Chapter 53
FIFTY-THREE
SAVANNAH
I thought rejecting Harley would make him realize we could never work and that he’d go back to avoiding me.
I was wrong.
If anything, it’s done the opposite and made him all the more determined to be around me, if him popping up wherever I am is anything to go by.
It reminds me of those early days, when he took my words as a challenge, and honestly, I shouldn’t have expected him to react any differently.
It’s been a week since our conversation, and I’ve seen him every day since.
It started with him being in the library at the same time as me, but he didn’t make contact.
Then it shifted to him sitting at my table, and when I stared at him in question, he just shrugged before pulling his work out and concentrating on that.
Then, he started joining me in the cafeteria, and it was somehow always just the two of us because both Lana and Gracie have miraculously been busy lately.
Now he’s taken it a step further and is sitting with me in class, when he’d normally do everything he can to be as far away from me as possible.
The weird part is that he hasn’t uttered a single word to me in the last week. It’s like he thinks if he doesn’t speak, then I won’t realize he’s there.
It’s a terrible tactic, considering I can’t do anything but notice the man.
And I’m not the only one, either. I see eyes on us whenever we’re together, and I have a feeling the two of us are a hot topic of gossip.
I take notes and try to ignore his presence, feeling his eyes on me, but not wanting to look at him and see whatever he’s thinking.
Hope? Regret? Anger?
I don’t want to know.
I can’t know, because if I give myself even the slightest bit of hope, my walls will come crashing down and I’ll be helpless to keep Harley out, and that’s just a recipe for disaster.
I don’t think I’ll survive losing him again.
But when the class ends, and I pack my things away, I huff as he stands around, waiting, and that’s when I decide I’ve finally had enough.
He doesn’t want to break the silence? Fine, I’ll do it.
I just want peace so I can attempt to move on, but how can I do that when his presence is a constant reminder of everything I could have had but lost?
I need him to realize that distance is for the best, and then we’ll both be able to move on.
Hopefully.
I mean, I’ve been trying to move on for years, and I haven’t gotten anywhere, but a girl can dream, right?
Knowing he’ll follow me, I head straight out of the building, around the corner, and come to a stop at the side of the building, then I whirl on him.
His eyes widen, his movements freezing as he comes to a halt in front of me. His fingers clench into a fist, as though he’s trying to stop himself from reaching out and touching me.
Good idea, because I have no idea how I’d react if he put his hands on me right now.
“What the fuck are you playing at, Harley?” I all but screech, my anger and annoyance at his behavior finally getting the best of me.
“Why do you seem to be everywhere I go? Why won’t you leave me alone?
And why the fuck haven’t you said a goddamn word to me when you’re following me around like a puppy begging for scraps? ”
His shocked expression morphs into satisfaction, a hint of a smirk curving his lips, and it only fuels my anger, but before I can unleash on him again, he shrugs nonchalantly and murmurs, “You told me not to speak to you.”
Oh, this asshole…
“And you thought following me around while keeping your mouth shut was the answer? Jesus Christ, Harley.”
He rolls his lips inward, looking a little sheepish. A sigh escapes my lips, and all of the fight leaves me.
“You need to understand that we can’t work, Harley. This? What you’re doing? It’s only going to hurt more in the long run.”
He takes a step toward me, the sheepishness melting away and turning to determination, and then he’s standing in front of me, our bodies so close we’re almost touching.
He reaches a hand out, trailing the pads of his fingers down my cheek with a featherlight touch, making my eyes flutter automatically.
“You told me the same thing before, and you were wrong then. Just like you’re wrong now.
I don’t care what I have to do, what lengths I have to go to, what boundaries I have to push or what walls I have to break down, I’m going to prove to you just what we can have if you stop letting fear rule you. ”
“Harley, I—”
“Shhhh,” he whispers, his finger resting on my parted lips before he pinches my chin with his thumb and forefinger, gently tilting my head up to look at him.
“Don’t shoot me down. Don’t say anything.
Just know that I’m not giving up. I’m not giving up on you, Sav, and I’m not giving up on us.
I did that once, and it just about destroyed me…
I can’t do that again. Now that I know what you went through, I’m not letting you get away a second time.
I don’t give a fuck if it takes me weeks, months, or even years to get through to you, I won’t stop until you realize what you have right in front of you.
I won’t stop until you stop fighting this and give in to what you really want, because I know this is what you want. I’m what you want.”
He cups the side of my face, and I swallow thickly, nerves flittering through me.
“I can see it in your eyes when you look at me. I can see the way your body instinctively reacts to mine, wanting to be closer. I can hear it in your words when you tell me to leave you alone, but your voice breaks, and I know that all you really want to do is drag me closer. You still feel the same way about me as you did back then, just like I do. Just like I always have. I may have fought myself on it for years, but not anymore. All you have to do is give in, Sav. Give in and let yourself be happy for once. Just think about it, yeah?”
He gives me a sad smile and leans down, placing a chaste kiss on my cheek, making tears gather in my eyes.
Stupid fucking tears, I’m so goddamn sick of crying.
My lips part, wanting to say something, anything, but before I can even get a word out, he’s backing away, then turning completely, leaving me alone to deal with the absolute shitshow that are my emotions.