Chapter 13 Because I Love You
"Gu Chaonan, take a deep breath. Look into my eyes."
He did as I said.
Warm yellow neon spilled in through the floor-to-ceiling windows.
It lit up the helpless fragility on his face, like he had fallen into a deep pit.
I cupped his face in my hands.
"It's exactly because I love you so much that I decided to tell you this after the Wedding."
"You're afraid I'll leave you. I'm also afraid my past will make you hold something against me."
Gu Chaonan's wet eyes filled with confusion.
His throat moved as he swallowed.
"You know I would never think that."
Of course I knew.
I understood him too well.
He would only spiral into restless anxiety.
Every second, he looked terrified I might leave him.
Worse, he might hurt himself again.
All I could do was give him enough security.
"But I don't want anyone affecting our Wedding."
"Didn't you want to know what I said to Xie Yiheng?"
Gu Chaonan's jaw went tight. He tipped his head up and watched me.
"I told him I love Gu Chaonan very much. I hoped he would be a decent man and stop trying to drive a wedge between us."
"Do you know how much I love you now?"
His lashes trembled, like he had gone shy.
He slumped against me as if all his strength had left him and gave a muffled sound of agreement.
"Still worried?"
"Worried."
I let out a breath of relief.
This was him acting spoiled because he knew he could.
And I was willing to indulge him.
I leaned down and pressed a kiss to his cool earlobe.
"Then feel it properly tonight?"
The muscles in Gu Chaonan's arms tightened at once.
He carried me back to the room.
He checked my love for him with urgent need.
I answered him patiently, again and again.
His grip loosened only after I held him through every kiss.
While he found comfort, I felt a happiness I could barely put into words.