “I’ve made peace with the fact that my powers are tied to you. But, even now, I don’t know if I can use them fully…” I murmur, dropping my gaze.
I can feel Sean’s eyes boring into me as he stares at my face. “So, what do you need me to do? Just say the word, and I’ll do whatever. Not because of the bond, not because of anything, but wanting to do what’s needed to put an end to Grimes.”
I lift my head to find his stare cool and collected, honorable, as if we’re back in black ops and he’s reporting for duty or bringing an update about a mission.
Detach, Emily.
Detach.
“I need you to be very still,” I say before I can think twice about the strange request. “There’s a theory I want to test.”
“Right now?” he asks, and I nod briskly.
Sean straightens up and removes his hands from the island counter, turning to the side even as a faint frown remains furrowing his brows.